LIFE'S RIPPLES BUFFETING THE CALM SEA OF LIFE

----- I'm writing this for a good friend ...

life is not as bad as you may think it is. I'm addressing this also to those who are feeling miserable and dejected about life, someone or something this very moment. You feel that you've lost it all. Trials, life's unpopular trials. So much I'd like to say to you just to tell you that all is not lost, that life is worth another try, that nothing can put you down because nothing really can. But you must try, at least try to look at the brighter side of things. Nothing in this life is totally good or totally bad.. or all good or all bad. There's a bit of each. Like what the Chinese say... it's the Yin and Yang of life and living. One balances the other and vice versa. You can't have steak everyday -- sometimes the food is just not to your taste or liking. But you learn to take both sensibly. We get heroes in our midst and villains too. We get sunshine and rain and it falls on both the rich and the poor. We get good times and bad times. We have money in our wallets and sometimes not. Maybe it's so that our egos don't get blown up out of proportion.

So then what do you do?

You stand tall. Life's troubles may knock you down - kick your butt - bruise or scar you - shake you up big time - upset your cart - or make your dreams come crumbling down but.... you must pick yourself up, shake off the dust, and start walking.. walking tall. Because that's who you are --- strong, brave, tough as steel, determined, persevering, and armed with big hope and steady faith. That's how God made you to be.

The best thing you can do with that is to extract or squeeze out the lessons for your good learning. Life is one big university and we're all here to learn. That's why it's there --- for your learning. No other, not to hurt you or make you feel insignificant, not to hurt you mentally emotionally spiritually. Far from that. Because God won't do anything to hurt His dear beloved children. But... He will train and discipline you if He thinks you're getting off the track. Sometimes He must protect you from yourself. Now all you have to do is take heed - pay attention - and learn well. These ripples which disturb the calm of your life are only but ripples and they cannot hurt you.. if you won't let them! Be that wonderful person you were meant to be in the first place. And one more thing, let God help you.

Have a blessed weekend, everyone. God bless. -----

TO BE STRONG MEANS LEARNING TO GROW-GIVE-RECEIVE-LEARN

I remember this from long ago at the workplace. A colleague was feeling so smug bout his sales achievement over this other employee who didn't fare so well but was a good man and friend. Irked as I was by his attitude I restrained myself as it seemed none of my business on that issue. But I thought one better with the inten...t to prick his over-sized balloon. (Oh yes, I can do that too...:-)) To make a long story short, I typed something in huge size letters and printed it on bond paper... and hung it up on my cork board in my cubicle but made sure that it was facing the door. No one could ever miss that even if simply walking by my spot.

Here comes Mr. Smug, placed his short fat arms atop my cubicle wall and made to say something when his eyes caught my cork board. And .... he turned round, left without saying a word. Some said that he changed. But I never got the chance to know or see that cos he never passed my way again. :-)

What did I write? It was something I remembered from long ago; don't even remember who wrote it. But it sure sent home the message.....

"The final criteria is never whether one is strong or weak but whether one is ----- GROWING... LEARNING... GIVING... and RECEIVING."

We should always remember that. We're not here to show off or be so mean to others. We're here to make the best of ourselves as God originally planned. That means to be worthy to be with Him in our final home and destination at the end of our life journey. And you know that WORTHY is the highest compliment that can be accorded a person..... even in this life.

OLDER MAKES YOU COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS MORE

------- My best friend said this to me --- "The nicest thing about getting older is that you begin to see what truly matters... the things that do and the things that don't."

She's right as she does things so differently now as compared to those early days of youth. So what are those? Eat food that are more healthier and nutritious. No to junk food. Go to the movies with or without company and enjoy it just as much. Simple pleasures, simple tastes, simple needs. Spend time with people you would consider treasures. You waste no time with jerks. Not just pray only when problems assail you... but rather talk to God all the time... small things, big things, happy, sad, everything. And always with a grateful heart. Try not to dwell on misery disappointment frustration failure cos it's all passing. Life is short so why waste it living in misery. These unpleasant things when finally understood so well, you realize, don't define you. But what you do with it WILL define you.

Yet.....

ofttimes age is not appreciated nor given its due credit. So many of us can't quite see beyond the exterior - failing eyes, weak gait, sag or bulge where there wasn't before, white hair, failed hearing, clothes that no longer fit, or perceived slowness of the mind.

Sadder that some families would rather move their old folks to homes for the elderly or leave them to fend for themselves old and alone.. or rant and rage that it costs them a fortune minding their health issues and care... or laugh at them for their perceived uselessness stupidity and weakness. It's appalling to see and hear that from the very children who were nurtured from birth to independence by their mothers and fathers... parents who gave their lives so that their children could have theirs.

