Nuthin' Spesh...

Nothing earth-shattering or new...just in the limbo stages between transfers. On Tuesday I had the usual blood work and ultrasound done. Everything is ok except that my lining is "quite thin". It's a bit unnerving considering it's a main reason for a failed transfer, but the nurse told me that the doctor is putting me on a certain drug to thicken the lining. I can't remember the name of the drug, but when they are offering me information without too much prying, I am NOT going to push my luck...but it was different than just Estrace/estrogen. Anything to supercharge growth down there is ok by me.

S (my lovely donor) has sent the occasional email from Mexico. It is always so nice to hear from her. She's so sweet and sincere and always concerned and praying for us. I'm so glad she is the donor, I couldn't imagine anyone else at this point. She hasn't had a period since...well since we induced one and it wasn't impressive, but prior to that it was in Finland late last summer. I think the clinic is having her in when she returns from Mexico to see if they can help get her cycles back to normal...and of course we will help her as much as we can.

This week is Day 21 (Thursday) and I go in for another routine check - just to see what's going on down there.

On a more personal note, the staff at the clinic have been really great. There's been a shift in the way everyone communicates and it's really lightened the mood. I hope it's truly sincere on their part although who knows... That's the thing about private business. Do they really want to be nice and have a much smoother interaction with their customers/patients? Or are they scared of losing their jobs?

At this point the motivating factor doesn't really matter - I'm just going to roll with it!

Oh it sucks, you know it does...but it is a necessary evil. And one can't deny that the feeling once it's DONE is like no other. I've been really trying to stay on track since my coach/motivator/BFF/work partner and fashion twin is having a baby - TODAY, yes today I said. They just broke her water and she texted me "we'll see what happens now." Its uber exciting since she doesn't know what she's having. Anyhoo, she exercised her entire pregnancy, right up until the 11th hour so I have only been partnerless for about 3 weeks... and to be clear about how much she motivates me, its been about 3 weeks since I exercised.

But this week I got back in the game. Tuesday I ran the trail, Thursday and then again this morning. That's not bad considering I can talk myself out exercising every.single.time, which is why little miss "what else would you be doing for the next hour?" or, "you'll feel so great once it's done" or, "we're going Lisa, don't even try to get out of it." was so good for me.

Why she so disciplined? Hmmmm??

As I sprint towards my 42 birthday, I find it much easier to relax and have a savory snack, than to gear up for an hour of torture. But today's run was good, and I've been adding a little bit of extra torture just because if I'm already torturing myself, I might as well do it good. So I have been attempting to cross the bridge in lunges. On Thursday I got a third of the way across before the legs began to tremble, and today I made it half way.

Progress.

Tonight is Biryani House with the Biryani Gang- our favorite Indian restaurant...and I would just like to add that it is some of the most tastiest Indian food ever. Now I can eat guilt free knowing I took a few calories off today's total.

Look what the cat dragged in...

It’s me! Back from the dead…or the huge crank I had on from the surgery and the weeks that followed. I should apologize for my absence…I have often thought of the blog, but well, I have been feeling rather lobotomized lately – void of thought or creativity. I’m certain I’ve lost some of my loyal readership, which is unfortunate because for a while there I was up to a buck and a quarter on an “important news” day…which was a great accomplishment, especially considering I know only about 7 people. My “Google Analytics” tracking shows that interest in my blog has plummeted an impressive 62%. I did it to myself…I did.

A bit about me. Well I wonder on just about an hourly basis if the D&C procedure really worked. I know I had a balloon in there for about a week and continued to eat fistfuls of Estrace tablets, but one can’t be sure. The doctor did seem optimistic when I had the balloon removed, but in my crazy mind I picture it all slowly caving in towards itself and sticking back together again.

Is the real estate now good enough for my ice bubs?

A fellow blogger referred me to a great donor egg forum…it has been fascinating and eye opening. I am not alone and many women exactly like me have had to try 2 or more egg donors before becoming successful. A lot of women get donors through agencies, and despite age and medical testing for the donor, end up with nothing. NOTHING. I simply cannot imagine. I believe as the recipients (people like me) get wiser, the agencies have to change their policies. There are a lot of agencies that are now doing insured cycles, meaning that the recipients won’t be out of pocket should the cycle be a disaster. One woman mentioned that she paid the agency fee of $6,800, waited for the donor to be free to cycle and found out she had gotten married and had become pregnant and the woman lost all of her money.

Insult to injury.

But it’s been a great resource and I’m happy to have been referred there. A woman told me the other day that the only two times she has ever been pregnant in her entire life was with her son and with her daughter, and both were from frozen embryo transfers…which I am about to do.

So just when I thought I was completely out of hope, I’ve managed to scrape a tiny little bit more off the bottom.