It's my best friends birthday!

Saturday is my husbands birthday! He does not really love his birthday, and insists on no gifts. Which makes things awkward because his kids are super excited about his birthday. Maggie asked if she could make a gift, "I know how to sew, I could make him a tie." (Maggie's best talent is always thinking of others.)

I wanted to do some special things for Steve. Since he is always making me video's that I love, I thought I would return the favor. However, I have no idea how to make videos. Luke was suppose to help, and got distracted. Which left me alone. I made it so far, and even determination was not going to help in the end. I finally broke down, and Steve had to finish with the technical stuff that I would have never figured out. It is the thought that counts-right?

While looking through these photos, I realized how many special times we have shared and how much I love my husband.

Steve is so great to support me: whether it is going out late with friends, training for a race, helping put the kids to bed because I am exhausted by that point, helping me paint and fix up our houses to become our homes.

Steve is a great dad, husband, worker, and friend. I would be lost without him.

I love the cabin

I posted the above picture to Instagram.

I love it.

I love the beauty of snow covered pine trees!

Sunsets over the ocean are my favorite, pine trees at the cabin are my second favorite!

I love going for walks at the cabin, so invigorating.

I bought the kids snow/brick making toys to make an igloo.

They take after their mom--not enough patience to make an entire igloo.

My favorite picture!

Love Peter.

Love how he is missing so many teeth.

Love how much fun he has!

He was non-stop!

Rachel is hiding behind me.

My beautiful kids.  

I love them!

Luke actually wanted to be with the family!  

I love the beautiful mountains in the background.

At this point all the kids were back at the cabin warming up.

Not Peter.  Steve and I watched with happiness as he played.

Until he took a dive into fresh powder-head first.  

He came up missing a hat.

Then he was ready to head back to the cabin for some warmth.

This little girl was such a trooper.  She was sick, but still tagged along on all the sleigh riding.

Peter putting out the vibe.

Rosey cheeks!  

Everything is a race with this girl.

She had to be the first one down the hill--every time!

This is me, right before we left.

It was snowing lightly.

This is not a site you see everyday.

shingles

As I was getting for work one night, I was telling Steve it felt like I had a bug crawling around my bra biting me.  I looked down, and found large blisters forming under my breast.  They hurt.

The next morning they had spread, and I went in for a doctor visit.  He confirmed what I thought: shingles.

He gave me lots of medicine.  Lots.  I have pain pills to be taken three times  a day, that will last me well over a month. 

Each day they continued to spread more.  They started at the top of my right breast, circled around and under my breast.  Wrapped under my armpit and clear to my spine. 

It knocked me flat on my back.  The blisters hurt, I had a constant migraine for two days.  My joints ached especially my hips and legs.  I was in a constant state of fatigue, and when I walked, the first week my back would throb with every step took.

Shingles is suppose to last around a month to a month in a half.  I caught it early enough that they gave me medicine to shorten the duration—whatever that means.

Some of my blisters have started to scab, but I am still unable to wear a bra. 

I feel bad that I have had to cut back on activities with my kids during this fun time of year.  But I had no choice.  I have been begging Steve to come home early each day because it was too much for me to handle. 

They say shingles is brought on by stress.  That does not surprise me, nor Steve.  Things have been so stressful as of late, with church being at the top of the list.  I had to ask to be released from my calling—the emotional stress was just too much for me. 

I feel like a leader should be supportive and understanding.  I was working under someone who had constant criticism for the job I was doing, and never was fully supportive. 

Early this summer I was called to be in the Primary Presidency as the second counselor.  By September I was demoted to Secretary because the President did not like the job I was doing.    That was a horribly stressful experience.  I did not want to go to church anymore.  But I did.  And I said I would try my best.   

On the day Luke was being ordained a Deacon, in October, I had family coming over for food after church.  I needed to run home and put things in the oven, and take things out of the oven.  Not one person in the presidency helped me cover my duties in the hall, because they felt like they all needed to be in the Primary room. 

That type of experience was continuing to happen until I could not handle it anymore.

Since then the President’s daughter did not come to Rachel’s birthday party, this could have thrown me over, even though I tried and have continued to try to “Let it go.”

The move to Daybreak has not been easy for me, even though I know it was the right move.  Heaven knows why it was the right move.  But the spirit has confirmed it many times to me. 

I have had a lot of time to think, since I have been resting a lot.  One thing this had made me realize is that I miss my friends from my old neighborhood so much.  I wish this city was not so divided by the East/West perception or perception of distance. 

Thank you to my friend Kelly who brought me more food than I knew what to do with.  

