Lessons Kitsune Forgot To Learn At The Bathhouse

Enough emoness, wanna play?

- Kitsune

1. People wearing jockstraps tend to make it with other people wearing jockstraps. Nobody makes it with people wearing pink bikinis.

2. Saying "I'm resting" to everyone who seeks entry into your pool defeats the purpose of going to the baths.

3. If everyone who said "I don't come here often" was telling the truth, there would be no one there.

4. If you are looking for a wonderfully spiritual union with a kindred spirit, you are in the wrong place.

5. Do not assume that the guys walking into walls are on some weird new drug; most likely, they have just left their glasses in their lockers. It is better to look good than to see good.

6. Once in a while, do your good deed for the gay: let an old faggot suck your cock. Such magnanimous gestures are duly recorded by the Great Faggot in the Sky, and when you are an old faggot, the favors will be returned in kind. Yes, Darling, that's the way it works.

7. Please realize that bathrooms have legitimate purposes too. Giving someone a blowjob in a cubicle while outside the locked door seven guys are turning various shades of green will not make you popular.

8. Always finish what you start.

9. When it's past the wrist is not the time to say "no".

10. It's okay to bring your own rope; it's not okay to tie yourself up.

11. If you are at the baths busily cheating on your lover, don't make a scene should you discover him there.

12. If you are at the baths and you see your father there, tell him your resting.

13. If you are at the baths and you see your boss there, it is best not to blackmail him. Just do whatever he says. Trust me darling, you'll be rewarded on your next bonus or salary increase.

14. If you are at the baths and you see your brother there, head for the darkest corner - especially if you have all straight porn at home.

15. If you are at the baths and you see your Uncle, you might as well just leave - you know how much Uncles fuck you over.

16. People who say, "I've never done that before," should be informed that the ability to deep throat is not genetic.

17. The law of increasing good looks: People tend to become more attractive the longer you are there.

18. In the dark all cats are gray, but ten inches is still better than six inches.

19. Men with small cocks can be sexually tremendous if they are technically proficient, but men with big dicks don't have to know a damn thing.

20. A primitive tribe in Borneo does not have a word for "No" in its language.
Natives deny sexual favors by looking mournful and saying, "I'd like to, but I just came."

21. Asking to borrow someone's cockring is even more tasteless than asking to borrow someone's comb.

22. You can cause a panic by yelling, "There's a woman in room 379!"

23. For a real hoot, go to the baths without having used alcohol or drugs. It is truly amazing how fabulously you will be able to make out when you are the only one there in a solid state.

24. Giggling is not a correct response to, "Wanna fuck?"

25. It is pointless to consider why guys who won't even talk to you at the bars are so eager to suck your cock at the baths.

26. Spending more than two hours with one number at the baths makes you two "an item." More than four hours makes you engaged.

27. Even on a good night, it is possible to commit bigamy.

28. Spending hours deciding what to wear to the tubs is a particularly inane waste of time.

29. Never, never, NEVER try to explain the baths to heterosexuals.

30. Possession of more than three bath cards makes you a serious faggot.

31. Jack's law of the Gym: People working out are doing it for your benefit, not theirs.

32. Formal attire means a black jockstrap.

Taurus69
Epitome, Guys4Men

Scorpio Nights

Utol didn't show up at the doorstep for two evenings. And mysterious her reasons were, it was not for me to crack the codes behind her sudden disappearance. Instead, I let mother, in her infinite wisdom and understanding let my sister go and sow chaos in the streets. It is what she wanted ever since she was a little girl and much as we try to leash her with any rope around, she will just untie herself and go back to her old leanings.

Left alone to occupy our shared space, (but not exactly the same room) temptation roosted inside my head. It's presence, like a steaming white fluid pulsating from my totem pole sent perverse whispers instructing me to follow my instincts. When they left me alone one night last December, someone got banged in my room. He said I was good; my throbbing manhood sent him to whatever heaven he desired (in fact he hounded me for an encore performance until he found a replacement three weeks ago) but I found my pitcher role relatively lousy especially when I do it with less masculine men.

But recurring patterns doesn't end without the intervention of the will. There was no stopping for a horny guy who recently got access to the hook-up places abounding in cyberspace. Insomnia was the culprit (and throw in the full moon as an accomplice) but during the last two nights, I had the choice to wage an open bed-war right inside my room. I wanted it to be consummated, so I will never seek another for a long time. The problem was the hindrance. A strong part of me still desired an end to it all.

I would have invited a friend to stay. His name was Piloto and I was certain that the confidence he wielded unto me was enough to put some sense into my headstrong promiscuity. Again, I was held back. This time, it was my will that wanted some action. Afraid I was that by putting Piloto between my colliding desires, he might become the unwilling prey.

And so I drew out my hunting skills and made them known in the sleazy corners of Guys4Men.

The aim was to trap those men, whose profiles include headless, muscled torsos and a short blurb about themselves that oozed a strong, dominant personality. The choices were many - buff guys demanding to meet equally "discreet and fit guys like them;" lean men flaunting their massively irresistable tool used for drilling someone; and there were twinks - cute and cuddly ones who barely registered among the guys I wanted to bring home. The twinks were the least of my desires, not because they pose no challenge, but because impressions told me that they were the most pretensions among those around.

"Ang ganda naman ng katawan mo. YM mo nga saka face pic?"

"Saan place mo? Punta ako."

"Well you can try me. Number mo poh?"

"Malayo ba yan sa Espana? Send me directions."

For other guys whose homes and sleeping quarters were available, the choice was easy. Pick the most appealing guy who bothered to respond to the invitation, get the deed done and then move on. In my case, stalling was necessary despite my willingness to proceed with the attack. Considerations had to be made for there was no hegemony inside the house. Mom was lying on her bed and perhaps in her restless slumber in the master's bedroom, the maids were in their sleeping quarters ready to jump out of their bed in case an alarm was sounded, and there I was behind their most peaceful dreams sneaking a total stranger inside my room. To be caught was the least of my worries. (for it would only happen if and when one of us made a careless moan while licking each other's crevasses) The real concern sprung from some untoward incident that would lead to a loss of life. Who would ever forget the gay men found slopping in their own cold blood after spiriting a guy inside their quarters the night before.

Another factor would be intimacy.

I would rather do it with a portion of my soul still attached to my sleeve.

And so while waiting for someone from g4m to grab my bait, I was tempting those I had previous dalliances to come into my quarters. There were two of them available, but none would be willing to travel a short cab ride going to my place. It took me great pains to convince them that the trip was worth it, but in the end, they just decided to go to sleep.

Just when you badly needed a fuck buddy, nobody would show up... On second thought, I never had one to begin with.

The night wore on like a candle wax dissolving on a hardened surface. The flames of desire, glowing brightly against a pitch-black solitary backdrop slowly fades as the light penetrates the darkness of the room. As I waited for new guys to go online - any masculine top guy who was a stone-throw away from where I dwell, I slowly found myself stroking the epicenter, the skyscraper whose skyline dominates the midsection of my body. It felt good squeezing my essence, it would have been better if some warm object rubbed itself against the steely surface of my skin.

Puta, ang sarap may ka-sex!

Pictures upon pictures of exhibitionist guys appeared on my screen. Big cocks, penetration photos, cum shot images - anything that would drive away the feeling of nastiness and restore order that was stolen by the sudden imbalance brought by, well, a full moon. I was willing to surrender myself to my inner demons only to trade another night, not being touched by another human.

As I pummeled my right hand into my waiting monster, I thought of the very rare moments when someone had me for a night. It was fun, yeah. Sometimes it was filthy, which made the experience more exciting. I missed the nights when I groaned out of pain (and cuss all the heavens after the rude violation turn out to be a pure bliss) I thought of things that could have been, have been, and would have been had I become more aggressive with my pursuits.

Then I knew I was cumming. It was a resounding victory for me..

Mmmmmmmm....

Returning to my senses, the replies returned by those who inquired were swiftly ignored, and deleted from the inbox. Closing the online windows left by a night of reckless abandon, a smile on my face revealed that despite letting a night go without any action, the relief brought by a ground defended from intrusions was enough to endure another Scorpio Nights.

