When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darling,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm
Content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

Words of the *~PaRaNoId QuEEn~*
:)

well somebody can just throw me a chocobo for being such a toot for not updating often.
i admit, there are many times i wanna say things but i just don't know how to say.

hmm... what happened since aug 18 huh?

I went for HPAIR Conference, and truly truly enjoyed myself.
i must be like, the most boring-est person in the whole world,
to actually like conferences like this.
but i made lots of friends, and knew lots of japanese people.
wahahahaha XD
happy happy.

but i went to a club for the first time during the conference.
yep, the committee booked butter factory for us to play at.
and like what my facebook status says,
clubbing is boring.
really don't know how people can go there week after week
to get themselves groped and hit on.
weird.

instead of dancing and drinking, i ended up talking to the butter fact workers
(see? what did i say about boring?)
who was telling me about nights when no one in the club is sober.
yikes, i wouldn't want to be there >.<

after that, dance practices...
and the grand welcome :)
it was alright, i did make a few mistakes,
but it was a good experience to dance in such a large stage ^^
and hopefully we see new blood in the club! *eyes shine*

and then... school reopens! (finally!)

***

The final evaluation of my to-do list in the hols:

1) read at least 10 books
After being highly successful by reading percy jackson at one shot,
i kinda slackened and thus i've only read seven and a half books.
I'm halfway through "Abhorsen".
Boo.
But I made reading progress, definitely.

2) sell some of my books
bah, didn't happen.

3) meet up with guild members
didn't happen either. too many things happened to my guild within the few months

4) meet up with amanda and siti
yes i met up with them a few times before amanda left for canada. :)

5) watch at least 2 anime titles!
didn't happen (WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING IN MY HOLS?)

6) clean my room
happened again and again and again and...

7) sign up for one bible study
didn't happen too, thanks to practicum.

8) play Final Fantasy X and Final Fantasy X-2
i'm at the last stage of ffx and just started on ffx-2.
i always thought that my fave is ff7 because of the maturity and depth of the story.
but the truth is, i really REALLY love ffx.
more more so than 7 and 8.
that's the beauty of final fantasy.
each game is so different such that different people have their own favourites,
(most people like ff7 and ff8)
yet similar such that everyone can relate to each other. :)

argh. truth is, i'm a final fantasy fangirl. there's no more hiding it.

9) go for chalet

been there, done that.
can't wait for the next chalet :)

10) organise all my music files in my computer
11) organise all my pictures in my computer
12) swim once a week (someone should slap me if i don't :X)

OPPS.

***

So much for a frutiful holiday huh?

during the holidays, perhaps one of the biggest revelations i had
was that... i wasn't THAT into dance as i thought.
once again, maybe not news to some of you,
but i only realised recently that i just like dance a lot,
but it's not my passion, and i don't pursue it like how jasmine, herman and peggy does.
rather, even if it is a big interest of mine,
it falls short in front of my other true desires.

over the months i started reading fanfiction again
(I LOVE RIKKU X GIPPAL fics but anyway...)
out of nostalgia (and ego-boost) i decided to read the reviews that other readers gave while reading my own stories.

and then it suddenly dawned upon me that...
those people were genuinely sincere in their praises.
i mean, some were like 'oh my gosh, you rock!' or 'that was so cool!'
rather... surface-ish compliments.
but some...

there was this girl (a long time ago)
who was grounded by her parents from the Internet,
but still found a way to get online so that she could read my story.

comments like 'Thank you for all your hard work on this fanfic!'
people who actually thanked me...
(hey, writing is hard work, but writing with CONTEXT, that's harder XD)
while i feel proud of my achievement, i feel humbled too.
it makes me feel like 'wow, did i really deserve all these praises?'
and it also now, made me realise that i didn't do all these supportive people any justice cos... i never completed that story.
so now, i'm back onto the story, working harder than ever.
bringing these people the best part of me that i may not even know of.

of course it doesn't mean i'm not going back to dance.
i'll still dance. i still love dancing.
but this time, i'm going to commit myself to writing again.
and even if now, those people who used to support me are no longer there.
by my own conviction i'll complete the story.

and anyway, it's not only writing.
i still love to do things like manga, anime, video games, drawing etc etc.
argh. why couldn't i just like ONE thing?

hope it was a long entry for most :P

Words of the *~PaRaNoId QuEEn~*
give me the freedom, and i'll write you beautiful words.
hehe, that was my fanfic profile quote.

i went to timbre yesterday with some of my church friends yesterday.