Thank you to my sweet kids and husband that try so hard to take care of me.  Maggie came into the kitchen and told me to go rest and she would take care of everything.  J

So I need to figure out how to handle stress a little better.  I thought running helped, I thought teaching swimming helped, I had even started yoga, and thought that was helping.    They probably all are helping, I just need to do more to relax.    So this New Year I am going to concentrate more on taking care of myself.  From eating, to exercise, to helping my mind and emotional well being become more healthy. 

Wish me luck! 

 This is what covers half of my body!

Grateful

I am grateful for this holiday season.

One of our must-do traditions, is to visit temple square.

After family dinner at my moms on Sunday we headed downtown.

I am grateful we were able to squeeze this in.

Because since then.....

-the weather has tuned much colder

and

-I HAVE SHINGLES!!!

My kids always complain when walking around,

but we get pretty good at ignoring.  :-)

My sweet Peter has been an emotional wreck as of late.

He does not like school and fights and cries in the mornings.

He told me..."all I can think about at school, is coming home."

and sometimes he cries because he says he misses me.

It makes me grateful that we have a warm and loving home

that my children come home to.

In his prayers at night he says 

"I am grateful for a family on earth that loves me so much,

for a mom that likes to give me hugs,

and  sister that likes  to play with me."

I am grateful for Peters prayers.

He talks to his Heavenly Father with a surety that he is listening and watching over him.

Last night he was thankful that he could make a book for his mom at school.

Then he added...."Heavenly Father, you know how hard I worked on it."

It melted my heart, and I was grateful!

I am so grateful for my family.

My heart breaks for the families that lost loved ones recently,

for I know how much parents love their children.

There have been many tributes as of late, but so far this is my favorite.  I love how every name is represented.  So touching and emotional. 

love

It wasn't until late Friday night, that we finally had time to talk to our kids about the tragic events of the day.  I was astonished that Luke especially had not heard anything about this, as he is on his ipod all day.  I was thankful for other parents for sheilding my kids until I could talk to them.

As we sat down our two oldest children to talk about the tragedy at the elementary school in Connecticut, I we explained the difference between good and evil.    We talked about how this was an evil act, and how our natural instincts make us want to be scared.  Yet that is Satan's plan.  He want's us to live in a constant state of fear.  We contrasted that with the Lords plan.  Hope.  He wants us to always have hope.  That is why he has given us the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation, and the knowledge that we are Forever families, if we choose to follow and accept his words.

Then Maggie said something that stuck with me.  She said this made her really sad.  "Mom, doesn't sadness make you feel love for others?" 

Yes, it does make you feel Love.  And I thought about how many people in America and around the world, were feeling love for others at this time.  So many, many people for were feeling love. Satan and the shooter did not win, for love was and is in abundance at this time.

I also have thought about the timing of this event.  Christmas.  The season where everyone should be so happy and feel peace.  Although that has been taken away, many voices and hearts are turning to God.  Recognizing his existence.  Recognizing his power.     Whether we were already praying daily or not, humanity has been forced to turn to a higher power.   Christmas is about God's son, and their is no better way to celebrate than to recognize his existence in our lives, and rely on him to help us/others through this difficult time.

I like everyone else have these families in my heart and my prayers.   Heaven must be much brighter when all these wonderful children and heroes arrived.  Unfortunately earth lost the light brought by these individuals.  I know that one day we will know for a surety that we will see our loved ones again.

Seriously. They are so cute!

As we were taking our family Christmas card photo,

I caught these two sharing some happy moments.

I love them.

They are so stinkin cute.

I am a lucky mom.

whats new....

Updates on the family...

Peter:  Peter is our funny little dude.  We love him so much.  He is always wearing his new hat.  He liked to wear his brothers that was similar, until brother put his foot down and would no longer share.

Pete got a new one, and Luke is jealous.  

Peter is loving Chinese immersion.  The first month or so were exhausting him, but he has settled in.

Peters favorite thing to do is play with friends, play minecraft, play trip on the tramp with his dad,

and snuggle with anyone willing.  He takes swim lessons on Saturdays, and will soon start Jr. Jazz

basketball, and is begging for karate.  

But....

the most exciting thing happening to Pete, is he is loosing teeth like crazy.

He is now officially missing his two front teeth.  Just in time for Christmas.

One of his loose teeth receded back into his gums...it was odd.

He pulled the last one out himself, and when the tooth fairy only gave him $3, he 

layed on the floor saying "this is the worst gift ever!"

Rachel:  is almost five.  She goes to preschool 3 days a week and recently started taking dance lessons at the gym.  I think she now weighs more than Peter.  She is very heavy to lift, with the cutest chubby thighs.  

Rachel talks with a slight lisp, and cannot pronounce her R's or K's.  It is still in the cute stage, but am sure that will change soon.  

Rachel lets you know when she is not happy, which is quite often.  She loves playing with friends.

