Dear Diary

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♥MWUAH♥

Bubbly
All smiles and laughter

Farhana
twenTEEN
Student

♥♥♥ ♥♥♥

I DREAM:

I want a house by the BEACH
100% Health
Be with my FAMILIA for eternity & beyond
I wana WALK-IN CLOSET
I want a PIANO
Let me ride a HORSE
I wana Swim with the DOLPHINS
Oh i wana LEARN to SWIM
Let me Take the PLANE
& Travel around the WORLD

♥♥♥ ♥♥♥

I WANT:

Lets buy me another ECLAT D'ARPEGE Lanvin perfume
Lets buy me a fresh supply of fruits and veggies everyday(:
Lets buy me a mini lappy
Lets buy me a whole new wadrobe
Lets buy me pretty pretty dresses and heels
Lets buy me a Chanel handbag
Lets buy me a big Fendi bag to lump all my junks in

♥♥♥ ♥♥♥

YOURS TRULY

♥♥♥

Sunday, June 28, 2009@2:06 AM

another update

Updates: 454 cases.
-
in which 89 cases are new.
(last checked 28 june, 2.11 am)
but on the positive side, those who were infected by the H1N1 are recovering.
____________________________________________________________
-
im not exactly in the best state of mind.
-
1. Im feeling all sappy, only bestie knew why because im currently skyping with her over some seriously emotional issues which brought back lots of memories :(
-
2. I thought i was ok, but something got me and im worked up all over again.
-
3. my right knee is cracking, and its getting worse. I thought the knee guard was supposed to help but my knee just felt more loose as the minutes and hours passed by
If this knee still doesnt feel right after monday, i should seek medical attention asap :(
-
4. The increasing number of people getting infected by H1N1 is so intimidating, im lost in my own chaotic epidemic world.
-
5. This excessive paranoia of the H1N1 spread is provoking my Anxiety disorder to attack. tsk
Im aware of this dammit but i just cant help but worry myself sick.
shit
-
-
i should go to sleep so i can be fresh and energized for tmr.
Dental appointment with Dr. Daniel in the morning
and meeting Yan for the Da Vinci exhibit in the afternoon.
-
-
goodnight loves
xoxo

She Wrote In Her Diary @2:06 AM

Friday, June 26, 2009@8:26 PM

i need a placebo

ok updates!!
let's make the side notes short and sweet!
First up would be the recent ASEAN opening and closing ceremony on the 17th and 23rd june respectively.
Held at NTU/ADM.

the opening item, with Hanis and Yours Truly of course, we came up with Zapin contempt with fusion of Hip Hop elements. Something new for you people to try out if you find tradisional malay dance too boring
((:

to those who travelled all the way from the north south east west to catch our performance at 9am.
Thank you for all the support loves.

Not forgetting the closing ceremony, a modern contempt dance choreo-ed by Cikgu Azmi. It sent chills and shivers down my spine and i believed to the rest of the audiences too.
Excellento Beztaris!
:P

All in all, our performances was a great satisfaction. The tedious dance practices paid off well.
Dance sessions with these lovelies is definitely something to look forward to, all the time ((:

___________________________________________________________

Not forgetting one of my family's memorable event,
Biggie Bro's engagement day!
To all who came, thank you thank you.

The familiar (:
my dear girls Khai and Dune (without Aishah and Naz) and my dearest Rauf (without Gino).

The 4 most important people i cant live without.
=)

Also had an impromptu visit to Malaysia to window shop with the Familia and meet up with some of the cuzzins aunts n uncles who just returned from their Malacca hols without me since big bro could not get an off day. haha sheesh.
Ate at the seafood Kelong till late night.

=)
__________________________________________________________

Muzzy's birthday@ Swensens
with 2 other beloved Makneneks(:
gosh i miss these girls alot.
and somehow, i miss those Makneneks and Pakdatuks days in Jc.

