Last Full Show

Heartland of Ermita, 11 pm

---

I was about to go to sleep this evening when I got a text message from you.

"I'm drinking again. shucks..."

Surrendering the night to rest, you suddenly awakened my senses. We met in an online forum last week. Like El Tigre, you used to hang out in the fitness threads on that website. One morning, I found you wandering in the non-straight threads and your sudden change of color encouraged me to send you a private message.

The pleasant message exchanges lead to deeper conversations until one evening we traded numbers. There is now mutual companionship between us and if this friendship breaks all norms of online relationships, it may spill over and bloom into a romantic engagement.

Maybe this chance led me to get up, take a shower and make an excuse to leave home after your proposal to have a drink - if and ever your conference ends early tonight.

"Last time daw this meeting ended at 3am fyi. Nyahahahaha!"

"Ayos lang pag naging drunken master ka at natuto ka ng sleeping fairy technique, ako aakay sayo. Wahahahaha!" I replied.

I do not know what's gotten into me, but once again, I'm placing all hopes that you're worth the chase. This is what's sad about being single. Every person you meet, every being who fits your ideal suddenly becomes your prospect. I guess now, our friendship borders between worlds and now that you have opened the doors for a more direct contact,

I don't know how our story will gonna end.

Truth be told: If ever we never get to meet tonight, I have two fall-back options to retreat to. As I waited for confirmation that you're still open for a meet-up I sent beacons to some encantos to cover me when things fail. If they decide not to answer my plea, Malate will become my port of call.

I do not know how things will end tonight,

but I do hope that by tomorrow morning, I will wake up knowing a promising future will greet me as I start my day again.

The Taglibog Saga (Chapter Two)

"So Dark Ages mo na ulit?"

Ito ang reaction ni Dodong nang malaman niyang split na kami ni Raizen. Si Dodong ang isa sa mga una kong ka-tropang PLU, at sa loob ng mahabang panahon na kami ay magkaibigan ay alam na niya ang istorya ng buhay ko.

At tama nga ang kanyang agam-agam. Wala pang tatlong linggo ay balik na naman ako sa dating diskarte. Tambayan ko ulit ang Malate at doon ay nilabas ko ang lahat ng angas at libog na inipon ko sa loob ng buong linggo. Uso noon ang mga Dark Rooms. Ito ay isang madilim na bahagi ng isang bar kung saan malayang nakakapagparaos ang mga clubbers kasama ang kanilang napiling partner. Wala pa naman akong nakitang nagkangkangan sa loob ng masikip at napakainit na lugar na iyon, pero ang blowjob, magsasawa ka talaga.

Doon ko nasaksihan kung paano nagpapalit-palit ng bibig ang burat ng isang binata sa sampung lalaking nagtake-turns sa pagroromansa sa kanya. Sa Dark Room ko rin naranasan magsenti sa bar counter. Bangag ako ng umagang yun, nakaupo at nakatingin sa bintana para abangan ang pagsikat ng araw habang lahat naman sa aking paligid ay umuungol, kumakadyot at nagmumura habang nilalabasan sa sahig (o sa bibig ng kanilang partner) ng semilya. Yung katabi ko naman ay panay ang lamas sa aking katawan. Gusto yatang maka-iskor pero hindi ko ito pinatulan. Lumabas ako ng bar na tuod at tila wala sa sarili. Shit, ganun pala ang pakiramdam makakita ng walang habas na babuyan.

Naroon rin ang #salsalan sa MIRc. Tambay rin ako ng chatroom tuwing walang magawa sa bahay. Madalas ay naghahamon lang naman ako ng away sa ibang chatters o kaya naman ay nangkukupal ng mga ads para sa SEB sa main room. Paano kasi ay walang nag-uusap. Lahat ay naghahanap ng sex. Minsan sa sobrang buraot ay nang-gago ako ng ad ng isang chatter. Hindi ko na matandaan kung ano ang ad niya, pero tandang-tanda ko na pinagkalat kong apat na pulgada lang ang kanyang ari.

Kahit hindi pa naman kami nagkikita.

Malimit ay nagpapalit ako ng chat handle para lang mag-ingay sa main channel. Sa halip na kalibog-libog na nickname ang aking gamit, nagiging taonggoy o kaya naman ay boyburnek ang pangalan ko. Sa loob ng isang oras at mahigit, puros flooding ng ads sa paghahanap ng lakatan, kuto o kaya naman ay saging na saba ang nababasa ng mga ibang chatters mula sa akin.

