Glaze Goals 2024

On New Years Eve, a friend & I took a hike on the Cliff Walk in Scarborough. (Maine, of course.) It was a grey and overcast day, cold but not too - a day that I once would have stayed home & wished for spring. 
I hike in winter now, with the persuasion of a good friend, and I highly recommend it! I don't hate winter anymore, & I've found that if I dress right (layers!) I don't get cold, thanks to the exertion. 

Anyway! The Cliff Walk has a lot of low cliffs (duh) and also a few stone beaches, where we found oyster shells. They have the most amazing color, and a surface like a frosty-matte glaze. I didn't keep this one (leave nothing but footprints, take nothing but memories) but I did snap this photo...I want to see if I can do something like this with glaze. 

More for the fun of solving the puzzle than for my studio work, although who knows? My clay journey has surprised me more than once. I'm thinking RIO & copper carb, brushed on a textured white stoneware under Rhodes 32. 

I hope 2024 brings you joy & the world peace. Happy New Year to all!
 

Review: 23 for 2034

In late 2018, I made a "19 for 2019" list of things I would like to do or habits I would like to acquire in the new year. That went well the first year, less so the 2nd (for REASONS!), and I didn't even try in 2021. I just revisited my list for 2023, and...lol. Some stuff I acheved, some I made progress on, & some I forgot I had even planned to do it! We did get a dishwasher installed - it's awesome & saves me even more time than I thought it would. I do my stationary bike ride nearly every day, I am selling much more online, and I got a time tracker - I average about 11 making hours in the studio a week. Those are some successes, and then there are the items like "learn to use instagram to sell!" & "kayak the Nonesuch" and "get back to writing postcards to voters." Yeah, those didn't happen. Like, at all. Nor did I start cleaning out my car regularly or making clay videos for Patreon. I made a little progress on the attic - called a carpenter, started talking about how much it might cost.

All in all I think the lists help me focus on how I would like my life to be, & help me identify steps to bring the reality closer. So even though I failed dismally at some, the exercise brought about enough positive changes that it's worth doing again. 

Who's with me? (LOL! Like last year, I literally do not know if anyone at all is reading these. I took out the stat counter a couple of years ago, so I may just be shouting into the void.)

Getting My Sh!t Together

This year has been so weird & unlike any other I have lived that it sometimes felt like I was living in the dot of the "i" in Jeremy Bearimy, not in a good way!  I let a lot of things slide in that feeling of unreality & disconnectedness, but this year was real and it is connected...and now I have to sort out everything that I put off, starting with my accounting. 

In 2019 - a year when my sh!t actually was together and my ducks in tidy rows - I started using QuickBooks Self-Employed and was delighted with how easy it made my taxes. Turns out it only helps if you actually keep up with categorizing the transactions - how wacky! And, boyoboy, were my transactions a mess in 2020. Between the shutdown, the unemployment snafu, losing my wallet, and having my laptop stolen, I was just using whatever card was working & available at the moment I needed it. So, yeah. It's a dumpster fire. 

Nevertheless, the arrival of the 2021 art fair applications has jolted me out of the dot of the i. Life is recommencing! I can't just keep us afloat for today & let tomorrow take care of itself. And oh my god, do I need to put out that dumpster fire in my bookkeeping. 

SO, to-do list for today:

1. Apply for the Common Ground Country Fair. It's a more complicated application than most & even has some essay questions. 
2. Work on that QuickBooks Shitshow. Better make a fresh pot of coffee first.
3. Get some glazing done
4. Maybe make more cookies? I have a new design I want to try. 
5. Since life is recommencing, I want to do a thing that worked really well in 2019, and set some intentions: My 21 for 2021. Even though that got laughed out of the universe in 2020, not giving up! 

Brain Fog

I have been suffering from a terrible creative constipation since at least September. I managed to make a few ornaments, class demos, & some pretty nice cookies, but anything requiring real focus - basically all of my normal body of work - has been out of reach for me for months. I keep reading about how chronic stress affects creativity (spoiler alert: BADLY) and boy, does it sound familiar. But then I feel guilty: what have I got to complain about? Other people have been harmed so much more. 

I've been lucky. I know this. My teaching job has been back since July (on break now), and my studio is in my home. Though our daily covid-19 case numbers are getting scary (over 600 today), Maine has one of the lowest rates in the country. 

Nevertheless, we are all living the pandemic. I fear for my mom, who's 87, and for my 2 best friends, who both have conditions that put them at higher risk for bad covid outcomes. (Such conditions are very common! Asthma, obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, even pregnancy)  One of them is in Minneapolis, an essential worker who has to take public transportation to work every day! Nor does one have to be in a risk group; covid sometimes kills young, otherwise healthy people. 