Nilah Naz, she bought back all those bittersweet memories. hurhur.
:P

Met up with Bestie afterwards and also Yong Jun to catch Land of the Lost.
As you can see, there's no picture of him since he refused to be included in any pics with us.
:(
So me and bestie ended up taking pics of ourselves, nothing unusual. hehe

******
Next would be the Supreme court camwhoring session.
With Khai, Ais and Syarfa (:
I wouldnt call it a photoshoot since we didn't have a proper photoshoot setting. hahaha
so camwhoring it shall be! =D
The weather was super duper hot, i felt so faint afterwards i decided to go home and not join the girls to the Airport.
Aside from being paranoid about getting infected by H1N1 at the airport that is. :/

hehehe.
and i miss Syarfa eyy. so much!
Too bad i couldnt join them girls for Karaoke yesterday since i HAD to go Geylang to look for kain for the Hari Raya costumes.

****

and I went Museum hopping with Sufyan.
The National and the Singapore Arts Museum.
see? i am an artsy fartsy person deep deep down inside afterall.
=P

But standing beside sufyan, the Artist in the making, i just felt like an ordinary biology student who feeling2 artsy fartsy only.
Sad.

Our almost 2 months long planned museum trip. We finally got our long awaited plans into reality.

my masterpiece photoshot.
I like this.

But instead, i bet he's fav photo of me is this
*points below*
kan? kan?
hoho

as quoted by this great modern philosopher -> "Homeless lady in an oversized Hobo jacket"
thanks ehhhhh
(:

*****

Not forgetting Khai's birthday celebration.
we went to Marina Barrage.
Gino joined soon after where we had dinner at Lot 1.
Met up with dune at the station. Naz wasnt there so the familia wasnt complete :(
((:
*****
_________________________________________________________

Short and sweet right right?
ok, next up will be updates on Ais and Rauf's birthday celebration.
Im still waiting for bestie to upload the pics.

My right knee still feels funny.
:(
so annoying.
__________________________________________________________

I need a placebo.

She Wrote In Her Diary @8:26 PM

@2:39 PM

mj

Amidst the almost epidemic situation of H1N1,
the world just suffered a great loss of an iconic legendary popstar Michael Jackson.
(1958-2009)

His music will still be played in the generations to come in the different corners of the world.
Im very sure.
GodBless.

_____________________________________________________

Have you ever cracked your knees before?

I dont know if there's such things but i swear i just did!
it hurts, really bad. and for a moment i thought my kneecap was dislocated.
There's this loud bony "CRACK" sound followed by a visible twist in the knee cap.

God knows how it happened but i was sitted in a very awkward position, as usual.

Now my right knee feels funny :(
hahaha
talk about being prone to home accidents.

UPDATES: 315 cases of H1N1

Please avoid going to crowded places, (i.e nightspots etc etc)
There's so much physical contact going around and evidently, much of the local cases were spread in Butter factory itself.
You never know if the person dancing next to you have a flu bug dancing in him/her. TSK
but no doubt, it could happen anywhere.
So if you are feeling sick my dears, for goodness sake, please stick your pretty ass at home or even if you feel the need to go out, practice good personal hygiene.
im starting to sound like a naggy 40 year old woman.

anyway, the first batch of vaccinations were already released, so hopefully the spread of the flu could be reduced.
(:
_____________________________________________________

im currently engrossed with Nora Robert's books.
im off to read her books now.
and i was forced into a late night crisis (last night) and had to invent some vital things.
and hey, it worked wonders!
hehe
ok nothing makes sense,
lol. but yea im sure some of you understood what i meant.

I've been a really good girl, i deserve to reward myself to a nice shopping spree in which im totally deprived of this month.

Mwuah mwuah.

She Wrote In Her Diary @2:39 PM

Tuesday, June 23, 2009@2:15 PM

168 cases!

