Some things are so difficult... haiz... i'm really tired now... too bad for me... haha... well, goodnight...

Ha... i've just finished my dinner 5 minutes ago... i finished it in 3 minutes man... haha...


Damn... i was super tired... haha... i woke up freaking early for nobodys business lor... like some dumb fuck... haha... my papa had to go somewhere so i had no transport... so i had to wake up earlier... and thanks to my stupid instinct, i over estimated time... haha... so i happened to wake up too early, and reached Khatib 30 minutes before the meeting time... haha... well, i had a couple of back-up plans just in case something screwed up along the way... but sadly, they were of no use... haha... played PSP at the train station for what seemed to be hell long... for a moment, i got a little worried because i felt as if i played for a hell long time and nobody came... i took out my handphone to check the time... it was 7.37am... meeting time is 7.30am... i had all rights to worry... then, my stupid instinct kicked in again... i checked the date... just in case i went to school on a non schooling day... haha... well, i got the date right... so i decided to call... and so happened that after the call, everyone came... haha... i got worries for nothing... all because of a PSP... haha...


Lesson was kind of fun... i did drawings again... haha... and i think my drawing of "the common man" is getting better... haha... i think my drawing rocks man... i'm going to start a new period man... The Common Man period... and everyone is going to draw the common man till the end of time... haha... 5 years later, STA students are going to have to research on the common man period for History lessons and everyone is going to get a damn 'D' grade... i don't know why, but i'll find it out when they get it... haha... haiz... i think i'm in love with the common man... haha...


Here's another epic episode of my stupid instinct... haha... i headed down to work... at a freaking early time... i did not want to be late and be freaking rush... but i ended up reaching there one hour earlier... i decided to slack around till it's time for work... went to the back and played PSP... and while playing my PSP, a fucking frog hop out somewhere near me from the wash area... fuck man... i freaked out a squeeze to one corner... i was praying hard the frog came to eat the freaking flies that had been bothering me the whole time while i was PSP-ing... but sadly, the Buddha had brought the frog over to freak the shit out of me... i almost peed on my pants man... it's that scary... after hiding at one corner, the damn frog hopped off... well, it could have done that earlier... at least the frog's disappearance would put my torment to an end... but NO, the damn frog had to stay there for 5 minutes or so and hop closer to me... but well, at least it's gone... i'm unharmed, it's unharmed... haha...

Did order taking again... i had to control my pace cause Wilwin is going navigator... haha... he's the man man... haha... well, i've forgotten how to promote prime and tenderloin already... haha... i did not promote it the whole day... i need the menu to study again... haha... got to get back all my promotional speech... haha... well, guess the holidays is a good time to learn... gonna earn big bucks man... 6 day week next week... i'm free on wednesday, tuesday evrning, saturday afternoon and i can't remember the rest... haha... well, busy man i'll be... haha...


Alright man... time to get a recovery rest... but first, i'm gonna have to do something for myself which i've not done for a hell long time... well, this "something" is done only for others and not myself... well, tonight is me, myself and Larry... haha... CUT SONG!!!

Damn... i just something really stupid awhile ago... haha... i went to shower without getting my clothes and towel!!! haha... i got to grab some clothes from the laundry basket to seek "shelter" while i get my stuff... haha... lucky for me, everyone was downstairs doing their stuff... haha... what an experience... how exciting... haha...


Woke up at 10am... i'm so happy... another 9 hours of sleep... 'shiok' man!!! but i'm still tired... haha... played PSP the whole morning... when i got bored, i went to watch Semi-Pro... well, the show is really semi-pro product... it's supposed to be a comedy... but i don't find myself laughing in the first 30 minutes of the show... well, i did not finish the show because i had a urgent call... urgent call from Yvonne... well, so happened that Yvonne and Charlene got bored with class and decided that shopping would be more fun... haha... i rushed like f***... showered and had lunch in less than 20 minutes... haha... how exciting... well, i did not buy anything today... nothing caught my eye and i wasn't really in a shopping mood... haha... just there to entertain them... the more the merrier after all... haha..


After shopping, i headed down to Bishan for a exciting episode of gym!!! shoulder and triceps day... well, i think i got myself injured... haha... i pushed myself too hard on an empty stomach... haha... after gym, there is this extreme pain in my left shoulder... extreme as in EXTREME!! it was pain to the extend where it was almost unbearable... i wanted to shout the pain out but people might think i'm some mad shit... it was damn uncomfortable... and shortly after the pain, i could not move my left arm for like 10 minutes or so... damn... i got really scared... my arm shoulder is in extreme pain and i could not move my left arm!!! i thought i had to give up my left arm and go to some underpass and beg for money in the future... lucky for me, i slowly regain control of my arm and the pain subsided... damn... that is one experience i don't want to try again... i almost pee on my pants man... haha...


