05/05/14 Blacula (1972)

Thought I hadn't seen this, but I have. It's pretty weak, although William Marshall who plays Blacula, almost gives the role dignity, in the scenes without the plastic fangs, he's excellent. Otherwise it's dated badly, has lots of wobbly acting and tries to throw in a difficult comparison between the centuries of colonial/slavery practices in Africa and vampirism.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068284/
4/10

Purple... Robe... Hood... A stiff... Sure there's a penis joke in there somewhere.

"Fucking ouch! Just sat on me vampire bollock."

By the logic of this film, I'm guessing this guy is Count Greenula.

"Whaddya mean I can't play the title role!?"

Perkin.

27/10/13 Suicide Kings (1997)

Some spoiled, wealthy idiots are in something of a pickle, so they kidnap a pensioner.

The plot's a little wobbly, some of the casting is poor and the final scene is unlikely and very much at odds with the tone of the film. However, Christopher Walken is superb, doing that quietly threatening thing he used to do so well, and the dialogue is occasionally excellent. Dennis Leary also has a fantastic scene involving a toaster.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120241/
7/10

Perkin.

01/05/12 Jetsam (2007)

Mini budget Brit-thriller about a woman who washes up on the Kent coast then wakes up and can't remember who she is. She has a fight with a guy who's also washed up on the beach, then ambles off towards an abandoned church up a hill. During the walk to the church, she has a one hour double flashback that explains what the rogering flip is going on. Mostly.

Although the fractured narrative is wobbly, it all mostly makes sense by the end, and for a film that cost only £3000 it is compelling, well shot and finely acted.

This was filmed about forty miles from where I'm typing this, yet we had to buy a copy from the Thailand as it seems to be the only place in the world where it's been released on DVD.

7.5/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0830575/

                              Spain can kiss my balls. Visit Kent and marvel at the spectrum of grey.


                                                                             Perkin.