UPDATE: 194!
-
194 cases of H1N1!!
-
people please practice good hygiene!
-
Was cursing this stupid nyonya who deliberately sneezed in my face a few days ago.
-
YAR i was tempted to take out the dettol sanitizer in my bag and squirt it all over her face!
TSK.
-
ahh the increasing number of cases daily is making me super paranoid.
maybe im super paranoid because mi mama kept telling me to avoid crowded places, dont touch anything, bring a hanky everywhere i go and all the precautions the MOH could come out with.
and best. To stay home instead of going out. bleargh
-
which is good i know, but it just makes me jumpy everytime anyone sneezes in the shopping centre or sniff their mucus back into their nose or do anything to indicate they are having flu.
-__-
-
to those guilty of doing that, please, please cover your nose with a hanky or tissue or towel. Im not asking you to put on a mask
(though that'll be good =D)
bt at the very least, think of the people around you especially those who have low immune system - like me.
hehehe
-
was sneezing badly yesterday morning, because i had an impromptu wadrobe cleaning and lipat-ing baju session.
Its annoying to see so much clothes in there but knowing that im not going to wear most of them anymore, or choose not to wear them anymore.
2 wadrobes filled to the brim and i still complain that i have nothing to wear.
no wonder mi mama shakes her head everytime i come home with shopping bags in my hand.
-
I need to revamp my wadrobe!
meaning, i need to shop.
wahkahkah
*grin
-
there's way too much things to update on, i'll do that soon
-
the internet connection is pmsing the same time as i am and is behaving like such a biatch its starting to annoy me big time.

ASEAN youth mania closing ceremony
the lovely Beztaris will be performing later which means,
i should go take a nap first so i will be fresh and alive later on to give my full support at adm.
(:
-
before i end this entry,
remember.
CAUTION:
bring a hanky everywhere u go!
and pls take care. (whatever that means)
-
and and...if u dare to impersonate that nyonya and sneeze in my face, u'll find dettol all over your face before u know it!
-
mwuah dears
i shall take my short sweet nap
(:
-
-

She Wrote In Her Diary @2:15 PM

Monday, June 22, 2009@11:59 AM

happy birthday aishah!!!

to my childhood friend
my bestfriend
my girlfriend
my bosom buddy
and the friend that has been with me through the many ups and downs of life
-
eversince primary 2
13 years of friendship
still counting
-
HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY SITI AISHAH!!
-
-
let our dreams of becoming the fashionable grannies with many cucu-cucu come true ok!
(main chess under the void deck. hehe)
=)
-
XOXO
__________________________________________________________
-
Im in desperate need of shopping therapy.
nvm,
we're hitting town town town later to look for the june babies's birthday gifts.
but no harm shopping at the same time if there's good deals.
i hope.
its called hitting a flock of birds with one BIG stone!
*wink
-
ciao mi amigas!

She Wrote In Her Diary @11:59 AM

Sunday, June 21, 2009@12:25 AM

happy birthday

im actually quite lazy to update but since today is the birthday of this boy,
i HAD to update. - -
HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY TO ABDUR RAUF! -

ok dah.
hahahaha -
=)
-
-
as usual, im skyping with the usual girls.
khai mia-ed for awhile to go ntucXtra in the middle of the night.
dune finally found a way of using the webcam to communicate with us.
aishah is trying to upload the hundreds of their ubin pics.
-
-

-the last pic is actually dune's teeth.
-
LOL
dune's excited about this entry. ahahahahaha

She Wrote In Her Diary @12:25 AM

Saturday, June 13, 2009@11:21 PM

vid conference

see?
this is just so cool.
my brilliant discovery of mebeam.
and aishah's einstein brains of figuring out how to actually use it.
hehe our brains are usefull afterall.
((:

She Wrote In Her Diary @11:21 PM

@10:47 AM

el nino

Bestie psycho-ed me into NOT buying Tiff & co. charmed bracelet.
-
the heart wrenching pain i felt when i walked out of the store.
yes, literally.
i felt it.
-_-
ok so drama.
*roll eyes.
but i thought i heard my atm card squealing with joy. :P
-
Mummy said i should just buy a proper gold bracelet.
-
i guess she'd rather see me spend money on jewellery than clothes, shoes bags and food.
i love gold, but i dont like REAL gold.
white gold is nice.
pure gold makes me (or anyone) look like makcik.
maybe its just me. i dont know.
-
and i still havent gotten my gold bamboo earrings.
anyone who knows where i can get them (not online please), pls tell me can?
(:
-
ahhhh. i have yet to shop.
-
im falling into shopaholic depression.
-
driving was fun just now.
i got the teddy bear instructor. He made me laugh like mad.
I dont know why my sentence structure sounds like what a primary school kid would type out.
haha but i just feel like writing this way today.
im pmsing right now, if you notice.
im having this bad migraine.
stupid pms.
and i feel so grumpy.
-
ahh i hate hate the weather with passion.
-
bloody El Nino.
-
thanks to Tata Young for cursing the world.
-
bah.
im going to take a short nap.
im starting to ramble on random stuffs.