---

Utol returned home last night.

Good riddance to the Scorpio Nights.

Salmo Responsorio

Butata.

Yun ang masasabi ko matapos panindigan nina Lukayo at Rain Darwin ang aking hamon sa aming inuman kagabi. Kasalukuyan pa ring NSFV (Not Safe For Viewing) ang blog ni Ulan dahil sa mga litratong nakalagay roon. Hanggang sa ngayon ay napapanganga pa rin ako't napapakamot ng ulo sa tuwing pasimpleng susulyapan ang mga ebidensya ng kanilang pag-iibigang (o kalibugang) ginawa pagkauwi ng bahay.

Nakakaelibs. Hindi ko yata magagawa yun.

So what does it make of me now?

Loser. Isang malaking loser. Hahaha.

Sabagay wala naman kasing kasunduan kung may kapalit ba ang paghamon na iyon. Ni hindi ko nga maalala na may dare pala akong ginawa. Ang tanda ko lang ay gusto kong gayahin nila yung litrato ni Sikretong Malupit na pinost sa kanyang blog noon kung saan magkayakap silang dalawa ng partner niya habang nakahiga sa kama. Yun lang. Hindi ko alam na kaya pala nilang tumbasan iyon.

Nalaman kaya nila kung ano ang lasa ng...

...ng isang nakainom ng beer? Hindi ko na aalamin.

Nais ko sanang tapatan ang kanilang mga litrato ng pag-iibigan, subalit may mga limitasyon sa aking hangarin.

Una ay higit na mas malawak ang exposure ko. Isang malaking kontrobersya sakaling ako ang magpapakita ng katawan kasama ang aking kaulayaw.

Ikalawa ay hindi ako kumpyansa sa aking pangangatawan. Sila ay mga lahing adonis samantalang ako naman ay nabibilang sa hanay ng mga bardagol. Tiyak na magiging eyesore ang kalalabasan ng mga litrato ko.

Ikatlo ay ang katotohanang ako ay single, tigang at lantarang tumatakbo palayo sa tawag ng laman. Madantay ko lang ang aking mga palad sa katawan ng isang lalaki ay mabilis kaagad ang dating ng karma sakin. Sadya yatang gusto ng tadhana na ako'y gawing mongha.

Subalit hindi ko matatanggap na walang kapalit ang kanilang dare. May mga pagkakataon man na ako'y bumabali ng salita o kaya naman ay tumutupi sa isang hamon pero kahit kailan ay hindi ko pinagwawalang-bahala ang isang game.

Kaya't bilang tugon, maglalahad ako ng terms na sana ay sapat na upang tapatan ang dare na pinanindigan nina Darwin at Lukayo.

1. Sinususpinde ko ang Mugenblue-Odinhood Pact upang bigyang daan ang aking pagbabalik sa G4M. Ngayong may Chin-Chin na ang aking kasama sa kasunduan ay marapat naman na pakawalan ko na ang aking sarili.

Magtatagal ang suspension hanggang katapusan ng buwan.

2. Magkakaroon ng access sa aking G4M account sina Lukayo at Darwin. Maari nilang burautin ang lahat ng kausap ko. Sisiguraduhin kong malalaman nila ang lahat ng aking kilos sa website.

3. Sa kabila ng aking pagbabalik sa Guys4Men, ginagawa kong hamon ang hindi mahulog sa patibong dala ng SEB. Ito ay sa kabila ng pagtatadtad ko ng mga hubad na litrato sa aking profile

4. Pansamantala ko ring ititigil ang aking pagpunta sa Malate. Sakop nito ang Palawan sa Cubao. Mawawala ako sa club scene ng tatlong buwan simula ngayong araw. Hindi nito sakop ang option na mag-clubbing sa straight bars.

Mugenblue-Odinhood Pact states that:

The pact will also cease effect when one of the parties under the alliance enters into a harmonics* contract with a third party or when Odinhood completes his academic requirements five months upon the beginning of this pact.

Confessions Of Arclight (Last Part)

July 17, 2008

We have this saying that states "pumantay ka sa katapat mo." If you are eyeing a hot guy that you feel is superior to your looks, appeal and body size, better back off rather than suffer a tragic rejection from him. The rule applies not only to cruising places but to any interpersonal relationships that may develop into intimacy. There are exceptions to the rule, of course. But from what I have seen through Arclight's eyes these past two years, there seems to be a grain of truth to such saying.

I used the account not to boost my value, for I was fully aware that the person in the profile was not me. Arclight had his share of "hi's," "can we be friends'?" "fuck mo ako's" and all those boner-inspiring messages that were sent by those guys that I can honestly say I'd ogle for hours using my real account.

Since I had put myself in a situation where I'd always be the shadow of my fake account, it became my determination to rise up and be the person who can stand up without hiding behind Arclight's glare. Yes, the guy whose pictures I've stolen was good-looking, (I later found out that someone even made a thread for him) and the guys who used to send him hook-up messages were buffed and good-looking too.

Being the guy behind the fake profile, the pictures I've seen inspired me to improve myself.

In all the years I had these two accounts in G4M, I used Arclight's profile for boywatching. You wouldn't believe some of the guys who voluntarily sent their private pictures to me. The notes (in different cuts and sizes) were mouth watering - so were the faces that would make you say, "they are indeed God's gift to gaykind!"

If only I had the same spunk and confidence like the guys who sent me their private pictures, I wouldn't be writing this entry tonight.

I admit that such blessing (to have such gorgeous boys running after you) must be shared to others. So I let my friends access the account so long as they would never respond or befriend the guys who send Arclight "friendly" private messages. It was a deceptive move, but knowing how pretentious G4M is, it was our way of getting back. If they would ignore us - average folks when we send them messages, then we would give them the guy they'd go to great lengths just to catch his attention.

Tricking others was fun at the beginning, especially when you use Arclight to avenge your bruised ego after some jerk ditched you the moment he receives the face-pic you traded using your real account. The sweetest vengeance happens when you find out that you're far good-looking than the person who run away from your trade agreement.

However, the cycle of rejection, getting back at a jerk, ignoring someone who bores you to death, ignoring the guys who would invite you to go to their places wore me in the end. As a result, I deleted my real account early this year vowing never to return. Unfortunately, the temptations of the flesh was too hard to suppress and to address it without crossing the lines that was already sealed meant that I have to log on to the website using Arclight's account and look for "phone partners" instead. It worked for a time until I realized that I was already deceiving the people who were drawn to me because of a fake profile.

Early last week, the guilt of deceiving so many people and admitting my deed to some of them made me feel so bad that I finally decided to leave G4M for good. But before my final bow, I uploaded my own pictures - the sexiest ones that my sanity could afford, to let the ones I deceived know that I can be myself without slipping into another person's shoes. I roamed the website for one week and this time, I was able to achieve what Arclight had been enjoying in all the years he was my cover.

"hi! group orgy this sat and sun at ortigas extn. message your number if interested. if not no need to reply. Thank you."

"can u be my friend?"

"wow marunongka pla magpaligaya ng bottom? sana isa ako dun heheheh :P"

"tol sex tau? number mo?"

"who are the other Filipino writers you read? just great to see someone with hot pix here in g4m who actually reads :) of course i open the site to cruise but sometimes you find people who are interesting in other ways."

The gorgeous ones had ceased sending me private messages this time. After all, who I am to be noticed now that I'm not as ripped and buffed as the old photos in my profile. Strangely, the ones who sent me messages were kids. It only proves that I have the potentials to be a cradle snatcher long before I actually thought of it.

We always have this impression that the more good-looking or macho you are, the easier for you to find a mate. If you are talking about hook-ups or one night stands then you are right. But one thing I learned in this experiment is that the more good-looking and hunky you are, the lesser chances you will find deep and meaningful relationships in your love life. Your looks and the attention you receive had already bloated your ego that you think everyone that comes into your life is dispensable.

You tend to look and look and look, without getting any contentment in the relationship you already found.

In seven days that I have been present in G4M, most of the new guys I befriended turns out to be opportunists. They would seek your friendship only to reveal their sleazier or romantic intentions when you're beginning to trust them. Some will ignore your friendly message the moment they feel your only business with them is friendship.

