haiz.. i'm not supposed to b online now.. but i really cant slp.. i watched finish the vcd liaoz.. haiz. u c? mi living in my fantasies again..
well well, nv got abt dying my hair coz i rebond last wk oni.. so to play safe, beta not lor...
haiz.. i made a sorta promise not to say haiz n sulk on my blog rite? well, sorie, i haf to breAk the promise.. i'm so envious of everybody.. they seem so happy n stuffs lidat.. by right, i'm oso supposed to b even happier coz bdae cuming in a few days liaoz.. but, i'm not.. wil leaving this place for a while help?? or will it make mi feel worse?? i feel so damn sick right now but i cant tell anyone y or wat or wateva abt it.. i cant.. y m i to do? sobx.. i feel like avoiding every single person n just do everyting alone.. i feel like askin everyone not to care abt mi anymore so tt at least, i wun feel cared for n the stupid sad feeling will go away..
i dunnu wat to do.. i just wan the feeling to go away.. probably not many ppl will read mi entries liaoz coz the tings here are getting sadder n sadder, atmosphere getting worse n worse.. haiz.. when will this end? y m i always the one getting hurt n others enjoying fortune?? when will i ever experience **** **** ?? nv?? haha.. dunnu.. its all up to fate..
heres a quote:
To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.
David Viscott

ermm.. haha.. unfortunately, i'm not feeling both sides of the sun la... haha.. nvm.. heex.. mi muz cheer up..!!

wahx.. i'm so tired.. *yawnx*
haha.. couldnt slp the night before.. i dunnu y oso.. still feeling damn energetic. prom nitex was a blast.. other than tt, i dunnu how else to describe le leh..

haiz.. i haf this realli lame n stupid and damned secret kept for so long.. really beri terrible.. dunnu wat to do..
haix.. ppl, u all must really beleve in horoscope.. u may think tt i'm superstitious.. but i tink we all shld heed wat they say.. coz for mi, its always true leh.. haha..
haix.. i dunu wat to do about tt secret.. bie le ze mo jiu zai xing li, shi fen nan shou.. but if say out, then will cause disaster.. wat to dö?? i zhuo you wei nan.. in a dilemma..
sometimes, i just love watching tv serials, esp japanese n korean dramas.. haha.. u noe y?? tts coz they always have happy endings.. they tend to put u away from reality and bring u into paradise.. u noe, as in the kinda effect where everything u wish for comes true.. nice hor?? but the moment press the pause or stop button on your DVD or VCD or casette(if they still haf la) player, reality sets in---- life's not fair..
so my quan gao to all is tt , watch these shows just to escape from reality.. but rmb, once the show ends, u have to face reality back again. c, i'm starting to crap big time sia..!! haha..

i really feel like shouting out loud right now.. but of course, i cant.'. or my neighbours will throw rotten eggs, tomatoes n what not. hahx.. just feel like running away from my problem. i dont wanna face it or wat.. i just wanna live life as the day goes. smiling n smiling n smiling.. hoping tt i can smile my stupid idoitic freaky troubles away.. naive thoughts rite?? haiz..

y cant i be like others?? i just dont get it.. y can i b as fortunate as others?? coz i'm diff?? in wat way diff?? i oso dunnu.. i guess i'll just have to b very very patient till i find the real me... how come after 15+-going-16-in a-few-days years old mi is still going through an identity crisis?? is tt wat u call adolescent?? or just pure ***** wateva tt is..

well well, i gonna dye my hair later today.. haha.. c?? any lame action tryikng to forget problems by dying hair..
but nvm la.. mayb tml might go to sch coz got sjab.. i tink i later gonna call amy n ask her if she wanna go lor.. haha.. dun care le.. i''m goin into sch wif dyed hair.. i'm sick n tired of rules.. sick n tired!! but of course , obviously, i;m still so timid tt i'll haf to abide it.. ai yah.. no one will notice if i dye hair oso mah.. like they gif a damn lidat hor?? haha..
another stup[id worry is JC.. i haf no idea on wat JC to go to.. 12 choices to choose from.. but i dun wnna go a particular sch.. but my agg no gd.. so out are the gd gd top 5 schs.. how??
the rest of the sch i dun like..actually, all of the schs i oso dun like.. so sick.. feel like stopping everyhting n just start workin.. den no nid to face ppl all tt.. den can start life anew..
even beta, i feel like migrating. got away from this stressful country.. everyday muz at least worry 50 times.. anyway, i'm gonna go overseas right adfter my bdae.. haha.. now tinkin of wat bdae wish to make.. i hope my wish comes true.. wateva the wish might be..