She Wrote In Her Diary @10:47 AM

Friday, June 12, 2009@1:21 AM

talkshow

On a lighter note!
3 entries in one day just showed how bored i was.
-
anyway...
-
impromptu skyping for the night.

Catch us Clique@Midnight talkshow.
LOL
-
Khai - Click
Aishah- Ring
Nana- Beep
Dune - our listener

and dune couldnt use the mic so she only listens to our conversation and didnt have a voice.
so for the night, dune became mute and "speaks" via chatting.
Still skyping...and their voices are still ringing in my ears, right now.
=P
--
-
-
updates:
( approx. 1 hour later)
ok dune just got her sister's mic, she's finally talking!! ahahaha.
dune's TRYING to sing.
im so bored that im typing this.
Ok girls, u girls are making me bored. LOL
*khai is laughing so hard i think she's crying now. and she's starting to sound scary. Like some witch. hahaha
-
-
ok we're weird.
we're skyping since khai just bought a new webcam so she could "see" us once she reaches Australia sooon ((:
-
Our new names( based on the Mat&Minah names at facebook app) :
-
Aishah- Baybe Habibah
Nana - Me'on Cinonek
Khai- Baybe payung Rihanna
Dune- Shashabiols.
-
-_-'' my name is the most old school.
-
ok dah, im sleepy.
-
Goodnight lovelies.

She Wrote In Her Diary @1:21 AM

Thursday, June 11, 2009@10:34 PM

just ignore this if you hate reading depressing entries.

i always put on a facade.
A facade of an impeccable body who seems fine and alright.
-

What you see me as, are illusions.
I swear.

--
and now i come to realize that
im Claustrophobic.
Both physically and mentally.
-
stucked in this feeble body
encumbered by past tragedies affecting one's life.
Mine own.
Im suffocating.
-
Tired.
i cant explain how tired i am.
Tired of consoling myself.

yet i struggle.
Struggling to get out of nothing.
Struggling to achieve something.
I dont know.
i feel so vulnerable.

brittle.

no doubt;
Emaciated.

Inhale deeply,
its scary to see all my imperfections, show.
-
i am the biggest lie to myself,
and i never ever asked to be a part of those one in a million.
that one unlucky one.
maybe there's a blessing somewhere.
but i dont know.

-
i dont mean to whine. I dont mean to complain.
im sorry if it appears to be as such.
but everytime,
and i mean every single damn time this discomfort creeps in,
or whatever shit that can be associated to this thing called pain,
my mind starts to wander around aimlessly.
i get scared.

and i succumb to the paranoia which surrounds.
-
-and nothing seems to palliate this stupid stupid pain.
not even those stupid stupid doctors.
or maybe they just simply cannot be bothered with me.
-

---i hate having this feeling.
this horrible horrible uncertain feeling.
-
stupid girl.
20 years and i am still unable to control my mind.
-
its true.
Its always mind over body,
mind over soul.

but this pain is real.
helpless;
i feel.
-
pieces of me, my strength, my health.
distorted. deteriorated.
i need a linchpin.
to piece everything back together.

--
Normality.
Once a reality.
Now's a myth.

let me be 15 again. and forever.

She Wrote In Her Diary @10:34 PM

@2:50 PM

Tiff and Co.

Great Singapore Sale.
but surprisingly, i have not been shopping at all.
AT ALL.
-
To reward myself for being such a good girl,
i will get this pretty thing below.
((:
-
and i'll promise not to shop for a week!
=)

She Wrote In Her Diary @2:50 PM

Monday, June 08, 2009@3:10 PM

-
-
-
Super lethargic.
I shall go faint now.
this diminutive self needs to replenish.
-
-
-

She Wrote In Her Diary @3:10 PM

Wednesday, June 03, 2009@12:45 AM

updates! =)

OK as promised, (not that you cared, haha).
Updates!
- -
About an hour ago, i was found sprawled on my bed, face down.
Yes apparently i was being attacked by The Lazy Bug.
ok im not making sense.
(prepare for a crappy entry ahead. I'll be spitting out random stuffs i guess)

