Needed Some Green in My Life

I'm not one for winter, especially living in an urban city. I would rather enjoy winter back home in my dad's small town. Generally, I have been missing seeing green leaves on trees. What happens in Seoul in the winter is that the various shades of concrete on the sidewalk and the stoney grey on the buildings stand out. Ok, it's not that dreary! But in retrospect summer and spring are probably more scenic in Korea, than winter.

So I headed online to a street view website and traveled virtually around the countryside of Korea seeking inspiration. I found this rice paddy field with a dirt road in the corner. I have to say painting a green scene definitely helped perk up my winter blues.

Fresh air with the kiddos: Field trip to the Korea National Arboretum

Some wonderful Fall foliage pics here to share with you as I talk about my final field trip for this semester. The kiddos were sent to the Korea National Arboretum up in Pocheon, which is slightly north of Seoul.

Our day was blessed with little cloud cover, warm air and wonderful colors along the way.

You might be asking yourself, "What is an arboretum, that sounds familiar?" Well this is likened to a collection of trees, so in essence this park was a tree-park. What does every tree park need? A museum to enlighten you on the varieties of wood out there and it's many uses, of course!

In one exhibit they reminded viewers the destruction that Japanese occupiers left on the forests here, which was kind of sad. However, the organization of the museum was quite nice and it also had a lovely lingering smell of fresh cut wood.

Also in the museum was a gallery space with shadow boxes full of hand crafted sceneries made from wooden items.

After our stint around the museum we headed over to a greenhouse for some humid air and to take a look at some greenery.

The most of this trip was spent wandering through the many paths admiring the changing colors in the leaves, and mostly for me taking in the fresh forest smell.

In fact the fresh air and Fall foliage reminded me of my small-town home back in California, so I became a bit homesick and nostalgic at the same time. But the kids constantly kicked me into remembering where I was, and Fall in Korea is certainly a special time.

We enjoyed lunch in a opening under the trees, where unfortunately bees also had a good time checking out what we brought.

For the final leg of our trip we walked up a trail admiring the forest once more, before heading back to the busses.

Now is the peak time for fall foliage it seems, as the trees are in full bursts of color. I can't help but think by the end of next week the trees might look like sticks, and winter will be around the corner. Time surely does fly!

Tonsillitis is not a friend

I'm home sick with Tonsillitus and swollen lymph nodes. I've had sore throats before but this takes the cake. Also I hate being home sick from work, as that is really taboo in Korea. Thankfully it was just my high levels today and not the 6 classes set up. Also I have work for the kids to do in my place. 

I hope to rest up and medicate so that I can return to work tomorrow. I might teach without speaking...how that works exactly I'll figure out. Maybe make Powerpoints with instructions on it. Fun! 

But really, my throat aches, my ear feels like someone is trying to bash it in and swallowing leaves something to be desired. On top of that I don't have any chicken soup in the house or the ingredients to make it, so I'm going to scramble my resources and see if I can find something outside later. 

Don't get sick people!

Thanks Giving

Whatever the holiday means to us Americans, it should be a day celebrated around the world for being grateful. From the last Thanksgiving and to this one, a lot has transpired in my life. I have a stable job here in Korea, but lost my relationship with someone I had been with for two years.

Yet, I am still grateful for all I have. My warm Tom to cuddle with at night, and the blessings of a family that live far away.

As the holidays approach, being far from family lets you remember that you are out here alone. Therefore, I am grateful for the friends I have here whether we keep in constant contact or just pass each other by on the land of Facebook. In addition, I am thankful for you, my readers who still come and read the blabberings that I post...thank you.

What are you grateful for this year?

My "Ten Years Later" 9/11 Post

You might be already a little sick of the news generating article after article about the ten year anniversary over the events on 9/11/2011. But for me this year's anniversary feels more potent. I can't help but think about all that has transpired in my life and the world within the last ten years.

The New York Times have done an exceptional job of organizing this year's memorial. One feature, where you can listen to a collection of tapes recorded by the aviation officials before and after the crashes, has really struck me hard. I highly recommend you listen to this but not before you go to bed, as I didn't sleep too well last night. The recordings include a stewardess on Flight 11 as she was calling for help after the hijackers took control of the plane. What struck me the most was hearing the air in the background, that kind of fuzzy buzz that your hear while on the plane. I couldn't help but feel like I was there and knowing the doom ahead how horrible it all was. But the tapes also reveal how really sloppy officials handled this, as if they weren't prepared or just couldn't do anything anyways.

In general I feel America for the most part was generally asleep before 9/11/2011 and afterwards awoke to the reality that they are apart of the world, and not everybody likes us.