On the economic side, because things are getting steadily worse here in Maine, I fear my job will be suspended. (I know the governor won't do that unless it's necessary, but I hope it won't be necessary.) Even in good times, worrying is my hobby, which comes in handy when things are not so good. I have saved every spare penny since March, knowing I would have few or no sales events, and that my job could be eliminated at any time. (And it was, for a few months. Nancy Pelosi saved my ass then.) 

Anyway I am getting off track. What I started to say was, my creative juices have basically dried up. I was feeling guilty about this - after all, my go-to fix for troubles is always: I will work harder - but it turns out I'm not alone. Many people are feeling a lack of creativity as a direct side effect of chronic stress. I saw a post on facebook that explained it beautifully, and I wish I could find it, but I can't, so I'll try to sum it up: your brain understands chronic stress as: you are in a dangerous environment. It reallocates resources away from creative energy to keeping you alive. You don't feel like doing anything because your brain is all: Conserve your strength! Keep your head down!

This is somewhat reassuring to me, because that means it will come back. Looking forward to that day when we walk together in the beautiful sun, and we get it together and we get it undone. Hopefully this blog will get more interesting again, too! 

Resolution: Less Waste

When I asked a young friend of mine if she made New Year's resolutions, she told me no, but she had made a New Decade's resolution: to cease using single-use plastics by 2030. This is an ambitious and laudable goal! Though I'd like to think I could do this, it feels overwhelming; but it did inspire me to think about the ways in which I could reduce waste in my life.

Here's an easy one: I can remember to bring a ceramic cup with me when I get coffee out! Coffee is one of my small indulgences. Every day at home, naturally! If you are like me, several times a week you also find yourself with a disposable cup in hand, enjoying a java out in the world. Take a second to picture the pile those cups would make at the end of the year! Disposable coffee cups aren’t good candidates for recycling, because they are either Styrofoam or lined with a thin layer of plastic.

That’s a lot of waste, but there’s good news, friend! A ceramiccup requires only 18 uses to break even with paper in terms of water use andenergy consumption. After that, every time you use a ceramic cup instead of paper, you are helping to save the planet. Once or twice a week I get a coffee out - usually at my favorite Portland coffee shop, Coffee By Design; and usually because I am between classes or other appointments in Portland, killing time. I am a potter! It is an easy matter for me to bring my own mug.

Think about it: after only 18 uses, a ceramic mug is gentler on the environment than paper, in terms of energy consumption, water, and waste. Everything after that is basically an environmental freebie! Plastic breaks even with paper after only 8 uses, but plastic will get brittle &; crack much, MUCH sooner than stoneware - a stoneware mug's useful life is basically forever. All the forever we have, anyway.

You probably already have a stoneware mug - I know my readers are mostly potters! - but just in case, here's a link to my new ones online.

Pot Shots

In keeping with my 19 for 2019, one of which was "Increase online sales," I needed to do some product photography. I want to be creative with it - find tablecloths that complement but don't distract, choose fruits or veggies as accents to highlight functionality...but that was getting in the way of just getting it done, so I set all that aside for a bit to just take some basic shots. Even that is a several-hours-long-project, which involves rearranging my living room. I'm not sure I'm doing the lights right...should they be that close? idk.
Some are easier to shoot than others! Matte glazes or exteriors that are mostly flashing slip/soda glass present less of a challenge than, say, this super-glossy oribe vase! This looks moderately like crap, with all the reflections - can you see me? I should have waved - but the better ones are not all that much better.

I have about 10 more pieces to photograph today. Then comes processing! Each photo will need to be cropped & renamed, and in some cases have the light rebalanced. After that, I'll need to take dimensions, write descriptions, and then post these online. This pottery gig is a lot of work!

Goal Setting: 19 for 2019

I've been listening to a podcast called Happier in the studio. It's all about small habits & practices that contribute to a happier life. Since I listen to several episodes at a time, so many ideas flying at me can get a little overwhelming, but there are valuable nuggets in there. One that came up a couple episodes ago was 19 in 2019, a list of 19 things you want to do in the new year. It was remarkably clarifying for me, as much for the things that didn't make the list as for the things that did. In considering the candidates, I had to weigh whether committing to doing this thing was realistic. and if not why not. Several of the things I'd like to do I left off the list - get the house painted, take a yoga class - after realizing that, though I might like to do those things, there are reasons why I haven't already. I haven't had the house painted because I don't have money for that. I haven't done it myself because there are more urgent/ important demands on my time. I don't take a yoga class because more committed blocks in my schedule make it harder to find days to fire. And so on. I had a feeling of releasing burdens by acknowledging that some things just are not going to happen, for legit reasons.

