I Love You!

:)

It Goes A Long Way.

Simple acts of kindness are often the best.

I still remember the time when this old man sat next to me at the mosque.

After our prayers, he gave me $1 and told me to buy myself some ice-cream or something.

I was still a kid back then... so this $1 meant quite a bit to me.

I said thanks and went off to find my dad.

It's been so many years,

I don't remember who that man was,

but that simple act of kindness is still stuck in my memory and I cannot forget it.

It's amazing really what these simple acts of kindness can do... what kind of impression they leave on people.

Take for example, you making me Milo :)

What's the moral of the story here?

Kindness goes a long way, no matter how big or small.

+VE

Don't ever stop smiling. :)

Don't ever stop laughing. :)

Do your best and let Allah do the rest :)

No pain, no gain :)

Senyuman itu sedekah.

Stay positive, because ultimately, we are all blessed by Allah S.W.T.

Let's be gracious.

:)

Well.... we'll see how it long it goes.

Insya'allah it'll be for a long time.

The Dread Cycle.

Oh, the dreadful feeling in the pit of your stomach...

When I wake up, it's gonna be Sunday morning.

It's then I realize that tonight, I'm sleeping in CDA.

You wake up with the most SICKENING feeling ever.

You just don't feel like getting up at all.

You get up anyway.

As book-in timing approaches, you can feel as if you're slowly being sucked into a vortex,

A vortex that wouldn't return you to solid ground til' 5 days later.

And then the heartache of missing you sets in.

Back in the bunk, staring into the ceiling, your mind going through the events that went through the weekend...

"Was it enough?"

It's never enough.

Then you have this aching feeling for the following week to just swoop by so you can book-out again.

Please forgive me for being selfish again, darling.

I just can't help myself.

I don't feel like I've spent the day with you.

Mission: Impossible II

Well, since you're in such mindfuck over what you have to do to set your life straight,

How about a well-organised list to assist you?

1) Be kind. Be nice. Be gentle. Be humble.

2) Cut the crap. Seriously. It's like becoming a part of you.

3) Stop being selfish.

4) Don't forget to give Mom and Dad money.

5) Drive safer. And be a hell lot more patient.

6) Chin up. Don't be afraid to lead the way.

7) STOP DESTROYING YOUR OWN FACE.

8) Lose those Pirellis around your waist.

9) Acquire sufficient slumber.

10) Hate it again.

Any idea yet, buddy?

Good luck.

By the way, good job. You did well. *pats back*

Inside Out.

Why do I get this feeling every day that I'm becoming a bad person?

I get so easily frustrated on the road,

I enjoy pissing people off and even if they do deserve it, I still shouldn't do it.

That subconscious "me-against-the-world" mindset.

And I am so very selfish nowadays.

I also feel I'm getting aloof and my humility's going down.

I'm so impulsive. *sigh*

However,

I still have my self-confidence and my motivation.

.....

Where in the past I had no self-confidence and barely any motivation,

I had relatively good behaviour, selflessness, lots of patience and I just wanted goodness for everything.

Most importantly, I had my head firm on my shoulders and I thought things through before doing anything.

What the hell have I become? :(

Urgh, I feel like I've been turned inside out.

Baby, please still love me while I find a solution. Please forgive me if I ever did you wrong...

Allah's Gift To Me.

I love her. She's perfect for me.

Again, I'm left asking...

"What did I do to deserve her?"

This morning, I woke up feeling like the luckiest guy on Earth.

Darling, I loved every part with you yesterday.

I loved the newspaper wrappings with your cheeky messages.

I love the present.

I love the 21 kisses.

I love the small bottle with your words describing me.

I love the little "candlelight dinner" you set up.

And you looked beautiful. As always.

Only you can touch me to tears.

The effort you put in... :,)

I thank you again, Allah S.W.T, Most Almighty and Most Merciful, for the gift.

Slowly, you led me to her. I met her.

Then you opened my heart and eyes.

Then you guided my actions.

Then you opened her heart.

Now, we're here.

I always knew she was a gift. "Have you brought someone significant to me or do I have something to learn from all this?" Now I know the answer.

It's both.

She is someone very significant to me now. And through her, I've learnt to love. I've learnt to care about other people.

Alhamdullilah, again I thank you Allah.

I will take good care of her.

I will love her with all my heart.

And she deserves nothing but my best.

Please don't take her away from me, ever.

She's my strength, motivation, happiness and joy.

I hope she can stay with me for as long as possible.

I hope our love will stay strong, true and pure.

