The year is 2011 and the world is, for the most part, quite civilized and runs along predictable patterns of social conscious and awareness. In other words, even though we humans do tend to engage in war and drama with a little too much eagerness at times, for the most part we act civilized and mind our manners. A majority of people can wake up in the morning, go about their daily activities, and lay their heads on their pillows at night without, for a moment, forgetting that they are at the top of the food chain. Superior in intellect and capable of reason and deduction when problems arise that requires thinking, deep or otherwise. For most of us, being faced with a problem, an inconvenience, a situation that needs a step back and a look at the bigger picture in order to work things out and set things straight again, is no more problematic than deciding which shoe to put on first in the morning. At least that is what I thought prior to events that took place yesterday.
Working in a convenience store allows me to watch people behaving at their best, and sometimes at their worst, as they go about their day trying to get from point A to point B with as little hassle as possible. The mere fact that it is a convenience store means that customers are intent on getting in and out again with as little delay as possible; anything that delays a customer with this goal in mind can result in flared tempers and curt words. Most of the time this is accomplished without anything major upsetting the dynamics of a convenience store clerk/customer relationship, but now and then something happens which appears to reduce a once civilized thinking people into little more than the cave dwelling Neanderthals we sprung from. I realized yesterday that no matter how far we have come in progress, how high our skyscrapers, how far our space shuttles travel, or how complex our brain surgery gets, when the electricity goes out so does our critical thinking skills apparently.
When the electricity goes off completely we are faced with the sudden and shocking reality of just how dependent we are on it. It is then we realize that nearly everything we do is accomplished by the flick of a switch, the swipe of a card; the automatic responses that should be automatic without us even having to think of them. Electric doors opening or traffic signals operating properly and keeping traffic running smoothly happen “magically” and require no thought or action on our part. We expect these things to do what they were designed to do in order to make our lives easier, smoother, and convenient; and for the most part they do and we go about our day with nary a hiccup; it is when those SNAFU’s happen and the electricity goes out that we are pulled up sharp and thrust back into a century when the word “electricity” hadn’t even been thought up yet much less put into action.
On Saturday at least 1200 homes and businesses were affected when electricity was suddenly no longer under our control. A large scale blackout that not only affected every single thing that uses electricity to operate but also appeared to have adverse effects on people’s ability to think and workout complex problems for themselves; like how to open a door that has a CLOSED sign on it. I was forced to close the store because it simply cannot operate without electricity to run the gas pumps, registers, and security cameras. I placed two very large CLOSED signs on the doors and then spent over 2 hours watching people try and figure out why the doors would not open no matter how hard they pulled on them. Some would go from one door to the other, try that one, when that failed to open on command precede back to the first door and give that another try.
I watched as they placed hands up onto the glass and peered into the dark interior of the store trying to understand why the doors would not open and upon spotting me would play a game of charades indicating I should open the doors for them. No amount of explanation on my part that, due to the electricity being off, I could not accommodate them just now would convince them. I got pleas to just let them pay for gas, get some cigarettes, buy a pint etc. and despite me explaining again and again that there was NO electricity so the pumps would not work, the registers were little more than paperweights, and I could not let them in anyhow, seemed to not make the slightest impression on their once thinking brains. I was talking, explaining coherently and with simple words and yet the looks of confusion on each and every face clearly led me to believe I must be speaking in a tongue not previously known to man.
This confusion and inability to comprehend that, for the moment anyhow, their desires were not going to be met, led some to wander aimlessly back to their cars, obviously still trying to work things out while others decided anger was the best approach and belligerent demands and threats were what was needed at this point. Thankfully the door muffled much of what I’m positive I would not have wanted to hear clearly anyhow, but enough got through that made me glad the doors were locked and, unless body language indicated otherwise, I was safe inside the store as one after the other customers went into melt down mode.
