Dear Diary

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♥MWUAH♥

Bubbly
All smiles and laughter

Farhana
twenTEEN
Student

♥♥♥ ♥♥♥

I DREAM:

I want a house by the BEACH
100% Health
Be with my FAMILIA for eternity & beyond
I wana WALK-IN CLOSET
I want a PIANO
Let me ride a HORSE
I wana Swim with the DOLPHINS
Oh i wana LEARN to SWIM
Let me Take the PLANE
& Travel around the WORLD

♥♥♥ ♥♥♥

I WANT:

Lets buy me another ECLAT D'ARPEGE Lanvin perfume
Lets buy me a fresh supply of fruits and veggies everyday(:
Lets buy me a mini lappy
Lets buy me a whole new wadrobe
Lets buy me pretty pretty dresses and heels
Lets buy me a Chanel handbag
Lets buy me a big Fendi bag to lump all my junks in

♥♥♥ ♥♥♥

YOURS TRULY

♥♥♥

Saturday, October 31, 2009@11:12 PM

note of apology

I'd finally came to my senses,

after having alot of serious discussions - with myself.

I had not been myself lately.

More petty, irritable and spiteful with my words.

Alhamdulillah, God always has His own ways to make me realize on my own what i did wrong and quickly take actions to redeem myself.

I apologize firstly to my dear special one for being such a pain in the bumbum, i shouldnt use my feminine cycle as an excuse to be really irritating. And thank you for being truly patient with me.And of course, you know who you are.

To those innocent (or not so innocent) bystanders whom i chose to poke at and make an issue eventhough they did not do anything wrong towards me, i am really sorry too. Even if you people are not readers of my blog, by blogging, i feel like such a big burden removed from my shoulders.

Really from the bottom of my heart, i am sorry.

Sorry indeed is the hardest word. hmm

InsyaAllah,

I will be a much much better person from now onwards and i am really overwhelmed by God's ways to make me realize my wrongdoings. Alhamdulillah.

I want to be the goodgirl that i was, back then.

Amin :)

Ok back to mugging.

(i dont think i even started mugging yet, whats wrong with me again?)
Bleh, pardon my random thoughts and bad sentence structure, grammar or even choice of word (if there is).
English modules are definitely messing up my default english mode and degrading them.
Goodnight loves!

She Wrote In Her Diary @11:12 PM

Wednesday, October 28, 2009@7:45 PM

Life is a fairytale, indeed.

Life really is a fairytale, indeed. Full of ups and downs but you know that a happy ending awaits you at the end of the chapter. (hopefully, insyaAllah)

I am a really contented 20 year old girl. Truly contented.

...and i cant believe it took me so long to actually realize and convince myself that everything was worth the long wait, and I thank God for that. Alhamdulillah. I had been a really silly girl lately and for that i need some affectionate scolding please which includes a nice pat on my head (to literally knock some sense into me head). Thank you very much.

:)

p.s. nobody is perfect, including me. So who am i again to point fingers at others, punishing them for their imperfections? I am definitely not in that position. It is God's job afterall, Masya'Allah.

What am i turning into? Oh, right. A teacher.

She Wrote In Her Diary @7:45 PM

Sunday, October 25, 2009@11:19 AM

gravity

If only,

Gravity defines the weight of all problems

I would want to be weightless,

So this immature juvenile little child, also called gravity,

would stop tugging at the strap of my safety cord,

denying my free fall towards freedom.

Should gravity be blind

That blind being will pass by me like a stranger,

oblivious to my presence.

Then maybe life wouldn't be so hard to live in.

But if Gravity really is the definition to all problems,

true enough, i admit now,

i want things to remain as it is,

because it is this gravity that makes my everyday meaningful to live in.

She Wrote In Her Diary @11:19 AM

Saturday, October 24, 2009@11:54 PM

Been quite some time since id last updated,

uhuh, guess most would think that i'd quitted blogging for good, no?

-

The past few days, or weeks even, has been a mad rush.

Juggling between school work and life, in specific.

It's like the peak point of every aspect of your life is occuring concurrently.

I know you dont really get me. But oh well, its ok.

Lets talk about school, hmm, nevermind that. ok moving on.
haha i think my brain is working randomly again.

Alhamdulillah, i am recuperating.

Thank you to my dear ones and especially those who helped me pull through this ordeal, really. Thank you so much.

and you know what?
Someone turned 22 on the 22nd last thursday. heheh

Who else kan, the one who had this miraculous amount of patience embedded deep in him to be able to withstand my ridiculous pms nonsense. :)

If i were a guy, i would readily take a hammer and literally knock ME in the head several times.
Happy 22nd birthday Mohd Sufyan!
My wishes and what nots are in the card. hehe

-

-

Moral of the story, everytime i forsee my feminine cycle approaching, i should avoid making conversations with loved ones at all cost.

This is for my own safety, and theirs too.

haha

:)

-

Ok, exams are really around the corner,

if you don't see any updates soon enough, that means i am on a another hiatus.

Till exams are over.

Mwa loves.

Good night
Ta!

:)

She Wrote In Her Diary @11:54 PM

Friday, October 16, 2009@10:03 PM

another demanding episode.

I dont want anymore re-runs.

She Wrote In Her Diary @10:03 PM

Sunday, October 11, 2009@11:03 PM

-

Oh the horror!

Must I accept?