But I'd like to think that this is more the exception rather than the rule. We love our families, we love our parents, and we keep them with us for as long as we can through thick and thin, through highs and lows, through all the seasons of life.

As my good friend further says from the standpoint of age.... "You see all and learn to count your blessings."

God bless you.

SUFFERING IS A TOOL ONE OF MANY TO HIGHER GROUND

---------- She asked 'why do I need to suffer?'

I was thinking of ignoring the question and just smile, shrug my shoulders, and move on to another subject. But her eyes told me differently. What and why I do not know and neither would I ask. There are places that one must not tread on, even in friendships.

I don't have the answer to that nor pretend to know. But others perhaps could as gleaned from own experience. That enough can be quite confusing, let alone leave you wondering. Because I once asked that same question long ago and I got gazillions of answers to it. Yet each was sufficient to its own. I now understand. And now have added mine to that same pot.

Nobody likes to suffer. It's one word in the dictionary that people wished wasn't there. Everybody knows that suffering changes lives, like it or not. But we know too that when one suffers it most definitely is caused by something or someone.

Hers was caused by someone. That much I can say.

The one who suffers may think that everything is lost, that the world gave up on her, that misery is her company for the rest of her life. I beg to disagree to that. Suffering as bad as it may seem or look to anyone is not hopeless. Fact is, it holds a promise somewhere there just waiting to be uncovered or revealed. But one has to look very hard to see it or better yet with steel bravery seek it out. Because when you do --- a thousand doors begin to unlock, windows fling wide open, and your soul soars to higher grounds.

the blind tenor ----- andrea bocelli
blind and deaf ----- helen keller
deaf composer ----- ludwig van beethoven
and many others more lived that promise.

The person who caused the suffering won't, as you may perhaps think otherwise, go scot-free. How is this? In the deep of the night when everything is quiet his soul goes to work. It begins to gnaw at his conscience. Oh yes, it's still there but he just tries to ignore it or push it aside or bury it at the far bottom. Unfortunately conscience is something you can't extinguish delete or eliminate yourself. In some it may take awhile or longer, but definitely it will do what it was set out to do. Outwardly the person may live a life seemingly unperturbed by his misdeeds but that's just a facade. One that would soon break down as he constantly day by day struggles with keeping a lie he fiercely adheres to and warding off truth arrows seeking to pierce his armor.

That isn't all it is yet because one day he will have to contend with someone coming forward with the truth, or someone who will look him straight in the eye and say -- 'Enough!'. Or as Judas must have felt when he caused Jesus' suffering, the burden of misery and guilt would now fall upon his head.

So then while the one who suffers may have learned to cope and move on perhaps to bigger and brighter things, the one who caused the suffering would be journeying to his own destruction. 'Whatsoever you shall sow.... so shall you reap."

Suffering, as seen through the eyes of God, is not an abomination nor a perceived punishment as many may wont to or customarily believe. It's simply a tool, one of many, to work God's purpose... to lift one up to higher ground of hope, faith, courage, glory or splendor. Like gold is passed through fire to come out shining, one must go through some pain to get to the place of joy and happiness. But take heed and pay close attention and learn.

We will never know God's thoughts and ways. But all that we need to do is trust in His work in our lives. It behooves us to understand this well for our peace and joy.

So to my friend and your question, why not try to have a good chat with your God -- He'll help you figure that out. He always does magnificently. God bless you. ----------

A FAMILY IS WHO AND WHAT THEY ARE FOR YOU FOR A REASON, BY GOD'S DESIGN

None in the world or in life can compare to a FAMILY. So I don't understand why still some of us seem to hate our families so much. Why? Is it because they are not what you want them to be? or expect them to be? is it because they are not pretty nor wealthy nor educated nor well-positioned .. or whatever else you think they should be for you?

Sorry to disappoint you but truth is we never really get the family we may want. Because God does not always give us what we want. But He does give us what we need.

And what is it that we need?

True Humility ---- to avoid pride or egotism or narcissism.
Good Perspective ---- to avoid putting down our priorities on the unessential
Unflagging Hope ---- to trust in our abilities to survive and achieve goals and dreams
Steady Faith ---- to fall back on when life gets tough and tougher
Common Sense ---- to see and recognize our gold... in life, in things, in people
Courage ---- to be who we are when the world aims to turn us into clones & zombies

And who else can teach, show, or remind us of all that? By being just who they are, our families (they may know this or not) become the reservoir from which we pluck out all the good stuff for our own learning. That is ..... if we are paying close attention.

God gave us our families not just for the visible roles that they are tasked to play in our lives but to serve the purpose God intended to serve the bigger picture of our existence. A family is who and what they are.......... by God's design.

