yoz ppl.. haiz... mi beri long nv online update bloggie liaoz... so sorry... coz the teachers give so much homework that there isnt anytime to take a breather.
anyway, life is still beri beri miserable for me.. whenever i m alone. i just cry.. haiz.. dunnu y.. one day.. i'm gonna cry my eyes out..
anyway, many things happened in class today.. haiz.. y our class so sway???
haiz... just got our examination timetabl;es... sux man.. the subjects all scattered everywhere.,... dunnu how i'm gonna study.....

heyx.. oni can stay online for a while coz my internet left a few hours only.. friendly finally ate and meowed.. haha.. that was only after i gave her fancy feast (soft cat food) to her. i think she has a toothache and cannot meow and bite or something.well, wateva.. anyway, she's getting better already.i just hopes she gets well soon n return to her normal self.. so now i'm trying ways just so that she will be healthy again. i wanted to take her to a vet, however, i changed my mind. coz she's getting better le.. so let's just c her condition a few days later and hope that everything turns out well.
u know, when i read the papers today, they were tokin about the operation on the iranian twins(if i not wrong.. either today or yesterday) well, its over liaoz.. n everyone's sad about it. so why should some of these doctors continue criticising about the way our spore doctors operate? if they are so good, then why dont they try it themselves? well, let's not tok about this anymore.. its a sad year for spore.
i've got some meaningful sentences...
If you love me like you told me please be careful with my heart you can
take it; just don't break it or my world will fall apart ...
*You can fall from the sky* *You can fall from a tree* *But the best way to
fall* *Is in love with me* ...
If You Luv Me... Let Me Know... If You Don't... Then Let Me Go...
A KISS BLOWN IS A KISS WASTED THE ONLY REALLY KINDA KISS IS A KISS TASTED ...
Everyone says you only fall in love once but that's not true, every time I
hear your voice I fall in love all over again ..
well well.. meaningful they sound, but some of them are not realistic.. haha.. not tt i mean it in a sarcastic way, but .. all these stuff.. will never happen to me..
ya ya.. i can dream about it.. but.. in the end, when i wake up, i will only realise that it is but a dream..
ok.. i'm tokin rubbish.. but its not like anyone cares rite?

milene.. i hope u c this msg i post.. i tried to upload ya pic lehx.. but i encountered some errors while uploading.. so i wil try sometime later maby tonite or wat la.. worse cum to worse, i send to u via msn lorx.. kk? sorie horx.. dun worry.. ya neocard is not crumpled!!

halo... gd evening.. i juz dropped by a while to help milene scan her pic.. i tink i m starting to recover as the days go by and starting to accept that many many things have changed.. however, i'm not sure if they've changed for the better or for worse.. anyway, i cant do anything about it if its for worse rite? hahx.. muz take things as they come lor..

heyx... today is one of the happier moments of my sad life.. haha!! ok la.. i tink i cheering up a bit liaoz.. although there is still a sad feeling deep down my heart.
anyway, guess wat? friendly is BACK!!! my dad told me that yesterday at around 9 sumting at night.immediately, i rushed down to look for her and saw her curling up in a corner.. she seemed so frail and thin.. it was as if she had no eaten for a long time.. i went forward to her to stroke her and she reacted by rubbing my leg.. hee.. cats like to do tt as a sign of affection. anyway, i fed her wif friskies and water but she did not want to eat.. i really dun understand y.. mayb she had eaten already or did she have no appetite?? all she did was to rub my legs and look at me... she did not even say a single 'meow'.. why? was she too weak to meow?? she's making me really worried.. as i have not seen her for a week, i broke into tears the moment i saw her.. it was really uncontrollable.. in the end, i got scolded by my mum for crying over a cat.. ( there's nutin wrong in crying for a cat rite?) well, my dad rushed me back up to my house coz he said it was getting late.. at that moment, i had a temptation to bring friendly back home.. i wanted to keep her.. so tt i can take care of her so that she will not come to any harm..but.. i noe tts not allowed.. haiz.. so in the end, i left the place reluctantly..
friendly did not come up to my house this morning for breakfast.. was she too sick or weak to climb the stairs? too weak to walk the distance to my house? haiz.. i went to look for her upon reaching my neighbourhood.. she was no where to be found.. friendly, i really thank the gods for bringing u back to me... so dont go away again.. dun lose yaself in the neighbourhood again.. i realli hope u remain safe and sound...
ok..got back one of our bio test (dunnu when take one.. long long time ago i guess) and our ss mock.. the bio test results was gd.. hehe.. nv expected such results.. it was probably one of the highest i had obtained among my sec four test.. hehe.. so happy!! haha.. the test was on sexual reproduction.. ok ok. i noe wat u r tinkin abt now.. i'm still an innocent and pure little gal okie?? hehe..
well, as for my ss mock, it wasnt just as good.. haha.. but i'm rather ok with the results la..
btw, todayis my mum's bday!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!!! i went to heartland mall straight from school to buy a mango cake for her.. wanted to buy a fruit cake... but, cant find leh.. den i walked all the way to emicakes to buy a mango cake. hope it tastes nice.ee hehe.. btw , my mum prepared steam book today!! woo hooo!! so happy.. ok ok.. she call me go eat eat liaoz... bye bye!!!!

