Ode to the Maple Laffs

Can't fathom how they are worth anyone's valued time.

We've talked about this.

Maple Laffs could push Mr. Rogers over the brink.

Yes, save the children, one by one.

Because a Cup sure ain't in the future any time soon.

So sad. So true.

Goalies, goalies, goalies

Tuukka Rask took a risk - and also took years off the life of every Bruins fan...

Have we not talked about this? Why yes, we have. But clearly it needs to be shouted from the rafters - goalies, please stay in your crease. We need you to stop pucks that are shot at the net. 

For 99% of you goaltenders out there, nothing good comes from leaving the crease to pretend you can handle the puck and help your teammates. Stop thinking you are adding value. You are not. 

Enough already.

[Sidenote - I just realized that all my articles with the goaltenders tag feature the Boston Bruins. Why this is, I know not, 'cause I sure ain't no Bruins fan...is it jealousy (being in Toronto and all), or perhaps some dark expression of respect? Yikes.]

Los Angeles Kings just one more example of what's wrong with the NHL

When the Edmonton Oilers set the record for playoff efficiency, they had a roster full of Hall of Famers (including two of the highest career scorers of all time) and had been the best team in the league for years, with several Stanley Cups to prove it.

When the Chicago Bulls blazed through the season to a 72-10 record, they had a roster of Hall of Famers (including arguably both the greatest player and coach of all time) and had been the best team in the league for years with several NBA championships to prove it.

These Los Angeles Kings averaged an anemic 2.3 goals per game through this season (2nd last, one of only two teams that couldn't manage to reach 200 goals in an 82 game season), and could only muster sneaking into the playoffs in the last spot. 

This is not a team that should be flirting with history. Yet here they are doing exactly that.

Boston and racism

Unfortunately, my experiences render this as not surprising at all (reader discretion advised):

More NHL dumbness

A little while ago I observed NHL's oddball culture in how a hurt player's teammates show their concern...by ignoring him altogether, content rather to fight about it.

There's Miller, all alone, while his concerned team mates do what hockey players do - ignore him and fight about it. Note particularly the direction most of the fans are looking; all the focus is on the fighting. Why not just build a new coliseum and throw people to the lions? Are we any more civilized and humane?

Well, recently, we had another installment that reaffirms this absurdity. Everyone's shorts are in a knot over this collision between Milan Lucic and goaltender Ryan Miller, so much so that no one thinks to pop by and show the fellow some compassion or the least concern for his wellbeing. But this being a collision with a goaltender brings up several other issues which, all together, show just how annoying the NHL is.

Only in the NHL...

...can an undefeated team actually be behind a team with two losses in the standings.

Tim Thomas and the NHL buffoons

I was doubly shocked by this play, take a look…

A goalie playing the player and not the puck was shocking enough. There was no penalty (interference, roughing...), Boston fans cheered as though was a great play, and this all just goes to show (once again) NHL's wacko culture.

Win or go home

As we're on the cusp of the 2010-2011 NHL season, it's time to revisit an oddity that, unfortunately, has yet to be fixed. So, I once again shout into the wind, "get rid of that absurd point for an overtime loss in the NHL."

The North American team leagues that have national TV deals don't bother with points at all, so abandoning the silly stat isn't like inventing the wheel.

A win is a win, a loss is a loss, and the win percentage determines standings. That also eliminates the whole "game in hand" claptrap - at any given point in time in a season, regardless how many games have been played, it's a simple matter - 7 wins in 10 games is a .700 win percentage; 9 of 12 is .750; 10 of 13 is 0.769.

The concept of playing a game until a winner and loser are declared is what the playoffs are all about, right? It seems simple to me - if you can't win a championship by tying a game, you shouldn't be able to get to the championship by tying a game. In the playoffs, a team wins a best 3 of 5 or a best 4 of 7, and if they went to overtime for every game in the series, the losing team gets no brownie points for the overtime loss. It's not a strange concept, and that's what confuses me most about hanging on to this silly statistic. The league is already familiar with playing a game to win.

If that means overtime till it's two on two, or shootouts till the goalies and mascots get to take a shot, so be it. MLB will go non-stop through as many extra innings as it takes to declare a winner. NBA has seen triple overtimes, if that's what it takes. NFL assumes that pro teams can figure out how to at least kick a field goal in 15 minutes of OT play, and most times they do (there have been four regular season ties in the NFL in the last twenty years, for an average of one every five seasons).

But imagine it - it would raise the excitement value of each game in the regular season to near playoff pitch, which would be great for fans in cities where the playoffs are something they'll only hear about, like Toronto. It would also be great for the league, and if the excitement factor increases, wouldn't that make a more sell-able product?

Pro athletes whining about "playing all that time and not being rewarded for the effort" are absurd. It's sports - the reward is winning.

Whining that "a shoot out is tough way to lose a team game on an individual play" is silly - is a breakaway score an individual thing? How about a penalty shot? What about a goalie who stands on his head and his team wins 1-0 because the other team inadvertently scored on their own goal? If the "team" can't figure out a way to win as a team in regulation, they take their chances in OT/shootout. That's pro sports.

Win or go home.

20 Years of 1st Round Mythology

Particularly since the inception of the new Collective Bargaining Agreement within the National Hockey League, there has grown a strong following of people who believe that the only way to get ahead in a cost-constrained environment that the NHL now represents is to bottom out for a few years, and collect some top 5 picks.