birthday

i keep postponing the task of updating this blog until i have some free time but any free time that i do get i'd rather spend sleeping and just watching tv. so i'll just do it now in between putting taariq to sleep. he wakes up whenever i put him down. i guess he wants my undivided attention while he can get it. it'll be hard to do so when i go back to work.

random topics i wanna write about;

burping
hiccups
aqiqah
confinement
baby baths

for now i'd like to write about my birthday, 27th june.

i'm 26 now.

this year, i wasn't really psyched out about my birthday. there's no one around besides mak. ayah went to kl. taariq's a baby so he doesnt count. this is the 2nd year i celebrate my birthday as a wife but with hubby far away. last year, it was during btn in kuala lipis pahang. this year, hubby is in klang while i'm in skudai.

but i have much to be thankful for. my sisters and a couple of friends SMSed birthday wishes. alhamdulillah an upset kakyung is talking to me again despite the deep hurt that i caused her. i bergayut on the phone with kakyung, sibah and uswah. quite a number of people gave birthday wishes via facebook.

i didnt really do much today other than watching tv and resting.

this year, i received only one birthday present but it was the greatest of all... TAARIQ! and it or he came early too.

confinement

i wanna write my whole experience of pregnancy during h.o.ship, labour, n being a mommy but thats kinda hard to do now while breastfeeding.

maybe later.

scary moment

yup, i was actually terrified. for my baby that is.

my friends babies are out oredi. mine has 6 weeks to go huhu.

yesterday, saturday was a half day at work. however i still went back at 3.30 as i had to finish my discharges first. kak syikin discharged a lot of pts and i had to cover a few of my colleague's pts as she had to go for her call.

hubby picked me up and we went to giant. i was dehydrated, full-bladdered, and hadnt prayed yet. in the toilet at giant i noted that there was some pv staining in my undies. was worried but didnt want to think much about it. good thing for panty liners.

at night i went to send hubby to in-laws at rantau panjang. he had a programme. noted there was still some pv staining. after diner, i drove back home alone worried but i couldnt go to the hosp without my antenatal book which was at the apartment. i'd be skinned alive if i did that. good thing too coz geetha was oncall that night. so i planned to go the next day and asked my colleague to cover me.

i woke up several times in the night but slept back again and finally woke up at 6.30am. there was still some staining and it looked rather fresh which made me worry even more. messaged the h.o leader and he advised me to take emergency leave. then i noticed that it was only 6am and had plenty of time. since i didnt have to rush for work i took the time to do laundry and ate breakfast leisurely.

then at 7am+ i went to PAC (patient asessment centre) where all antenatal pts are screened. dashant and smitha were oncall. the nurses on duty were also nice. i did a ctg. penat gak tunggu 20 mins without being able to move. alhamdulillah it was reactive. next was to do a scan. i had to wait for the 8am m.o to come coz the one before that was kak gee. she's just horrible. didnt want get extra traumatized. so i went up to the labour room to see whether any m.o or specialist was there who could help me confirm that my placenta was not praevia. i doubted that abruptio could be a cause since i had no risk factor and my abdomen was soft. baby was moving and kicking about but i was still worried. when i went up, bumped into dr m (specialist yg garang gak) n i didnt go the labour room. thot i'd go buy something from the cafe while waiting for dr fadzilah the specialist oncall today. she's nice. on the way, i met dr anita, registrar ong n i told her of my worries. she then did a perspeculum examination and said there was some cervical ectropion otherwise os is closed. she took a hvs. alhamdulillah. was always afraid of the perspeculum the most. then she scanned me and confirmed that placenta was posterior upper segment.

alhamdulillah it was just a minor problem. cervical ectropions are common in pregnancy and need not be treated. waited for a while to get the mc as the nurse who kept it was busy. so i filled up my own forms and asked my colleague to take my fbc and baseline rp/ua.

with that anxiety alleviated, i went to the ward and stayed back for a while before heading home. hubby wasnt around so i ate lunch while watching "the blind side". the movie was touching. shed a few tears. purely hormones i tell ya.