Cabin trip:  The day after Thanksgiving we ventured up to the cabin for a day trip.  It was so much fun.  We had hot chocolate, walked around, relaxed and went sleigh riding on what snow we could find.  The snow was very icy, and you could not slow down to save your life.  Steve stayed at the bottom to catch the kids, and the outcome was very funny.......

Luke:  This kid is growing up too fast.  He is always with friends.  Always. I am glad he has friends because it is very important to him.  Luke spends a lot of time in his man cave of a room.  

He very much dislikes his teacher at school.  But manges to do well.  He is part of the math Olympiads,

where they spend time each day learning more advanced math and compete against other schools.

Luke also gave his first talk in Sacrament today.  He looked so nice, and did such a great job.

He spoke on spiritual strength. 

He gets to church early to set up chairs as well.

Steve and I are not sure he is really our child.....

Luke is on the Lifetime Fitness USA swim team.  

He works out 3 times a week-it is suppose to be 4 but I let him sleep in on Saturdays.  

Luke is also heavily involved in Scouts.

His last camp out was in the worst and very cold snow storm.

They ate bear meat, moose meat and widdled their own spoons.

It is hard core!

Maggie:
Maggie is a sweet girl, and is having a hard year.  But she stays busy with swimming 2 times a week.  She is very fast for a girl who is inconsistent about making practices.  Defiantly a natural swimmer.  She also does a hip hop dance team at the gym for 2 hours a week.  

Her cousin married a BYU track athlete.  She is awesome and even made a ESPN comercial.  She recently gave Maggie a new track shirt and shorts.  They were a little big, but Maggie does not care, and wears them day and night.  

Maggie has a BFF, Addy.  They are just peas in a pod.  For good or bad.

This picture was at Halloween.  Love them.

Other random pictures.....

warming up by the fire at the cabin this week.

It was colder inside the cabin than out.

Pete was getting really good at the marshmallow toss.

Or Jesse was just a good aim.

Post Thanksgiving dinner hike at Red Butte.

Man, I miss running on these trails.

BTW...thanksgiving dinner consisted of sitting at the kids table.

We were at the in laws: Enough said, right?

Also,  I am super excited because I just found out I am running the Ogden Marathon in May.  It is a lottery, and I did not make the first round draw, and was super bummed.  They did a second draw, since many in the first round did not pay during the slotted time.

This is going to be a huge challenge for me, but I am ready to try.  

Halloween

I have posted this picture on facebook, but wanted to document it for all those who are not on the social media site. 

Steve and I got invited to a neighborhood Halloween party. 

It has been a rough last month.  Really rough.  I have questioned why we moved to  Daybreak many times.  I think I am the only one in my family who is really struggling, everyone else loves it. 
Honestly I love a lot of things about Daybreak: my house, the neighborhood, all the children, my BFF Stacie, the beautiful trails and houses.  But there is one thing I am struggling with--our ward.  It has brought me tears more than I should admit, but that is a post for another time. 

But when we got invited to this party, it was heaven sent.  I needed to know that their were others in our ward who were not like the ones who were hurting me.

We had a great time, and embarrassed ourselves completely!

Here are the pics. 

We were "Runners with a cause".  If you could see Steve's shirt, it read "National Erectile Dysfunction Awareness".  

I found my jacket at the DI.  The shorts are xxsmalls, and I wear a medium.  Steve borrowed his shorts from his nephew (don't ask)  and sported his new stache to church the next day.  Oh the Bishop noticed....

a little freaked out

On our cabin trip this weekend, we saw two of these!

Badgers!

They were close!  

They were not afraid of us!

But...

we were afraid!

He saw us.  Stopped.  Waddled across the street towards us.

Went under one side of the road, and out the other.

And looked right at us.

He is licking his chops.

I think he wants to eat us.

Weekend

Love weekend getaways with my family.

We left Friday afternoon, stopped for dinner in Park City and continued to the cabin.

I had to go back and work Sat. morning, but this way the family could enjoy more time at the cabin.

I am only allowed to take off one day a month, and have to call all the parents if I have a sub, so sometimes it is just easier to work.  

The kids mentioned continously how much fun they were having.

Luke recognizes how peaceful it is to be in nature.

On Sunday morning Steve and I took a hike.  

We found what we always thought to be a river, was actually a spring.

This past week has been a rough one.

I have been so sad, stressed out, and a little angry. 

On Friday I packed the kids in the car, and drove to my parents cabin.

We were only there for four hours,

but totally worth it.

Such a peaceful atmosphere.

We loved it.

Luke turns 12 in a week or so.  

Makes me feel old.

Oh I am old.  ;-)

How sweet is Rachel?

This kid has been watching The Avengers.

Name that Avenger....

Iron Man!

Not the most photogenic day for my children...

but pick your battles.

I am just happy they came with me.

I hate sitting home on Fridays while they play with their friends,

I get cabin fever.
This time it was the good cabin fever.

Happy Fall!