Another feature on the New York Times site is one that shows objects people have kept or collected since the event. Accompanying a picture of the object is the person's story about how it came into their possession. A piece of scrap metal they picked up that day or the shoes they were wearing.

Despite it being 10 years later I still find myself marveling over the event in how people reacted at the site and how it was able to happen. Certainly, I wish peace would envelope the world and no country would suffer from attacks. So it is on this anniversary I hope we can all sit back and see how this event has affected us and how it can move us to make a better world.

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All This Idling Time

You finish work and you go home. What do you do? You should go to the gym and exercise. You should study Korean or do some painting.

Mostly what happens to me is that I sit back and think about my past. It's not just homesickness but the feeling that you are getting older and further away from everyone and everything in your past. Then you end up listening to a podcast and hear the following song by Adele. The rainy weather might be affecting me but generally sometimes my life in Korea makes me feel isolated and lonely. Maybe that is why I push so hard to get out on the weekend and why I am always reading other folk's blogs.

The truth is I yearn for my past but want to quickly jump into my future. Ah geez...must try not to get into that whirlpool of self-loathing.

Mom Sent a Package

A while ago my mom sent a package with all sorts of stuff in it for JH and I. She mostly wanted to send him good wishes for his birthday, which was back in April.

Even Tom got in the act...

Last summer I visited my mom and JH got her a Starbucks mug with a Seoul logo on it. So it was fitting that she sent him a Florida Starbucks mug.

It's always fun to get a loving package from back home.

Grasping Time

Today was better as I somehow managed to feel like I was caught up. Reality is I still have a lot of planning to do and basic stuff to get done. I have been realizing lately what it will take to teach the first grade and that I am going to learn a lot of techniques.

Monday the school is going to do a "walk through" around to each classroom to check on our decorations. So we have been pressured in to making two posters for the blank sections of our room. I managed to finish both of mine today, and will have to stay late tomorrow to mount them. Getting this done was really satisfying.

I am getting the house ready for Tom and making sure he will have enough space to roam and play. Already I have a nice (huge) litter box for him and a piece of cat furniture is on its way.

There have been moments during the past few weeks that I have felt homesick. Mostly I feel a huge appreciation for home. However, slowly I can feel my life in Korea taking it's shape once again.

All right, I am going to go rest with Hulu.

Our Precious Homes

This post was inspired by Jennipal's writing on her lamentations of being married and living back in Canada. It made me understand more what I have already come to realize, and that is that our hometowns are precious. This is something I thought of when I experienced "reverse culture shock" the first few weeks being back home.

I came to realize that there is so much which has to go right and be put together to make this tiny dot on the map function. Out here there is still a lot of nature, but that is something you expect from a small town in the mountains. The population is low and this makes for less crowded lines at the supermarket, more open space and generally a friendly community. But the "preciousness" of which I am talking about is really hard to describe. It's that feeling of knowing you are home and at the same time feeling like you can never take it with you. This is because what I call home is a living place that is growing and deconstructing all at the same time. I could take with me pictures or postcards but I can never take the town and it's people.

Living in South Korea I know this feeling very well, because although every little micro city has supermarkets, roads, sidewalks and basically everything that is modern it isn't the same place as what I call home. What I call home exists because the people who do what they do in it make it exist.

Now I hope I haven't blabbered on here too much, and that you are starting to see my point. Jennipal was talking about how her town is boring and she yearns to get out there. But she is just at the beginning of starting a life in Canada with her husband and so can't really pack it all up for a year in a different country.

My suggestion to Jennipal was to treat her surroundings like she would if she were abroad. Figure out what makes Regina unique. I let her know that she could explore her surroundings just in the same way as if she were abroad, because there are people out there who know nothing about it. Just like I know nothing about what the supermarkets or street stalls are like in some place in India, I don't know what they are like in Regina, Canada.

I too can relate to Jennipal, however and feel that without being in a new place and culture there is nothing really to report on. Who wants to know what I bought at the supermarket, which I went to by car and there was no one along the way who pointed at me and said, "foreigner!"

So my advice to anybody who has replanted themselves back in their home country from years of travel or living abroad is this. Take that same energy and use it as a way to delve into your surroundings and get to know the people and places in your local area. Explore your area with the same passion as you would explore a backstreet in Phuket, Thailand. And if you find it all to be too generic and full of strip malls, well reflect on that and see if you can find some local run-down shack selling canned pickles. You never know!

Dad's Stuffed Peppers

Back to talking about my vacation and the part I spent in California. A lot of my time there was just spent relaxing and unwinding from all the flying and moving about.

For example, I admired the deep clear blue skies and the foliage. Another activity I was fond of was going to supermarkets. Living up in Northern California it is almost like a novelty being surrounded by organic and natural food products. The atmosphere is that of retired hippies and aging hipsters. The following picture is to just show JH the way people park in America.