Here's my list, with the studio-related items highlighted. As you see, I was (so far!) only able to come up with 17. This is also a relief: there isn't really much about my life that I would like to change.

1. Pedal 100 miles a week
2. At least one canoe trip
3. Finish the kitchen counter
4. Learn how to felt soap
5. Get credit card down 30%
6. One social thing per month
7. Studio work & firings on schedule
8. Declutter hallway desk
9. 20 hrs per week in the studio
10. Use Instagram better for business
11. Pour concrete front walkway
12. 5 postcards to voters per month
13. Almost-daily 2 minutes of yoga
14. 1 blog post /wk
15. Drink more water
16. Increase online sales
• Keep better track of inventory
17. NCECA
18. .
19. 
    

 A couple of these I feel funny about...like, surely I shouldn't have to set a goal to get myself in the studio 20 hours a week! It's my vocation, and my calling, and more than that it's my freakin' job! Should that happen effortlessly? But when I looked at the other things in my schedule - teaching 6 classes, 6 hours of commuting a week, household stuff, helping out my elderly mom - I realized, no wonder I have a hard time finding enough time! Again, it was with a sense of laying a burden down: I'm not just lazy or disorganized or a fuck-up - I have a lot on my plate. So setting that goal no longer seems silly.

Anyway, as Gretchen Rubin says at the end of every Happier podcast: Onward & upward! Next thing to do is make a list of what I need to get these things accomplished.

Committed: See You In MPLS!!

Just booked my flight for NCECA, which is in Minneapolis this year. I can't afford to go to NCECA every year, but since I lived in the Twin Cities for several years, and haven't been back in almost 20 years, I couldn't resist the opportunity.

Our first real snowstorm of the year is happening right now (18-24" predicted, although forecast have been a little less reliable since the federal government has been shut down - some of the folks who interpret the data are furloughed, I guess? IDK) This weather is making me remember that Minneapolis is not a garden spot, in March! It will still be deep winter, in fact; but it's not the weather I am travelling for.

Workshops, demos, discussions, exhibits, those are all marvelous reasons to attend the conference, but I am mostly excited to see old friends, and maybe make some new ones.

I've been listening to a new podcast in the studio - this one is called "Happier," and it's all about little actions and habits that make overall for a happier life. A theme the main presenter, Gretchen Rubin, keeps returning to is the idea that relationships are one of, if not the, key feature in happy lives. During the Week of Reflection, I arrived at the conclusion that I don't put enough effort into maintaining friendships, and resolved to do better. Here's me, keeping a promise!

Hope to see you there.

Be It Resolved 2019

New Year's Resolutions are awesome! Don't let anybody tell you different. They get a bad rap, because people make unrealistic resolutions, or focus on the end result rather than the behavioral changes or the necessary steps. I always make resolutions - some more successful than others, but choosing them is fun, and trying to keep them is also fun! It's kind of like gamifying my life. So, without further ado, my resolutions for 2019:

Personal:

• The first one's easy: pedal 100 miles per week on the FitDesk. It's easy because I am already doing that, without even thinking about it. It's good to have an easy one to set me up for success. 
• The second is harder, but more fun: I didn't see nearly enough of friends last year. Social things tend to fall to the wayside without a concrete plan to make them happen. So, here's the plan: one social event per month. Movies with Cheryl & Sarah, drinks with Deb, something artsy or athletic with Helen, literally anything at all with MF...these are all things I want to do, and I mean to do, but without a plan they just don't happen. Now they will.
• I used to have a tradition of learning one new specific skill every year. Nothing profound - one year I learned to make cheesecake, another year I learned to ski (not very well!!) The year I tried to learn to juggle blew a big hole in my streak, but I've decided to revive it: this year I am going to learn to felt soap. I'm told it's super easy, and there's nothing wrong with choosing something easy! We don't want another juggling debacle. 

