gd evening blog~

i'm all alone at home again. haha.. my parents r on their way back from genting. my aunt has left for work nutin to do now. yapx.. actually, i'm supposed to like study for AO chinese which is on the 5th of nov rite? haha.. but i cant be bothered .. how? haha..
oh ya.. just rmbed.. i needto do some syuff tml morning such as putting well wishes of students ( back then on teachers' day from the xmas tree) to their pigeon holes.. uh oh.. haha.. so sorry.. did not go to school on fri yapx.. so no chacne to give.. opps...

anyway.. we're getting back our results tml.. i'm rather excited. i wonder wat i will get. i seriously hope to do badly. but no m,atter wat, i must NOT cry. haha.. i dun realli think i will.. coz i wanted to do badly in the 1st place.. in any case.. choy! touch wood! i pass, haha.. mayb then i will cry..
i m wondering how to convince my parents.. i wonder n wonder. thats oni thing i can do now.
okok.. lets not tok abt my studies & all.. its like i'm getting so sick n tired of discussing the same topic over n over n over n over n over again.

so.. wat have i been doing the whole holidays?? hmm.. i have been going out, watching movie, watching serials on tv.. n online. rather mundane i guess.. oh ya.. n i utterly EMBARRASSED MYSELF! omg.. it was such a bad experoience.

jan n i were at PS when she said she saw this guy who looked so much like sylvester(the one on sg idol). okok.. for those who know me well, ya.. i think sylvester is cute. so we trailed him into the arcade.. we were like omg.. discussing n discussoing n walking pass him to c if it were the real syl..so.. in the end.. i mustered up courage to tap on his shoulder n ask" hey r u syl ?" omg... guess wta he said??..."no."
at that time it was like.. i wanted to run off as soon as i could so without saying nmuch i asked janice to "escape" with me. haha.. omg.. the embarrassment. i wonder wat he thinks. he probably thinks i m a freaking bimbo. arghhh......oh no.. but after all.. he is quite cute.

heloo..

today i went to sch at abt 8 plus denstudied in the lib.. haha.. nv went to the lib so early b4.. the place was like damn quiet.. coz only 1 or 2 ppl.. i went to the 3rd floor.. to my fav place where i can see almost everyone.. it was damn hot n stuffy there but i didnt bother to go anywhere coz its my fav place!! n i think i as the only yr one there.. haha.. nvm.. i hardworking wat..like real) coz half the time at the lib i was reading a storybook coz i was simply too addicted le.. haha.. regret borrowing 3 books.. all romancwe de.. but i like.. cannot is it? hahx...
so after tt abt ten i went to find mrs lim.. for some chem questions.. luckily this time she did not scold mi or ne thing..

anyway.. lets talk abt yest.. went to amk lib str awae.. haha..den started to study.. but guess wat.. ended up with stoning instead.. haix.. mayb no mood to study ba.. very sian diao..after a few hrs.. some srjc ppl came to sit at my table.. haha.. so it was 3 against one.. i felt so bad.. coz one more opf thgeir fren couldnt sit bcoz of mmi.. but very sia suay.. like i move off to sit another place to l4et their fren sit? so i decided to kip quiet. neway.. they were talking rather loudly.. but sicne i ncoudlnt conc.. i decided to eavesdrop.. haha.. they r damn funni but must suppress my laughter.. den after a while.. i was listening to the radio..some conversation btw vernon A n jayzee ( or how u spell his name.. its the very comical one.. listen to jive drive n u will understanbd wat i mean.. ).. so ya.. i started to luff .. haha.. den the 2 guys who were sittting at the tabl;e.. (only them left coz the othger 2 found a table. ) look at me like i'm some soirta wierdo.. haha.. anyway.. one of them is quite cute.. haha. cannot say more.. if not he see my blodg.. i confirm die one.. he looks quite charming.. hasha.. okok..