One evening, while there, I enjoyed a stuffed pepper dinner my dad made. Home cooked meals are always a great treat.

My room was decorated with lovely flowers from my father's and stepmother's garden. *Ooo if you can get into this picture you can see a photo of me from my teen years when I was into rock music.

The following are pictures of the guest room I stayed in, which of course consisted of a great comfortable bed. *The painting on the left is mine, from my Community College days.

:) Sure was comfortable.

Spring Cleaning

You know what I discovered about spring cleaning? That you come across things which remind you of people in your past. For example, I was cleaning out my medicine cabinet, which is very full, and found some tabs that my ex bought. You ask yourself, "Why am I keeping this?" Then you understand that the tabs are for allergies and perhaps you might need it someday.

But then you can't help but go down memory lane of when that occurrence happened. And I think that is what life is about. I mean life is about memories and carrying feelings around and then cleaning your house someday and taking out that memory and letting it go.

It has been just about two years here in Korea and of course I have so many memories, both good and bad. In addition, just because I left my home country doesn't mean all the memories from my time there are far away. So, yea I go through my memories as I sit alone in my house and hash out their meaning then move on.

Spring cleaning is great because you get to clean out the junk in your life. 

Oh, did I mention that this weekend marks my one year anniversary with JH? Well it does! A whole year has gone by since I met him, can you believe it?! But it has been a really good year and one of growth too.

I just hope this one year anniversary doesn't turn out like it did with my ex (check the backlog of my blog to understand).

The weather promises to be wonderful this weekend and so I know it will be a good time. :)

....

Are you spring cleaning? If so, do you too come across sappy memories from your past?

My Home is an Island

I had this dream awhile back (forgive me for those who despise dream posts) that I was visiting a very old relative at their house. Yet the house was like a floating island. It didn't look like a typical island. Islands usually have a mountain in the center with sandy beaches all around them. This island, the one in my dream, was a typical American house with a green lawn around it and even a mail box, but surrounded by calm water. The shape was like an "L" and the house was situated on the long part of the L while the mail box was on the short end. I got there by boat and docked myself near the mailbox.

Although I am not going to go into more detail about the dream, I will say it left a memorable image in my mind. I dream every night and they are always vivid. I am capable of being "awake" in my dreams, which means I can control things. But nowadays I just sit back and watch instead of trying to take control since when I usually do things end up messy.

Anyways, I usually spend a lot of my thinking time either in the morning or before bed time thinking about the images in my dreams. This one of the floating house made me realize how as an adult living abroad in Korea I am in search of my home.

Even if an adult is not living abroad I think they spend a lot of their adult life looking for a place to call home. It doesn't meant that it is a house that they buy or mortgage out and grow a family with. I think it means a place that they feel comfortable living. Or perhaps a place in our minds where we know we have come far enough and will not go any further...basically that we become settled with ourselves.

Now I don't mean to get psycho-trippy here but I just want to reflect on this "elephant in the room" issue in my expat life.

Living in Korea past your first contract year kicks up a lot of life questions, especially when you are in your late 20's. Should I make Korea my permanent home? Should I try to find a way to live back in America? Should I go live in other countries?

I have to say I feel almost like I am settling down here in Korea. Take for example the way my office-tell looks. I assume that most expats living here don't have a lot of stuff in their house. That they wouldn't have a favorable lamp collection, or just things that people have in a home that they keep to make it nice. I would think that an expat lives lightly not buying certain cooking devices or having 4 different winter blankets. What I am saying is that when I come home and enter my place it feels cozy and home-like. Not scattered and spare like it would look if one were a transient.

Having stuff means it is harder to move around, and a lot of my stuff is sentimental, which means it is harder to let go of. Actually I am up against a paradigm, where for example I have boxes of sentimental things back home in my Father's garage.

Yet as settled as I make myself look here in Korea I definitely don't feel like Korea will ever be (close-to-my-heart) home. For several reasons, one when I look outside my window I see Korean style buildings (neon signs plastered onto gray square buildings). Tall apartment buildings clustered together like a micro-city. When walking to and from places I am reminded this isn't home because the people are entirely unlike the people I am familiar with seeing back home. The basics: I'm not Korean, don't speak Korean well and I function unlike a Korean. I don't mean to make this sound negative I just want to point out the obvious stuff.

However, Korea can at times feel like a home. I have a boyfriend who is helpful, cheerful and very loving towards me. Since he is Korean this helps me feel close to the people and culture. I find myself comfortable in my neighborhood and have become familiar with local restaurants and areas.