Such is the life I found in G4M.

Despite my gloomy impressions, there are still avenues for sensible friendship in the website to develop. I was an avid poster in the Eclipse Thread to promote my gym and to encourage the guys in the thread to reach their goals, no matter how challenging their work-out programs are. I was also an avid follower of the Blog Thread to watch for anyone who would post their web links in the thread.

My big mistake however is that I dwelt too much on the sleaziness of the Sex and Fetish forums where the sole business of everyone was to seek hook-ups day and night. Funny how some members tried to look for true love when their personal ads said:

"gusto ko sanang magmamahal sa akin ay yung top na cute at malaki ang kargada."

you already have an idea how shallow their intentions were.

What made me sick of the place was the endless accusations and counter-accusations of people who have HIVs or STIs and still scouts the website for hook-ups. Posters in those threads were too cruel in their revelations that I avoided reading them altogether. It's like half of the community was doing a witch hunt, when the rest still glorifies the joys of bareback fucking.

The hypocrisy and discrimination was too much for me.

Guys4Men will always be Guys4Men indeed.

And since I already found happiness in being emancipated from the website before, I kept my word to delete Arclight after seven days of presence there. To think that my whoring days fell at a time when my hormones overwhelmed my renewed vow of abstinence, to come out alive despite the flood of tempting hook up invitations was already a miracle.

I will resume to my old ways of living beginning tonight. At least now that I'm free from my ties to the internet meat market,

I can draw my life the way I intended the fictional Arclight to live.

---

single
has a five year old son
has big businesses in mandaluyong
lives in rockwell center
drives a customized lancer evo

what can i say, life has been good to me
and i hope to share it with you.

Protocol Myon Closing

In G4M this evening

Two days before account deletion

---

15 Jul 2008, 21:37
Mugen: badtrip hindi man lang kita maabutan ng online. Paalis pa naman ako dito sa g4m.

15 Jul 2008, 22:20
hot_drew2X: ha? ano? di ko ma gets tol...

15 Jul 2008, 22:23
Mugen: remember me?

pictures sent with this message:

15 Jul 2008, 22:29
hot_drew2X: ah ok...kaw pala...muzta na?

15 Jul 2008, 22:31
Mugen: ok lang pare. active ka sa mga threads lately ah. Hehe sumisikat.

pa-delete na ako ng account 2 days from now. Gusto ko lang magpaalam sayo.

15 Jul 2008, 22:32
hot_drew2X: wlang magawa ei...bakit naman alis ka na?

anong istorya...kwento ka naman....

15 Jul 2008, 22:34
Mugen: tagal ko na kayang wala dito sa g4m. 2nd account ko lang to, pang-boywatching dati.

Ganda ng mga pics mo ah.

15 Jul 2008, 22:36
hot_drew2X: thanks...bakit ka nawala...anong meron?...kwento ka naman...anong pinag gagawa mo na lately at bakit ka aalis? may bf ka ng nakita dito?hahaha

15 Jul 2008, 22:38
Mugen: Busy ako sa work, school, gym. Hehehe. Lam mo ba dati pare kaya ako nag-oonline dito eh para kumuha ng inspiration sa magaganda ang katawan?

15 Jul 2008, 22:40
hot_drew2X: ganun...owwws.....ito graduate na sa wakas...nagrereview na me...ok na ba katawan mo?...tigas na ba?

15 Jul 2008, 22:42
Mugen: Hahaha congrats. Parang kailan lang eh nawawala yung name plate mo ah! Tigas? Di pa nga eh. Hehehe.

Break a leg sa exam.

15 Jul 2008, 22:46
hot_drew2X: loko...katawan mo tinutukoy ko...kasi may mga fats ka pa nung huki tayong nagkita at nagsex!...hahahaha oo nga ei...katamad nga...pagod na utak ko kakaaral tol...

15 Jul 2008, 22:49
Mugen: Loko alam ko yung nirerefer mo. May fats pa ren. Hindi naman ako kasing payat at sexy mo eh hehehe. Pero come to think of it, mga 20 lbs na yung binagsak ko since nung last time tayong nagkita. What you see are my latest pic.

15 Jul 2008, 23:00
hot_drew2X: medyo ok na nga ang chest mo...sarap na susohin...hahaha

15 Jul 2008, 23:01
Mugen: haha sigurado ko nakatikim ka pa ng mas firm sa chest ko. Ehehehe. Kaw pa!

15 Jul 2008, 23:06
hot_drew2X: medyo...hehehehe

15 Jul 2008, 23:09
Mugen: sabi sayo eh. sa gwaping at angas mong yan. Hehe. Tama na nga baka sabihin mo binobola pa kita.

Paano pare. Offline na ako. Kung di na tayo magkasalubong ulit, goodluck sa exams mo.

Nung naghahanap ka ng name pin mo dati, pinakelaman ko yung notes mo. Sipag mo naman sa school so you deserve the best.

Goodnayt.

---

I count hot_drew2X as one of the five FUBUs I had since I began playing with boys six years ago. We did it in his apartment under the same stormy weather the city is experiencing these past few days. He was a good bed partner and his extra sweetness moved me to respond with the same degree of sweetness towards him.

Rarely do I show genuine feelings to someone I had SEB. What I would show most likely is just an act - that is if the deed had not yet made me feel empty after enjoying a brief surge of orgasmic bliss with a mate. Since he was someone out of the ordinary, I decided to treat him for lunch - at a Tapsilugan near his place when we did it the second time around.

Our intimate moments triggered some feelings, which I secretly harbored towards hot_drew2X. I suspect that it was his passionate kisses, free-flowing conversation while resting between rounds, and tight assuring hugs that broke my barriers. Unfortunately, when he began calling me baby when we were texting each other one evening, I decided to withdraw my feelings by sending him replies in a neutral but friendly tone. Hot_drew2X understood what I wanted to convey and he backed off. Our communication was cut off after.

When I took over my second account last week, it became my objective to find him in G4M not to renew our ties, but to indirectly express my appreciation for giving me one of the fondest memories in that website. Good thing he logged on this evening and showed some interest in engaging a conversation with me.

I don't know if things are really over between us.

But I am glad.

That before I leave the place once and for all.

I was able to say goodbye to the only guy I had sex with, and that I took seriously in that website.

---

Pero paano ba tsong kapag ang naka-sex mo ay may potential mo maging FUBU. Paano ang gagawin mo sa sitwasyong may tendency ka maging extra sweet sa taong hindi mo naman dapat pagtuunan masyado ng pagkatao.

At siya nga pala parekoy, ano ang gagawin mo para ma-impose sa utak mo na ang lahat ng playmate ay playmate lang. Walang kaibi-kaibigan, walang tropa-tropa? Diba ikaw nga ang nagsabi, na indifferent tayo sa kanila after?

Paano ba magtaboy ng potential FUBU partner, lalo na't takot kang maging close, Joms?"

- Protocol Myon Two
November 15, 2007

Confessions Of Arclight (First Part)

July 17, 2006

Dear XP,

I mentioned in our little conversation several weeks ago the importance of looks among people like us. You are absolutely right. Appearance, especially bodybuilt plays a big role in the consideration of meet-ups, hook-ups, relationships, and even in the establishment of an order in the "world" we choose to dwell.

Harsh, but the truth is, the more good-looking and masculine you are, the more guys are get drawn to you. It's a fact of life I have to accept now that I am putting myself on display in the meat market of Guys4Men.

Unfortunately, you know that my current built could not sustain someone's attention for more than a millisecond. I've been ignored several times and these rejections crushed me. And I wasn't looking for hookups mind you, I was just trying to be friendly with other guys like us.

To get back at those who ignored me, I thought of having an experiment. I would create an account and put myself on a hottie's shoes for a change. I want to experience how it feels like being rich, sexy and good-looking. I also want to experience having a command of the market, where no-one will ever reject me because of my built. I know you think I'm delusional in attempting this experiment.

But rest assured bud, when this is over, I will learn no matter how insane the idea is.