ok.. this wun b my last entry i tink.. hahga... later still muz come online to apply fr JC.. arghhhhhh...!!!

elox.. i'm back again!!
haha... kina spent the day watching tv again.. very tired, so dont feel like goin outx lor..
haix.. i feel like i nv do enough for prom leh.. tink i will look beri extra in the prom leh..
haiz.. how? how?? how?? u tell mi how??!! ??!! arghh.. haix.. i dunnu how to improve le leh.. teach mi!!!!!!

yox yox.. its another day at home today..
my parents are currently buffering the floor .. haha.. i 'm not helping.. well .. coz they will say yue bang yue mang rite??
actually, just now i help them spray the detergent on the floor liaoz. the liquid was so damn powerful and corrsive.. therewas this feeling on my hand.. sorta lkike a burning sensation.. haha.. btw, my skin ultra sensitive.. so i think beta not help.
well, i'm knda looking forward to prom nitex tml.. i wonder how everyone will look.. haha.. i'm not wearing something beri glamorous tt everyone will look when i step in.. haha.. but hopefully, wun loook too orbit ba..
hee
hmmx.. wat else huh?? i tink nutin to say le.. oh ya.. i die liaoz la.. mayb kana infulenbce too much !! now keep watching VCDs ar..!! milene.. u die liaoz.. i gonna kill u!!

ok ok.. i guess i was extremely paranoid in my recent entry
haha.. ai yoh.. muz scold miself.. "cannot lidat ar..!! ai yoh.. life is short leh!! must enjoy k?? dun bcoz of some small stupid thing den lidat hor!!"
hee. ok.. scolded enough.
haha.. i just went to the gym at 8pm just now straight after watching holland v.. haha.. ow very tired after the work out..
during the workout, i thought about many things.. thought about life, school, blahx.. haha.. haha.. rather dramatic hor?? but nvm la.. anyway, i tink i kinda xiang tong le.. i noe la.. i owaes say tt.. but this time, i tink i realli xiang tong le.. wat milene wrote in mi auytograph is rather true too.. i must get on wif life.. hehe.. ok ok la.. staring to crap liaox.. now watching "r u hot? " later i wanna watch the hong dou nu zi lian VCD.. haha.. milene was right man.. the show damn nice.. i watched 6 VCDs consecutively for the 1st time in my entirte life.. of course larx.. cant beat ,milene, the tv queen..!hehe..
ok.. wat esle to say? i guyess not much le.. hee.. okie.. nitex nitex!! slp tite!! muackx to the entire world!!

hahx.. i just came back from school after taking the report book, PAE booklet n testimonial.. haha.. the testimonial mr rod. wrote for everyone almost same smale one leh.. sobx sobx.. i tot it would b diff from everyone.. hahiz.. but i guess nvm la..lucky no bad comments or wat..
so today, we celebrated mr rod n sharon's bday.. haha.. den got cake to eat.. so i forgot about mi dieting plan momentarily.. haha.. nvm la.. once in a while mah..
tokin about dieting, i also forgot about my dieting plan yesterday. i went to tony roma's with my parents to eat.. the chicken was so damn big.. i couldnt finsih.. so we left it there lor...
well well, let mi tok about prom now.. i bought my prom dress le.. i spend a total of $212.60 on all the items excluding my bag coz yan pin gonna lend mi mahx.. mi shoes cost $29 which i consider beri cheap.. although the heels are not of my desired height.. haha.. but still, it fits perfectly with my entire prom dress ba..
haix.. no prom date sia... haha.. nvm la.. i tink i gonna go there alone lor.. eh.. wait? ai yoh.. i shld look intoi the mirror n c the reflection.. so ugly.. of course wun haf prom date la!! haix.. now trying very very hard to console myself.. i tink lotsa pp will b going wif dates.. haha.. den mi? i have to step into the ballroom of oriental hotel alone... =~(
sounds very ke lian rite?? haizx.. wat to do?? haf to go alone. ppl dont wan means dont wan mah.. cant force them one.. hee.. wat crap i'm tokin?? nvm la.. no one will undertsnad la..
haix.. anyway, wat else shld i say?? i went to read many other ppl's blogs.. some of them are like mi, also sulking about life n stuff.. i guess we're probably in the same boat.. but i tink mine is trying beri hard to keep afloat.. haha.. i'm cheering up faster n faster( eh.. dunnu how to say la).. but still rite, the hole in ya heart will reamin until sumone comes along to seal it up for u rite??
well well, at least i'm glad tt i'm not the onio one feeling so lost.. n thrown apart or weateva.. haha..
i just went to my aunt's house to borrow some VCDs to watch,, actually is not some la.. about 10 different jap n korean serials.. dun tink can watch finish.. she oso gave mi $$.. hee.. eta not reveal how much.. hee.. but tts for mi bdae.. oh ya.. mi bdae cumin soon.. hopefully got present n will haf ppl pei mi celebraste.. i dun wish to celebrate bday alone...