Ako rin lang ang chatter dun na nagsabing nilalabasan ng tamod na kulay green o kaya blue o kung minsan naman ay rainbow colors para lang magpapansin sa iba.

Naging adik man ang mga hirit ko sa #salsalan ngunit ang kapalit naman ay ilang mga kasama na hindi ko tinalo sa chatroom. Naroon kami bilang tambay at ang gawain lang namin ay mangkupal ng mga chatter na naghahanap ng SEB. Kung sumasapit naman ang mga pagkakataon na talagang naghahanap ako ng aksyon, mas mabilis pa sa alas kuwatro kung ako ay makipagkasunduan sa ibang tao.

me: Place mo pare?
malibog-na-chatter: Dito sa Vito Cruz.
me: San sa Vito Cruz?
malibog-na-chatter: Malapit sa AKIC
me: Tara trip tayo!

Hindi pa uso ang trade pictures kaya't maaring idaan sa stats ang deal or no deal. Sa buong buwan ng Marso at Abril ay naranasan ko makipag-trip sa isang abandonadong apartment sa may San Andres Bukid; Sa katabing-bahay ng barkada ko noong high school sa Hulo; at sa isang tripper malapit sa Legarda bago pumasok sa trabaho. Ayus nga eh, may partner siya noon at wala daw siyang pakielam kahit mahuli pa kaming dalawa na may ginagawang himala. Naranasan ko rin dumayo ng Pateros galing Project 6 isang madaling araw ng lasing upang maulit lang ang pagniniig namin ng lalaking sumalo sa akin sa Mister Piggy's. Siya ang nag-uwi sa akin noong mag-away kami ni Raizen sa ikalawang pagkakataon.

Sa sandaling panahon ay nasulit ko ang pagiging pakawalang malaya. Subalit nakakapagod rin pala ang paulit-ulit at walang sense na pakikipag-sex sa iba't ibang tao. Wala man sa lima ang score ko sa loob ng dalawang buwan ngunit madali rin akong napagod sa mundong pinasok ko. Kaya't nang may nagpakita sa akin ng interes mga anim na taon na ang nakalipas, mabilis ko rin itong sineryoso.

At gaya ng nauna sa kanya, ang aming unang pagtatagpo ay nauwi sa motel at matapos ang isang linggo,

kaming dalawa na.

---

-tobecontinued-

The Taglibog Saga (Chapter One)

At dahil trip ko manggaya ng blogpost ng iba;
at dahil nalalapit na ang expiration date ng aking ceasefire sa pakikidigma sa kama;
ikukuwento ko ang dahilan kung bakit sa kabila ng tawag ng laman ay magaling akong magtimpi at lumaban sa aking karnal na pangangailangan.

---

Twenty one ako nang unang makatikim ng lalaki.

Tandang tanda ko yun. Pinagbantay ng pad ang ka-seb ko. Tinitirhan iyon ng kaibigan niyang babae. Habang nagchi-chill out kami ay naglabas ang aking kasama ng isang plastic bag na ang laman ay bigkis bigkis na pinatuyong mga dahon. Kumuha siya ng kakarampot at binalot iyon sa papel. Sinindihan niya ito at salitan kami sa paghithit. Mausok ang paligid, matamis ang lasa ng usok. Makailang saglit, para na akong lumulutang sa langit. Hindi ko mawari kung ano ang nangyayari sa aking paligid.

Hanggang sa bigla na lang kami naghalikan at nagkuyumusan ng mga labi.

Binalak ko sanang araw-araw ang SEB nun sa loob ng isang linggo. Tutal first time kaya may karapatan akong maging pakawala. Nang sumunod na gabi ay may round 2 dapat kami ng naka-sex ko the night before. Kaso, nagkasalisihan kaya hindi natuloy. Sa halip, bumalik ako sa chatroom upang maghanap ng bagong kaniig. Dinala ko pa ito sa bahay at pinakilalang ka-tropa sa magulang. Habang nag-iinuman sa aking kuwarto, bigla niya akong hiniritan ng "kiss mo nga ako." Ako naman si tanga na kumagat kaya hayun, buong gabi yata kaming nabuhay sa romansa ng ka-partner ko.