speak no evil .. haha.. sorry.. anwyayx.. cant wait for mon to come.. den tue to come.. den i can go to the canada seminbar or exhibit on studying there.. it says i oni haf ta study til sep 2005 in their college then i can go to thier universuity.. but,. haix.. the problem now is with my parents.. i bet they wun let mi go.. but.. i realli wanna go .. n start anew.. instead of staying in tj/.// so even if i pass with a borderline pass.. coz no matter wat, i haf tried my best already..i think i m going to b persisitent to quit tj.. life there suckx.. but i dunnu if i m going poly or overseas.. hu says i m not independent .. i m .. but no matter wat, my parents will nv believe mi.. so haix.. i haf to try ta convine them. neways, u think i shld go amk lib now to study?? i wonder.. mayb.. if i cant stand boring home.. haha..
anyway.. i just discovered that being alone is not so bad after all.. i mean alone studying in lib or buying stuff or wat.. yap.. but not being single. its still sad case that kind. n i think i m a very faithful person.. i m lor.. haix.. but hus to blive?/??ne ways.. i haf to learn to be alone.. if not how m i to show my parents that i m independent enough.. anyway.. TJC sucks big time. sorryt.. i like the envt there.. n the ppl.. BUT not all of the ppl..i seriously regret saying tj rox last time.. coz it doesnt.. its just a place of evil.. sucky sucky.. evil evil.. sucky evsukil <<< it means evil n sucky... use it in ur compo next time. if ppl ask where that word came from.. say its from me, mei qin.

yap.. neway.. on that fateful day of thurs.. haix.. i had quite a lotta of confidence in dong well for essay coz i did somethihng like tt b4.. the question for promos is " the best edu is outside the classroom." discuss.. some hting like tt.. cant really rmb.. haha.. so we had a half an hour break. went to temasek. when i turned, i saw u right behinbd mi. got a shock but maintained calm n smiled n say hi. den cecilia came.. she SCREAMED my stuopid name.. so sia suay. so i act normal ask he wat she wants.. she said she wanted ifsh burger so i bought for her.. haix.. i tyhink he thinks i m a freak. don he? haix. he smiled when i greeted him to say hi. his smile is still so charming n perfect. but it lasted only a split second. hoew i wish i can see that smile daily. bt tts just a fantasy. i want to rtake a foto withu.. but thats just another fantasy. i dun feel like going for prom night. anyway, i dun haf ta help0 out bcoz i paid the $30 . damn ex n the place n staff of the prom night place sux big time. cannot say if not the place sue me. feel like going to wat steamboat den go chiong after that. but dunnu leh./. c first.. c wat the rest say.. m but i m not going back to tat same place to chiong again. it kinda sux.. srry.. cannot say why if nbot kana sued. haha..ok. tats all i go study le.. bye bye

*mUAckx*

haix.. so sucky...

i think all my hair is gonna turn white soon...
i feel that everyone everywhere is so damn bias n wateva.. it suckx!!!!!!!!!!!!!suck suck suck...

wateva.i dun feel like being responsible.. but tings owaesfall on me... sucky sucky.. n theses r not gd ones... they r bad n l;ousy stuff.. i bet i wun b happy in the next two yrs. but.. wateva.. f off..

a stupid sucky teacher

there is a stupid sucky teacher in our mist.. i cant say who .. in case that teacher sees my blog..tt teacher is so damn biased n FAKE! that teacher pretends to be nice to u but actually has an ulteria motive. it was only after i came to tj that i realised tt such a sucker n pathetic teacher existed.
shld not pollute my blog wrting abt tt teacher.

anyways.. i went to swch rather early today to study at the library.. was alone for a while until abt 11 sdumting hui qi came.. hahx..i dunnu if i was productive a not.. haix.. my mind is currently damn saturated with info.. cant seem to get any other thing in anymore. wat to do....??? haix.. my exams r coming in 4 days time...

i feel that there arre many nice ppl in this world. ppl who r willing to go all out to help u.. i feel very touched by them.. the only thing motivating me is not to let those ppl down.. bcoz.. i will feewl really guilty..

i dunnu abt anyone else out there.. but i seriously miss the feeling of being loved by someone. i'm not trying to be desperate or wateva.. its just that it has bgeen such a long time.. anyone has loved mi.. or mayb it nv was love.i'm such a sad case. i envy janice.. she can just go to the library.. n some guy would just strike a conversation with her.. i'm nbot monophobic or watsoeva.. its just pure envy...

because that would nv nv nv ever happen to me.. n i can bet with u, perhaps with all my assets? haha.. i dun haf much assets ne way.. the thing is.. this is a sucky world... at least for me....