Mets Fan Knew It All Along

Houston Astros second baseman Kazuo Matsui will undergo surgery to repair an anal fissure on Monday in Houston.

Matsui has struggled with the health problem for much of spring training and was diagnosed with the condition earlier this week. The expected recovery time after the surgery is two weeks...

Matsui was signed in December to take over at second base after Craig Biggio's retirement. He had 37s RBIs and four home runs with a .288 batting average last season for Colorado.

Right now, Felix Pie is thanking the Lord that he isn't Matsui.

We Will Never Forget The Horror Of One Thirty One

In my home town of Philadelphia, we have bombed our own residents, assaulted a drunken and abusive Santa Claus, fired off flare guns at Eagles games, cheered when Michael Irvin appeared to be paralyzed, threw batteries at JD Drew, and booed the very best players for our teams without discretion or sense.

On the other hand, we never went into a million-dollar pants-wetting Fox News Panic over LED signs. Game Over For Infinity.

Congratulations, Boston, for commemorating the first anniversary of One Thirty One, an event that the rest of the nation will remember with fondness, long after your sports teams have faded into obscurity.

Because while there are plenty of teams that will win the big game, there's only one town that welcomed its new Alien Overlords from the Moon. Congratulations!

The Epic Drop: Top 10 Signs That Red Sox Fan Is Losing It

The most tasteless is clearly...

8. Rooting for Jon Lester to get cancer again

To see the rest, make a click...

Top 10 Signs That Red Sox Nation Is Starting To Lose It

10. Heartfelt complaints about Curt "Bloggy McBlogger Mouth" Schilling's inconsistency

9. The unspeakably eerie coincidences to 1978. Did you know Ron Guidry IS NOW THE YANKEE PITCHING COACH? He must be telling them how to make up the deficit!

8. Sudden realization that David Ortiz is suddenly, tragically, fat

7. Sports bloggers are beginning to delight in your misery

6. Conspiracy theories about how Julio Lugo can't get on base since he stopped groping himself

5. This just in -- Jon Papelbon's hurt.

Psych!

Hey, easy there with the knife, Chowd. Maybe you should switch to decaf.

4. Josh Beckett is 9-0. His winning percentage is bound to go down!

3. Terry Francona has never managed a team with this kind of lead before. HE'S GONNA BLOW IT!

2. Manny Ramirez is three days away from his latest trade request

1. No more questions about their Magic Number