yox... today is a rather fateful day.. haha.. not gonna gif much info about wat happen la..
anyway, i bought my prom dress liaox... kinda ok la.. cost mi $89 ... i saw this $199 one.. its so damn god chio... but.. no /$$$ sobx sobx...

gd morning! woke up earlier than yesterday.. hehe.. later gonna go wif joane to orchard n bugis to find prom clothes..haha.. muz wish mi luck to find sumting suitable for mi k??
hmmz.. now now, i haf no idea wat to write le.. so i tink i shall find a quote n paste it here.. wait hor..

quote of the day
The secret of happiness is to make others believe they are the cause of it.
Al Batt, in National Enquirer

yox! had a rather long day today!!
haha.. i woke up at 1045 am.. haha.. the latest eversince prelims leh!! hehe.. well, then i realised that i was supposed to meet yan pin so she could show mi the pictures she had taken during her prom night quite long ago. as usual, she was stunning. haha.. anyway, she assured mi that there would b clothes that i can wear for my height. but hor, i still not very assured worx.. coz today milene msg mi. she said that she had bought her prom dress already. however, hers need alterations.. if she so tall need alterations, wat about mi?
hahx. anyway, i went to bugis to do my hair with my mum today. haha. she went for a new hairstyle, perming her hair in the process.. hee.. looks rather not bad for her ba.. at least beta than before.. hehe.. =x
well, anyway, i juz remebered i haven load the fotos taken during the seoul garden treayt.. i beta go load into my gallery..

yeah!! finally finally finaly!! after slogging for soooooooooooo damn long!! THE O LVLS ARE FINALLY OVER!!! woo hoo!!!!
haha haha.. i cant stop smiling!! i guess u wun understand the kinda happiness i feel roite now!! ahha.. muahahahahahaha!!! its finally over!!
okok. i tink i shld stop saying its over la hor.. hee.. got some other students haven finish their exams yet.. so if we r too happy, i guessthey wun b too happi.
hee.. later going to taka seoul garden.. miss koh n mrs teo r treating us.
at first say wanna go watch movie wan.. den in the end nv go coz i tink milenbe not feeling well ba..
haha.. so rite after school i went wif joanne to heartland makll toi buy sum tings.. den after tt went to her hse.. haha.. damn chio sia.. beri well decorated.. unlike my hse..
haha.. ne way.. i mayb later might bring camera.. c first la.. c mi xing qing ru he..
hehe.. so so nownow.. wat to type huh?? hmmz.. let mi go search search for a nice nice quote k?? wait ar..