eloz... i feel much much better today than the past few days.. however, the depressed feeling is still lingering around me. i guess i'll never be able to get rid of it. haiz.. i dont understand why .. even when i'm bz with something, these thoughts just wander into my mind.. the feeling of loneliness, and everyting.. i've just lost 2 things in my life.. n i guess it'll never be complete again..
how long more will i have to go through all these silent sufferings all by myself..?? when will i recover? i really wish to knwo the answers...
i have only completed 9 chapters of bio.. haiz.,. still have so many to conquer.. i dont think i will get a chance to online later.. so i better faster enjoy n rest den later go n chiong all the chapters in a single breath.. haha.. no tt i can do it..

eloz... just came in a while for a little break from bio.. haiz.. so many damn chapters to study.. how to complete? i still got pwd haven do leh!!! haiz...
sianz ar.. my life really sux.. anyone has any way to improve a life that has no meaning to it?? well.. if u have, pls do tell me.. i'm seriously in need of help.. SOS!!

hee.. i added sum pics of 4e1 in my gallery.. hee.. kinda 'stole' them from blogs...

i'm online again.. but only for a while as i'm going to buy dinner after i go offline.. it maybe too early to have dinner but i dont wanna wait until later coz later got show.. wait.. y m i saying all these crap? haiz.. actually, my purpose of soming online now is because i wanna get something off my chest.
well, i did what i wanted to do.. or should i say.. what i was supposed to do.i know deep down that there is no other way to end all my sufferings.. perhaps i will suffer for a while after today.. but it might probably benefit me in the long run.mayb i'm being selfish, but do u know that there are worst people out there? i keep wondering whether i have done the right thing by sending thoses long msges.. my brain tells me its the only way out.. but my heart is starting to regret. the confusion between my brain and heart is causing an occasional acute and sour pain in my heart. "i'll probably get over it after a few days" , i tell myself.. but in actual fact.. will i? i wish i had the power to read people's mind.. so that i did not have to keep on guessing.. i wish i had the power to predict the future... so tt i would not have to try my fate.. i wish.. i wish..
sometimes, when u r sad inside, u still have to act that u r happy to please people.. thats the thing i hate to do most.. but i have to.. do i have a choice?

heyx ppl.. i just came home from school. i just had my MT o lvl listening examination.hee.. it was pretty good coz i compared answers with my friends and most of us had the same answers.. hee.. then later i heard that some classmates went to ask mrs fong the asnwers and it was exactly the same as mine.. yeah!! hopefully i can get full marks for that.
well well, the moment i reached home, i felt a slight giddiness .. perhaps its my way of feeling replieved that the chinese o lvls are over.
friendly is still no where to be seen.. where could she be?? i want her back in my life or i'll nv be able to concentrate on my studies.anyway, other than friendly, i found a way to solve my the other problem wich has been 'irritating' me for the past few weeks.. i decided to end my suffering.. i have had enough.. no point to make something that's not yours, yours... i've learnt to accept things(hopefully) but... FRIENDLY!! I STILL NEED U BACK !!! WHERE R U??????
well.. this is life i guess... there will be much more obstacles to overcome.. but i'm really tired.. mentally and physically.. will a miracle happen? i hope so.. i dont think there is anyone in my life who will ever make me feel truly blessed again..

well.. i'm back online again but i'm not gonna stay for long.. i think i better start studying my bio or i would not have enough time.
however, there is two things on my mind right now n i cannot erase the thoughts of it.. well.. i wouldnt really say what they are but i just keep on staring at my hp... willing it to send me a msg.. but to no avail.. even if there was, it wouldnt be the msg i wanted.why.. must my life be so bad and terrible? or have i made some wrong decisions which lead me to the stage i am today.i dont know.. all i can do is ponder...
i cant erase another thought out of my mind.. its friendly,my cat.. most of u will probably think i'm being stupid or lame.. but if u were me, u will understand how i feel right now.. i haven seen her since monday n i really want to know where she has gone.. have she been caught by the AVA and taken to cull? or has something bad happened to her? these questions keep running in my mind.. i try not to think to much.. but to no avail. i have taken care of her for so long.. but yet, she's gone in a flash.. i really need her with me.. to share my sorrow and happiness.. but where has she gone? i need to search for her.. but where do i start from?
i cant control the tears that well up in my eyes whenever i think of her and thats also why i need her.. have i taken her for granted? taken for granted that she would be at my doorstep every morning and night? taken for granted that i will see her somewhere near my neighbourhood whenever i return home from school in the afternoon? taken for granted that she will always be with me? NO.. i haven.. so why m i treated this way? why? why? why? why? why? WHY??? why did she have to leave me at such a crucial time in my life?why??!!!!
no one can ever understand how i feel in my heart.. many will think that i am such a lame ass..but if it were your pet, how would u feel? friendly: pls come back to me...