Guess what!! i found my lost cheque!!! now i'm $60 richer!!! haha... damn... a few days back, i could not find my other cheque that i did not want to deposite too soon... i remember i left it in my wallet but it was nowhere near... Charlene helped me search my wallet and could not find it too... haha... and guess where i found it today? in my wallet... it was in a little pocket beside the pocket where i kept my other cheque... haha... the both cheques where right beside each other!!! how stupid can i get? haha...

I'M FREAKING TIRED!!! by the way, that's not a complain... it's a fact... haha... well, today is one fine day... the weather was great in the morning... walk to school was peaceful and enjoyable because i was reading Men's Health the whole journey... haha...


Lesson was great.. although it was history... haha... finally drew a little picture... haha... what a STA student am i? never draw a shit since Secondary 2... haha... well, it's the School of TECHNOLOGY Arts for a reason... haha... did this little fusion lamp of ancient Greek architecture... haha... after work, i went for a little lousy talk where i need to pay for my CE points... haha... about this Myanmar Cyclone thing... i hate the speaker for 3 reasons... One, he don't know how to use a microphone... my ears are so hurtful after the whole thing... haha... Two, he reads from the slide... am i stupid or what? i can read dammit... Three, he makes it sound like i'm the cause of the cyclone... damn bastard... donated $1 to the sad people... up my karma by $1... don't laugh hor... they say $1 can feed a child for a day lor... if i were to donate more, i would rather adopt the little kid lor...


UT was a breeze... no kick man... the facilitators looked down on me lah... haha... and one new record... this is the first UT this semester that took me 29 minutes and 4 seconds... haha... it was fun doing the UT... haha... especially with one of my extremely corny answer... haha...


I'm super tired now... and i just forgot what i wanted to blog about to make this a entry worth reading... haha... too bad man... oh yeah... now i remember...

Damn... i think i'm a freaking PSP MHF2 addict... i've spent at least 230 hours on that game... and now i'm reading forums and all... shit man... I'VE BEEN DRUGED!!! somebody put something in my game!!! dammit... i have to stop myself some how... somebody, please drug me with something more healthy!! i need it badly... haha...


Nights...

Haiz... what a terrible start of the day... i was so tired... all thanks to Van Helsing last night... i know i was all whining about myself being really tired last night... but had no choice but to watch it... it's like once every hundred thousand years or so, where the sun don't shine and the moon don't glow and the grass don't grow before the show is showed on live TV!!! i had no choice man... it was quite a good show... compared to the current movies that i've watched... haha...


Well, i had a Honky Tong facilitator today... he speaks like crap and i could bearly understand what he is trying to say... haha but it's ok... cause i managed to pull through the day... i did nothing the whole day... well, not really nothing, but i played my PSP too... anyway, i did not do a single piece of shit work today... Mei Ting and Vivian did all the work... and i was sitting there doing boring Gathering Quest for my Monster Hunter!!! damn... 2 whole hours of bad gaming session and i did nothing... i ought to get shot... anyway, thanks a million and one times to the 2 ladies who made the presentation successful... haha...


After school, i headed down to Boon Lay for some cheap BJ with a handful of us... thanks to someone who insisted not to be mentioned, i had to travel all the way home.. ALONE!!! well, there are pros and cons to the actions by that name-shall-not-be-mentioned person... at least i got myself a good sleep on the way home... BUT, i was still alone... no one to talk to... so sad... my mp3 battery was on the verge of death, but it pulled through for the sake of me... had quite some fun eating, but a little annoyed by the little brats who kept on bugging me for my PSP and Larry(my laptop's name)... one fine day, i'm going to lock up my PSP and Larry, swallow the keys and bury it deep in the soil of some random spot outside my house... nobody will find it or get access to it till the end of time... haiz... whatever it is, bring your umbrellas tomorrow... cause it's going to be a wet day!! either that or i'm just going to be really unlucky... haha...


Talking about unlucky, i got the greatest shock of my life... or at least this roller coaster grading system... i got an 'A' grade for history!!! amazing? HELL YES!!! how in the blue hell i'm i supposed to get such a grade? a late RJ? if a late RJ can get me an 'A' grade now? explain the 'D' grade last time!!! haha... bloody hell... this facilitator is one hell of a bad ass... haha...


Alright man... time for a good rest... life is going to be challenging from now onwards cause the snowball effect had start!!! i'll fall sick soon... and i'll start complaining about the shrinking body soon... and i'm going to annoy everyone with my complains soon... haha... goodnight...