---

The experiment began two days ago. While browsing Friendster at work, I found the account of my newest favorite radio station, 107.9 Underground Radio. The FM station plays house and electronic music night and day. It's like clubbing at BED or Government the entire week without the hassle of going to the said places and paying the pricey entrance fee. Anyway it's just a new radio station but their list is full of beautiful people.

I checked the profiles that were linked to the radio station's list of friends. One profile that caught my attention was a photo of a guy with a tribal design tattooed on his back. He was standing on a beach with his sexy back exposed to the camera. His ripped torso alone was so yummy ha, what more if he showed pa his face.

I opened his profile to check more about my potential guy. Goodness, he was so gorgeous I could have wet myself in an instant. Imagine bud, his pectorals and shoulder blades were perfect. He had pointy, high-bridged nose and a strong jaw that made his face appear commanding. He was a Chinito and was God's gift to big boys like us. Unfortunately he's married and have kids at a young age of 23. Oh well, he's one guy that exists to be admired and be drooled by the likes of us.

I already had an extra account in G4M since last week. I was suppose to do an experiment about a very ugly guy. (the photos I used were from Ms. Macaldo that was cropped and mutilated by a collegue) I wanted to know how the nagmamaganda folks from the website would respond to his flirty private messages.

However, I got bored with the experiment because the photo-cropper did not give me a new batch of pictures to add to my experiment's profile. Besides, nobody responds to my private messages, not even the most effeminate ones. After browsing the married guy's profile on Friendster, a new idea sparked inside my head. I would use him as a fodder for my new experiment. Immediately, I scrapped Ms. Macaldo's traces on my new G4m account and replaced it with the photos of the guy I found on Friendster.

The married hottie suddenly became an "unsure" tripper.

---

The new photos were approved this morning. On the profile's first two hours of being "parked" in Guys4Men, tens of private messages from other members came rushing in. Most of them sent messages of admiration to my guy's flawless half-naked body. When I responded to their messages favorably, they would send back replies laced with sexual overtones. Some were even so aggressive from the start that they would not beat around the bush and solicited hook-ups at 9 in the morning.

What's flattering about using the guy's profile was that those equally muscled guys from G4M, who would outrightly ignore my own profile's messages suddenly were the one sending messages to my experiment account. I was so overwhelmed by their admiration that I can't help but be flattered myself- even if I don't own the pictures.

To give credit to the married guy who really owns the pictures I "borrowed," I made sure that his "character" would remain dignified and noble, even if I used it in a sleazy website. I made sure that he won't appear choosy or harsh to other guys in G4M. Honestly bud, I felt guilty yesterday while uploading his pictures.

But this is something I want to experience myself.

For the first time, I felt how it was like to be attractive to the eyes of everyone.

And what I've learned from the experience is something I never expected.

---

single
has a five year old son
has big businesses in mandaluyong
lives in rockwell center
drives a customized lancer evo

what can i say, life has been good to me
and i hope to share it with you.

-tobecontinued-

Grade 3 (Tagay Mo Par Remix) Remembered

Isa pang ikinabilib niya sayo, ang tibay mo daw sa inuman. Un daw ang gusto nya. Nakikipagsabayan. Hehe.

- Centurion's text message to me the other day.

---

In the age of Kitsune, July 8, 2007

I realized that after downing four bottles of Red Horse Beer and three bottles of San Mig Light; and after having a passionate lip and tongue-locking scandal at a billiard bar's public restroom unmindful of the other guests, especially the group of fratmen who accidentally saw us; and after pressing his fingers inside a jeepney on our way home,

Never has someone made me feel so alive, especially in the posession of a certified horndog.

---

Almost a year later.

We still text each other. He's still the same happy-go-lucky barako dude that I admired before. The naughty days are over and we have established ourselves as good buddies.

But whenever I look back at that moment when intimacy was so imminent; in all my nature and habit to ditch the men who would get too close to me, who would have thought we'd keep each other's company? Even if we have some almost-nasty histories to remind us of our beginnings.

We consider each presence part of each other's life.

Signs Of His Awakening (Episode I) | Hibernation

Vassago in demonology, is a mighty Prince of Hell, ruling over twenty-six legions of demons. He can be persuaded to tell the magician of events past and future, can discover hidden and lost things, and has a "good" nature.

One early description of Vassago was that he appeared "as an aged man riding a crocodile and carrying on his right wrist a Goshawk. His eyes are hollow and see into other dimensions, but he is blind in this dimension.

Vassago enjoys changing form and has been known to play games with magicians that call on him. Once seen as a dark and menacing entity, in recent years he is now being thought of as being, playful, and mostly harmless.

- Wikipedia entry on Demons

---

I got acquainted with a PLU who dabbles into occultism a few weeks before I deleted my G4M account. In those days, I was beginning to feel sick and tired of sex threads becoming too recycled with the usual guys looking for orgies, threesomes or malicious "sleep-overs" again and again. With my home thread already buried under heaps of threads seeking sexual invitations or accusations of unspeakable illness, I decided to move into other forums where people talk about something else aside from looking for hook-ups day and night.

One thread that caught my attention was the Wiccan Thread found in the Spirituality Forum. It was my desperate need of a Mangtatawas that drove me to that place and the first person I ended up talking to appears to be a conjurer of demons.

For those who are not into esoteric matters, a conjurer is someone who invokes earth-bound spirits or demons to do their bidding. Whether these were done to gain more knowledge, wisdom or even to play malicious trick with someone is something I don't know. The guy and I talked about his interests in Alchemy. I even encouraged him to continue his passion even if his family strongly disapproved of it.

We then talked about Theosophy and my growing interest in that subject. You see, Theosophy is a religious philosophy that states that all religion are attempts by the "Spiritual Hierarchy" to help humanity in evolving to greater perfection, and that each religion therefore has a portion of the truth. I told him of my keen interest in joining the Theosophical Society. He said that once he went to their gathering where he drank so many cups of strong coffee because "their discussion made him feel sleepy. "

Though he said that the members of the society were "nice and helpful," what bothered me was his claim that he "sensed some of them were closet Satanist." It doesn't matter if these people are, but what made me back-off was the fact that I might be talking to a practicing one.

I don't find anything wrong talking to a Satanist. In several occasions, I found myself throwing my sympathy to one after a bunch of religious bigots ganged up on him in one of the threads in the same forum before. He did find my support unusual so I told him that the reason why I agreed with him is because he knows and understands the underlying tenets real Satanist adhere to.

You see, a true Satanist is proud, cold-blooded and abhors any form of hypocrisy displayed especially by those ruled by dogmatism and narrow-minded practice of faith. They resort to Black Magik (as they call them) to invoke spirits and demons to guide them in their dark lives. I never met one personally, but I am certain that I would sense their brooding darkness when I see one, and this brooding attitude and ability to use dark energy is what I'm not comfortable with them.

The conjurer I've talked to encouraged me to summon Vassago on several occasions. Since I don't know anything about demonology or conjuring before I met him, I turned to Wikipedia to find out who Vassago is. It turns out he is a prince of darkness who controls vast legions in the underworld. Though he appears harmless according to those who have summoned him, I prefer to have no dealings with the demons no matter how open my mind is to their presence.

We gradually lost contact after we have talked about the demons and summonings. I realized that he is not the right person who could show me the way in any personal spiritual journey I would like to undertake in this lifetime.

Nevertheless, for a moment in our conversation, I had an inkling thought of what powers to ask if a demon would grant me one.

True to my nature.

What I would ask for is the power to take away fear, pain and suffering of those who would ask it humbly from me.

Goodbye G4M

It's been a month since I began harboring thoughts of death.

And these past few weeks, the thoughts had already invaded even the sanctuary of my dreams.

Take for example this morning. I dreamed of a funeral procession of some people I don't know. I won't get into details, lest people might give another scarier interpretation of my dream. But it was a very harrowing experience. I woke up shaking under the sheets. My head was throbbing in pain and my thoughts were desperately clinging to the last bits of memory of that nightmare. It's like I'm trying to recount the scenes to scare myself to utter submission. It took me sometime before I could regain my composure and in my most helpless state, all I could do is hide under the comforter while reciting the Lord's prayer.

