part 4

part one here, part two here, part three here. You can see a recap of photos here.

The following days were some of the hardest days of our lives.

We were overcome with joy and love for the little boy that carried the name that we chose for him. We celebrated the arrival of a new little spirit here on earth, but my heart was heavy as I watched Korin cradle and hug and kiss Gage. You could see the love she had for him. You could feel it.

We didn't see Gage much during the next two days. We tried to give Korin as much space as we could bare. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to support her. I wanted her to know of the love we had for her. We did what we thought best. We waited. We went to movies, we went window shopping, we waited in the waiting room hoping that by chance we'd get to see a glimpse of our baby. It was so hard to know that just down the hall, there was a little babe, hopefully our babe. I wanted to hold him and tell him I loved him. We waited some more.

We were able to see him a couple of times on Thursday. Korin was so sweet. When she knew we were at the hospital, she wanted us to be with Gage. She wanted us to hold him. I loved watching her with him.

Thursday night was hard. You can read more about that here. Dustyn and I hung out at our ghetto hotel and prepared Korin's package.

(Here is where I tell you that I kind of combined a few days into one, so my post is not so accurate. Here is the timeline of events, to clear up any confusion. Ha ha
Wednesday, March 24 - Korin is in labor, we head to the hospital.
Thursday, March 25 @ 12:05 a.m. - Gage arrives.
Friday, March 26 - Placement Day
Saturday, March 27 - Gage and Korin are released from the hospital.)

Friday was placement day. At 2:00 p.m. Dustyn and I had stalled and waited as long as we could to head to the hospital. We gave ourselves over an hour to get there. We figured we'd be in the waiting room for 45 minutes or so. We headed out. We were heading south on I-15 when the freeway came to a standstill. We were stuck. We were stuck for a long time.

I was panicking.

How stupid would we look showing up late for placement?

The drive that should have taken 10-15 minutes took us almost an hour. The longest hour ever.

Thankfully we made it in time. Korin's case worker took us in a room and we read through and signed our paperwork. She then took us in to see Korin. Korin handed me Gage while she completed her paperwork. She was brave, strong, and sure.

That was it, It was done. Gage was our baby.

I held Gage as she opened her presents. We shed a few tears. She gave us an "It's a boy" balloon and some gifts for Gage. I handed Gage back to Korin and we left for the night. The last night away from our baby. We knew Korin would take good care of him and would tell him how much we loved him while we were away.

Dustyn and I tried to find anything to keep us busy, again. I think we went to a movie. We went and got new tires put on our car. (Having our car in tip top condition was suddenly a priority) We bought last minute items. We bought formula. And, we waited.

I don't know how much any of us slept that night.

On Saturday we headed to the hospital to say our goodbyes.

Hardest day ever.

My heart was so full of joy and love as we watched Korin dress Gage in the clothes that we had bought for him. We cried as she swaddled him and looked at him. I didn't want that moment to end.

I didn't want to leave her. I wanted to hug her and cry with her. How could a heart hurt so much when there was so much joy in the world.

We hugged. We cried. We promised to take care of him. We promise to love him. We promised to call when we we made it home safely. We cried some more.

As Korin and her Mom left the room, I sobbed. And sobbed. Loud ugly sobbs. My heart broke into a million pieces, but this babe in my arms caught every piece. He healed my heart again and again. I knew Korin would be okay. She was amazing. She was loving. She had dreams and goals. I knew she would make it. I knew that  some of the most grueling days for her were still ahead. I knew she hurt. More than I could even imagine. But I knew she would be okay.

We drove home.

It was so surreal to be driving home with a BABY in the car seat. I never thought that day would come.

Our lives were changed forever. We are so grateful.

A year later, Korin is doing so well. Our love for her and her family has grown. I am so proud of her and her accomplishments. I know she will do great things as she continues to follow her dreams.