Haiz... i'm damn tired now... went for round 2 at my uncle's wake... the chanting was a different one... it was really 3 hours long... with 2 breaks in between... damn tired... sit, stand and kneel there the whole time... i almost cried during the prayers again... it's the actions that touch my heart... there was one occasion where i had to step back in the middle of the prayer and my uncle's brother came to the front and start bowing in all directions... i don't know what is that, but it filled my eyes with tears... haiz... and in the process of prayer, i got my hand burnt... the ash from the incense fell onto my hand leaving a red swell... haha... it's damn sad lah... today is my uncle's last day to be on Earth physically... haiz... tomorrow is the day of cremation... i guess what's important now is that he is still alive in our hearts... and this way, he'll never die...


Here's a little real life story to my little gambling friends... well, my mama had this friend from her first job, a malaysian to be exact... he happened to be the first to win the Singapore's ToTo... he won 3 million... and this malaysian was so happy, he bought himself a sport car... and in the end, he died in the car he bought with the money... so people, know the moral of the story? the moral of the story is not: don't buy a sport car with the money you earn... instead, the moral is: return your earnings to charity or something... cause whatever you win is free money... so you got to return a little to society... even better, don't gamble... haha... well, the choice is yours...


My mama won $60 from the 5 million ToTo... haha... i helped my mama check the numbers... and i think i just got my brother addicted to Scratch Cards... i told him about the Scratch Cards and so happened that we walked by a Singapore Pool... he decided to try it for fun and went to buy 2 cards... too bad for him, he had no beginner's luck... i guess he had become a gambling addict too... but as far as i'm concern, i'm not going to gamble anymore... haha...

Back from the wake... what an exciting experience... i'll elaborate later... i'll do this in a chronological manner... whatever that means... haha...


Woke up freaking early in the morning for no reason... i was really sleepy... read and played PSP till 10+am... then i fell asleep while watching Pokemon... haha... had a good, short nap... haha...


Gym was great... pump until the chest bloat... haha... at least i've pumped it back to its usual size... now it's time to grow bigger... haha...

I was freaking unlucky... i forgot to bring my wallet out when i go for gym... i ended up borrowing money from my mama... and SMRT robbed me... i had to pay $1.10 just to travel 2 stops!! what the hell man... that's crazy i tell you... i pay about 67cents to travel from YCK to Braddel when i have the card... and now i'm paying hell lot more to travel less? this is ridicules man... and the damn General Ticketing Machine don't accept $10 notes... i had to go KFC and change to smaller change... i feel like an idiot man... haiz... well, stupid actions bring about stupid results... haha...


Went for the wake in the evening... it's damn sad to see everything... the picture, the coffin... i feel very sad inside but i could not cry... i was involved in the chant thing... it was supposed to last 3 hours... but mine finished in 1 and a half hour... they passed out a chinese book with little english pronunciation on the side of each chinese word... man.. we had to stand and kneel at certain parts of the chant... and at one time, we had to sit... nothing troublesome about.. after all, it's respect... but the chinese chant was pretty much a trouble to me... they we singing all over and dragging all the words... i had a challenging time figuring out when the next word is in... haha... at times, they leading chanter rap the chant... damn, she was freaking fast... i got lost almost all the time... there was one occasion where i was 3 pages behind... haha... the book consisted of 120+ pages, but lucky for me we only chanted 80+pages... well, enough with the technical stuff... the chant actually moved me to tears... but i held back every time my eyes gets flooded with tears... you think i'm a chinese idiot? actually, i am... i interpreted the meaning of the chant on my own... with the help of the way it's sung and the words, i got a story on my own... it's super duper sad lor... the chant was like a guide to the soul... it tells the soul the direction to his last destination... and the chant tells me about the troubles the sould have to pull through... there is this part saying, "Go through the fire, the fire will never die, but you'll feel no pain"... something like that lah... and it also ask the gods to protect the soul in its journey... it's damn sad lah... i almost cried like a couple of times... haiz... well, my uncle's last journey will be a easy one... i know it...


Alright man... i need my rest now... i still have round 2 tomorrow... goodnight...

Haha!! i think i'm turning stupid... or at least a little crazy... haha... i've been really mad with my words and i think i've annoyed quite a number of people... haha... if you feel annoyed by me at anytime of today, i'm really sorry... haha...


Today's class was great!!! we did a hell lot of videos... but sadly, i think the other groups did way better than us... theirs is hell lot funnier than ours... haha... well, we'll learn from each other... haha... i'll be better the next time... haha...


Finally have a chance to walk with Yvonne down the usual road to the same bus stop where we crap a hell lot... haha... since the start of the semester, we never had the chance... everyone was busy with their own lives and all... but today was special... we talked a hell lot... about XLBs on her wedding day... damn funny... just keep adding to her ideas and have a good laugh... haha... i had a great time...