I am not good with interpretations. Nevertheless, the dream was something extremely disturbing and it gave me some massive blows even before I began my day. Gone are my dreams of sunsets, in high places looking at an endless field below. Gone also are my dreams of stretching my neck to look at the purplish sky and bask in a moment's harmony while staring at the sky above.

If one would open my heart these days, that person would discover a very very distant Joms swallowed completely by his own fears. I wouldn't tell what fears these are, but I can say that they are sufficient enough to drive me in a prolonged state of agony. Looking at the signs I have read in Wikipedia some days ago, I could only assume that what I am experiencing right now is a major depressive disorder.

The only difference is, I don't feel like talking about it with anyone and I'm struggling to get past it by adopting methods that would keep me distracted such as:

• Watching cartoons from Nickolodeon and Animax at 2 in the morning
• Playing my favorite video games like Civilization 4 (I would re-install Sims 2 on my computer after I'm done with my papers)
• Puffing Cigarettes or Huffing Vicks Vaporub
• Oversleeping
  
• Insisting to be locked up in my room.

When things become extremely difficult, especially during the random panic attacks, I would seek refuge with the Divine to keep me sane and strong in times I'm on the verge of breaking down. I tell you, it's wearing me sometimes and what keeps me afloat were the countless prayers I recited whenever I'm grasping for air. I swear, once I find the prayer booklets that my mom gave me when I was a kid, I might resort to praying the rosary just to keep myself away from my fears and depression. Indeed, faith becomes strongest when one have lost all hopes in finding peace from earthly things.

I told Mami Athena about the dream I had this morning. Its effect was so severe that I decided not to go to work this afternoon. She told me that it represents a beginning of something and I shouldn't worry about it. I don't know where she got the interpretation, but I think she is right with her reading on one very important aspect:

I am not sure what new beginnings I would face, but indeed, I am changing.

In the past few entries, I admitted that I've lost interest in many PLU affairs. I got bored with sex. I don't find night-outs thrilling anymore and I have completely become unacquainted with the night environment. The first thing that would come to mind the moment my shift ends is home.

In other words, I have turned against many of my hedonistic pursuits.

And lately, I've been thinking about the relevance of having a G4 account when I know that I have closed my doors to anyone who would force me to come out of my hermetic existence. You see, even in my heydays, I never used that website to its full capacity. What does it serve me, now that my path leads me to the opposite direction of my former life?

Therefore, I have come to conclusion that I won't need my Guys4Men account anymore. It made me connect with many powerful people, but its harsh, sad and cruel environment had finally awakened my senses.

I hope this is what Mami's interpretation of my dream is about. Now that G4M is out of my system, I hope this changes would open new heights of existence just like what she told me not so long ago.

Sick Sad World

From G4M:

i had a friend working in one of the hospital here in manila. And i had seen this guy and nakwento ng kaibigan ko and that is pookee* as what people call him keekee*, daria* and marami pa syang nick.

Unfortunately nagpacheck up nga sya and he has been found to be Positive of the disease. di ko sana dapat sabihin to but... as what i have heard his promiscuous and never been into safe sex if you had sex with this guy please be aware that you might be infected with the disease.

His aware that he has the disease and living HIV carrier but his still having sex with multiple partners. His a bottom most of the time and some people here soon will know they are infected onces you will get yourself check.

I had a friend here soon will open up. His not yet ready but i know we can justify this thing.

I had someone who can justify he had been inflicted with gonnorhea with this guy.

ill ask him to write a reply for this forum.

Heres his link and number

guys4men profile name is xxx

friendster link http://profiles.friendster.com/16*****

name : oeureure

cellphone number 091********

as far as i know his working in a callcenter in Makati

---

Apologies for the sensitivity of my entry. Personally, I do not wish to bring up the topic in my blog knowing that I am not spared myself from such possible fate.

However, it disturbs me to hear other gay guys creating threads and spreading unverified and very damaging rumors like this in a forum like G4M. Imagine his cruelty guys, not only did he mention the full name of the person, he also posted his picture all over the thread. I know that doctors and medical professionals have a sworn duty not to reveal a patient's information, whether it is true or not. But here is a kid - a 21 year old brat in all his confidence telling everyone that the person he claims to own the profile has an HI Virus.

We all know how dreaded the disease is. It is a fate worse than death. In fact, a large part of the sufferings and torments of a patient comes from the social stigma and psychological terror that comes with the disease. Some cultures are too terrified to talk about it and being a country steeped in hollowed conservatism and excess biases, those who have the disease has no chance of getting genuine sympathy and support from people who are blessed enough not to get it.

I remember having a conversation with Gripen one evening. I told him that I think, what complicates the disease are the drugs that are used to contain it. What makes a person die from it is his own unwillingness to live. Then he told me of this HIV patient who survives until now after contracting the disease more than a decade ago. According to Gripen, this person stopped having those retroviral drugs after he simply got tired of it. Instead, he devoted himself to healthy living and meditation every day. What I think made the person survive is his sheer willingness to live. After all, I am a strong adherent of life springing from those who truly desire it.

I sincerely wish that a drug will be discovered that could finally cure patients with this virus. I think there's too much sufferings, sadness and cruelty in the world because of the stigma that HI Virus carries with it. It is not the first time I stumbled a thread in G4M implicating a member who allegedly has the disease. Most of the time, such threads are simply created to destroy a member's credibility and nothing more.

Karma seeks retribution. That's what I've learned from life. I am sure these rumor spreaders, whether they did it for their own selfish intents or for blinded, distorted morality will have their time in the future.

It just pains me to feel what those true sufferers must have been feeling right now. No wonder, I still see hospitals as the saddest place on earth.

War-Dance

Consider this a form of man to man chest thumping...









VS







---

01 Feb 2008, 13:51
Mugen: nice pose bro.

01 Feb 2008, 14:30
Guy: SEX TAYO....

02 Feb 2008, 14:29
Mugen: taglibog ah. Ano kaya mong gawin?

04 Feb 2008, 09:37
Guy: trip kong kantutin ka dyan sa gym mo.... he he h... or sa bahay na lang...mag shabu tayo tapos sex...

04 Feb 2008, 17:50
Mugen: hayup ang trip mo pare ah. haha. tangina tinigasan ako.

04 Feb 2008, 17:52
Guy: i go sa same gym mo...iu crecognize the shower..we can do it there if you want...

04 Feb 2008, 17:59
Mugen: boring sa shower pare. palaban ka rin naman edi maglaban tayo kung san tayong dalawa lang ang magkaharap.

---

His replies came as a complete surprise. For a moment I had second thoughts of replying to his messages. However, when I figured out that he appears to be taking me for a ride, I responded with the same degree of brutality only my Kitsune personality is capable of.

The war-dance is still ongoing and I don't know where it would lead to. But if you ask me, he's too much as an aggressor. I still hope things would end up as a mere bluff.

Now you ask me why I posted this entry? Wala lang, I really find his posing and replies very sexy. Rarely do guys get my attention like this.

---

Epilogue: It was a bluff. The moment when he asked for my face-pic, I immediately disengaged. Still bearing the scars of previous battles, I decided that it would be better to play safe and make an excuse that for security reasons, I don't show my face in my profile.

The showdown ended in silence.

Period

02 Feb 2008, 14:18
guy: u from ust?...have any face pic?

02 Feb 2008, 14:30
mugen: i dont give my facepic.

02 Feb 2008, 14:49
guy: but ur from ust..?..wat course?

02 Feb 2008, 14:49
mugen: paano mo nalaman na tiga uste ako?

02 Feb 2008, 14:50
guy: i saw a posting of urs..in auste forum..thats why....

from wat college ka?

02 Feb 2008, 14:58
guy: or grad k n ng ust?..coz ur 26 already..

im from cfad...how bout u?.....

or can i just hav ur cp no..?..if its fine..tnx

02 Feb 2008, 15:02
mugen: no way pare. we're not close. Why should i give you those details?

02 Feb 2008, 15:06
guy: masungit ka pla..

thtas why im asking to know u better...

anyway..if u dont want to..thats fine .....

maybe if ur still in ust...we can just bump in to each other..witout knowing...na were both from g4m.....hehe

---

Call me cold and harsh, but this is how I respond to guys that gets into my nerves.