Hindi nabuo ang aking panata. Dala ng pagkatorpe ay nauwi lang yata sa tatlo ang ka-sex ko noong linggong iyon. Subalit simula noon ay hindi tumatagal ng dalawang linggo na ako ay bakante. Dala ng kapusukan, mabilis akong ma-enganyo ng tukso.

Mabuti na lang at kakambal ng aking kalibugan ang kakayahang magseryoso. Wala pang tatlong buwan matapos madiskubre ang SEB ay nakatagpo kaagad ako ng makakarelasyon. Nagsimula iyon sa isang one-night-stand na nauwi sa matinding attachment. Tinamaan daw siya sa akin matapos kong bantayan sa pagtulog kaya't hayun, wala pang isang linggo ay nagsabihan na kami ng "I love you" sa isa't isa.

Sa kanya ako natuto maging bottom... at matulog ng walang kahit anong suot tuwing kami ay magkatabi sa futon bed. Sa kanya ko naranasan mag three-rounder sa isang umaga o kaya naman ay maalimpungatan sa pagtulog na binabarena.

Hayup.

Naging sulit man ang pagniniig naming dalawa ngunit hindi ko yata naramdaman sa kanya ang totoong romansa. He hates kissing daw, lalo na kapag nasa jerjer part na. Marami pang seremonyas ang kailangang gawin bago siya magkaroon ng mood makipaglaro sa akin. Bandang huli ay napilitan na akong magmakaawa. Sobrang kati ko daw, iyon ang lagi niyang reklamo sa akin. Gusto ko sanang sabihin na palibhasa matanda na siya at kulang na sa sexercise. Hindi pa nasiyahan si ex sa deprivation na ginawa niya sa akin. Nagbitaw rin siya ng kundisyon na bawal akong manghalay tuwing matutulog kami ng magkatabi.

Isang beses ay nag-away kami bago matulog. Pinilit kong makipagbati ngunit dedma lang ang sinukli niya sa akin. Hinawakan ko ang kanyang tutoy ngunit muntikan pa akong masapak dahil dito. Nabadtrip ako, at ang badtrip ay natuloy sa pag-alis ng kuwarto. Tutal sa Malate kami nagkakilala kaya sa Malate rin ako magtatago. Walang nangyari noon sa aking rebelyon at nagkaayos kami bago magtanghali. Subalit nang mag-away kami sa ikalawang pagkakataon, tumakbo na ako ng Mister Piggy's upang doon maglabas ng sama ng loob.

Dala ng tama ng alak, katigangan dahil sa partner na masungit, at pagmamalabis na aking nararamdaman matapos isuko ang lahat para sa iisang tao na sinumpa kong pagsilbihan at unawain, bumawi ako ng bonggang-bongga.

Ang aking rebelyon ay nauwi sa kama ng iba at matapos ang dalawang linggo. Split na kami ng aking unang partner na si Raizen.

---

-tobecontinued-

Sapi

Nitong mga nakaraang linggo, sa ganito nauuwi ang inuman ng mga Encanto:

Clubber's Guide, Nakpil, Malate

"Pukingina men, bakit wala sa Che'Lu nito?!?"

Nakangisi lang ang aking utol habang abalang nanonood ng sumasayaw sa aming harapan.

Natapos ang gabi na wala akong ginawang milagro. Kung mayroon man ay si Lukayo na lang ang saksi roon.

Inintay kong sumakay ng taxi ang mag-irog, samantalang ako naman ay naglakad patungo sa aking teritoryo na walang isang dipa ang layo mula sa aming pinanggalingan nang:

"Joms, joms, joms,"

Patay na! Nakorner ako ng mga shofatid!

Ang night out na sana ay matatapos ng alas-dos ay tumagal hanggang alas singko. Dala ng pagkalasing, pagkalibog at marahil ang pinagsanib puwersang playback ng mga naggagandahang babaeng gumigiling sa aming harapan sa unang bar na aming pinasok, sa ganito ako naglabas ng samang-loob:

Siyempre, talbog si Britney sa galing kong kumadyot sa pole. Malibog yata to!

Yep, it was the first time I mounted the ledge at BED and did a pole dancing in front of the crowd. I don't care how shameless and slutty my actions were, I just wish that

Nobody who knew me saw how I shook my booty up there.

A New Hope

BED, Malate 2 AM

"My friend likes you." A guy wearing a body-fitting white polo approached my "new" friend. New friend was a good dancer. I first caught his attention while he was arching his slim body on the ledge earlier. He was fair-looking, skin head, and slightly older than me. Our introductions were pleasant and certainty had foretold that we would become exclusive dance couple for the night.