She deserves my T.L.C.

I will prove to you, Nad, just how much I love you.

Happy birthday, Danny boy. :)

The Time Machine.

Wow.

You gave me more than just your old phone.

You gave me a time machine.

This takes me back..... As I read our old messages, I could feel how I felt at that moment of time.

And the old stories are coming back to me now.

And why you hide so many pretty pictures of yourself?!

Hahahaha...

So many wonderful memories.

Another One's Shaking Their Head.

If there's something I'm certain I'm good at is disappointing people.

At CDA...

My encik,

My sergeants,

My section mates,

Elsewhere....

My friends,

My sister,

My brother,

My mom,

My dad,

My darling.

Worst of all...

I disappoint myself on a regular basis.

For every 1 time I'm proud of myself, there are a 100 more times I've let myself down.

And it must be the same for the number of people I made proud.

Sorry Sgt. Shafiq. Sorry Sgt. Adam. Sorry Sgt. Zaidi. Make you all facepalm so many times.

Sorry Ridhwan. Sorry Azhar. Sorry Zairil. For making us semula so many times.

Must be tiring.

Sorry, sayang. For making you angry. For disappointing you every night.

It seems that I am just unable to do anything right.

Weirdly Fresh.

I woke up this morning...

And I still have that "mind**** stage" feeling in me.

The feeling of wanting to chase your love.

It's weird but I like it...

I wanna so much to be with you now.

And I miss you.

And I can feel my love for you getting stronger.

I guess I sorta hit the reset button or something lol.

BATTLE STATIONS!

IT'S AN ACNE ATTACK!!!

ARGHHHHH!

Seriously, stop destroying your own face lah. -.-

Scratch here, pick there.

How to handsome?

Hahahahahahahaha!

But my body also got a lot sia.

Fark.

Damn you, hormones!

The moon is more smoother than my face now :(

Self-Revision.

Who knew...

All it took was a few hours alone outside.

Went shopping with myself today. Walking around town with my MP3 player as company.

Just like the old times.

I don't know what to say about the alone time I had.

It kinda sucked, but I learnt a lot from it.

Firstly, I had to navigate on my own. Didn't get lost ALHAMDULLILAH.

*sigh* I don't know what to say lah... People worried you'll get lost in town?

What do you think that means? *shakes head*

Hahaha but shopping on your own is kinda fun. No pressure! :D Take own sweet time. Woot!

But I'd still rather be holding your hand lookin' at stuff in the shop.

Another thing I experienced a bit was the feeling I had when I was single. Looking at couples and feeling envious. Feeling curious. "Damn, I wish I could hold hands with someone special." "Wow, I wonder what it feels like to be with someone you love."

And then suddenly, a familiar feeling returned.

The feeling I had about you back when I was at the mind**** stage.

The urge to always be with you.

The burning desire to make you happy.

And with the feeling, came the default mindset.

I'm still feeling it now as I'm typing this...

Subhanallah.. Thank you, Allah.

You've answered my prayers for guidance.

I know now what I must do.

It's just I got so much less time to work with.

Get to work, buddy.

You, My Blessing.

Nadhirah,

I can't believe how lucky I am to have found you.

This beautiful and cute girl.

Caring and compassionate.

Funny and weird.

Just the way I like it. :)

Oh, how easily you make me smile.

How you put my heart at ease.

How easily my tears roll down,

Thinking of the great times we had,

Whenever I miss you so.

I'm sorry for any trouble I've caused you and your family.

I'm sorry if I've been no help to solve your problems.

I'm sorry if I've disappointed you. Really I am.

I love you, darling.

My best friend.

My blessing.

Thank you, Allah.

Up, Down or Nowhere?

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm improving or getting worse, as a person.

The good..

I've just recovered from a dark time..

My gosh, the feeling of utter disappointment and having my morale hitting rock bottom that day.

But I've managed to collect myself and with some words of encouragement, I've emerged with renewed and strengthened motivation and drive.

But will it falter so easily this time like it did?

Hmmmmm.... I guess that's about it.

The bad seems to go in piles and piles...

I have to do something about my discipline.

My lack of willpower.

My selfishness.

And most of all my fading humility.

...

Maybe I'm going down after all.

Ya Allah, most Almighty and most Merciful....

Please forgive my sins...

Please guide my actions...

Please give me the strength to better myself...

For me, for them and for her.

I love them all so much.

I want to stop disappointing them.

Amin.

Insufficient.

Tears of regret are not enough, buddy.