Professional: 

• More studio time! I sat down with my schedule this week, trying to plan out production & firing...and MAN! No wonder it feels like I never have enough studio time! I just...really don't have enough time for all the stuff I have to do. I am hoping the FitDesk will help - don't have to find time to work out any more - as will Mobot. But to get enough studio time, I'm still going to have to de-prioritize something else. I'm still cogitating on this one - what can go without making me some version of crazy? 
• Contained in the above paragraph is part of the solution: make a schedule & stick to it. It's harder to go down a rabbit hole of household projects if it says right on the schedule that I am supposed to be in the studio right now. 
• I need to get better at assessing opportunities - so many times I have a show or sale that I know would have gone better if I had brought the right inventory. Example: the Common Ground Fair. Now, I did well at that fair, but I would have done better if I'd had more small items, and looking back, that was entirely predictable - it's actually an agricultural fair (that doesn't do it justice, but the point is, it isn't primarily an art fair) and it's HUGE, and the parking is sometimes miles away - so unsurprisingly, people don't want to carry big serving bowls around. Often you can make a good guess as to what will sell; I just need to make a more deliberate effort to do that. 

Many of my resolutions seem to come down to "I will work harder!" like Boxer from Animal Farm. Story of a potter's life, right? Nevertheless, I wish you all the best in this year of 2019. 

Dear 2018

Speaking of reflections, check out this Sun Dog! It's a reflection of sunlight on ice crystals in the air. 

Longtime readers know that the week between Christmas and New Years' is my favorite of the year. (Well. Except possibly the Wigwam Weekend! and all the other days that the air outside doesn't hurt my face.) I love that all the holiday hulabaloo is done, but it doesn't yet feel like we've returned to routine. I use these days to reflect on the past year and think about the next. I am a big fan of New Year's resolutions, on the grounds that even a partially kept resolution typically has a more salubrious effect than none at all, but I don't make them lightly. This week gives me time to think about what I could do better or more or differently, to being my life - and, increasingly, my world - closer to ideal.

This year's Week of Reflection opened with a Sun Dog: bright spots of light flanking the sun as the light bounces off ice crystals in the atmosphere. (No, I didn't take the photo; that's a sun dog that appeared over Chicago a few years ago.) It seemed fitting.

I learned a lot in 2017, actually, but the big takeaway is to focus my energy. Boiling it down, in the personal realm:

• I  can only do what I can do, and I can't do more than that. I also learned that what I can do - what all of us can do - is more than we think!  
• I hate this one but...I learned to walk away from some people - even if I feel that at heart they are good people. I hate it because it feels like giving up, but people have to make their own choices. It's arrogant of me to think I can change a mind that's determined not to change. 
• As a direct result, I grew closer to the people who nourish my joy, and I hope that I do the same for them. I want to use my emotional energy lifting people up. 

Professionally, I had the same big takeaway: FOCUS. I make pots. I make & sell soap. I teach classes. I do workshops. I sell wholesale, at shows, and consignment. This is a lot of spreading my energy around! It's time to pare down a bit.

I 💓 teaching my classes. Some days I honestly can't believe my luck that someone would pay me to hang out with fun people and do fun creative projects and talk about my favorite subject. It also lends some stability to our household income; with Doug & I both being self employed, it can get a little chaotic because payday is just "whenever the checks arrive." So teaching stays.

Obviously I'll be making pots! and also selling pots. I am finding that shows fit my work style very well: I work better (or at least more!) when I am aiming for a specific event. I'll keep my existing wholesale accounts, and maybe pick a couple more, but I think I will be ending my consignment relationships. They are a lot of work for a small trickle of money, and more than the work, they keep a bunch of inventory tied up collecting dust while waiting to sell. Better to have the pots on hand to fill an art fair display or provide work when a wholesale account needs it.

Soap. Ah, soap. For sure I will keep making soap, and for sure I will sell what I make, but I've decided that soap will remain a hobby. I have a daydream of a line - Sweet Life Bath & Body - and maybe even a store in downtown Augusta. But there are only so many hours in a day and a week and a year, and I can't do both this and be a potter. Upside: this frees me to make whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it, and not try to design a line or produce consistently, or market the line, or mess around with the perfect packaging. Just lye and fat, doin' their thing.

I'll be cutting back on workshops, offering only the two I am already committed to in 2018. Because I dread the very thought of failing or being unprepared in front of an audience, I spend so much time on preparation for workshops that the otherwise-reasonable amount I am paid for the ends up not covering my time.

Happy New Year, dear readers! Here's hoping in 2018 you spend time with the people you love and doing things that bring you joy.

Art on the Hill

A few weeks ago, after a long break from art fairs due to lack of an appropriate vehicle, I did a sidewalk show - the Portland Fine Craft Show.  I worked like a mad bastard to get ready for the show, schlepped and hoisted and waited and smiled in what I hoped was a welcoming and not maniacal way during the show, and remembered the deep satisfaction that comes with art fairs.

I remembered: work is awesome. (A friend of mine is fond of saying, "Work is great. It's jobs that suck. " I know what he means!)  Working your ass off for weeks and then seeing, directly, the reward for that work - that is a fabulous feeling. I also was reminded: I work better with a specific event or goal in mind. Or at least I work harder!