quote of the day
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

yox! afternoon! haha.. tml is geography exam n yet, i'm slacking away on my computer.. haha.. tink i'm gonna do badly in my humanities liao...
ne way, hahx.. i read my blog entry again n found myslef rather stupid. haha.. i shld indeed go to the prom.. haha.. y shld i waste mi $50 ?? rite>? shld go there enjoy yaself mahx.. haha.. i juz read vincent's msg in the guestbk, hah.,.. guess his sch already had their prom ba..
yan pin 's sch oso had their prom already.. cant wait until this wednesday when she shows mi the fotos.. hee.. n cant wait until this saturday where she will pei mi go buy tings.. hehe..
well well, die ar.. its supposed to b exam time, but i'm already in a holiday mood.. how?? haha.. i tink corrine was right.. she told mi tt by tis time, everyone taking o lvls will not b so stressed out le.. i tink its partially because we take exam take until numb le.. haha..
hmmz.. oh ya.. my dad bought a digital camera yesterday. quality not tt gd worx.. but after a while, i found it ok.. i'm tinkin of bringin it to this tuesday's mrs teo's treat to take photos coz not all of my classmates are going to the prom nitex.. on the other hand, i might juz bring the other camera.. wat do u call tt kinda camera in which u put the film one? haha.. or do we juz call it a camera?? haha.. i'm currently brain dead.
haiz.. friendly is injured again.. for those of u hu dunnu hu she is, well, she's a stray cat which i haf taken care since pri sch.. haiz.. i dunnu how she got tt injury.. she muz haf fought wif other cats again.. haiz.. anyone noe how i can help her cure her injury? i may b a first aider, but when it sums to cats.. i noe nuts!! i cant take her to a vet, coz my parents wun allow..
oh ya.. i tink friendly is very afriad of my father.. everytime she sees him, she will stare at him like he is one big monster.. haiz.. i tink its because heeverytime scare her.. i dun c any reason y he should do tt.. back in my grandma's house in m'sia, he treats the kitties there so well, den y does he haf to b so prejudiced against friendly? juz coz she's a stray?? tts not beri ncie.. tt's like being racist liaoz worx!!
ok la.. i tink i crapped enough already.. beta go back n study for stupid boring geography..!!! arghh..

nice song... haha..
it plays in ya head.. u shlg go dwld it


So tight, so fly
You got me lifted, you got me lifted

[Frankie J.]
You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling
And ooh wee it’s the ultimate feeling
You got me lifted feeling so gifted
Sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?

[Baby Bash]
You know its leather when we ride
Wood grain and raw hide
Doing what we do, watching screens getting high
Gurl you keep it so fly with you sweet hunnybuns
You was there when the money was gone
You’ll be there when the money comes
Off top I can’t lie I love to get blowed
You my lil’sugar, I’m yo little chulo
And every time we kick it it’s off to the groovy
Treat you like my sticky ickey or my sweet oowy goowy (fa real though)

[Frankie J.]
You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling
And ooh wee it’s the ultimate feeling
You got me lifted feeling so gifted
Sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?

[Baby Bash]
Now I ain’t worried about a thang cause I just hit me a lick
I got a fat sack and a superfly chick
There ain't nothing you can say to a playa
Cause doowop, she fly like the planes in the air
That’s right she’s full grown settin the wrong tone
Im diggin the energy and im lovin the o-zone
So fly like a dove so fly like a raven
Quick to politic with some fly conversation
In a natural mood then im a natural dude
And we some natural fools blowin out by the pool
She like my sexy-cool mama with blades on her berata
Rockin' Dolce Gabbana(sp?) with high-drows and a igwana

[Frankie J.]
You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling
And ooh wee it’s the ultimate feeling
You got me lifted feeling so gifted
Sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?

[BRIGE]
You know its leather when we ride
Wood grain and raw hide
Doing what we do, watching screens getting high
Gurl you keep it so fly with you sweet hunnybuns
You was there when the money was gone
You’ll be there when the money comes

You know its leather when we ride
Wood grain and raw hide
Doing what we do, watching screens getting high
Gurl you keep it so fly with you sweet hunnybuns
You was there when the money was gone
You’ll be there when the money comes (fa real though)

[Frankie J.]
You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling
And ooh wee it’s the ultimate feeling
You got me lifted feeling so gifted
Sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?

So high like I’m a star
Feelin so high like I’m a star
Feelin so high like I’m a star
Feelin so high like I’m a star

You are Jasmine from Aladdin!


