Dear Diary

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♥MWUAH♥

Bubbly
All smiles and laughter

Farhana
twenTEEN
Student

♥♥♥ ♥♥♥

I DREAM:

I want a house by the BEACH
100% Health
Be with my FAMILIA for eternity & beyond
I wana WALK-IN CLOSET
I want a PIANO
Let me ride a HORSE
I wana Swim with the DOLPHINS
Oh i wana LEARN to SWIM
Let me Take the PLANE
& Travel around the WORLD

♥♥♥ ♥♥♥

I WANT:

Lets buy me another ECLAT D'ARPEGE Lanvin perfume
Lets buy me a fresh supply of fruits and veggies everyday(:
Lets buy me a mini lappy
Lets buy me a whole new wadrobe
Lets buy me pretty pretty dresses and heels
Lets buy me a Chanel handbag
Lets buy me a big Fendi bag to lump all my junks in

♥♥♥ ♥♥♥

YOURS TRULY

♥♥♥

Wednesday, December 31, 2008@11:59 PM

happy new year

as i was busy immersing myself into the last few pages of 2008, i paused for a moment- to breathe.

and reflect back into the chapter.

Our life is made up of time.

Was every secs, mins, hours, days, weeks and months been spent the best way possible? or could i have spent them on something more worth spending for?

Having written a prologue of the 365 pages of my-life chapter before the start of every year, i know that there are bound to be differences to the actual storyline as the pages go by, no matter how little these differences are.

Will i feel the contentment at the end of every chapter as i go about investing the energy to pen down every single line?

Every failure opens up another path towards success. That I know.

Fear. The reason behind every action in every single being.

Are these what age brings?

My life is a personification of a book with chapters of 365 pages each

and every year is resembled by a chapter.

With the addition of a year, we lose more spaces of whatever pages that remain, for us to pen down our life story.

"Too Late" is never in the vocabulary of life.
With a new year that awaits, a new chapter is born and with that comes a new set of pages to start afresh. Mistakes can be corrected and hopes and dreams can be achieved with determination and perseverance. and of course sacrifices has to be made in moderation.

[health, health, health.
family, love which surrounds, success.]

That's all im asking for.
Goodbye 2008,
Say Hello to 2009!

A Happy New Year everyone! :)

Fade, fade, fade, fade..... ...gone. Now i can breathe.

She Wrote In Her Diary @11:59 PM

Tuesday, December 23, 2008@9:23 PM

Waffle crisps!

I Love Waffles!
-
hehehe
-
The tummy says it all ;))

-
Presenting you the mouth watering Nike Special Edition Waffle Jacket!
-
My love at first sight.
-
I shall stare at my jacket should i feel hungry next time! =)
-
******
and have a safe trip Rauf! Pls come back safely so that i cn get my souvenir. LolOLoL
-
-
Ive been having flu fr 2 days and 2 nights straight. Blowing my nose day and night had resulted in me having blocked nose and 2 blocked ears! Im partially deaf now! must be the pressure of blowing my nose non-stop. sighhh
-
abt 2 wks left to school reopening. Dammmmmn. Back to mugging. :/

She Wrote In Her Diary @9:23 PM

Monday, December 22, 2008@5:11 PM

my new pink baby!

Say hello to my beuuutiful sidekick!
-
and of course thanks so much to Khai for recommending me to my precious new pink baby!
-
I searchd the whole of Suntec City for my pink baby since its hard to find it elsewhere.

had a long day out with cuzzie wuzzie Mai ysterday and we went to watch TWILIGHT!

-

of course the movie is nothing compared to the twilight saga book series cos they kindaf cut off alot of scenes. But its ok, i loved Edward Cullen nonetheless. hehe-

The Animal kingdom + Fruit reunited for Dune's very belated Bdae celebration. We went town fr a quick lunch before heading to Vivo. Naz is missing tho so the familia was incomplete.

under the christmas tree,i wish... LOL( mcm real jer)

and we had fun standing in the middle of the walkway scribbling msges on d balloon.

oh, pls dont mention my centre parted hair. hahaha. Its the wind effect! :P

and i bought me-self a Chanel Glossimer! in simpler terms, lipgloss. The price is not much difference from Dior and the colour is much more nicer so why not give it a shot?
Dad: How come your lipgloss is so expensive? When i was in German (before he got married to my mom), mine was only $5.
Me: HUH? U wear lipgloss??? Chanel lipgloss??
Dad: something like that i think. Cos the weather was cold and our lips were chapping.
Me: ?? *puzzled*
Mom: Ayah, u didnt wear lipgloss! You wore a lip balm!
Me: -_-'' lmao

Anyway, why of course im back from my KL and Genting Highlands Getaway!