That is the way of it, with self-employment: you eat what you kill. Maybe that's why I always got restless, in conventional employment situations; it's hard to feel the direct connection between how hard you work and the rewards you reap.

With all that in mind, and with the trusty Grey Lady always ready for saddle or pack, I registered for another fair: Art on the Hill, put on by the Society of East End Artists at the East End Community School in Portland. This is the school at the end of the Portland peninsula that used to known as Jack Junior.

Summer's not even technically done yet, but with this goal in mind (and, of course, the Portland Pottery show, and the Holiday Pop up Shop) the urge to make is coming on strong.  I know how events sneak up on me! Time can change from "more than plenty" to "oops too late!" in the space of a day. (Or, in the words of Hermione Granger's homework planner, ""Don't leave it till later, you big second-rater!"

Gotta Hustle

Many years ago, when I lived in the Twin Cities (the Minnesota ones, not the Maine Twin Cities), I was driving on Lake Street on a Sunday morning. A big-hair woman in surprisingly brief clothing was making mighty efforts to get drivers' attention, although not mine; she was smiling brightly, tossing her hair, and energetically waving at passing men. I turned to my passenger and observed, "She works hard for the money." My friend deadpanned in response: "Yeah, well: you gotta hustle, if you wanna be a hustler."

I tell this story not to ridicule that young woman - I don't know anything about her life or circumstances - but because his reply stuck with me. You gotta hustle, if you wanna be a hustler - or a potter.

I remind myself of this when I slack on the tedious parts of the job: the selling. Posting pots in the online store, calling shops, sending emails to teaching studios to ask after workshops. When I slack off, unsurprisingly, my income stream diminishes. No hustle, no bustle. No bucks.

The flip side of it is, make the effort, see the rewards. It always seems like it takes more effort than it should, but push hard enough and things happen. Sometimes I feel like that smiling, waving working girl: Look at me, look at me, I am worth your attention! 

I really don't like that part, but I do like the getting paid part, so what's a potter to do? I am trying a new approach, inspired somewhat by Cindy's post at Dirt-Kicker Pottery, in which she describes trying to balance her work cycle so she doesn't get stuck with a mountain of the less enjoyable parts to do all at once. Something like this happens to me! I'm lucky, in that I like all the making parts: I like throwing and altering and decorating and loading the kiln and glazing and firing; I can even sort of like the peace of the zone I need to create to mix glazes. What happens is, I do all that stuff, and put off the selling part, until I have too many pots, and I need to sell them. Shelves full of pots really bum me out, and I don't feel like making until I clear them out, so I won't make for a long time, and sometimes I'll take a chance on a consignment outlet that I don't, actually, think is all that promising, just to empty those depressing full shelves. And then later I end up with the awkward task of telling a store that, sorry, but it's just not working out, bummer, I know, but it happens...yadda yadda yadda... and then having to go and pack up the work.

That I then have to go and try to sell somewhere else.

SO. To avoid that inefficient & demoralizing cycle, I am trying to incorporate the hustle more into my routine. Every week, several times a week, I will make some effort to sell something. I will call an account, see if they need pots. I will send images to stores that don't currently carry me, to see if they want to. I will photograph pots I have here, and post them online. I will follow up on emails from people looking for ware.

The idea being that a little every day is easier to manage than a solid week of banging on doors (metaphorically) and it takes a while for the responses to come back anyway. I should always have something in the works.

Gotta hustle.

Welcome, Fire Rooster

Can't say I am sorry to see that dratted Fire Monkey make his exit. Bye-bye, Fire Monkey, don't let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya. 

Truth be told the Fire Monkey kicked my ass. 

The year of the Fire Rooster brings better things! It portends an increase in civility, which will be a welcome change, and promises we'll see "maximum integrity." Seems like that is already underway. 

The good news is that I was born in the year of the Dragon - the Wood Dragon, to be exact. (I know

Me, before coffee

Zodiac of all kinds is bullshit, but read that description and tell me it doesn't sound like me! Especially the "wasting time over-analyzing" bit.)

"The year 2017 of the Fire Rooster will be full of positive events and very good news, career progress and profitable businesses for those born in the year of the Dragon. "

Me, after coffee

Looking forward to this! Of course, I don't expect the Rooster to do all the work. I have been more energized in the last few weeks (The lexapro has helped! Which I couldn't get without the ACA. Just sayin'.) Positive events and career progress don't just happen by themselves, with or without the help of mythical beasts.  Like all goals, they require planning; I hark back to my favorite inspirational quote: "A goal without a plan is just a wish."- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
 Now is a good time as any to start setting those goals and making those plans. 