May God's grace and blessing pour out on all families here in Blogspot and out there in the world. Love your families. They're not perfect, true. But they are what you need.

THE HABIT OF VERY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE

A nephew online asked me this question --- " Tita (aunt), so what's the habit of very successful people?" --

The answer? --- It's being able to get up every time you fall.

Everybody has a dream tucked up somewhere there in the mind and heart. Big dreams, small dreams, big goals, small goals, big ambitions, small ambitions. It's all beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you that it's just a waste of time because there's no guarantee that you may get it or even come close, or so they think. Although I could agree on that 'no guarantee' bit because indeed there's plenty of obstacles or hurdles to conquer, sometimes can be quite overwhelming and might make you want to give up, and the unpleasant unexpected can rear its ugly head down the road... thus may affect decisions or actions. But we've read a lot bout other people's success stories, haven't we, and do know what the common denominator was or is --- It's being able to get up every time you fall.

Thomas Edison failed a thousand times. I'm not saying we would. What am saying is he tried a thousand times before finally coming to one that really worked. In essence that is what will happen with the rest of us... stumble and fall 10 maybe 20 times to say the least, but we're expected to pick ourselves up 10 or 20 times too and start all over again -- and perhaps for another round maybe of falling and getting up again. But get up we must. That's the trick that gets the dream.

The same trick that would get you your dream job or position, career or profession, medals, awards, titles, recognition. Name it, you can have it. Use the trick. ------------

Somebody said this, to quote.....

"The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience." Unquote.

COURAGE IS A QUIET VOICE SOMETIMES

------ Who hasn't passed through tough times? Maybe someone out there is going through one right now. Hard as it may be to listen to family and good friends' well-meaning efforts to help you... lending their own faith, strength and courage, it still behooves you to listen and listen well. When in the midst of pain we can't usually think straight. So we need others to think for us. Oh yes, sometimes we need to do that. We should learn to borrow their minds in lieu of our fuzzy brains. They say that it's easier to size things up when you're outside the issue and being objective about it. That's what they can do for you. At least listen.

That being said, we know that Life is tough. God himself said that but He did promise that He would be with us through it all. So understanding that very well will help you deal with life's challenges in better form. You will begin to find the courage you thought no longer existed. But wait a sec, don't expect courage to come blazing away a clear smooth path for you to tread on. It doesn't usually happen that way. Sometimes courage comes in so quietly you'd miss it if you weren't paying close attention. Sometimes it's just a small voice inside nudging you to try one more time. Try one more time, one more hope, one more faith, one more prayer, one more day. ----------

TO COMPLETE OR COMPLEMENT ANOTHER

Was reading this book sometime back (Insignificant one, by a not yet famous writer who could be one day. Who can tell.) and one line struck me, spoken by one female character 'I love you because you complete me.' Nice huh? Aww so romantic..

But I don't buy that. What if something happened and the relationship went pfft and the fella went off to Alaska or to the moon or ran off with another girl... then what does that make of you? That makes you incomplete? Meaning you can no longer function as a normal human being without him? That you become less than whole because a part of you is with the other? Oh okay, maybe I'm taking that quite literally but kidding aside am just stressing a point. Because I think that's not a good line to use.. even if it were simply meant to tickle a lovestruck heart, yours or the other's.

Have you ever thought about this... that You can't let or allow anyone to define you or your life for whatever reason, not even for love. Dependence on another is okay to a certain extent maybe but certainly not when it takes away a part of you or even just a teeny weeny bit of you, or so you romantically think.

Complete may not be the right word here. Because complete may indeed fill up a void but it's not necessarily by or with love. Rather try using the word complement. Complement does not take away; rather it adds itself to another in such a loving understanding magnanimous manner, capacity and intent.

Someone said this, to quote.....

"Never say that someone completes you. We have to feel whole even when we are by ourselves, for needing a person is not love but dependency. Wanting a person to become a part of your life is the best reason for having them. So rather than search for the someone who will complete you, wait for the person that will complement your completeness." Unquote.

LISTENING and SILENCE

This is interesting >>>> "The word LISTEN contains the same letters as the word SILENT." (Anon.)

Listening and silence are two words which we seem to be quite incapable of doing. Well, more often than not, it seems. It is like we need a lot of noise or busyness or activity or distractions around us to function. But.. What is wrong with silence.. isn't it just the perfect setting to come to terms with self and to make sense of the world outside? To get to the core of things one needs to peel off the frills and unnecessary superficial layers that hide the truth or gems within. And noise does a very good job of blocking from us what we should be seeing in truth and honesty.

Silence too makes listening possible and easier. And maybe that's why both contain the same letters because they are twin siblings hard to take apart. One can't exist without the other. -------