:\

She Wrote In Her Diary @11:03 PM

@1:47 PM

me muttons :)

Ayye

all the hooooO-Haa about the Annual Muttons Outing planned by our dearest gino has made me realize that.......

I miss those people up there!

*Point to picture above*

(p/s: just ignore gino n mevin. They got abit high before the actual performance.LOL)

and..and..

... i cant wait to meet up with the muttons again!

chewahhh.

I miss muttons.

see you people next week!
InsyaAllah

(:

with the man who steered us towards the nostalgic victory (:

____________________________________________________________________

I am really sleepy. Time for an afternoon nap.

:P

She Wrote In Her Diary @1:47 PM

Saturday, October 10, 2009@9:59 PM

dreamt a dream.

I fell asleep just now only to find myself dreaming about a kitten and a little chick rolling down a hill.

and throughout the dream, they were just....rolling... downhill in the most adorable manner.

I want to have this dream again tonight, please?

(:

She Wrote In Her Diary @9:59 PM

@12:59 PM

i think im still in a daze.
i should start waking up from this weird dream, slip back to reality;
and be that determined person i used to be. Where is she again?
-
Exams around the corner.
I lost my drive to mug.
I need to do something about it, really.
Lets start by, rolling out of bed first.
That'll be a nice jumpstart. hmm

She Wrote In Her Diary @12:59 PM

Thursday, October 08, 2009@7:40 PM

Talking things out,

or rather (you talk things out and i listen and mumble) just made me feel really silly.

Yes, i am being silly.

It was a sudden explosion of unnecessary anger, now i dont even know why i was angry in the first place.

sigh

And mamalove mentioned this alot of times before: Always go for someone whom you could talk things out with if things between the two of you go wrong.

Sit, and discuss.

Alhamdulillah, i think God gave me the right man in my hands.

And if i was mumbling it just now, i'll say it now babywalrus,

im sorry for being really silly. Ok im chuckling at the thought it now.

:)

______________________________________________________________

So let's change the subject shall we?

Instead of too much insecurities is hazardous,

I'll change it to something of more relevance to me.

Too much radiation is hazardous no? Maybe i should stop being paranoid now or else my anxiety will come knocking at my already broken door.

If this is just another case of my silly anxiety attack again, then i am just introducing unnecessary radiation to my body. This is serious. I'll have to think things through.

...and that's really really irritating.

She Wrote In Her Diary @7:40 PM

@5:50 PM

insecurities are normal, i say.
But too much of it is hazardous.
-
Then again maybe i had been wasting my time all these while.
Forget about it.
Im damn tired, not to mention totally fed up and easily irritable.
and splendid,
im super sick too.
-
Im seriously tired of feeling all the unnecessary insecurities and i think its about time i give my poor self a break.
I know something's not right.
Looking at everything that'd happen and now a very obvious move to prove everything, i call this: baby step.
hoping from one guy to another within your circle of friends, even a blind person can tell this is a bloody common strategy. whatever.
If you dont realize this, then i say, you're blind.
right now,
im going to sleep and im only waking up once i feel like it.
you boys can go back to your past if that's really what you want.

I really dont need all these. Especially not now.
thank you very much.

She Wrote In Her Diary @5:50 PM

Friday, October 02, 2009@2:14 AM

mesmerized

hehe

sneaky sneaky.

-

I accomplished something tonight.

Who says you cant get mesmerized this way?

((:

-

Damn i shouldnt have completed it so early, now i need to wait for the right time to hand it over.

which is so near yet so far.

Gah.

Maybe i should hide it so i'll forget about it till the day comes for me to hand it over.

I am sleepy indeed but this seemingly long wait is working up my anxiety. In a good way :P
-

ahh, a job well done by yours truly.

Mwa,

kissing you all goodnight!

She Wrote In Her Diary @2:14 AM

Thursday, October 01, 2009@11:39 PM

empty frames.

This one last song, and I'll scrap whatever feeling that's left within.

So,

Hello friend.

Neyo- Empty Frames

I can feel the raindrops
slowly falling
and they calling for
they keep calling for
my knight in shining armour
come and save me
cause im drowning in pain

ive been hurt
by his mistakes
so come and take me away
i put him first
i thought he'd stay
but he couldn't weather the storm
so he left me the rain

over time, pictures fade
all thats left are these empty frames
sleepless nights, and stormy days
i've got proof that people change
and all thats left are these empty frames
all thats left are these empty...

can you hear these teardrops
in my pillow?
they keep falling cause
i kept falling for your dozen thorny roses
now im bleeding
and im lonely again

now im hurt
it's my mistake
i should have known right away
i put him first
i thought he'd stay
but he couldn't weather the storm
so he left me the rain

over time, pictures fade
all thats left are these empty frames
sleepless nights, and stormy days
i've got proof that people change
long after the smiles all fade away
all this endless pain
all this empty space

sleepless nights, and stormy days
i've got proof that people change
over time, pictures fade
and all thats left are these empty frames

over time, pictures fade
all thats left are these empty frames
sleepless nights, and stormy days
all thats left are these empty...

over time, pictures fade
and all thats left are these empty frames
sleepless nights, and stormy days
i've got proof that people change

all thats left are these empty frames
____________________________________________________________

-

I've been questioning myself alot lately, "What have i been doing?"
To have a new beginning, there's got to be an ending.
I believe this is the best for all of us.
Maybe you wont see it now, but you'll understand it one day.

She Wrote In Her Diary @11:39 PM

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