Goal Setting 2017

Rebuild my inventory. That's job one. The rest all depends on this. To that end, I will block out my glaze firings, to give me a framework in which to schedule other aspects of production. 

Start sending out a newsletter! I actually spent the bucks - AND YOU KNOW HOW I HATE TO DO THAT - for Publisher, to reify this. The right tools matter, and I tried dinking around with OpenOffice to get this done last year, and it didn't go well. 

This actually needs to be an annual event, but it doesn't get done unless I type it out, so: I need to review my accounts, decide which are performing well as is, which consignment accounts would be better as wholesale, and which, sadly, are not making money for either of us. 

Get a truck! This is a biggie and a toughie. It's been an obstacle to doing art fairs for a while, so I decided to do it in reverse: apply for a fair I want to do, which will then force me to get a truck to make it happen! Of course, I might not get in the fair, there's never a guarantee; but either way I need a truck. I have my eye on a real vintage doozie, but any truck (that runs) is better than no truck. 

That's probably enough.  I have not forgotten that pushing myself too hard resulted in the Great Burnout of 2016, so will continue to build in self-care. I'm kind of excited that there is now a yoga studio in downtown Augusta, just a half mile from my house! I can't afford to go every week - most weeks I only have $15 (or less) discretionary income, and a yoga visit is $12 - but I promise myself to get there once or twice a month.  

Welcome, Fire Rooster, and be blessed, my muddy buddies. 💙

Okay, So...About Those Resolutions

I had a weird 2016. Well: we all did. But my personal 2016 was a weirdly passive year for me. I found it hard to get into the studio, to make soap, to write this blog, to do anything creative, really. The push to be ready for my presentation at NCECA got me through March and then...I... dragged. My production slowed to a crawl, and I was not even firing every two months. When it became clear I was not going to be able to will myself out of it, I took on more classes, because even when I am willing to let myself down, I rarely fail to meet obligations I have made. It seemed a better choice than just re-reading old books and worrying.

I made enough to fill orders, and to keep my consignment locations full, but my website has read "Out of Stock" for months now, and I haven't been refreshing the inventory in stores.

I didn't have a word for this feeling until recently, when I was poking around pottery blogs, and found a series fellow artist Whitney Smith had done on burnout. It all sounded very familiar. I had just been pushing so hard for so long in so many different directions, and feeling like I wasn't getting anywhere. It was all too much. Or not enough. Everything seemed like too much effort for too little reward. The need to make dried up.

What a sentence! What a scary feeling, for an artist. I couldn't help but wonder: what if it doesn't come back?

Just lately, maybe in the last two weeks, the feeling has started to lift. I was able to start the stair project, which would have required an unthinkable degree of initiative in October. I have a bunch of refires that I need to clear from the studio, so I haven't been doing much throwing, but I do feel the desire to do so returning. And you may have noticed that I am blogging more.

Usually when I make resolutions, they are about working more, trying harder, doing better. See where that got me! The burnout period was scary enough that this year I want to take steps to prevent it happening again. So this year my resolutions are about self-care:

• Give myself permission to enjoy my downtime. My pattern has been to feel guilty whenever I am not doing something productive, so my head never really gets downtime. Making is not a moral imperative. It's not wrong to relax. 
• Budget for enjoyable things. The last few years I have been focusing hard on paying down credit card debt. I'm proud of the progress I've made, but I made it by basically sending every spare penny to my credit cards. No money to grab a burger at our local pub, no money for new clothes, no money for home improvement projects that aren't absolutely necessary. You can see how this can lead to the feeling that work is pointless! While it is satisfying to see those credit card balances shrink, it's a pretty deep hole I am trying to fill, and I need to enjoy the fruits of my labor, too.  
• Limit my consumption of news and social media. This is a big one: while I believe we as citizens have a duty to stay informed, I don't need to know every foolish thing that a foolish person tweets. I find it's best to stick to the more staid information sources, those with a long history of accurate reporting: NPR, the Wall Street Journal, Reuters, The Washington Post, the New York Times. I am no good to anyone stuck in  a cycle of outrage and despair. 
• Quit worrying so much if my efforts are good enough. One of the reasons I have not blogged as much is, as I started to gain a greater readership, I started to self-censor. That's boring. That's self-absorbed. That's too much like something I did a few years ago. It was almost like stage fright. But the heck with it - people don't have to read it, If it gets boring, they'll just skip it. And I won't even know, because I will have turned off my stat counter! Ditto my class lessons: I make Herculean efforts to make he lessons interesting, but sometimes they are going to fall flat anyway, and that's okay. Not everything has to be fabulous. Sometimes good enough is good enough. 