Damn... i don't know what to blog about now... it's early, it's friday and it's a boring night... haha... well, i'll just think of something... haha...


Just updated the class blog yesterday about the future events... people, please do visit... and stop give me crap responds... nothing is moving man... haha... well, guess we'll need another meeting to settle things... haha...


Haiz... i'm really dry on ideas... sian... well, i better stop now before things start becoming lame...

Life have to be different from now on... everything comes and go... i don't know how to react... well, life goes on... at least now he had gone to his paradise city...


Well, yesterday was one hell of an adventure... early in the morning, gym!!! 'chiong' like one fuck shit... trying to recreate the experience i once had... but well, there ache wasn't really there today and the growth is not obvious... haiz... well, more hard work for me then... haha...


Celebrated Kim's 40th35th birthday... had one hell lot of fun... but i think i was a little too noisy... haha... well, what to do? just trying to make the place more rowdy and lively... well, my bad i guess... i think i was drunk or something...


Dine at some Aston or something like that... ate beef... not bad... actually, i have not comparison... haha... cause i can't remember how BJ's ribeye taste like... haha... well, i guess BJ's ribeye is still the best... at least the smell is... haha...


Just got home at 11.36pm... the house is not the same... it's so quiet now... i can hear myself typing loudly and flipping of the newspaper... it's not the same old Teo family atmosphere... can tell that everyone is pulling a strong front... well, what can i expect? i'm doing the same... i've fought back my tears and fears a couple of times now... well, i'm going to be a stronger man from today onwards... i've been inspired by my late uncle to be a nice person and achieve my goals in life... i must be a new man... a nice man... please guide me to become a better person... i'm going to be the next Father Theresa... lame.. well, one thing that i got to learn to stop is making fun of things... that will be one hard shit to shit... it's like an evil constipation... anyway, i really hope my uncle goes to a better place... i don't believe in reincarnations... don't come to Earth and suffer... i rather he stay up there and enjoy himself... on the other hand, i hope my cuzzies and auntie will be fine... i dont' want to see skinnier versions of them anymore... sliming is no longer the "in" thing... haiz... well, things are different now... or should i say special... since i don't believe in difference... haha...


Goodnight...

Haiz... another late RJ, another confirmed D... haha... well, something are just so hard to get... some people are just so hard to satisfy...


UT was amazingly.. EASY!!! haha... i was expecting myself to fail very badly this time round cause i don't know how is the whole test going to be like... DMA man... will they make me do a instant recording? edit a audio clip on the spot? or ask easy questions? haha... it rocks man... it was hell easy!!! i can do 2 out of 3 questions... i could do the camera and audio questions, but i could not do a single shit about editing man... haha... i attempted one though, but i guess it's not going to be very right... haha... well, CONFIRM A LAH!! if everyone else did not do too well and make a average mark person like me look good... haha... kidding only...

Damn... my day had just gone bad... i was happily playing monster hunter with my brother when my mother came with a bloody cup of ORANGE JUICE!!! damn!! why?? what the hell man... i got so unhappy after that... haha... how childish can i get? i told my mum that i'll drink only half the cup, and she agreed... but after some thoughts later, i drank the whole cup... damn... my mother went through so much trouble to get me this 'holy' orange and squeeze the juice for me... how can i accept half of her effort? damn... if there is someone i have to hate, i'll hate the damn Buddha... i even told my mother in her face, "Tell the damn Buddha to use apples instead!" when i was in mild rage... word for word man... i feel damn bad... it's not her fault... she was cheated into believing such crap... haiz...


Working can be a good thing at times... haha... for example, some nice girls come to eat, you'll get a eye candy for the next hour or so... haha... that's pretty common... haha... but what i saw today was super rare man... i see loan sharks!! i think... quite exciting... the splash coffee on the poor man... then talk nicely... then shout a little, the talk nicely again... haha... so exciting lor... haha... but these people are bastards too... i was wiping the damn tables innocently and they got coffee all over one of the tables that i've clean... son of a bitch... splash coffee go somewhere else lah... people in China all starving and thirsty, and this people are here wasting coffee... what's worst is that they throw the towel that i was using on the soil... wha lao weh... not fair right? i'm trying to get my job done nicely and there they are making my life difficult... i could not find my towel the whole time until they left... and by then, the towel was freaking dirty... i keep on washing it but it cannot be clean... i ended up soaking it... dammit... waste my time only... but i don't mind watching such a show if they do it in a more peaceful manner and don't make my job difficult... haha...