Its fun fun and ubber fun.
For KL, its the normal shopping heaven for hmmm non-genuine stuffs in the afternoon and karaoke-ing till the morning hours!

When the crazy cuzzie wuzzie are stuck in the same karaoke room...i bet the K-box manager would resort to shutting down the whole place! LOL

and shopping is always a heavenly activity =)

Lets not talk about our 'KL menjerit' incident where we faced difficulty crossing a road in a heavy storm at KL with heavy traffic and big puddles of water constantly being run over by the vehicles! : but it was an adventure, really. hehe
-

Genting Highlands is - cold as usual. The weather forecaster is wrong! they predicted the weather to be rainy throughout our stay at Genting Highlands but it didnt rain at all. Alhamdulillah. :)

and why of course, with our hotel right above the Indoor ThemePark and shopping mall, Outdoor Themeparks and the cold cold weather, what more can i ask for?
=

We took rides from relaxing to the thrilling ones. and i smuggled my video camera to record a video footage of us taking the roller coaster ride! I might upload it someday. But our faces were ridiculous lah pls. Dont laugh. hehe

We queued up for the same rollercoaster rides 4 times till the last 'train' at 1 am! and they decided to close the queue line so that no one would be able to get in line anymore. haha. But we're cool. We waited in line the next morning again! hahaha

The day we decided to head home, the weather turned very misty and foggy.

there are like over 600 pics taken. Everything is up in facebook. =)

-
Ok i just finished reading the 12 chapters of Midnight Sun online which had leaked out. and sadly, Stephanie Meyers had decided to put her writings on hold. Sheesh..

Reading everything again from Edward's point of view is so much more interesting. Go read it if you guys have the time oritee?

-
Loves.

She Wrote In Her Diary @5:11 PM

Sunday, December 21, 2008@12:41 AM

Tell me.

Silently Screaming
-
-
Someone put me in the right direction,
tell me where’s the nearest peace of mind
I’m going crazy.
-
Knight in shining armour in the distance,
he sees the evil threatening my life
Why won’t he save me?
-
All I want is somebody to give a damn
notice that I’m strugglin’ and lend a hand
they say everybody needs someone to understand
well dammit that includes me too
And all I want is someone to be there for me
somebody to genuinely kiss
But I’m just dreaming,
it’s like I’m silently screaming

(Even though I’m totally surrounded
i feel like i’m in here by myself)
-
How about you do it ’cause you love me
not ’cause you want something in return
Is that so crazy? Crazy.
-
In the middle of a sea im helpless,
but see I never learned how to swim
somebody save me.
somebody save me.
-
All I want is somebody to give a damn
notice that I’m strugglin’ and lend a hand
they say everybody needs someone to understand
well dammit that includes me too
And all I want is someone to be there for me
somebody to genuinely kiss
But I’m just dreaming,
it’s like I’m silently screaming

Somebody to catch me when I fall.
Somebody who helps me through it all
someone I can trust,
tell me if I’m asking too much.

All I want is somebody to give a damn
notice that I’m strugglin’ and lend a hand
they say everybody needs someone to understand
well dammit that includes me too
And all I want is someone to be there for me
someone I can genuinely kiss
But I’m just dreaming,
feels like I’m silently screaming

(Even though I’m totally surrounded
i feel like i’m in here by myself)
-
-
-
-
Never ever say nobody cared.
Cause i'd always did.
but did you ever give a damn?
everythin's so crazy now,
things getting out of hand.
*
I'd led you into moulding me to be what i am now.
shaped my life.
cos i never knew you'd be holding me back.
Slowly throwing me off my track.
mimed others and paralysed my life.
*
You said no one understand.
but I told you i do.
if i'd known things will end this way.
then im sorry,
cos I no longer do.
*
Im tired of pretense. and i know you are too.
You'd made this choice.
and now i've made mine.
There isnt any room for explanations.
Nothing matters anymore and now im through.
-
-
Time is lost ignorantly, you dont even have time to realise it, dont you?

She Wrote In Her Diary @12:41 AM

Saturday, December 13, 2008@10:00 PM

sayonara for awhile! ;)

Just a quick post before i'm being forced to go to sleep!
I'm off for our "KL and Genting Getaway!" in 5 hrs time!
-
-
3 hrs left to sleep.
1 hr to drag myself out of the bed, shower and get dressed.
1 hr to drag our luggage into the car and meet up with the rest of the cuzins and relatives.
and kiter convoy!
-
no...
"kiter enjoy!"
-
Dont miss me soo much okay?
Next update in a week's time! ;)
-
-
Loads of L.o.v.E,
sayonara for awhile!
♥♥♥ ♥♥♥

She Wrote In Her Diary @10:00 PM

Friday, December 12, 2008@1:02 AM

single ladies parody

I love Justin Timberlake!