at first say go hk cafe

then that matthew LA, say wanna go timbre watch david choi.

thank goodness birthday girl winnie is so understanding LA.

but half of me is glad that we're heading to timbre.

cos of the drinking! XDDDDDDDDDD

and i forgot how awesome their thin crust pizzas were.

david choi? well, he's a youtube singer, with many many subscribers =3

and so i heard him sing, for the first time.

ahhhh, so nice ^^

his voice is like john meyer.

and honestly? he doesn't look like someone who could sing =P

of course, what's timbre without drinking?

but i didn't drink much. :(

i've been playing this bartending game called

'NIMBLE STRONG: BARTENDER IN TRAINING'

and it's a game where you make cocktails for your customers.

uber cool =3

i soooo wanted to try some of the drinks mentioned in the game.

but in the end could only try daiquiri (rum, lime, shaken)

tis' good stuff =3

think it'll be my staple drink whenever im there =3

wanted to dry their brandy alexander, and ask if there's bee's knees or pink lady.

cocktails have such cute names :3

i would loveee to go back timbre again, if i have the money >.<

Words of the *~PaRaNoId QuEEn~*

just like what jasmine said in her blog,

i need to let go of some things too :(

my very first o school session =D

ryan is such a nice guy ^^

and well, i learnt much valuable stuff from him...

i wish i can say that.

it's just that in one hour, it's so hard to fit so much content in one hour. =P

stretching was obviously out of my league. XD

and the choreo...

steps are alright, but the pace of the song...

no way is THAT beginner class.

anyway, i had lots of fun nevertheless.

i think i may go back and play again.

Words of the *~PaRaNoId QuEEn~*

internalise dance step!!!

yes yes i know, i've been MIA at blogging YET again.

it's just that, it no longer interests me to write my own daily happenings =P

i mean, i don't even write my own diary anymore.

as some of you know, i kept some thoughts of the past 2 years into my old old old phone.

which explains the 1 minute sms loading due to the INCREDULOUS amount of smses stored.

but soon, I'll find time to transfer all that i've ever written down into my own diary.

then maybe... that's the end of diary writing for me.

tis' funny... ending a ten year old relationship just like that.

but i don't have time anymore.

it's funny... and a little sad.

i had an awesome being attached to the primary school i was posted in.

the children were a mouthful to handle,

but the teachers were supportive (much unlike what i saw last year XD)

turns out that one of my CTs (one of the nicest ones) was the CT who sat behind me last year,

when i was thinking to myself 'gee, people here sure aren't friendly'.

in fact, that CT remembers me sitting there looking so bored.

and apologised (in a casual manner) that they were generally too busy to bother those who don't bother them.

and i guess, eventually, that'll be what it's like for any school huh?

anyhow, i had loads and truckloads of fun there.

well, that's all i can say now.

don't know what else to say already.

hopefully i'll come back to update again =P

Words of the *~PaRaNoId QuEEn~*

i'm back again =3

haha, ive disappeared yet again.

just came back from chalet,

i really enjoyed myself there ^^

think needless to say all of us enjoyed monopoly deal :P

had my share of swimming,

had a short heart to heart talk with chris,

watched 'the poltergeist' and 'old dogs'...

and even though we had so much food that we gave away to the chalet next door,

i had heaps of fun.

arghh, so tired.

i don't foresee myself having enough rest. ever.

i'll tell you more about what's been happening since i came back from chalet

and aichio, and enxian's marvellous chocolates :)

WELCOME BACK ENXIAN!!!!!

Words of the *~PaRaNoId QuEEn~*

you won't hurt me no more. :)

June 23, 2010

Dear Delegate,

Congratulations on your acceptance to the 2010 Harvard Project for Asian and International Relations (HPAIR) Asia Conference! Specifically, we are pleased to offer you a position on the International Law in Asia: For True Justice Panel.

The pool of applicants that we received in this round was the strongest that HPAIR has witnessed in its history. It is our personal pleasure to congratulate you on the quality of your application as we look forward to welcoming you to Singapore in August.


OH MY GOSH, i can't believe i'm accepted.
is it cos there aren't enough Singaporean participants?

did my school call over to force them to accept me?

ridiculous reasonings i know!

but it's just that i didn't think my answer was good enough =\

nevertheless, thank you :))

like what i said earlier, if i'm accepted, ptl.

so praise the Lord, regardless the true reason why i'm accepted.

Words of the *~PaRaNoId QuEEn~*

woots, onward to foreign delegates and long seminars XDD