If good people die young, why do monks live for so long? damn, they must be doing a hell lot of shit being the Buddha... haha... i bet they have been doing illegal gambling, eating beef, playing with woman(or each other)... haha... no wonder they can live for so long... well, i believe that you can be nice, but not too nice... if not your life would become miserably short... there must be a moderation in your actions... so don't be too nice... haha...


Damn tired now... tomorrow still have UT... and the bloody faci who gives random grades... i bet she don't know how to grade people lor... i think she rolls dices at home to decide our grades... damn, she is evil... she's going to live a really long life... she'll probably live past my life time and torture my kids too... damn...

Went to visit uncle in the hospital awhile ago... he don't look too bad... just a little pale and swollen... but apart from that, i think he's fine... at least that's what i think... but the doctor says that he has about 2 weeks at most... damn sad lor... i was holding on to my tears throughout the time that i'm in front of him... i hate hospitals... every time i see someone there, i find myself in tears... haiz... i'm so gay... haha... anyway, i'm praying for my uncle to be well... or at least enjoy his last moment... i'll do anything to make him recover... i'll stop eating beef... i'll even go vegetarian... haiz...

In the car today, my mama and pappy were telling us what to do if there were to get themselves into the same situation as my uncle... they say that if there is not cure to whatever they had and they are bedridden, they don't want us to do anything to prolong their lives... they say when it's time to go, they'll go... they don't want to lie in bed for days doing nothing on their last journey in life... hiaz... well, guess we'll have to respect their decisions when it's time to make it...


Ha... i'll not let this entry just be a sad one to bore my readers, time to make things interesting... when it's time to think, i'll think... when it's time to have fun, i'll have fun... haha...

Well, i feel very lucky today... you know the game that i've been play, Monster Hunter Freedom 2... there is this extremely rare item that can only be gotten from this two dumb wyverns(they are dumb because i'm always killing them)... i've been getting a lot of this super duper rare item... haha... it's like there is only 5% chance of getting this item for each kill... and in one kill, i got 3!! in another, i got 2!! haha... that's really crazy man... i think i need to put this luck into good use... i'll go buy 4D, Toto or Scratch n' Win... i might win the grand prize... haha... well, as i've promised, i'll never gamble again... haha... so all out there, especially Jasmin, don't tempt me... i'm nothing but a pure, innocent little kid... haha...


Some times i really wonder how people do their blog entries in chinese... man.. that's a crazy language... and when you type them, you'll need to type all the pronunciation, then find the word... it's mad i tell you... if i were to do my entry in chinese, i'll be having a hard time trying to find the pronunciation of the word i wanted... and once i've found it, i'll have another hard time finding the right character... by the time that's done, i would have forgotten what is the next word that i wanted... haha... damn... why do we need to learn chinese when the china man is learning english? haha... i feel like i've wasted 10 years of my life learning a language that i ove failing... haha... well, for the first 6 of the 10 years, i've been acing the language... haha... but after that, i think i've just turned a little stupid... haha...


Haiz... my muscles are all aching at the wrong places... haha... well, at least i know that there is results... haha... work tomorrow!!! i'll let my DSLR be my motivation... i see a hell lot of great scenery in the hospital today... as in not the people, but outside the window... damn... if only i had a DSLR to capture every moment...

Why i'm i living life with fear? i'm so scared... i fear death.. death of a family member... one of my uncle, he his about 2 weeks left... i'm damn scared... i don't know how to react... the thought of it brings tears in my eyes... after gym today, i kept on thinking about it... i was desperate to find some distractions from myself... i ended up buy a book to keep my mind out of stuff... haiz... i don't want this to happen... why do things have to happen so early? why must the good live in suffering? this is so unfair... i myself have done him wrong in the past... i'm going to live on with guilt... i hate god for making this "magical" cycle... it's not working...


Haiz... i don't want to think anymore... well, let's look on the brighter side of life for now...


Which fool told me that i look fine? i meant Alvin, Wei Hong and Yong Jie in the gym today... they were all surprised that i've shrunk a lot... and i'm surprised that they grew a lot... shit man... my training method must be wrong... i need more motivation... damn... i go 'chiong' today like one mad ass... keep on pushing my shoulders... even when they are sore, i push them harder... i think that's the only way to grow now... cause i've not really push my limits for quite a long time now... i've always been in my comfort zone... guess that's the reason why i'm not growing... plus all the sickness and lack of sleep... it's poison to my body man... haha... well, i'm most proud of my triceps... i went to the extreme... i went beyond the usual weight i carry by 10 pieces... each piece is about 5 pounds... and 10 pounds is about 4kg... before the 10 pieces, there is another 60 pounds... haha... you do the maths... it's crazy man... push until my arms went all sore and swollen... it's been so long since i felt such tight skin on my triceps... haha... i push till i almost died man... i felt like vomiting, my head start aching, i felt a little dizzy and i'm still pushing... haha... i think my blood vessels almost blow up... haha... after the triceps, my appitite was dead... i could not think of food... my abs was pain... i felt like vomiting... haha... i love this kind of training... although you experience a hell lot of pain, i hope i'll experience a hell lot of growth too... as the saying goes; not pain, no gain... haha... Incredible Sam is back... i'm going pump up my body to the size i once had in semester one... time to kill... whahaha(really evil laughter with the Dracula music behind)...