Wanna know why?

Check him out dancing with Beyonce at Saturday Night Live (SNL) to her latest single, "Single Ladies"

he's the 'sexiest' guy (esp in this vid) with a great sense of humour.

LOL

Dont ask me why, just check him out in this vid! ;)

She Wrote In Her Diary @1:02 AM

Thursday, December 11, 2008@3:00 AM

=)

3 more days to Genting Highlands and KL Getaway!
ok i cant believe that im actually looking forward to it!
--
i wasnt exactly thrilled of going since the weather at genting had been forecasted to be the coldest throughout the year (not forgetting it might rain-_-'').
not that i hate cold places, i love them. Really. lol
-
But.
Fats checked= 0%
hehe
-
how about that?
-
which is why i resorted to buying a thick fur jacket.
*point to the picture up there*
LOLolOL
-
-
anyway, just a brief update of events.
My house was the collection point for Hari Raya Haji.
So yea, relaticves and cuzins swarmed at my house and it was kinda like a Potluck party.
hehe
everybody came with food.
-
On top of the tradisional hari raya dishes of Ayam masak merah, daging rendang, sambal goreng
-
1. Chicken rice with black pepper chicken
2. Bonesteak
3. Shark fin soup (ZOMG..yummy ;) )
4. Satay with gravy and lontong
5. Bubur kacang
6. Strawberry and Chocolate pudding.

my room =)

hehe

all the daddys got together to discuss routes to Genting.
strumming..

******
-
Anyway...
-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUNE ERICA, My GIRLFriend a.k.a b.e.b.e!
ur Twenteen!
-

so the birthday girl spent her birthday....with me! hehe
met up with Ate Nicose..who later became our INSPIRATION.
-
<3

accompanied Dune to do her hair at town...
met up wid Rauf and JB and we had dinner at Sakura.
apologies for the belated birthday celebration!
ur birthday celebration next week hunn' okie!
LOVEYA mucho (:
-
**********

Btw, the extended part of Jurong Point is officially open now.
they called it JP2.

Reminds me of a movie sequel though. hehe
-
oh they have Swensens, fig & Olive, New york2, Burger king (whee!) etc.

ok so JP has almost every fast food place u can ask for.
i so love this now...
yabah-dabah-dooO!
-

So went to explore the place wid Mom & lil sis Tasha.
bought lil sis a FOX jacket so she can wear it to at Genting.
and and i bought 2 pretty top dresses.
=)
-
-

So yea, its 3am now. I better hit the sack or i wont be able to wake up early tmr.

Ciao loves! <3

She Wrote In Her Diary @3:00 AM

Monday, December 08, 2008@12:13 AM

ponder...wonder

Pardon me while i rant...I know I need to get these out lest I start to choke. Its gona be a boring entry which requires a lot of thinking, so dont bother if you're sleepy ok? =)

Sometimes we dont bother to question ourselves why things are like this instead of that.
why we chose to do this instead of that.

we just....go with the flow

and this ends when someday, someone probes a question which then forces your brain to rise to a pause and start searching for an answer. The Answer.

It dawned upon me a few days ago when Mr.X (name unrevealed to protect his identity.hehehe) asked me why im still unattached. The first assumption he made was that im being too choosy and fussy.

and of course i couldnt come out with an answer right there and then since i'd never given this matter a good thought before. So the best thing on my mind was to say that there's more to it than being whatever he assumed my reason was.

I've walked in endless circles. And being human, made lots of mistakes.
I got tired of losing directions, and so now I'm here sitted to conceptualise the wrong steps i'd made.
i realised, with every race I sprint for the pursuit of others, I'd actually neglected the tracks of my own.
which results in me absconding myself from the harsh reality of being in a relationship.

I dont get it how someone could easily say the 3 sacred words within just weeks of getting to know you. Rushing blindly to meet the exigencies of love life. Is that what love is suppose to be?

As id said before, every thing i do, i have my reasons whether its a valid one or its just plain unacceptable. Waiting for The One is one thing, not wanting to break other's heart is another thing. and of course, the fear of not wanting to break our own heart too.

Sitting and watching the people around me with different situations. Being so in love for a moment and detached from love the next minute or vice versa.
Is love really a good thing? Or is it only kind to some and cruel to others?

And its bad enough when you realise that The One is someOne that can never be the One and you'll have to start again from square One.