I can only surmise, after yesterday’s adventure into the Twilight Zone, that our education system is failing our children in ways we cannot even begin to comprehend. After all, why would fully grown cognizant adults still expect doors to open that have CLOSED signs on them or electrical gas pumps to work when there is no electricity? Have they not been taught that electrical things require actual electricity to operate efficiently? These same teachers must be teaching gullible children that, despite all known laws of physics and nature, convenience store clerks have the power to make electrical things work even when there is no electricity and our refusal to do so is merely due to our selfish natures and desire to see your day interrupted and if we can get that vein pulsing on your forehead to eventually burst then all the better. In other words, you the customer, should take it very personal when we, the store clerk, are unable to give you gas on command or open a locked and CLOSED store merely because you ask us too.
Yes, it is a well-known fact that store clerks do have the power to do magic, but our menial salaries and the belief that we can be treated like mere beasts of burden by the local population; cause us to withhold said powers from the underserving population. Plus, purposely ticking off otherwise civil mannerly customers is just one perk that comes with the job. It is what keeps us clocking in day after day despite the long hours, sore feet, and thankless attitude of many of our customers. We know you wish you were us and dream of having this job but it is only open to the few with the patience and fortitude to withstand the unrelenting stream of impatient demanding customers who, for whatever reason, seem to believe they are the ONLY customer in the store or that their needs take priority over anything else anywhere at any time. We have seemingly raised our children with a Me First Me Only mindset that, while it might raise its ugly head from time to time among the best of us, seems to come clawing to the surface in most of us at the mere flip of a switch, or lack thereof.
Just try and remember one thing the next time the electricity goes off on such a wide scale, if you are inconvenienced by the fact that electrical things are no longer doing what you want them to do, then chances are everyone else is having that same problem. After all, if merely shaking your fist, raising your voice, and showing your inner beast was enough to get things working properly, parents everywhere that have ever tried to put a toy together the night before Christmas would have figured out its power decade ago.
Sooooo....being behind the counter at two completely different jobs gives one a perspective on the human condition not easily seen from behind a desk in an office. I get to see the tired...the dirty...the greedy...the sneaky...the lost...and yes...the clueless. I also get to hear things, see things, and occasionally take part in things I'd be just as happy not to partake of. *sigh* such is life.
Anyhow...a few moments caught during my many many MANY hours working this past 3 weeks that I feel are worth repeating. Needless to say...a little humor (dark and dry none the less) goes along way to making the clock move closer to check out time and home to the kids.
Enjoy. Or not.
Every Saturday or Sunday night a man, of whom I believe is Mexican, comes into the store and buys the same thing. A 6 pack of beer and two boxes of condoms. Last week he also included a little device I didn't even know we sold...apparently it gives "more pleasure to the woman in your life". Ive worked in this store for about 3 months now...he has ALWAYS come in on one of those days and buys just those items. Might I also add he generally has a swagger in his walk and a lazy smile on his face? I thought not. Anyhow, this past weekend he didn't show up...I'm wondering...did he get married by chance? Now the need for protection AND pleasing the "woman in your life" is obsolete as she is now your wife. Ha!!!
Maybe hes just resting?
Side note...of ALL the packs of condoms I have sold in the store...and its been a lot...ALL of them have been sold to people I assume are Mexican (not trying to typecast or anything...but sometimes looks are all you can go on). None to White Americans so to speak. Not trying to point fingers...but SOMEONE is having unprotected sex. Does your mother know?
I can always spot a potential shop lifter. We basically get the same people in the shop night after night. The few "strangers" are either travellers...or punks from other neighborhoods coming to take their chances in a store that doesn't know them. You can spot them by one of several ways.
1. They keep looking at you over the shelves as they "browse". hmmm? Is my hair a mess?
2. The wear VERY baggy jackets and pants...very. Need help pulling those pants up son?
3. They pick up stuff and put it back again and again. Such picky shoppers.
4. They might even decide to leave...but then turn back and "browse" again.
5. For those that attempt to actually buy the alcohol rather than steal it...as soon as you ask for ID they do a pat down of their entire body, as if they suddenly forgot wear they keep their wallet, and claim they need to go get it from the car. Never come back. For those that do attempt to steal...the 42,000 cameras IN PROMINENT DISPLAY throughout the store...seems to bother them not at all.