And you know the reason why? It's because he doesn't know that he's already stepping into my comfort zone when in fact, he hasn't been welcomed yet.

Take for example his introductory message above. It was very clear in my profile that I do not give my face-pics to people I don't trust yet. Pero siya naman eh sobrang confident that his looks would give him the attitude to cross me prematurely. He was asking me a personal detail, that I never give out to strangers in that pretentious-infested website. My response was very cold and I made it clear that I don't find his first message very pleasing. In fact, if I received such response from someone, I would have easily understood that he wants me to back-off.

Yet, this guy seems so confident with himself that he would get what he wants from me. He continued insisting to find out if I am from UST or not. This in turn caught my attention in a very irking manner. I asked him why he wants to know when in fact, we're not even close. Besides, I don't even find his question crucial to our confidence-building exchanges.

In the end, I ignored his messages thinking he would get what I really wanted to convey. However, he never stopped asking me the same question over and over, believing that he could sway me into giving away my details due to ceaseless insistence. Kaso mo, wala ako sa mood makipagkulitan kaninang tanghali, tuloy, nasungitan ko siya.

---

I hope that this would serve as a lesson to others to pay attention to what the profile of a guy says. Believe me, even I, who claims to have never been ignored in that website recently, still submit to the demands of the guy that I wish to talk to. I always put myself in an inferior position, knowing that most men (especially the masculine ones) wants to be superior to those who wishes to reach out to them.

If my message gets through, my provocative, half-naked pictures would back me up. If they find some time reading the introduction that I have written in my profile, this would give them an idea that they are speaking to someone who has the attitude to match theirs. Everything is just a power play and being well-experienced in this man-to-man interaction, I know how to reach out without negatively rubbing the guy's heavily protected ego.

When all considerations have been thought about and after realizing that my message is as harmless as a wandering butterfly, I would eventually get my answers. Sometimes, the answers that I received are even laced with sexual favors, that I reject knowing it was not my motive in the first place.

The guy stopped sending me a message after the second time I ignored him. During the course of the day, I ignored several more private messages ranging from sending a boring "hi nasl" message to an inuman invitation to spontaneous meet-ups for sex. Some of these guys are visibly more buffed and good-looking than me. The strange thing is that I ignored them, not because I am power tripping or I see myself superior to these people.

On the contrary, not only do I see myself physically inferior to these men, I also don't see any reasons for fucking up, now that my libog is still within levels that I can effectively manage with my own hand.

In Kitsune's Passing | The Aftermath

Me: It's like this. Something inside me wants to compete in those sex forums. But when I get rejected, an urge to fight back takes over me. It's like an endless cycle - me looking for approval. What's worse is that what I'm just seeking is an approval; that I could not accept being rejected.

I know everyone gets one. Maybe I don't get it yet. Somehow your presence enabled me to break the cycle.

- Pulsar, In the Name of Unholiness

---

Barely a week ago and my string of thoughts were very much different.

I was restless, horny, sexually deprived and extremely desperate for attention. I was set for a collision course with a think brick wall without thinking of the consequences of my over speeding. What I was aiming during those fiery nights was the kinkiest, most outrageous, or something extremely memorable fuck I could ever find. It was a one-shot deal that I needed in order to contain myself completely. It was my angst pushing me.

I sought advice from a gay priest in G4M. I do not know how well respected he is, but that evening, I saw him as a ray of light. He was someone who could hold me back against my own destructive self. I told him that I could not control my raging hormones - my overpowering lust. The more my sexual advances were getting rejected, the bolder I become in seeking it in that website. I told him that the cycle fueled my rage and in the end, it became an issue of approval.

It became a validation of my sagging self-esteem.

His advices were insightful. I thought he could temporarily pull me out and release me from my own demons. However, his moves became extremely confusing after I noticed how he was beginning to get into my pants. It felt like being stabbed by someone you started to trust.

That same night, I turned my attention elsewhere and waged a war against someone close to my location. It was for my own balance, but the battle was so lousy, it did not contain me completely in the end.

So I had to wage another war - this time, inside a bath house that has already become an extension of my world.

It was a battle of attrition. I never saw myself that assertive, dominant and controlling over other guys. Inside the bath house, I rejected others without any respect for their emotions. I laughed at guys who ignored my cautious advances, thinking it was their lost and not mine. I imposed my own needs and demands over others since they were the ones who pursued me. I saw myself as the hesitant player who had the power to choose the guy that I want.

Inside the bath house, I sought for the alpha males and in my darkest, reckless self, I got what I want.

---

Now back to the website, the tables were suddenly turned against the other members.

Since my libido has been completely wiped out, I do not have to prove myself to people anymore. Armed with several half-naked body shots and a profile introduction that suggest a hyper-masculine personality, it isn't difficult for me to exchange messages with virtually anyone in the website.

Doon, basta may hubad na katawan ka at may angas ang profile mo, kahit wala kang face-pic, kakausapin at kakausapin ka ng mga tao.

There are times, other guys would send me a private message. It contains the usual lines such as "ang astig naman ng profile mo," or "nakakatakot naman yung baril mo," or even the simplest but most boring "hi, nasl? number please" kind of message just to get my attention. I respond depending on how friendly and sensible their message is or how interesting their profile introductions are. Since I am not looking for a fuck, I would rather build up my connections with people who can still see the human-es in me.

As part of being human, ripped bodies and cute (maangas) faces would always get a consideration. Often, they are the ones I'd first make contact with so long as the conversation remains friendly. However, when I feel that the exchanges would lead to a request of face-pic, I immediately disengage from our message exchanges. In the past two weeks, I already figured out that half of the people in G4M is only interested in your face-pic and nothing more..

Now that things have become normal, I begin to comprehend the other side of G4M, which I never completely understood when it was me who was at the loosing end of the carnal bargains. In all the countless private messages that I received after the Bath House episode, only two guys really caught my attention. The rest - the ripped ones, the faggoty ones and even the girly ones were all ignored. Some who even sent their face-pics in hopes of getting mine in exchange were outrightly turned away. They never got a reply and I'm sure that they felt exactly the same way when I was the one seeking other people's attention.

Now these two guys, which I took seriously were not really the good-looking ones. They're not even within my standards of lust. I showed them my good side because I felt they were doing the same to me. It's like finding a rare person who isn't corrupted yet with the system, and to boost their hope that not everyone had already become looks-centered in that website, I decided to become their example.

The conversations are still ongoing and remains fruitful the longer we talked to each other. It remains friendly and cordial, and the conversations usually revolved in petty issues, which I am most comfortable of talking about - PLU exploration. In the end, even if I do not see where such exchange of private messages would lead to, I know that I am already touching their lives.

---

Two of the blogs that I read this afternoon wrote that G4M is the harshest website they have ever been to. In fact, they never dared to return again. In many ways they are correct. It is a huge meatshop for gay guys to show and display their stuff. Some would show their chiseled chest and torso or an angular shot of their 5-inch dick or they baby boy face or their big biceps or even their most drag outfit just to get other's acceptance. Those who gets the best offers are the hunkiest, most masculine and the most good-looking, anak-ng-diyos, god-bless-his-genes guys around. These guys often preoccupy themselves hunting for equally hot guys they can fuck with. These men usually post in the sex and fetish forums looking for SEB's, threesomes or even orgies where all the participants are carefully screened for even the slightest deformation they can see in the participant's face-pic/body pic.

The ones who are often left behind are the chubbies, effeminates and lankies who pass their time building clans (that also serves as their petty kariran grounds) or lashing against one another over who's the better diva or what's the better TV station or even who's the cuter guy in G4M.

I sometimes wonder how do these people endure being left out, ignored or being okray-ed simply because of what they are.

No wonder, many ask if long-term contact, or even love still exist among PLUs...

---

Looking at these examples, it's obvious that I exist in a very tough and harsh world.

And sometimes, I really wonder why I still enjoy staying in such forsaken place.

Shapeshifter

Given the chance I could become someone else, I'd pick this guy as my template. I found him browsing my profile this evening.