- Anyway, started off the day with tarian practice in school.
Ended slightly after noon and rushed off to meet mom and Cik Kam straight to order the engagement cake.
No, im not the one getting engaged.
( i wish. ok,
maybe not.)
-
and the weather is so hot can?
Like seriously, if i was an egg, i would have been boiled hard right there and then.
-
Anyway, I managed to squeeze in 2 hours nap before i went off for driving lesson.
LEGALLY ok.
-
I was complaining about the hot weather to my super diii duper nice instructor.
oh i told him about my illegal driving and he said its good that i actually have experiences beforehand.
hahaha
-
lucky he didnt blacklist my name or anything
and yes, he's super nice and catered to all my whiny needs.
-
eg. i complained that the weather was super hot.
so every 10 mins, he would ask if i could feel the aircon and adjust them.
nice or what?
i just hope my next prac would not be some grumpy old uncle.
-
by the time i took the bus for home, i was zonked out.
and at one moment while i was still asleep, i hit my head against the bus window
and you know what?
i woke up to find this little girl staring at me wide-eyed, like she just saw Shrek The Third coming to life.
sheeesh
(ok lah, i was pretty embarassed but i fell asleep again soon after. hahaha)
-
before i sidetracked too much, let me get back to the reason why im writing this entry, why?
oh yes, for updates.
Actually i dont really have much to update on.
As usual im lazy to describe everything so just let the pictures do the talking okie...

Momentum@ RP (TRCC)
16 dance groups from different schools/ dance organizations
most of which had put up real good performances.
(I think they purposely wanted to freeze the audiences. It was super cold in there! haha)
-
We came to support P. Ramlee. aka M. Hanis

and of course thanks to Yan for the company =)

Next we had Bonding session aka JOM GATHER2 @Pasir Ris Park.
and again the weather was super hot my mom said i looked hitam belegam when i got home. -__-'' sadded.
-
-
the long long bus ride with darling hida(:
we had this biscuit challenge, but no, i dont think i would wan to embarass myself further by uploading the video.
hahaha
i had enough embarassament for the week. or maybe months!
-
There's a story behind this picture btw
*point below
.....and presenting you the Whites! So pure ((:

=))

and of course, the most important update i wish to highlight on will be Super Irritating Abang's engagement preparations

of course i was lazy, as usual.
yesterday Cik Kam, cuzzie wuzzie and Hilman came over to help out with some of the gubahans.

and while Mama and Cik Kam were hard at work, designing the
gubahan......

Cuzzie wuzzie + my camera + my bedroom wall = camwhoring session

hahahaha

and yes thanks to Ayah's idea of using 3M's reflectors on my wall, it had eversince became a spot for tourist (aka visitors') attraction.

Hilman Hakim! MY gungho boy!

and the wall signed by yours truly ((:
-
-
But we did help out ok. I felt the need to contribute since its my one and only abang's engagement (though he's been rather irritating these days)

-
and a sneak peek to 2 of the gubahans we created!
=))
-

and just to end up this long long grandmother entry,
...since it's school holidays now,
i wake up almost everyday to see this!

*point to picture below*
-
-
Oh and Giant is having some chicken sale and as usual, Ayah asked me to accompany him buy more chickens to stock up the fridge.
The previous Giant supermarket sale, he bought 30 chickens.
-
I dont know how many he's expecting me to buy tomorrow.
I'll tell u the next time i update ok.
-
-
I shall go read myself some bedtime stories now and enlighten myself.
another long day tomorrow.
and i need to seriously clean up my room.
I think i can open a flea market right from the comfort of my own room
hehehe

Ok if i dont stop now, i think i'll just continue rambling on and on.. so yes im stopping now.
i know my sentence structures are going haywire, i feel really drowsy now though its only 1am. So dont blame me for writing nonsense here, if i had. :P
An achievement. 1 am and im already so sleepy and drowsy.
(didnt i just mention that? darn im starting to repeat myself)
Lol
((:
-
-
Goodnight loves,
hugs.

She Wrote In Her Diary @12:45 AM

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