As I was getting for work one night, I was telling Steve it
felt like I had a bug crawling around my bra biting me. I looked down, and found large blisters
forming under my breast. They hurt.
The next morning they had spread, and I went in for a doctor
visit. He confirmed what I thought:
shingles.
He gave me lots of medicine.
Lots. I have pain pills to be
taken three times a day, that will last
me well over a month.
Each day they continued to spread more. They started at the top of my right breast,
circled around and under my breast.
Wrapped under my armpit and clear to my spine.
It knocked me flat on my back. The blisters hurt, I had a constant migraine
for two days. My joints ached especially
my hips and legs. I was in a constant
state of fatigue, and when I walked, the first week my back would throb with
every step took.
Shingles is suppose to last around a month to a month in a
half. I caught it early enough that they
gave me medicine to shorten the duration—whatever that means.
Some of my blisters have started to scab, but I am still
unable to wear a bra.
I feel bad that I have had to cut back on activities with my
kids during this fun time of year. But I
had no choice. I have been begging Steve
to come home early each day because it was too much for me to handle.
They say shingles is brought on by stress. That does not surprise me, nor Steve. Things have been so stressful as of late,
with church being at the top of the list.
I had to ask to be released from my calling—the emotional stress was
just too much for me.
I feel like a leader should be supportive and
understanding. I was working under
someone who had constant criticism for the job I was doing, and never was fully
supportive.
Early this summer I was called to be in the Primary
Presidency as the second counselor. By
September I was demoted to Secretary because the President did not like the job
I was doing. That was a horribly stressful
experience. I did not want to go to
church anymore. But I did. And I said I would try my best.
On the day Luke was being ordained a Deacon, in October, I
had family coming over for food after church.
I needed to run home and put things in the oven, and take things out of
the oven. Not one person in the
presidency helped me cover my duties in the hall, because they felt like they
all needed to be in the Primary room.
That type of experience was continuing to happen until I
could not handle it anymore.
Since then the President’s daughter did not come to Rachel’s
birthday party, this could have thrown me over, even though I tried and have
continued to try to “Let it go.”
The move to Daybreak has not been easy for me, even though I
know it was the right move. Heaven knows
why it was the right move. But the
spirit has confirmed it many times to me.
I have had a lot of time to think, since I have been resting
a lot. One thing this had made me
realize is that I miss my friends from my old neighborhood so much. I wish this city was not so divided by the
East/West perception or perception of distance.
Thank you to my friend Kelly who brought me more food than I
knew what to do with.
Thank you to my sweet kids and husband that try so hard to
take care of me. Maggie came into the
kitchen and told me to go rest and she would take care of everything. J
So I need to figure out how to handle stress a little
better. I thought running helped, I
thought teaching swimming helped, I had even started yoga, and thought that was
helping. They probably all are helping, I just need to
do more to relax. So this New Year I
am going to concentrate more on taking care of myself. From eating, to exercise, to helping my mind
and emotional well being become more healthy.
Wish me luck!