I shall put all that on hold for now. There's so much more things to prioritise, and first on the list, will of course be my health. I have to (be forced to) suspend all my dance escapades and vent out my unused energy on mindless impulsive shopping.

Anyway, my moodswing has been getting out of hands lately and i'd been pissing so many people off. Not meant to be on purpose . Guess the health's the main culprit - again. (Yea i know, excuses) Dr.Shirley herself had said its natural for my mood to fluctuate due to the inevitable feeling of ubiquitous emotions, in simpler terms : Anxiety disorder. And it gets more depressing when u start pissing off loved ones without even realising it. Gosh, how depression can lead to oblivion and ignorance.

To people that i'd pissed off lately (family & friends), im sorry.
For once i agree with Elton John' s thoery of Apologies : Sorry seems to be the hardest word. (feeling2 philosophical. hehe)
I need to learn to put aside the mountain-full of ego thats readily embedded in my head.
Indeed, i bow to other's sincerity in making me a better person.

anyway,

2 days ago,
i got 3 bottles of my blood being sucked out by my family doc using syringes with the tiniest needles (due to my not-surprisingly fine veins) to be sent to labs for tests. results out soon :S
No im not nervous. No im not scared. IM TERRIFIED!

Its true. Too much pain results to immunity. I dont even know if the pain's really there or its just my imagination getting out of hand.

3 more days and the results are out. Only god knows exactly how im feeling now.
4 more days to DF exco meeting.
5 more days to the appointment day with the specialist. If things dont turn out good, God knows how my mood will be when we go to Genting and KL.
6 more days to the meetup with Fadhli and Gang
7more days to Genting and KL Getaway and release of sch Exam results.

Gosh i write the weirdest things when i cant go to sleep.

lastly, wishing all Muslims a....

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha! =)

She Wrote In Her Diary @12:13 AM

Sunday, December 07, 2008@2:21 AM

chicken and hotdogs

eating hotdogs with chicken (asam pedas) at 2am in d morning is a bad bad idea.
-
Now i feel like throwing up.
-
and i just realised im going to KL and Genting Highlands from on the 14th instead of the 15th.
-
which means...
-
1. I cant go out till late for the meet up with 'Fadhli and friends' (haha, like Barney and friends) the night before since momma insists everyone need to be asleep by 10pm so that we will be up fresh at 3am in the morn to leave for Genting at 4am :/
(dont really see the point of sleeping early since i'll be stuck in d car for at least 7 long long hours! i can sleep all i want isn't? sigh)
-
2. Cant celebrate Dune bdae wid d 'Familia' since we'd postponed d celebratn to 15dec. :
sorry hunn' :(
-
3.* (very important!) I cant get to see my exam results which will be out on 15th Dec!
:S
sigh sigh sigh.
-
-
ok, i still feel like throwing up.
-
-
-
id blown out my candle
and used up the last matchstick.
now what?

She Wrote In Her Diary @2:21 AM

Saturday, December 06, 2008@3:55 AM

narcissism

and soo....
-
ive changed my blogskin!
-
Despite the full-blown narcissism self that you can see *point up there*, hey give me some credit ok?
-
heh.
-
I spent many nights trying to figure out the code for this skin! ok, maybe not. =)
I shall update more tmr since its like a freaking 4am in the morn' now and i wonder why im still not asleep yet. this post is just a formality to welcome the birth of my self-love bloggieskin. haha! oriteeee
-
-
Nytes..
oh no, G Morning hunns'.

She Wrote In Her Diary @3:55 AM

Monday, December 01, 2008@9:15 PM

aura

guess i should stop being pessimistic about things.
i need to be more positive.
put aside all the negative aura.
-
hmm..thats more like it.
-
"Always look on the bright side of life...*whistle*"
ok i need someone to sing that to me.
-
-
Just now was heck of a fun day at cuzzie hse. I was the make-up artist and hairstylist for the graduating girls.
Rashal, mary-ana and MYsarah. hehe
-
ok girls, nothing's free in this world. I want Swensens. hehehe. joke! =)
hmm...based on their shrieks of joy, i guess i did a good job ..i think. wahahaa
-
-
-
msn-ing wid fad giler has been one effective way of de-stressing my very stressful life. I guess thats what childhood friends are for.
Despite his 'JEDI' gilerness that never fail to drive me nuts, never fail to force a grin (not a smile, haha)on my face.

-
-
Thats just a short update. I dont wana accumulate events and give a 'long long time ago' and 'once upon a time' entry again.
-
-
-
ok dears, i wana go watch more of Chris Pine's movie.
ADDICT.
=)
more updates soon.
cheerios.

She Wrote In Her Diary @9:15 PM

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