i had a very malas day. have loads of house chores to do but am procrastinating.

k, thats all i wanna share.

p.s i love u baby. hopefully no more scares until 4 more weeks when u become term n all ready for this world.


changes that im experiencing currently:

enlarging abdomen
(effect:difficult to do simple things like getting up from the floor or when lying down or wearing my socks)

protruding belly button (looks awful)

limited bladder expansion (jadi asek nak terkencing je)

limited clothes choices as i cant fit into most of my pants n undies. good thing my shirts and blouses are always xtra large in the first place. they suit me nicely now and sometimes hide my belly that ppl dont notice it until i waddle about like a penguin.

medical

wow cant remember the last time i had the chance to go online. nearly thot this place got closed down due to prolong disuse.

lots has happened.

im renting an apartment near the hosp. tak payah kacau inlaws lagi dah hehe

now can use all the lovely wedding presents i got yay! i love azza's chopping board and shida's bekas2 and the periuk set.

been wanting to move out since ages but kinda hard to find a place for rent around here. klang is soo congested.

kinda preparing the space for baby who is 30 weeks already and happily playing futsal on my bladder and abdominal wall everyday.

lotsof friends have given birth.

have to buy baby presents and also baby stuff. now i only have sepasang baju hadiah from faizah hehe.

owh im in medical now. its tiring. fullstop. lots of pts. its smelly. so unhygienic. so cluttered.. im zombified postcall. setakat ni slalu assigned to bloodtaking mase postcall then can go home at 1. but tu pun tak larat jugak..

k, thats all.

baby movements

quickening. the first motion of a fetus in the uterus felt by the mother usually somewhat before the middle of the period of gestation. in primigravida's or 1st time moms, its usually felt at 18-20 weeks.

i felt mine yesterday, at 19 weeks. alhamdulillah.

i had started to worry since the only signs of my baby's existence were my absence of monthly periods and persistent vomiting (yep, im still having occasional vomits which leave a very bitter taste in my throat despite being in my second trimester).

now i can feel the baby making small thuds like knocking on my womb to remind me he/she is here. no football sessions or somersaults yet.

i'm due for a check up sometime this week. i'll just ask my m.o to scan me since i'm in the department (which doesnt really welcome pregnant doctors)

despite my enjoyment on the baby's kicks, i was so depressed today as i had a vasovagal attack while assisting a caesarian section. it was the 1st caeser of the day, and i was the one who had requested to be put in the OT, then i had to spoil it by getting a pre-syncopal attack. now my m.o doesnt trust me to assist caesers. i dont trust meself too.

i felt very down in the dumps the whole day thinking about my empty section for the caesers in my logbook. my spirits were worsened by a vomiting episode which caused an increase in intrabdominal pressure and pressed on a full bladder rendering me incontinent. then , i went to pray and slept for a while. alhamdulillah there wasnt much ward work.

ok, i have to get some sleep. am oncall tomorrow at PAC.

uhuk uhuk

i've been having a chronic cough for over a month already.

but thats not the reason for me having not been able to update.

loads of things have happened.

most important of all is that i'm in my 14th week of gestation. have been having hyperemesis for quite a while but nit to the extent of it distrupting my work. i am extra tired most of the time.

finished paeds 2 weeks ago.

currently am in o&g.

only one comment. htar klang sucks!

apart from that, i'm terribly homesick!

kay, have a nice day everyone :)

life outside of the hospital

i guess it helps a lot in maintaining my sanity.

when i go home to my husband and in-laws, i forget about the patients, the scoldings by m.o's and specialists, the great expectations, the plentiful rounds and my many inadequacies.

life at home offers that change of environment and relief.

i do like going to work. its just some times when i screw up and get depressed that i feel like running away and quitting. jealous jugak tengok my friends enjoying their job.

sometimes i just feel numb and blur.

a colleague of mine is taking an online course in finance from harvard while doing EOD calls.. he says it keeps him going through the tough times.

moral of the story: one needs another life apart from the medical world to remain balanced.

i cant wait for raya holidays. i get 3 days plus another 4 days after that. something to look forward to on bleak days hehe.