Stop it!

I know you are all thinking bad thoughts about me....like how I can't handle life with four kids and I'm so overwhelmed with it all that I haven't had a minute to blog.

Well, you're right.

So there.

But stop with the negative thoughts already! I'm turning over a new leaf. See...here I am. I'm blogging. Not that I have anything profound to say. Who can be profound on 3 hours of sleep? But mostly I just wanted to share these:

See. I'm totally handing 4 kids.

101

Celebrating 101

Spanish 101: The art of "Hola. Me llamo Paco."

Babies 101: Perfecting diapers, sleepless nights, clothing with a lot of snaps, nursing, and one-handed everything else.

Siblings 101: Figuring out how to do more things for yourself, some things for someone else, and many things you shouldn't be doing but are going to do anyway because mom's too busy feeding the baby right now.

Blogging 101: Although thoroughly unplanned, my 100th blog post announced the arrival of my *final* child and it passed completely unnoticed. (blog post, not child's arrival) So here's to blogpost 101!

Side note: Bronwyn wanted me to post 101 reasons why she's sort of, kind of, really, maybe scared of Lincoln but we'll save that for another day.

Things not to cry about

When my mom was a little girl, she always spilled her milk at dinner. I think that's why my family always got water for dinner. And we all know the saying, "There's no used crying over spilled milk."



So when I spilled some water on Thursday night, there was no crying, just immediate action. And a lot of it.



I was packing the kids' lunches for school on Friday. I bent over to pick up a water bottle to put in Hadley's lunch. Note the irony. And pop. I left behind a puddle on the floor and called to Stewart. "What do you have going on at work tomorrow, Honey? Any specific meetings scheduled? Depositions? Clients?"



"Just work," he replied.



"Okay then my water broke," I answered.



So we packed up the kids, took them to my mom's house, and headed down to the hospital. We specialize in early babies and so I always deliver at Utah Valley. That means we get to drive past four hospitals on our way to the hospital we finally stop at.



She was in a hurry to get here. Such a hurry. Luckily the doctor was right outside my room because I dilated from a 4 to a 10 in only a few minutes. I'm like a German race car. You know...0 to 80 in 2 seconds or whatever.



Baby Girl Peay is here. She was born at 1:59 a.m. on 9-10-10 and weighed 5 lbs. 6 oz., 18 1/2 inches long. Only four weeks early and perfectly healthy.



I could make a very long list of things that I didn't need to cry about this weekend. Mostly we are just in awe of the beautiful person who joined our family. Her name is Bronwyn Davies Peay, meaning dark and pure in heart. It's a good Welsh name and her Grandpa Boppers was very proud!

And here she is:

Welcome, Bronwyn.

You just never know...

what's going to happen at WalMart.

My amazing husband now gets to go run errands for me, in addition to all of his other responsibilities. And yes, he does deserve to be canonized after this experience ends. He and Maddox were at WalMart and they ran into a friend from our old neighborhood. They chatted for awhile and then continued with their shopping, at which point Maddox looked up at Stew and came out with this classic:

"Dad, I can't believe such a nice man could be a University of Utah fan."

Go Cougars! I guess we've taught him well.

Somebody told me

Yesterday I was asked if I was writing this all down. "Are you keeping a journal?" So I'm writing it. Here. I hope you know me well enough to know that I am laughing my way through this. Okay, so I do have my moments of tears. But for the most part, I'm finding this sad enough to just...laugh. I am not writing to complain. I don't even feel sorry for myself. Really. I mostly just think it's kind of funny.

Maybe I'll start with a little story to illustrate my point.

When Stewart was in Iraq, Hadley kept getting really sick and ended up needing tubes put in her ears. Looking back, it isn't that big of a deal. But at the time, it seemed like a mammoth trial. Like an elephant I had to eat all by myself.

One night I went to the movies with some friends. We saw Bruce Almighty and I recall one specific moment that made me laugh out loud. Bruce was walking in an alleyway and stepped into what looked like a puddle but ended up being a pothole. He was wet to his knee and looked up at the sky and said something like, "Come on! Are you serious? What next?"