Now you know, whats extremely hottie guy for me. God bless his genes.

---

Profile details:

35 years old. Extremly attractive, and HUNG ( 10.5 inches ) Black/Native American Mix Guy looking for Mr. Right. I'm an Int'l Jetsetter so location UNIMPORTANT!!!!!

In The Name Of Unholiness

I thought I found a ray of light... but I was very very wrong.

---

Me: would it be alright to bookmark you so...


....So that even in this dark and forsaken place, I would still be reminded that there is light?

Spiritual Adviser: Tell me so I can pray with u or for u ...
Miy problems is worth half a million > how much is yours. Im not loosing hope.

God is good to me all the time.

Me: Nothing really that big. I'm just trying to contain my urges. :)

Thanks for replying. It really means a lot.

Spiritual Adviser: Why dont u jack off or look for someone to jack u off. dont control your murges, let go to the one u love...

Me: I'd try that. Maybe its my exposure here that's driving me this way.

Spiritual Adviser: Exposure to way ang edad mo ay eded ng malilibog dats why u need a lover or partner to fool arouid.

Spiritual Adviser: There is nothing wrong with having a release with another consenting adult.

Me: It's like this. Something inside me wants to compete in those sex forums. But when I get rejected, an urge to fight back takes over me. It's like an endless cycle - me looking for approval. What's worse is that what I'm just seeking is an approval; that I could not accept being rejected.

I know everyone gets one. Maybe I don't get it yet. Somehow your presence enabled me to break the cycle.

Me: I know. I just think that i'm too sexual that's why I'm concerned. :)

Spiritual Adviser: With my age, I had a thousand rejections. Rejection is normal. If we are rejcted, by some one then lets move on.

50% of the guys in the sex forum are just fooling around.Pagdi mo kilala ang tao di ka dapat mag seb kasi u either get held up or hold up or std or hiv....

So be cool and take rejection with a good laugh

Me: thats what i'm trying to learn.

Thank you very much for listening. Next time we see each other. I will make sure i'm in a better standing than it is today.

God bless po.

Spiritual Adviser: are u a virgin in sexual matters ?

Me: nope. thats what i'm afraid of. If I'd unleash myself right now, I'd released the sexual side of me.

Spiritual Adviser: hahahahahahaha.

Hindi naman ganyan. I can teach u one by one if u like.
Its not that serious. Ur standards and moiral values with still control u.

my number 09164xxxxx. im glove unlitixt so pwede tau text if globe ka na. My nephew will use the pc. text ka pa glove ka. keep in touch.

U sound delicious, In my 55 years never had a virgin in my entire life.

God bless,

Me: Thanks. Take care and god bless. My shift is over. See you again here.

Spiritual Adviser: I will be your sex slave. hehehehehehe

---

I do not know if he was propping me up. As an adviser myself, I do not, in any way use sexual overtones directed at those I am giving counseling. It is difficult to be misunderstood.

As it stands. I felt betrayed by the person I was hoping who could pull me up, now that I am the one sinking. But it appears like, I am in for a trap.

Jomanian rule stands: A friend is a friend, an SEB partner is for sex only and can become an enemy. Flirting and provocation is construed as an act of aggression - which my history tells, always end in a fall out of any cordial friendship.

So at 1:00 am this morning. With no temporary solution to the carnal crisis I was facing.

I declared war... against someone near my location.

It was for my own piece of mind. I need it so that I can restore order inside my deranged head.

But, for all intents and purposes, it was a boring fuck.

I would have been better off, if I allowed Kitsune to frolic once again the place that spawned him sometime before.

---

The terrace where the opening salvo began was dark and the lights around us were turned off. Downstairs, a group of ladies were still having a late-night chat with their boy friends. In front of us was the breathtaking view of Pioneer Street; with its glittering skyscrapers and sparkling billboard signs and lattices from office towers that are still to be completed.

The blowjob was great.

But it would have been better if it was done by someone who can be as aggressive as me.

Trademark Of Humanity

29 Dec 2007, 21:04
Happy Camper: hehe yeah still me. pero im a bit lonely tonight but dont worry about me. =)

29 Dec 2007, 21:05
Orbitz: yep it shows in the way u write ur pms to me. Bakit ka malungkot?

29 Dec 2007, 21:07
Happy Camper: heheh its kinda corny. in short i miss human physical and emotional interaction, hehe not sex, just cuddle, lambingan kung baga.

29 Dec 2007, 21:08
Orbitz: who isnt. sometimes its a rare commodity. when i was a little younger, id give a fuck just to get a little hug.

---

What can I say. We're just mere humans not to feel...

Colder Than December

guys, mack me or tect me if you wanna spend the holidays with me..

09293xxxxx1

give ur pic site, nasl, stats

and for discreet versa only

---

ako din,
i dunno if im gonna go home, ang layo kasi ng province namin.

san kaya pwede mag saya?????
help me naman, baka may alam kayo pwede puntahan.

---

cnu kaya pde puntahan wakekekek

---

Im throwing a party at my place for those who are good looking and will be spending their Christmas alone.... Message me =>

Tehehehehe

---

alphaω >>>> mga goodlooking guys lang?
naku mukhang magiisa nga lang talaga ko ngyng pasko ... hahaha


merixmassssss

---

Technically, i'm alone tonight.

---

same here, mag isa lng kasama computer ko at mga frends whos online di tayo nag iisa mag saya pa rin po life must goes on.....Mery Xmas sa lahat ng mag iisa mamaya

---

hehehe kahit hindi pasko along pa rin nman ako s place ko eh... walang nagbago... maslumamig nga lang huhuhu

---

Twenty six years and I have never imagined myself spending my Christmas alone. I'm so used to living the tradition that a slight deviation from it leaves me scampering out of the strangeness I would be feeling.

Tonight, even the most promiscuous ones sought the company of others, anyone who could make their midnight warmer than other nights. Many others will be spending the birth of Jesus Christ sleeping, working in a graveyard shift job or even wandering in the cold - while those who are fortunate among us would be having Noche Buena, opening of gifts, having a great laugh with loved ones...

And having that warm hug that we're used to getting this time of the year.

One of those who would be spending Christmas alone is my buddy.

And for that, even if I will have the traditional Pasko tonight.

I leave a part of me celebrating the holidays with those who are alone this Noche Buena.

Merry Christmas guys.

Pink Heart (Epilogue)

"I stumbled upon this blog and I was surprised.........

thank you thank you thank you for the kind words.

we just had our outreach for 2007 last November 17 at the Chapel of Hope, St. John Ma. Vianney Parish, Guadalupe, Makati.

I promise you, we will be relentless in fulfilling at least one outreach per year. Together with Divas and Berkey, we shall pursue this despite whatever we hear from people. Ours is not because we wanted to be photographed or publicized. We are way past that stage. We will continue on doing so because we believe that it is the right thing to do, despite our lifestyle.

And you are correct. It was a heart warming experience, not for me, but for all of us.

thank you thank you thank you..

I hope you get to visit us once in a while...."

- Rotogold

---

An act of kindness will be discovered, no matter how one tries to keep it a secret.

It was a balmy afternoon almost two years ago when the activity was set forth. I came from work and I had to trudge my way to Tayuman to bring the two cartons of infant's milk that I promised for my contribution. They organized an outreach program for orphans and at the helm of this massive effort were some very good-hearted homosexuals from the website guys4men (G4M).

The summer was about to end and joining them was not initially part of my plans. I do not even belong either to one of their umbrella groups. However, it just so happened that when I decided to stalk their threads, a guy posted a message and it convinced me to volunteer despite the risk of outing myself to a very large community.

"Pwede ko ba bigyan ng saysay ang buhay ko at sumali dito?" was the guy's posted message.

It was a mere one-liner but it moved me to support the effort unrestrictedly. For all the sex parties, sex eye balls, grand eye balls, threesomes and orgy invitations posted in g4m daily, rarely do homosexuals get organized for such a humanitarian effort like the one headed by Rotogold and Divas.

My chance to finally justify my existence as a homosexual was laid down to me.

All I have to do is grab the opportunity and be proud of what I have done.

---

Spending a late afternoon with orphans was a moving experience.