Everyone was not home... parents in the hospital, sister go watch movie, brother go watch movie... and me? gym... sadly, i had to hunt for my own dinner... i was thinking a hell lot then... i tried to get people out for dinner... at least it can keep myself distracted... or i can speak my mind a little... but sadly(again), almost all were busy... in the end, i had to have dinner alone... how romantic... just me and myself... bought a book, A Leap of Love... in short, the movie Leap Years in text... it's not the subtitle of the movie, but the whole story... well, the start was a little crazy... a Singapore production, why is there so much big words and complex description in the first chapter? my english is not bad, but the book's english was too good... come on man... what's with the big words when Singaporeans ain't that smart? how many of us would understand what in the blue hell is happening in the start of the story? well, i got to piece together all the words that i understand to infer the starting... i took me so long to read a page of the book... reason 1, i'm a slow reader.. reason 2, i need to infer the whole thing... the people beside me at the bus stop should be wondering why am i so stupid... damn... i made myself look stupid while trying to read a damn book... haha...

Today was one hell of a day... dine at long john silver... damn... had a extremely bad experience... damn... i don't want to elaborate... i'm too lazy to blog already... i'm getting really tired... by the way, i'm typing this paragraph last... haha... how cool...


Society demands highly of an individual... the society shapes the identity of an individual... the individual loses self identity and become someone else... is this fair? well, this life time is only long enough to be yourself... don't let the world tell you what to be, tell the world what you want to be...


If you can have a superhuman power, what would it be? well, i wish to have a hell lot of courage... the courage to run into a flaming building to save my love ones... the courage to self-sacrifice in the process to save another... the courage to face death... the courage to pull a strong front at my saddest moment... i want the courage to face the death of a family member... damn... i want to be brave... i want the courage to be myself... i want the courage to face the world... i want the courage to tell you everything... haiz... guess it's just another wishful thinking...

WHHOOO!!! i had the best sleep of my life... i slept for 8 hours on a schooling day... haha... well, lucky for me that i slept up early, cause i needed to wake up early too... my uncle was hospitalised yesterday... at 3am, the hospital called saying that my uncle have breathing problems... my dad rushed down together with my auntie and cousin... so i had no transport in the morning... well, i expected myself to be late, but i ended up being the earliest to be there waiting for others... haha...


School was great... did recording... it was damn fun... the process was really exciting... did all the funny recording and all... after all the recording and selections, i 'chiong' editing... haha... also damn fun... i think i spent 1 hour or so on it... keep on cut, paste, cut, paste, remove pop, cut, paste... it's mad i tell you... i had like 10 Audacity windows opened... haha... end product was great.. well, i skipped a few pop cause i could not identify the exact locations... haha...


Today's a crazy day for me... haha... i started my day being reluctant to go home early after school... in the end, i wanted to go home badly... haha... before UT, i received a message from mama saying that she is going to the hospital with pappy to see my uncle... so the whole house is locked... and i had no keys to the house... so in short, i'm homeless... haha... i got some solutions from my dad... call bro, who is in camp or go to my grandpappy's place... in the end, my homeless state was removed when my bro said he would rush out of camp cause he's having an off day... dine out with W15H peeps and walked about Causeway Point... i did not gamble despite the massive temptation... haha... well, thanks everyone for keeping me company while i was homeless... you people rock, but you don't win anything... haha... anyway, met bro an Yishun MRT and bus-ed home together... i know it sounds real gay, but it's brotherly love... not guy-to-guy love... haha... lucky for me, i did not pick the other option... cause my grandpappy headed down to the hospital soon after i met my brother... haha... how exciting... must be the beef... i think the Buddha got smarter... instead of blessing me with Holy Pee, s/he decided to bless me with misfortune... haha... guess it will never be a good time to gamble until i become a vegetarian... haha...