What Disney Princess are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

gd afternoon.. its such a boring day. i'm supposed to b sitting on the chair in my room and studying.. instead, i'm sitting on another chair in another room, using to computer.. hahx.. i know i'm wasting precious time, but somehow, no mood to study lehx.. summore, i HATE geography.. how? no interest, cant study one.. chamx sia.. i hope tt my humanities will not get b3 n below.. tt time prelim got 70 oni .. haiz.. this proves how lousy i m at humanities.
well, i'm feeling kinda bored and lonely right now. no one at home, as usual. my parents have gone to m'sia.. haiz.. leaving mi at hm.. now muz study, oso cant go out worx.. sobx..
hahx.. anyway, i wonder after my o lvls i will b slacking at home or bz going out.. ahhx.. i tink it'll b the former. coz i tink everyone will b bz buying their prom stuffs n no one will wanna go out wif mi oso..haiz..
but i wanna go outx leh.. sobx sobx.. nvm la.. wat to do? i muz accept mi fate mah.. no one wanna go out wif u.. haha.. cannot force them one.. hee.. muz tink tve..
well well, i wonder how will prom be like.. will it be as formal as i tot it will b ? or will it b juz another school event where i will, as usual, b in the background?
u know, being a common saggitarius, i really hate being in the background. but , wat to do? juz hope tt tt nitex i will enjoy myself. but, oso no one to go to prom nitex wif worx.. hu noes, mayb in the end, i might decide not to go at all worx..
prom's the nite when the popular gain even more attention n when the outcast are sunk deeper into the background. i tink i'm sumwhere in the middle again, so i'm juz a wandering soul.. sianz 1/2.. haha.. mi not trying to sopund sad.. i read the entyr i typed above again., haha.. the tone like beri sad leh.. but i'm not trying to get at anyting la..
well well, life's like tt leh.. when u r chio, everyone likes u u r in the centre of attention.. but when u're an ugly duckling, no one seriously gives a damn abt u.. so xian shi hor??
haiz.. ne way, i tink i'm looking beri beri beri forward to my trip overseas!! hehe.. can visit so many places.. my parents are tinkin of extending the paris stay for longer so we can go there shop shop!! =) hehe
well, if u wan any souvenir or wa5t, feel free to tell mi k? hehe i'm more than willing to get sumting for u.
hahx.. but i will still b buying souvenirs for mi frenx la.. n also, yp's , milene's, sarine's, freddy's, charmaine's, hawa's , amy's birthday pressie , hmmz.. hu else ar?? hah.. i better write down on a piece of paper before i go on the trip.. haha.. so many tings to buy worx.. but nvm la.. i like to share happiness ard.. hehe
hmmz.. dunnu wat to say le.. mayb at nite will online!buaiz

yoz yoz yoz!! 4 more days to the end of o lvls!!! yipeee!!! hehe.. i cant wait till 18 th nov.. now after chemistry decided to cum online for a while to slack slack. but hor, i feel tt i've been slacking a lot these few days, not as hard working as i was during prelim.. how ar??? ne ways, i guess the only ting on everyone's mind now is prom nitex.. haha.. so i tink everyone tinkin the same oso lor..
dun haf any clothes to wear,, but next sat meeting yp to go wif mi buy.. wahx.. i realised i dun understand a single word i'm typing. seems like after english exam my english drop like nmad le .. hah.. but heck care la.. wait until go jc then say..
heex.. tokin abt jc, i really wish to go tjc leh.. bvut i dun tink i can make it..
i really dun wanna go ajc.. for several reasons or shld i say, too many to name. i've owaes held a grudge towards it, however, i haf no idea wat kinda grudge.
i guess tt time i went there for elementz den i c there like a bit old like tt ba..
haha
actually, come to tink about it, i tink its a gd sch.. heard from amy the people tehre are nice n got shuai ges..
haha.. but i realli dun wish to go.. coz i noe a lotta xms ppl goin..
haiz.. i realli hope tjc will accept.. coz i heard tt they oni accept 8 ... haiz haiz haiz.. ne way, wats done done.. so i guess juz haf to wait ba..
wat to say now huh? haha..
oh ya.. i've learnt to live life happily liaoz.. i tink its a waste of time feeling sad n stuff .. u oni live once.. we r not cats wif 9 lives... i tink instead of feeling tt u r unwanted n lonely or watvea, we should go out n make more frenz n learn more tings!! ne way, wats the use of harping on the past? haha.. its not like the past had many glorious moments like tt... ahha.. my fav time in xms is still sec 2./. hehe.. i'm reealli amazed at how i manged my time the other time. hehe.. got lao jiu, cheerleading, elementz, etc... wah.. siao siao sia..
i tink i'm the kind hu need tings to keep mi bz one..
haha
ok la.. i shall stop here.. go orh orh liaoz.. hehe