Saying goodbye to Diesel

I have been avoiding blogging just so I didn't have to write this post. Jeremy and I had noticed Diesel getting older and run down. He stopped going up and down the stairs, and avoided walking on our wood floor because he was nervous of falling. His back legs would give out and then he couldn't get back up. He still seemed happy, but just didn't get around as well. Then we started noticing him having accidents right in front of us & having a harder time getting around to where we were just carrying him around everywhere. I knew he was getting older but hoped there was something that could be done to relieve his pain. Jeremy took him into the vet & he basically said that there was a surgery he could do to fix the discs in Diesels back which were causing him problems. Although the there was only a 50% chance it would help & he still didn't have much longer. They gave him a cortizone shot & sent him home. We noticed he was more chipper and could move around better after the shot, but it only lasted a day. We knew it was time to say good bye to our beloved dog, and scheduled to have him put down after the weekend.

Those next couple days were some of the hardest I can remember. I literally cried for three days on and off. Every time I looked at him I cried, it was so awful thinking about letting this companion go that had gotten me thru so many hard times. I felt badly for not taking better care of him, or giving him more attention especially when the kids came along. We took Diesel with us everywhere that weekend. In the car, and to the park. 

The night before we were to put Diesel down we threw a birthday/going away party for him with the boys. I wanted my kids to remember what a good dog he was and to celebrate him. We went to pet co and the boys helped me pick out a bunch of treats. They were very excited to be able to give Diesel all his food for his birthday & we decorated a little corner of the house. 

The next day was very hard saying our final goodbyes. Makes me never want to get a dog again, knowing the pain it causes to lose them. Afterwards though I did feel at peace knowing he was no longer in pain & in a better place. 
Kingsley constantly asked about Diesel & heaven, and cried that he wanted Diesel back which was heartbreaking for me. He kept saying is Jesus babysitting him?
The thing I miss most is walking into the house & not having his sweet cheerful spirit greet me. He was such a great dog and we will miss him greatly.

Not sure Hudson will remember Diesel, but at least I can show the boys these pictures.

Here I am about 6 months pregnant. Miss that cuddly chubby dog.

Until we meet again Diesel, we love and miss you!