Sick lah... i'm sick in the mind... my brain suddenly turn retarded and lost control of my mucus making machine in my nose... it's as if my nose had poor bladder control... man... i needed to work and my mind was trying its best to go "Stand By"... during the less busy time, Joyce was happily playing my PSP... the battery went two bars down man... that's how much she played... damn... anyway, i was trying to sleep most of the time... and then a bunch of fools come by and i need to wake up to entertain them... what's worst is that i ask Joyce to wake me up when people are here, but she did not... lucky for me i had sensitive ears... i wake up the moment i hear people talking in front of me... haha... and for the times where i was busy sleeping of at the New Media station, nobody dare approach... even after i woke up when i notice people around, they would avoid me... damn... is my nose that red? blame the colour of my nose on the tissues... i finished 6 packets of tisses... it's mad i tell you... anyway, when i was really free, without my PSP, i had a little chat with Saravanan... he was doing some duties with his SA Tan... damn.. he got a terrible job... give out goodie bags... haha... what a loser... anyway, had a great chat with him about life, modules and his all time favourite, BlackBatman... haha... it's nice to catch up with old friends once in a while... haha...


Damn.. i really need to get some good sleep... where can i buy it? haiz...i guess i'll try my best to sleep by 10pm... i really need all the rest i can get... i have enough of drugs... i don't want to rely on them too much... i don't want to be a drug addict... and i'm sick of telling people that i'm tired... and i know people are sick of me telling them that i'm tired... haiz... well, hope i can stick to my words...

Sick.. i overslept for 6 minutes this morning... it's a bad sign of fatigue... haiz... weeks of bad sleep is falling on me now... sian... i guess i'm going to fall sick soon... haha... time to cheat death again...


I'm suffering in class now... how exciting... the problem is so dry... we don't get to make stuff... but we still get to smoke our way through... haha... lets see how i smoke later with a tired mind... haha... after school still have the preparation for tomorrow's open house... sian...


Many hours passing in progress...


Alright, i'm back in a flash... the time now is 10.21pm and the skies are pretty clear... whatever that means man... haha... anyway, i'm done with watching Jumper, dinner and half-way through my little work out preparation for tomorrow... cannot blame man.. tomorrow no gym for me... i need to find other means to mantain my constantly degrading body... haha... well, the preparation in school was fine... met some cool facilitators who shared the same dream as me when he was younger... haha... saw some really cool Year 3s... the talk to the facilitators and treat them as if they were all best friends... that's the kind of relationship i want to have with my teachers... it's always respect, respect and more respect... i just can't pull myself out of the traditional ways of viewing a senior... haiz... blame it on upbringing.. and the Buddha... don't ask why did i invole the Buddha... i haven't think of a reason yet...


Damn sian... i've been doing nothing but losing... be it games, Toto and Scratch n' Winstuff... one thing to clarify, i'm not gambling anymore... i don't want to be a father of 5 who drinks everyday and beat my wiveswife... anyway, i hate losing... it's not fun and it's boring... haiz... can't wait for the days where i become a winner again... haha...


Tomorrow is one hell of an exciting day... haha... 6 people handling 1200 people... haha... how much more exciting is my life going to become? well, at least i'm mentally prepared.. to show my middle finger at the little bastards... haha... anyway, i'm expecting tomorrow to be a fun day... fun with stress... haha... anyway, anyone free at any moment, please come and visit me at E2... and if you see me busy with some little idiot, just come over and tell that little idiot to FUCK OFF!!!


Alright... time to get myself a little mental rest and make myself a winner... haha... have fun tomorrow doing whatever you are doing... and if you have nothing to do, then have fun doing nothing... haha... goodnight...

Damn sleepy... haiz... did not have a wonderful sleep last night... i hate SBS... they fucking make people wait 20 minutes for a freaking bus... i joined the queeue as person number 20+... the queeue grew till about 70+ people... and finally a single deck bus came... fuck up lah... SBS have no brains to think... the freaking queeue is freaking long and they send a freaking single deck bus to stuff a freaking lot of people in... fuck man... i want to move house... i want to go to a 5 room HDB in walking distance from the MRT... i want a gym nearby... i want a hot neighbour... haha...


I seriously need to sleep early... if not tomorrow's Creative Concept is going to be not so creative... haha...

Sian... monday is just hours away... haha... and UT is just more hours away... damn sian... no work, no money... how to buy DSLR? how to shop? how to live in a society that runs on money? haiz...


Today was a great day, with a great dinner... damn power... ate a hell lot of good food... fried chicken, satay, otah, bee hoon, curry, etc.... haha... damn power... just keep on eating only... haha... and immediately after eat, KO!!! instant knock out... haha... sleep until damn 'shiok'... now that i'm awake, i feel like crap... i don't know why... like very lazy and in a rare half awake mood... i've been cheating my sister to do stuff for me the whole time... haha... haiz... guess i just need more sleep... hopefully this feeling is not carried forward to tomorrow... i don't want my crappy mood to make people's day crappy... haha...