"I'm with someone. Sorry."

I saw him pointing his finger at me, while I, was having a friendly banter with another blogger friend whom I just met for the first time last night. The guy in white polo walked a few steps backward, embarrassed, and apologizing for his upfront behavior. I didn't see who my rival was.

Apparently he was buffer and better-looking than me.

Fate did the rest.

To cut the story short. I was invited to stay at his apartment. I was introduced to his housemates, who eagerly welcomed my arrival. The premature attachment was sealed soon after by a consummate intimacy in his room. I left his place like I was already part of his family.

Effective at 9 am today. I am formally declaring a cessation of hostilities against me, and against those who wishes to cross my line. The G4M account, which survived a week will be permanently deleted and I am officially attaching myself to him, who might become the third. The painful process of trusting again and getting to know a new person has begun. I hope that he is the one I've been waiting and praying after enduring a roller-coaster ride of singlehood for six months

This time, I will give love a chance and let it bear fruits like what I foresaw in all those precious moments our hands held one another.

Slipping Malate

It's been a day and a night after some intruding hand had snatched it from my gaping side pocket, but the events that lead to its lost still replays at the back of my head. It could have been averted, had I not lulled my senses with three bottles of Red Horse Beer. However, done is the deed that could make me stop the madness.

Deliverance has revealed the exit from the dark, suffocating and sweaty grounds of the dance floor.

---

Past midnight. Encantadia left Trinoma after a night of stories and jokes passed around the table. The Kondesa finally met the Dukesa - the two gentlemen who became the significant others of the ones belonging to the original five. Their introduction was a pleasant experience. Both guys found a stronger connection to the group. I missed the Dukesa after months of not being able to see him. His presence last night reminded me how his partner, Tagay, had matured and how the friendship among the three of us had grown.

My Gimik Pass for the week hasn't been used yet and I was planning to take advantage of the weekend to sneak into the dancing grounds of Che'Lu. It was a Sunday morning and I am most certain that the place would be packed with gay men. Bored and restless, I instructed the cab to drive me to Malate. The night was young, and I'd like to spend it doing something fun.

Che'lu was indeed packed that night, unfortunately, it wasn't the crowd I was looking for. Gone are the nights when straight-acting strangers would trade glances and smile at you. In their place were kids - lanky, snooty, and broken-armed twinks huddled in groups which included their loud and boisterous fag hags. I felt out of place, really, and to forget how solitary my spot was in the order of things, to satiate myself with beer was the only solution I had in mind.

First Red Horse Bottle.

I scoured the dance floor for a challenger. Even with barely 2 hours of sleep, my mind was in the mood to grind and bend my body. I bumped into several boys worthy as an adversary, however, they haven't seen through my provocations. They were busy tapping, shoving and mingling with their friends instead of looking for some action.

It might be possible also, that my mojo isn't with me that night. I left it in dreamland somehow.

Second Red Horse Bottle.

It was past 1 in the morning. The crowd was getting rowdier and the dance floor had become a watering hall for fairies. I should have gone to the bath houses instead, if it was action I really sought. Maybe the tiled chambers offered more options to meet the guys I sought. But to fuck wasn't really my plan. Besides, it's been more than a year since I entered its naked halls. It was enough that I get attention from strangers and hunt down potential preys that could serve as a distraction until I decide to settle for the one.

Tipsy and on the verge of passing out. I wrapped my big arms around a catatonic kid's lean frame. He never showed any response. He might have not noticed my groping at all.

Third Red Horse Bottle

I stood at a corner mustering whatever strength and degree of control I could impose on my senses. Being there on a sleepless, intoxicated night wasn't really a good idea. I should have headed straight home instead. As I was about to leave and accept my defeat for not getting a worthy partner during my stay, I noticed this particular stocky guy dancing in front of me. He wasn't really my type, but the way he danced provoked me.

The guy appeared to be an interesting target.

I positioned myself in front of him and pretended to follow his bouncy moves. He sensed my approach and began brushing off his fingers against mine. The fish caught my bait and within seconds our sweaty bodies found themselves merging and becoming one. He was a good partner for bending my will and forcing me to accept his dominance. Unlike the previous ones who would cautiously test the waters, he was an outright aggressor. It never felt this good letting a stranger have a total control over the way I moved.