Smile punks...your on Kelly's camera.
Ive discovered that the reading skills of Americans (I say Americans as I AM in America so lets assume most or a majority of those coming in the store are in fact American...OK?) has slid down that slippery slope even faster than previously imagined.
Take for instance, a sign on our front door indicating THIS DOOR IS BROKEN...PLEASE USE OTHER DOOR...merely results in a multitude of potential customers banging into the door as they attempt to open it. hmmm?
A sign I place on the door every night at closing that says CLOSED in big prominent RED LETTERS seems to have no meaning to the many customers that still park their cars...come to the doors and attempt to open them. Not once but several times...as if jiggling the doors will make the CLOSED sign magically disappear and the doors open. I will indicate by a sweeping motion with my arms that the doors are, in fact, CLOSED. They will stand there with puppy dog faces trying to get me to open them so they can come in and purchase that last "needed" item. If I for a moment thought that last "needed" item was milk or bread for the kids breakfast I would open that door with no hesitation...but I know your much needed item is more than likely a pack of smokes or 12 pack of Bud Lite...no thanks...door is closed...move along. Next?
People can no longer read a price tag. Not even a little bit. Ive lost count of the number of times Ive been asked how much something costs...and so I point out the price tag, generally in a bright red or flashy yellow sticker. They ALWAYS act amazed and claim they didn't see it...but I think they just don't know how to read numbers...or something. hmmmm? It happens far too often to be a coincidence.
When something declares itself 50% off...yes people...that does mean HALF!!! At least when I attended school a few eons ago 50% meant half...of course now days with economics being what they are...maybe 50% really means something else...so customers are just checking to be sure. hmmmm? Better check into that.
Some random comments and things Id like to share with you guys.
Last week a guy comes in late at night, a traveller, and ask me if I'm afraid to work alone in a store in which the chances for robbery are high statistically speaking. I told him that, while a few customers make me nervous when I'm alone, for the most part it hasn't been bad. (lets forget for a moment that it only takes ONE bad customer to change that thinking *sigh*). He commented that even though he was a man (hmmm?) that he would be "fucking afraid" to work there late at night...and he "carried a gun". Damn!!! Wheres the Jobs Wanted section of the paper? If a man with a gun is chicken shit to do my job...well heck...
One night a guy comes in wearing a cool jacket. I commented on its coolness. He thanked me and left the store. A week later he came back with a similar jacket in his hands and gave it to me. It was a Columbia jacket. Apparently "the best" winter coat anyone can have...according to the many people Ive asked about it as nearly 90% of the people here wear one. I went to the store to buy one before but they cost a pretty penny...anywhere from $100 to $200...and this guy just GAVE me one. How cool is that?
Now granted I just came from 23 years living in the Arab world in which its customary to be given something outright that you admired....whether you want it or not....but that almost NEVER happens in America...at least not the America I know. Then again...I haven't been back that long. hmmm? My jacket is the coolest.
Lady walks into the Calendar Club store Ive been working in and asks..."are these calendars for 2010?" hmmm? I'm thinking she required a smack on the back of the head...but I withheld for legal reasons.
Guy looks at my smooshed car and says..."did something crash into your car?" hmmm?
Lady runs into the store with small child and very dirty hands...shes like..."quick...sell me some Wet Ones so I can clean her hands!!!" I'm like..."why don't you take her to the bathroom and wash her hands?" ....Lady is like..."yeah...that will work too." and hurries off towards the bathrooms. hmmm?
Here is a thought to leave with all of you would be customers. If you come into a store and see the employee mopping the floor...do a small kindness and at least attempt to WIPE YOUR FEET BEFORE ENTERING...the life you save could be your own. I'm Just Saying.
That is all for now.