Cameron Diaz, People don't give you as much credit
as they should. Your a born leader and you can
shake booty in spidey tighty-wighties without a
care.


Which Charlie's Angel are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

hi... today is our schoold's food n fun fair day n also sjab day... things went rather smooth n perfect the entire day.
i woke up at 5 am this morning to prepare myself for st john's day.. on the way to school, i started praying that i would not faint and embarrass myself during the parade.when i reached the interchange, i only saw amy and hawa.. den i found out that charmaine and liang chou were not meeting us already.
well, the parade went on rather smoothly with liang chou as the parade commander.. wow.. he shouted really loud.. hee.. cool.. now i undertstand y mdm irene tan preferred to have a guy commander instead of a female one.. this will also show that sjab is not for gu niangs..!! =) after that, we proceeded back to our classes for our lessons..i thought that we were going to get back our ss mock exams, but we didnt.. the papers were still with mr lim.aniway, after ss was mt lesson. mrs fong felt that although our mt exams were over, we still had to practise chinese.. well, i always enjoyed her lessons.. so nvm lorx..
during bio lesson, mr rodrigues allowed us to use the periods for preparation og hm cumin day.. isnt he gd? hee.. when we went down to the canteen to set up our stall, we realised that the whole place was so damn crowded.. people elbowing thier way throught the crowd and the whole place was packed like sardine.. i had a lot of trouble squeezing my way through and i felt so relieved when i finally got out of that crowd.. haha
during the hm cuming, i saw lots of old students coming back.. ( i tot not allowed?! ).. our class had a rather rocky start as the power supply was kinda cut off so we could not deep fry our sausage rolls.. however, heaven was by our side and we soon recovered from it and started our sell of french fries and sausage rolls.towards the end of the food and fun fair, everyone was still as energetic and teck wee came back with more supplies of hot dogs, bread, cheese, etc.. everyone was so excited that all of the gals started to make the hot dog rolls again.. however, i must admit that we were rather unhygienic as we used our hands to wrap them .. haha.. we juz did, did, n did.. continously.. haha.. everyone was truly filled with excitement.. anyway, at the end of the hm cumoing day, the money was counted and we had $400 ++ ..!! cool rite? well, e5 had $1000 plus (or so i heard).. but i heard that mr sharma forked out $500 plus leh.. ai yah.. dunnu la.. we shouldnt criticise other classes.
we ended the day with a few cheers , with a cheer for mr rodrigues first den for our class. we cheered for e5.. but they booed us.. dunnu y... they still scold us losers sia.. not beri nice leh...anyway, i think this will be one of my most memorable years in xinmin.. hehe.. say until like beri dramatic rite?
k la.. type too much le.. i go sign 4e1's bloggie le... bye bye!!!!

heyx... i just came home. wanted to stay back in school to help out with the home coming preparations.. but i realised that i have tuition later!! haiz! now i feel so bad for not he;lping out... =( reali sorie...
aniway, i just had my mt o lvl oral examination. i was the first person from the m109 grp.. haiz.. mr ng did not take my group.. so sad leh..or else mayb can score better coz at least u know that person then u wouldnt have felt so nervous.
haiz.. yesterday was a sad day.. i ever felt that way before n yesterday, i felt it again.. Why?? wHy?? why did tt sad feeling have to come back to me again??? i really do nbot understand why..'
Actually, not the entire day was a sad day.. photo taking with my class was really fun n i could feel that the whole class was so united.. haiz.. but after photo taking, the 'nightmare'began..
i still remember i had tt stupid feeling while i was in primary school.. i looked like a CAMEL and my frenz kinda left me out for a period of time. i could not undersatnd why.. i searched for an answer for a long time but could not come up with one.. finally, i decided to forget about it and try to improve myself instead. i knew that the same thing would not happen again when i go to secondary school.
however, the same stupid feeling happened again n this time is not with friends. all my friends are cool.. no one treats anyone unqually.. however, biasness n prejudice stops there in scool. when it comes to cca, studies and everything, i start feeling demoralised again.its not that i want to feel that but sometimes, the seniors just show it..
if u think i do not have the ability, u might as well not promote me and encourage me further when all you have in mind is that i'm just a stupid IDIOT weakling!!!!!!!!!!!!
come on man.. i felt that once before csm course.. many thought that i did not have the mental and physical ability to pass it.. but guess wat? i still passed the course rite???!!
i'm not trying to criticise anyone here coz í know that no one is at fault here.. perhaps its my lack of confidence that made me feel that way. but wat i would like everyone to know is that... pls... pls... do not UNDERESTIMATE anyone's ability k?i see many pootential leaders out there but sometimes, they r not recognised at all..
ok.. i guess i have said enough le... the entry sounds rather paranoid i guess.. hee.. well.. but thats not the only thing on my mind..
have u ever felt unloved? felt that no one was there to care for u? felt that no one loves u anymore? felt that u were no longer the same person in other's eyes?? well.. i have... n the feeling sux.. trust me...