For that alone, I shoved my back against his groin and let him thrust himself until he got tired. Talk about doing a frottage on a club. Four house tracks, several make-out moments, and two discreet sliding-of-one's-hand-inside-someone-else's-jeans and I felt like a slut.

During a break, he asked for my number. Since I wasn't interested to prolong our contact I gave him a wrong one instead. Good thing, he did not insist that I get his number as well.

---

It was already getting late and I have work the following morning. It's time to go home.

Feeling the contents of my pockets, something appeared missing. The lost triggered the alarm. I tried frisking my pockets again and it wasn't there. I was hoodwinked, maybe, by the same person who broke down my defenses. There was a moment of shock and panic, but experience tells that there was no use turning the place around for a stolen phone.

To accept the lost was the only course of action. I returned to my dance partner and hugged him for one last time. He sympathized for my lost and tried to console me the best way he could. Meanwhile my hands were everywhere, frisking his pockets.

He didn't have my phone.

Though he may be responsible for its lost, to achieve the deed required accomplices. However, I had no proofs to support my assumptions so I let things be and charged everything to experience.

I left the bar distraught over losing my phone. It might have been acquired through a friend's generosity, but there is no doubt that its lost speak about the way I take care of things.

And how easy it was for me to accept their passing.

With nothing else to do, (despite finally winning the attention and caresses of the guy I've been exchanging smiles and glances since the boyfriend days) I slipped out of Malate as obscurely as I arrived.

---


The phone has been replaced (and charged to my credit card) Please introduce yourself when you send me a text message. Thank you.

Toxic

Our 11th monthsary came just when we were about to leave the motmot after a much-anticipated popoy last night. This popoy is one of a kind because we spent more time doing foreplay than the fucking itself. We found each other kissing passionately while hugging one another tightly for more than an hour.

Such an ideal night for a couple who had survived every challenge of building and maintaining a man-to-man relationship.

However, after 11 months, we remain strangers to one another. There are things I have to learn and understand about him and there are things that he should learn about me. We joined Francis, Zeki, Roy, and Meng-meng in Malate. Phanks got the chance to talk and meet the regal couples of ODDERs and I think from his conversation with Zeki, Phanks got to know me better and understood my attitude towards him.

-0-

We went to Bath after since my buddy wanted to dance the night away. Inside the club, he was dancing as if he were in a dance competition (think of how people do interpretative dancing). Daming times ko pinigil lumipad yung kamay niya dahil baka makatama ng iba. Anyway, I was taken in a deep shock seeing him dance with wild abandon. Diyos ko po, hindi ko talaga siya keri masabayan. By 3:30 in the morning, I asked him if we could go home. Ihahatid ko pa kasi siya sa bahay nila sa Valenzuela. I know, he wanted to stay till morning, but our time is up. We needed to get some rest.

Inside the taxi, he was conversing in Bisaya with the driver. Although I was a little bit out of place, but seeing him in that relaxed state made me realize how different we are from one another. That evening, he was complaining that we were very opposite; that he couldn't even tug me along to join his activities. I told him that opposites attract - citing the example of Zeki and Francis (which Francis confirmed later during our meeting.)

What matters is that despite the differences, we can still find a common ground to make the relationship work. I fully understand that he doesn't want to show displays of affection even inside PLU bars like bath. I may be quite disappointed with his reaction, but that's him and I can't force him to change. Papu is right, the strength of our relationship lies in how we respect one another's personality. We have to compromise (despite him avoiding public displays of affection, we're actually making out the whole time inside the dance club. I don't know if he's aware that he is contradicting his earlier statement or he was on the verge of opening up even more to accommodate me.) and accept how the other thinks about the relationship.

He just texted me earlier telling me how he missed and enjoyed our sex, and the night out experience we had last night... Looking at how I made him feel, I think that's how lovers are supposed to make love to their partners - bring them to heaven and back to earth... Remembering the events at the motel... I believe our sexy time was a success. There should be a repeat performance.

-0-

Francis, thanks for the advice and the conversation. Hehehe, first time ata kita nakausap ng ganun. Galing talaga ng lola ni Zeki. Hihi.

-0-

Officially, I'm hooked up with Britney Spear's Toxic

-0-

Yes Vermont, I can be your Kuya. :)

With a taste of your lips I'm on a ride

You're toxic, I'm slippin' under

With a taste of a poison paradise

I'm addicted to you

Don't ya know that you're toxic?