I will, of course, need to set business goals in order to right the ship. It's on the list, but first I need to right my head.

My Done List

I'm a big list maker. Without them I sort of flail around, starting things and then getting distracted. I keep my lists on paper - going to my phone or computer to check a list just gives me another opportunity to get distracted. Usually, I have one to-do list, divided into sections reflecting current goals and priorities. Today, for example, looked like this:

A reasonably doable and balanced to-do list, right? Here's how my done list reads: 

Home: 

• Dishes
• Change bedding 
• 2 loads laundry
• Make soup
• Unclog bathroom sink
• Clean litterboxes

Financial:

• Pay CC1
• Check balances

Fitness:

Studio:

Notice anything out of balance? Yeah, me too. Now granted, it's only 10:30 in the morning; plenty of time to get some studio & fitness items in. The point is that I tend to prioritize home tasks over fitness or studio goals. The financial stuff gets done, too, because there are immediate consequences for not doing so, but, ya know, there are no immediate consequences of putting off changing the bedding a few more days. On the other hand I've put that particular task of several times now, and some day has to be the day I do it. None of the items on the "Home" list are busy work; they all needed to be done. It does kind of point up, though, why I never seem to have enough studio time, or workout time for that matter: I put everything else first. I don't think today is an anomaly; quite the opposite. 

The Done List was a very useful exercise for me! I have to be mindful to prioritize my priorities, or, put more simply, put first things first. 

I can now add "Blog Post" to my Done List! Now to off to the studio, to even things out a bit. 

New Location: Stable on Front, Bath, Maine

In keeping with my goal to add a new account every shopping season, Fine Mess Pottery will now have work at Stable on Front, a fine craft store in Bath, Maine.

SOF is owned by an artist, Caroline Davis, and her background informs the mix of work on display. She carries two other ceramicists, Liz Proffetty and Tyler Gulden, both fine potters and good friends of mine.

I feel so good about Caroline, the aesthetic of the store, and the company I'd be keeping, that  I broke a couple of my rules: first, I agreed to do consignment. I don't rule consignment out entirely, but I much prefer wholesale, for practical reasons - a check in hand - and squishier ones: I think the store is works harder to sell pieces if they are literally invested in them. It's a reflection of how much they believe in the work.

This store is also relatively new. I've had relatively new stores go an entire seasons without sending me a check; I've  had stores have no idea what they actually sold until I came in to check. I've had stores vanish with my pots. These are all reasons I avoid new stores. But Caroline has been involved with retail through the Stable Gallery in Damariscotta, of which this is an offshoot; she is not what you'd call a flight risk. Also, Bath is only a half hour from me, I can easily stop in the bring new inventory or just to see how things are going.
It's spring, time once again for list-making and goal-setting! Stay tuned.

Goal Setting, January Too Oh! Won Six

Bisquing today. It's nice to hear the hiss of the burners again. Usually I don't fire in January, but this year I have an order waiting - nice - and it's not nearly so cold, also nice. While the kiln is firing, clay work is on hold, so now is a good time to clean, and to do a little goal setting.

2014 was the Year of Always Working. I can't say I loved the Year of Always Working, so 2015 was the year of rebalanced working, to concentrate on efforts that result in income. I am leery to change anything, since this approach has been effective, but I miss some of my old pursuits. I hardly blogged at all last year, for example. That is only partly a result of the rebalance; the other part is that I started to become aware that people read this blog - kind of a lot of people! And it made me self-conscious if I didn't have something new and fabulous to post. I didn't want to disappoint people with a lot blah-blah posts (like this one! :) ) but the tutorials are much more time consuming, so...anyway, short story long, I was overthinking it. Just going back to posting whatever I feel like, hopefully at least every week.

January is also when I assess accounts. I used to think any account is a good account, but that is sadly not true. A consignment account that does not send regular checks is not a good account, no matter how much I like the people, or the aesthetic of the store. That doesn't mean they can't become a good account, maybe with a different mix of work. Stores more than an hour or so away from me are tough to refresh, though, and there's no guarantee that the new work will do any better. In general it's better (for me) to do wholesale if the location is more than an hour away. I do make exceptions to this; sometimes I come to regret them.

It looks like one nearby consignment account will be converting to wholesale (yay) and I am asking another, far away, if they will go that route. I have a line on a consignment gallery only about a half hour from home, though they don't have a website or, apparently, email (whyyyyyyy?) and the number I have for them just rings and rings. I'd like to add one more wholesale account, perhaps out of state, for the spring season.