The kids were mostly abandoned because of their birth deformities, or their parents simply surrendered them out of extreme poverty. They have their own tiny sheltered world run by nuns lead by the late Mother Teresa herself. First impressions would tell that they are well sustained by the foundation that runs the orphanage. However, unlike the bigger institutions, they receive less attention and visitors from the outside world.

It seems like our contingent was the first to visit that summer.

Two years after it all happened, the scenes inside the children's quarters remain vividly imprinted in my thoughts:

Little toddlers limping towards the visitors, our presence, like a break to the endless monotony they have to live every day; Babies who could not even cry because of the large tubes inserted in their mouths; the only response to the affection you show them is a tight grip at your pinky finger, as if asking you not to leave; A teenager girl who sat in a wheelchair. Her thought process can be compared to those of a twelve-year old, trying to retell you her ongoing sad story that the nuns and volunteer caregivers have heard a million times over; Children's beds being shared by two or three babies, wishing to be carried around but their uncontrollably salivating mouths or bulging eyes discouraged you from doing so because of their fragility.

What's so sad about their fate is that they will have to live such existence for the rest of their lives. With such disadvantages, nobody would most likely adopt them. They are one of the most unwanted children alive.

That summer, I learned a little lesson about the value of affection. In the long course of time, that summer went on to become the most meaningful I had in recent years.

What I find very strange is that after the two-part entry was buried in heaps of other posts, it was suddenly and surprisingly found by one of the organizers of the outreach program.

- Exactly at a time when a new generation of PLUs from another world not connected with G4M decided to follow their lead and organize the same kind of outreach program for orphans.

There must be a universal connection between the cross-worlds.

Kindness is indeed, contagious.

---

Despite the festive mood I saw while being there, I still wondered how it would look like if it was a mere ordinary day for them? Would they still feel perky and excited? Would Anna still try to unleash the inner raging diva in her and sing in front of everyone? One thing is sure though, and I felt it whenever I was left alone while looking at the eyes of the children who lives in that orphanage; the place may perhaps be the only home to these kids, but underneath the veil of care and attention given to them by the nuns and their trusted assistants, it still remains a desolate and lonely place to stay.

I wonder how it feels like growing up without experiencing being hugged?

- Pink Heart (Ending)

Bad Boy

While hanging out in G4M this evening:

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10 Nov 2007, 19:09
juicytyt_ass: fuck mo ako..asan k?

10 Nov 2007, 19:17
You: nasa earth pare.

10 Nov 2007, 19:24
juicytyt_ass: ayos din sagot mo ano...intayin mo ang hagupit ng kidlat n tatama sau kung nasan k man sa earth..gud look...expect the cursed u been waiting for!

10 Nov 2007, 19:27
You: Magbasa ka ng profile. Kala mo lahat ng tao dito eh palakantot eh.

---

It really pisses me off when some guy would send me a private message only to leave such blunt and sleazy invitation like what is written above. I understand that G4M is a cruise site. There is no doubt about that. But to go down to such level as what he did in order to get my attention, simply turned me off.

I don't go for guys who doesn't have any respect or pride for themselves.

What's really sad is that he ain't good-looking either to make such overconfident invitations. Confident guys would prefer to do it discreetly and indirectly. To give you an idea about what he looked like; he is chubby and pale-looking. Don't get me wrong though, sexual standards is different from friendship. I have friends who are chubby, and even effeminate - and they don't have any complains on how I treat them and our friendship. My point is, desperate guys who swallow whatever pride that remains in them just to get a guy in bed severely disappoints me.

Pathetic isn't it?

My reply was very sarcastic. It was even harsh to some extent because I could have said it in a nicer way, or even ignored his message compeletely. But without bitchy guys like me, no one would rudely awaken them to the reality that guys sought their equal. He should learn from the hipons in G4M, who never dared to show their head pics. If they know that they are no match for masculine and slim-toned guys, then there is a proper and sensible way to reach out and establish friendly contacts with these guys.

He should learn that not all members of G4m are promiscuous enough to fuck anyone who sends them sexual favors. Guys like him should learn to read profiles.

Karma might get back at me for sure. But at least, I gave someone a valuable lesson in handling their PLU to PLU affairs. For if he continues to send improper and sleazy invitations like what I received to guys in the website;

He would continue to attract sarcastic, or even harsh replies from guys who does not find him their kind of trip.

Role Reversal (Again)

Mugen | Hakked says:
[insert the name of officemate here]

Mugen | Hakked says:
gusto mo makakita ng jumbolake?

Bektas STOP HAUNTING ME...CUZ IM IN LOVE...AGAIN! says:
send mo

Mugen | Hakked says:
w8

Mugen | Hakked says:
share ko sayo

Mugen | Hakked says:
nagising ako bigla eh

Mugen | Hakked says:
hehehe

Bektas STOP HAUNTING ME...CUZ IM IN LOVE...AGAIN! says:
Go!!

Mugen | Hakked says:
http://www.guys4men.com/members/######

Bektas STOP HAUNTING ME...CUZ IM IN LOVE...AGAIN! says:
talap

Mugen | Hakked says:
haha

Mugen | Hakked says:
tamang pampagising na yun

Mugen | Hakked says:
binookmark ko nga eh

---

Habang nagboboy-watching ako sa G4M ngayong umaga, nag-click ako ng profile ng isang binatang nagmamayabang sa thread na siya ay may angking pagkalalaki na maaring ipagmalaki.

Dahil na-curious ako sa kanyang statement, cli-nick ko ang kanyang profile. Mukha naman siyang astig at barako kung pagmamasdan mo ang kanyang face-pic. Hindi siya yung tipong boy-next door type, ngunit masasabing malakas na rin ang appeal niya dahil sa kanyang natatanging masculine appearance.

Nagpatuloy ako sa pag-eexplore ng kanyang profile. Ngayon naman ay cli-nick ko ang kanyang "X" pic. Nang ito'y aking nabuksan, tila isang kasamba-sambang bagay ang tumambad sa aking computer screen.

Tangina ang laki! Nakakalula!!

Kung hindi ako nasa opisina ngayon ay matagal ko pa itong tinitigan (at pinagpantasyahan). Hindi pa ako nakuntento't ibinahagi ko pa ang aking diskubre sa mga taong kausap ko noong mga oras na iyon.

Matapos i-bookmark, napaisip akong muli kung ano ba ang meron sa "malaki" at "mataba," at kung bakit ito'y tinitingala at pinagpapantasyahan ng mga katulad ko. Ito ba ay dahil sa dala nitong challenge para sa isang PLU na makaka-sparring niya? O Ito ba ay dahil sa mental fixation na ang "pag-aari" ay ang pinakamanifestation ng pagkabarako at sexual prowess ng isang lalaki?

Naalala ko tuloy, sa tuwing may magku-kwento sa akin ng kanilang encounter sa "dambuhala," hangga't maari ay hinihiling kong putulin nila ang kwento sa takot na baka ako ay ma-inspire at maghanap ng aking sariling encounter with a dambuhala.

Naroon kasi ang thrill eh.

Sa kasamaang palad, ito ang isa sa mga bagay na hindi ko maaring mapag-experimentuhan. Kung dati-rati ay nakapag-experimento akong maging buff sa tulong ng pic ng iba, at nagawa ko itong i-convert upang i-develop ang aking sarili patungo sa direksyong ganoon, ang pagiging "extra large" ay isang bagay na genetics na talaga ang may control.

Sadyang kaunti lang talaga ang mga taong biniyayaan ng ganung pagkalalaki.

Nag-offline ako na higit na mas confused, ngunit dazzled sa aking nakita. Kung bakit ba naman kasi parang magnet sa mata ang makakita ng ganung klaseng mga hiwaga eh.

Napaisip tuloy ako sa aking balak na role reversal...

Tsk... isang tingin ko lang sa kanya, nagkaroon ako ng Penis Envy bigla.

---

Epilogue: Suplado siya. Yun lang. And for that, I deleted his profile in my bookmark; and I would stick to my original plan of becoming a top, when I feel that my bottom poses some interesting challenge. From thenceforth, I proclaim myself a versatile.