I remember thinking it was so funny because I'd had moments like that. Those moments when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong.

Which brings us to what somebody told me I needed to write down.

Here's the chronology:
1. Stewart has severe back pain. The MRI reveals that he has herniated discs in his back.
2. I fall and break, sprain and tear a ligament in my foot.
3. I spend 3 weeks recovering from break and finally get back on my feet. Yay!
4. I have a little scare and get put on full bed rest.
5. Hadley is stung by a wasp and we find out she has a severe allergy and ends up in InstaCare unable to breathe.
6. Lincoln has a 102.5 fever and lays around like a lethargic bump on a log.
7. Maddox and Lincoln go to grandma's and Maddox starts vomiting and running a high fever.

So...what next? I shouldn't even ask that, should I? But really it's just a series of small things. Nothing too serious. I mean, considering that I haven't had this baby early, everyone has returned to health, and besides Stewart's back problem that has to be taken care of, we're all just fine.

I really feel like there's only one thing to worry about now. Can our health insurance drop us for being too high maintainence?

Stir Crazy

So house arrest...er, I mean, bed rest...is going well. When I've had good behavior, I get visits from my kids. Visits from sticky fingers and dirty feet and big smiles. I miss those sticky faces.

What does stir crazy mean? Stir what? Let me know if you know 'cause I don't.


When I was a little girl, the worst thing you could do to me by way of punishment was send me to my room. I hated the solitary confinement. Now I will be the first to admit that I have often wondered, since my offspring entered my life, if I would EVER be alone again. I craved just a trip to the bathroom alone. And alone is here. It has arrived. And apparently I still have more of that little girl in me then I realized. I'm considering doing what I did then. I think I might lie down on the floor next to the door and kick and scream, "let me out!" Wait, is kicking okay when you're on bed rest?


Yes, gone are the days when there is a little hand banging on my shower door or waking up to a little face saying, "Mommy, I'm hungry." Gone.


Okay, don't be so melodramatic, overly emotional pregnant lady. Those days aren't gone, gone. They are just on hold. I'm sure a week after this ends, I'll be begging for more alone time again. But right now, I miss my little boys.


To everything, there is a season. To know the good, you must taste the bad, right? This, too, shall pass. Endure to the end. This could be worse. Any other cliches you can think of to make me want to....gouge my eyes out?


No? Okay, good. Then you are welcome to call for a chat or come by with a diet coke. No attempt-to-cheer-me-up cliches, though. I'm fine, really. Let's talk about YOU. I'm happy to hear what's going on outside. Is it hot out there? It looks like it.


Does stir crazy mean that I've gone so crazy that my thoughts don't even come out coherently anymore? Just all mixed up. Stir fry. Little here, little there. Throw in some zucchini 'cause I still have lots of that. Okay. Just wonderin'.

Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

Yesterday, I...

felt wierd
had cramps
lost my mucous plug
(sorry, gross, I know)

Today, I...

went to the doctor
got put on 100% bed rest
was told I can only get up to use the bathroom
cried a lot
cried some more
found people to help with my kids
cried even more

Tomorrow, I...

return to the doctor
will find out if I am going to be admitted into the hospital
plan to cry some more
will be in my bed for the rest of the time
or checking into the hospital

I am 32 weeks pregnant as of today. This is the point in pregnancy when Lincoln was born. He spent 6 excruciating weeks in the NICU. The kind doctor today told me...between my gulps and sobs...that every day I can keep this baby in equals two fewer days of the NICU. I plan to obey the 100% bed rest order because I've done the NICU routine and I hated it. I do not want to wake up to a breast pump every three hours. I do not want to give birth to a "rag doll with a pulse" (as one nurse described Lincoln). I want my birth moment, where they hand you a healthy, pink, breathing baby. I do not want to drive to the hospital four or five times a day and leave my other children behind. I do not want to drive away from the hospital four or five times a day and leave my baby behind. I do not want any of this. I did not want yesterday, today or tomorrow. But here I am and that is that.

So pray for me, would ya?