Filler Posts...for the down times...

Its hard being a perfectionist...isn't it dad?

Yes, I'm blaming you - you made me this way because you're so damn precise yourself. I have expectations to live up to, I can't be slapping things together all willy nilly...it has to be done right. I'm certain the 50 calls I have put into my father, woodworker extroidinare, has completely irritated him, but that is the job of "dad" so suck it up.

It all began when we decided to grow up and get rid of our IKEA bouncy chairs - yes the adult version of the baby bouncy. They have no business being in our living room, and for years I have threatened to get rid of them. So began the search for replacement chairs - ones that both Chris and I liked, fit into that tiny space without overtaking it, and were within the budget. Good luck. 5 years later and I have found the chairs. Oh no wait, I found the chairs last year but they were from Thomasville and were $1,400 each...but you know, we are not dripping in diamonds. But I found a really cheap replica...like in In Style magazine or House and Home where they have the richy rich version, the average version and then the cheapy IKEA version. Well these are the average version. So...$349 US, to be delivered from the States, but after factoring in shipping, taxes, duty, brokerage, mood and time of month, they are actually costing us one million dollars. Well no, they are ending up to be $750 each. But blimey how did that happen?

After much discussion, the husband and I decided that grown up people make hard decisions and have to spend money (and feel sick) sometimes. So we pushed the "purchase" button and are now waiting for our magic chairs...that will mostly likely suck and be completely uncomfortable. The end. Oh no wait, I was getting to the story of the table. Well the table was purchased for me by my mother when I first moved here to Toronto. It was a good solid piece in a light color - IKEA yes, but not particle board - a good/nice coffee table - substantial and it wasn't cheap. I am staining it dark to align more with the chairs. It is a good size too and works well in the living room. I was at a friends house for brunch today and we talked about mixing expensive pieces with cheap pieces - being "eclectic" in decoration, which is exactly what we're doing, although not by choice, by default because now we don't have the money for even a cheap coffee table, or food for that matter. Anyway, I have, for 2 weeks now, been sanding, conditioning, resanding, staining, shellacking, sanding, fixing, etc. etc. I am done with it and I don't even know if it will work in the room. I have also spent a small fortune on conditioner, sanding papers, stain, brushes and shellac.

We shall see.

Stay tuned for before/after pics.

This n' That

I kindof wish sometimes Chris was head over heels in love with me, like worshiped the ground I walked on. But then when I think about it, and if that were the case, I would never have married him. I would have been irritated. THANKFULLY Chris is consistently unimpressed by me, so you need not worry.

I kid - we get along, mostly. We seem to have a fun thing going on, but at the same time we are so totally opposite! Night and day. When I have the most energy, he has the least...and when he has the most, I have the least. He's a night owl, I'm a morning girl. He turns right, I turn left. I want bacon, he wants a sticky bun. He wants to be alone, I want to socialize. He drives me nuts and I'm certain I drive him nuts back. Can this kind of love be enduring? Who knows? Is YOUR love "enduring"? I do know that there's always something about Chris that keeps me coming back for more. He's kindof handsome, we'll give him that...he's quite charming really, and he's funny as hell! I don't think people realize how funny he is because if he's not 100% comfortable, he's more "polite" but there is something he does every single day that makes me almost pee my pants.

Enough with the Cmac Adoration Society already, this blog is about me and its been a long time in coming.

The surgery is still scheduled for June 4 but I have put in a call to "Shirley" the coordinator to see if it can be moved up a little. I don't mind the timing of things really, but I am twiddling my thumbs for 2 months and the sooner I recover the faster we can move onto an IVF. I feel like things aren't going fast enough - I'm getting twitchy again. One can't fully understand what its like to have NOTHING going on each month, especially at my age. 2 months feels like 2 years when you're 40 and trying to get knocked up.

So surgery in June, possibly sooner...IVF September? October? I am to heal as best as possible before attempting an IVF. Also, My FSH levels will be checked before starting stims and if my levels for that month are crapola then no IVF that month. I like that idea.

Sometimes, however, I think to myself that this is like gardening. You can have the best soil possible - ready to go and rich with nutrients, but a bad seed is a bad seed. It does worry me - all this uterus landscaping is great - but my eggs still suck. I really hope this new doc really meant what he said and that he really CAN DO BETTER with the drug protocol. He said he could - I hope he wasn't just being cocky "I am god" doc to get our business. I would like to see a couple of embryos thrive - that's not asking too much is it? Maybe even one or two to freeze? Ok now I'm pushing my luck.