This dead air is brought to you by...

Work being out of control! Will post intermittently as things are hilarious.

Besos to you all.

Ruh roh, I'm illiterate

I hear that linking makes you a worse writer:

A sentence that's written to include hyperlinks won't necessarily make as much sense without them. You write differently when you know you can't dodge explaining yourself by fobbing the task off on someone more eloquent or better informed. You have to express what you want to say more completely, and you have to think harder about what information ought to be included and what's merely peripheral. (Knowing what to leave out is as important to writing well as what you include.)

Well, shit, I'm illiterate city. Woe is me?

Netflix, marry me

We've already talked about streaming literary adaptations from Netflix. What will they come up with next? Of course it's a list of Netflix for people who love plays. Is there anything Netflix can't do? (Besides send me a copy of "Amadeus" that doesn't need to be flipped like an LP, of course.)

All hail, Biblioracle

For the indecisive, those who don't plan ahead, and don't believe that every book on GoodReads deserves five stars oh em gee!, meet the Biblioracle. Based on your last five book choices, and a sacrifice of your choice, it will tell you what to read next.

I will do the same, in exchange for cookies.

Summer reading, or how I keep myself entertained

Honestly, I think the only reason people put such emphasis on summer reading is because there are no massive gift giving holidays to liven up sales. That said, hurray lists of summer reading!

If you are an indie lover, check out this list of choice summer reading from independent book sellers (from NPR, naturally). If you are a steamy romance reader, check out this list of steamasaurus rexes (written by one of the women from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, obvi). And if you are just really shallow (me!), check out these classics with great new covers.

Cue reading and no work getting done.

Why I heart the Rejectionist and Le R hates Cormac McCarthy

I know we all already read the Rejectionist religiously, because that blog is so good and so smart and so spot on. Well, Le R strikes again with her analysis of man fiction and her response to Cormac McCarthy. Heart heart. Heart.

The Oatmeal explains Twilight, my heart explodes

I love the Oatmeal. My universe has been explained so succinctly by poorly drawn comics, and I love love love it. So the Oatmeal explaining Twilight? Game on.

The fanfic dilemma

Confession: I avoid fanfic like the devil avoids church. I'm generally not interested in non-canonical views of characters I'm attached to, which I think explains why I've never heard of the Marion Zimmer Bradley fanfic fandango. Jim C. Hines does a really great job of bringing all the facts together, and sheds some light on a tricky wicket.

Bad Ombreviations

I may have skipped writing posts in favor of watching the Lost finale. I know, bad. But hey, look at...this...bulldog who can't get up!

Hey, he has to learn to get himself upright. It's dog science. And ADORABLE.

Not be a crotchety grandma yet again, but...

So, okay. The Rumpus is launching a new book club, and, well, I'll let them describe:

You’re invited to a moderated online discussion with the author at the end of the month which we’ll edit and run on The Rumpus as a feature article. You can also write a review of the book and we’ll run the best written review on the website. You don’t have to participate in the discussion or review the book, you could just subscribe to receive a new, unpublished book every month.

Now, on the one hand, it is nice to be able to read something first, and be the smug, "Oh, you're just getting to that now? I read it before it was cool" guy. And talking with the author about her book, also a great way to engage with the text. And I don't have the issues that the dick commenters do below the announcement (Oh, $25 is too much! How dare you make any profit on this endeavor?). But I feel all "ew" inside about the reader reviews. Don't we have enough crappy reader reviews? Isn't that what Amazon and Goodreads are for? Why are you punishing me Rumpus? I don't care about John D. Took An English Class Once's opinion. Throw me a bone! Don't open another forum for meaningless crap reviews!

Then again, it's possible I just hate book reviews. In which case, please disregard, and give your $25 to the Rumpus.

Storing the stash with style

For some of us, closet space is a mythical beast to be worshiped and lured into our homes. For this demographic, where do you store your books?

Om nom nom storage I love you.

Hotties can read

Are you interested in hotties? And you interested in men? Then perhaps you'll be interested in Hot Guys Reading Books. Some of the guys aren't reading, and some aren't...hot...and some of the photos seems to have been taken surreptitiously, which is a little sketchy, but for the most part, hurray!

Tyra Banks, smizing model

Because while she writes, she smiles with her eyes. Her YA trilogy stars the Intoxibellas, and that's how you know this is actually Tyra's brainchild, because only she would come up with that.

Love. Her.

Neil Gaiman charges $45k for four hours

Neil Gaiman recently spoke at a library event, and was paid $45,000 for a four hour talk (and before anyone asks, the money was earmarked for speakers, so they couldn't spend it on anything else).

Some people are angry, but I say, hey, I would also charge that much. Now taking speaking engagements! Mail cash, and I assure you I'll show up.

How to cope with your unread library

Kirsty Logan writes at the Millions about her vast collection of unread books, why she keeps them, and how she avoids feeling guilty about them. I have absolutely felt this way before:

Last week I bought a book. I looked at the blurb and read the first paragraph, and I could feel the texture of the book in my mind....With every sentence I read, the book I had imagined shrank smaller and smaller. By the end of the third page, it had disappeared. The actual book was by no means bad, it just wasn’t the book I thought it would be.

Been there! I think I'm also less likely to read books I got for free, or bought for cheap, as opposed to books I've borrowed, or expensive books I've bought. Am I alone in this?

Twitter and grammar, things that make me vomit edition

I have a personal policy, that involves eschewing e-contact with all people who use text speak, can't spell, and abuse emoticons (you get one per conversation. This is a strict rule that is enforced with real-life slaps once we finally meet up). That said, I choose to avoid the bad spellers (Firefox has built in spell check. Use it, please), the terrible grammarians, and emoticon abusers. I don't seek them out or, God forbid, try to fix their mistakes, like these Twitter grammar jerks.

And yes, I realize that someone who has a blog dedicated to commenting and occasionally judging stuff (who, me?) is throwing rocks from a glass house, but seriously, this is like going to visit the monkeys at the zoo and complaining when they throw shit. It's what monkeys do. Sure, there are some non-shit flinging monkeys, and some grammatically correct Twitter-ers, but not many.

Plus, seriously, it's like bailing out the Titanic with a thimble. Smoochy was wrong: you can't change the world, and you also can't make a dent.

Revisting the past, YA style

A new trend in the blogosphere is rereading childhood books and mocking their hilarity. Also enjoying the awesomeness that was Sweet Valley.

Judy Blume quiz!

Check it out, ladies and gents. I scored a 64%, which is higher than Jessica at Jezebel. Beat that!

Prison bloggers, unite

Lil' Wayne, recently incarcerated rap artist, has begun blogging from jail. Now, I don't particularly care about what he has to say, but Gawker put together a great post comparing Lil' Wayne's prison blogging to great prison writers of old, including St. Paul and the Marquis de Sade.

Prison: can super help your writing. That advice is free to all you aspiring novelists!

I fought St. Patty's Day, and St. Patty's Day won

Thus, no posts today, while I drink Gatorade and try not to puke in my Chicago Manual purse.