And the longer I stay here, in Korea, the further I become distanced with my American home. I listen to the current news via NPR, read the New York Times and the New Yorker but still I can't tell you the mood of my country or what is in or out. However, I could answer those questions about Korea. (What Kpop band is currently big, how Koreans feel about national issues...etc).

Yet even as I get closer to my host country I still feel like an outsider. To sum up I am lost somewhere in the middle between my home country and my host country. My home is an island floating somewhere in the midst of these two places. When I think about it deeply I feel that this island is where my home will be forever. And instead of planting it indefinitely on one country's soil it will visit both now and then...going back and forth.

Who knows if this theory will change over time or that I will have a different dream where my home is on top of a mountain. For now I am going to take a shower and go back to the land of dreams.

Homeland Memory: Redwoods

Living far from home there are moments that come to me where I have a strong memory of times spent back in my country.

It is not really a feeling of homesickness but rather this odd mix of acknowledging how far I have come and the places I have been along the way.

Back when I was just starting out in college I moved north 6 hours from my hometown of Nevada City, California. I moved to Eureka California where I attended Community College. Northern California (beyond San Francisco) is known for being full of hippies and leftists. Better imprinted in my memory was the scenery, which was full of lushly dense redwood forests.

During school vacations I drove the 6 hour trip from Eureka to Nevada City in my beater of a car. Actually the first time I went up there my Dad took me. I still recall us driving through the winding steep roads with the tall redwoods hovering over us like forgotten giants. It felt as if we were making a journey through another universe, it was that captivating.

Since memories and feelings are only inside an individual's soul I feel so helpless at trying to express this. Living in a different country you really get to understand what makes your homeland so precious and valuable. It is not like Korea has nothing special to offer it is just when I reflect on the other side (my country) I can't help but long to stand amongst those tall trees and breathe the misty forest air.

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I guess I am just really being sentimental. ~

Home

The rain today turned the snow into an icy slushy mix that made my socks get a little wet. It may also be the cause of my homesickness today. Sure I have been in Korea for nearly 2 years and the pain of being far from home is not as present as it use to be in the beginning. But I still feel this way every now and then.
I like this song and it's a good homesickness remedy... I guess.

Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeroes "Home"

I can't help but miss the small town atmosphere of where my Dad lives or the sunny beaches in Florida. However, I still feel grateful for my life here in Korea even during these times.

Looks Like Christmas Spirit

Feeling jolly this Christmas season but also homesick not just for my family but the festive things that typically go on back there.

Caught side of several Christmas light videos on youtube where folks coordinate it all to a tune. Quite amazing I think and makes me wish I could hop in a car and go Christmas light touring like I use to do.

Anyways, here are a selection of those videos:

Merry Holidays!

Thanksgiving Dinner at Toque's

Last year around Thanksgiving I had just started my job at the Sanbon school and was feeling miserable. I was sick along with recovering from all the stress I went through quitting the hagwon. On top of which relations between me and my exboyfriend weren't so good.

Needless to say getting out to Seoul on a Thursday evening for a Thanksgiving dinner was difficult.

Amazingly, this year I not only was in Seoul but in a position to easily catch a Thanksgiving dinner put on by Toque's.

Last night I met up with JH after he got off of work and we headed over to Hangangjin where Toque's is located.

The special aspect of attending the dinner was teaching JH about the tradition and the stories from my childhood. This was his first Thanksgiving dinner and I think he enjoyed it very much.

We were seated inside near the buffet and we waited as more people were seated. The smells of Thanksgiving were aromatic with the scent of stuffing and gravy looming.

Waiting I think was the hard part since I traditionally starved myself throughout the day.

 

 

Finally everyone arrived and the staff handed out our plates. The style they did the serving in was that you receive your plate with turkey and stuffing on it, then you go over to the buffet to fill up on the other fixings.

• Turkey (white and dark meat)
• Stuffing
• Tuna Casserole
• Green Bean Casserole (my fav)
• Candied yams
• Mashed potatoes
• Broccoli Cheese
• Cranberry Sauce

There was also a section of salads and a mushroom saute. There was also a small dessert table with tiny slices of pumpkin pie and carrot cake along with a selection of fruits. I think they could have pumped up the volume more on the desserts. Maybe not thought of but Thanksgiving desserts are a major part of the meal. Not just pumpkin pie but pecan and rhubarb were always my favorites along with ice cream. Also whip cream was an option but kind of secretive where you had to ask a staff member for it.

All in all, though I will take what I can get. The meal was delicious and the flavors brought me back to America. JH really liked the mashed potatoes and salad. Also it was his first time eating turkey and remarked that it is a very "smooth meat". haha

Yum!!! If you want to catch this again many restaurants will do a version of this for Christmas. So check the interwebs for it. ;)