As I can never have too much inventory, one area I can improve on is winter production. It's easy to dial back in the winter months, because there's no pressure, but before I know it spring is here, and I am scrambling to get work fired for stores. This winter I will complete one firing cycle every...six weeks? That seems reasonable, one in about a week and then next in March, then at the beginning of May. That will have me going into summer with plenty of work for my established accounts, and for responding to opportunities as they arise.

Now: art fairs. Should I do one? Should I do more than one? I need to decide this week if I am applying for the Portland Fine Craft Show in August. This will be the second year of this show, and while I heard mixed things from artists last year, I think it has the potential to be great. But then I remember I don't have a truck, and Portland is an hour away...it would be a pretty big headache to do it, involving bringing the display and bins of pots down in multiple trips over the course of a week when I go down to teach my classes. When I was younger I would have said Hang the hassle! Full speed ahead! But I did lots of dumb things when I was young, so maybe that shouldn't be my standard.

Probably I should just apply, and then decide, if accepted.

Dream it, Plan it, Bless it with Sweat

As someone once said, a goal without a plan is just a wish. Further to that, a plan not followed by work is nothing at all; might as well be mouse farts. I am a fine goal-setter, and an even better planner, but sometimes I fall down when it comes to doing the work. So this is my motto for 2016:

Dream it, plan it, bless it with sweat.

It might seem corny to have a motto, but I have sometimes found that it serves as a touchstone for when you come to a decision point. My personal favorite, one that I come back to again and again, is: how hard can it be? It reminds me that I am good at figuring stuff out on the fly, and encourages me to start projects even if I don't know exactly what I am doing. Which is a good thing, because if I waited until I knew what I was doing I'd never start anything.

So there it is, all my New Year's resolutions in a nutshell: dream it, plan it, bless it with sweat.

Also, eat more fruit.

Goal Setting 2015: Prospero Año y Felicidad

As you may know, I like New Year's resolutions. I know it's not fashionable, but my thinking is, if I resolve to go to the gym three times a week, and only keep it up through February, that's still more gym visits than if I had never made the resolution, so it's a no-lose.

This year, though...I sort of feel like, I'm already doing the best I can. I could resolve to go to the gym three times a week, but I can't magically create three more hours in each week. It would necessarily mean I'd spend less time doing something else, and the balance is already pretty precarious. So this year, I'm tempted to just resolve to keep on keepin' on.


I do have some goals, though:

• I'd like to gain a couple of accounts, and will probably have to say goodbye to one. I'm learning to be selective: it's a not a straight more-is-better equation.  
• Every year I am tempted to rebuild my art fair display, and every year I find I don't have the cash available. I'm not ruling it out, but this year I am setting a more doable goal in the form of a portable display cart that I can bring to First Friday and other outdoor events. Bonus points if it can double for soap!
• I didn't get my bike out once last summer, and I greatly missed it. I hope that I can keep on keepin' on without sacrificing the things I love to do. 

Can't work today, because though I bought clay on Wednesday, my car broke down on the way home. Timing belt, wouldn'tcha just know it. The car & clay are still at the shop...making some peppermint soap in the meantime.

Attached Please Find...

Quick, what's the worst part of being a potter? Worse than mixing glazes, worse than grinding kiln shelves? Approaching stores and galleries about selling my work, that's what! It wrecks my head for days. And today is one of THOSE days: the day I have to make the follow up calls. My stomach hurts and I can scarcely breathe, just thinking about it. It never gets easier.

I can send emails all day long; it's the follow-up calls that kill me. Artists famously have poor social skills - I myself am painfully shy - but to be successful we have to also have the mad skilz as salespeople. (Do people say "mad skilz" anymore? Oh.)I've set myself a modest goal of three follow-up calls a day. I am approaching larger, out-of-state venues, in order to get the prices I need, but naturally these are harder to get into. I keep telling myself that some nos are to be expected, but maybe that's the wrong approach! Maybe I should be psyching myself up that OF COURSE they will want me.

Gah. Back when I used to apply for jobs, I never felt like this, no matter how much I needed the job. Wish I could get my head back into that breezy space, but really I can't. The more important thing is just MAKE THE CALLS.

And if you see me today, and I'm not quite myself, be kind.

UPDATE: Pathetic, but I seriously don't think I can do this. I've thrown up twice this morning, thinking about it, and my hands are shaking typing this. I know it shouldn't be this hard, but it just fucking is. So: where does that leave me?