WHHOOO!!! finally had a good sleep... more than 6-7 hours at least... well, to be exact, i slept for 9 hours... haha... i'm so happy... haha... anyway,woke up in the morning to go Doby Ghout for Ironman!!! headed down earlier to grab the tickets... Jerry, Raphael, Nerissa and me... Chan is really late... we are still waiting for him to turn up... i think he caught Charlene's late virus... haha... well, the show was pretty ok... not much of an action show.. CAUSE THERE WAS VERY LITTLE ACTION!!! mainly the start of Ironman... too much comedy... it spoils the action movie idea... haha... well, the next show should be better... haha...


After the movie, we went for a little lunch even though our stomachs where full of pop corn and drinks... we had to satisfy the "3 meals" criteria... haha... i headed to Bishan for a hearty gym session, but i was too full and my stomach felt funny... i was very sleepy too... haha... i don't really feel much on my chest, but my triceps had a good work out... it's bigger now... haha...


After gym, headed down to grandma's place for a general Mother's Day celebration... there was a hell lot of food man... i ate 4 chicken wings... damn... it's so nice lor... i could have eaten 8 at least, but i decided that that would be a selfish act... so i sticked to my 4 piece... haha... PSP the whole time and defeated Gold Rathian on my own... haha... damn happy...


I'm hoping for another early night... haha... goodnight...

TGIF!!! THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!!! and DGFIJTDAFF!!! DAMN GOD FRIDAY IS JUST THREE DAYS AWAY FROM FRIDAY!!! haha... this sucks man... the weekends are here!! but it's ending soon... anyway, on the brighter side, i'll be watching Ironman with W15H boys tomorrow!!! haha... finally man.. a guys bonding... haha... no girls to boss us about... haha...


School was fine... pretty fun actually... i finally won the Duo Tigerex with Gary... haha... as for presentation, we did a skit... everything was fun, especially "Go play with yourself"... haha... i said that by accident... haha... but at least it makes things fun... haha...


Went for the STA briefing with Joyce... Gary is damn unlucky... handphone no battery, laptop cannot charge when he repaired it a week ago... his $120 earphones that he bought last week broke... now he lost his Pikachu DS stylst... haha... damn sad... anyway, home with the both of them... one go work, one go fix lappy and one go home... haha...


Well, i'm really tired now... so goodnight... i'll go play a little more before i sleep... haha...

Ha... from a D to an A for history... i knew the faci felt guilty for giving me a D the last week... chances are that she had to give everyone an A for the grading mistake last week... haha...


Class was fine... did photo taking again... haha... and i finally used Photoshop for work!!! haha... i've learnt something new again... haha... well, i've been inspired to be Ironmando photography as a hobby... after all the inspiring talks and lessons with Jason Yap, i want to do photograph... now i'm tempted to get myself a DSLR to enchance my photograph skills... damn... sometimes i just wish i'm live a life as lucky as Jason's... pick up SLR, do last minute photograph that looks so perfect and all the lucky things that happened in his life... damn... i think i'll study really hard now and probably, i can get myself some sponsors to pay half of it... haha... it's not going to be easy, but i'll make it...


Went dinner with W15H peeps... forgot that Jasmin eats fries without salt... you know why i forgot? it's because we've not been to MacDonalds for a hell long time now... so i have my excusereasons... don't anyhow scold me... haha... at beef at Mac... and after that, i found some skin torn off my right wrist... damn, the Buddha must have really hated me... haha...


Before dinner, Jasmin, Charlene and Jerry went to buy Toto... damn... while in the queeue, i was tempted to buy too... well, there is this strange thrill... but i guess the thrill is short lived... but sadly, i've just got infomation that my winning numbers did not win me any 3 million dollars... haha... well, next time i'll give winning numbers only... well, that's if i ever gamble again... i've promise myself to never gamble again during CNY, i better keep to this promise this time... haha...


Ha.. i know why i'm single for the past 18 years... the only cause is CHAIN MAILS!!! all the love love ones... "Send this to 15 people in the next 15 minutes and you'll receive a call tomorrow at approx. 1.24pm ... If you fail to do so, you'll face relationship problems for years", what kind of shit man... i've been deleting such things for the past 4 years or so... haha... how lucky can i get... well, love is more than just a bunch of chain letters... love is the emotion that brightens your life in the darkest moment... well, i don't know about myself... how to define love? haha...


I guess i seriously need to rest early today... gotta catch on my rest... well, i slept earlier yesterday... i slept 10 minutes earlier than then time that i've been sleeping at... haha... as for today, i'll need to sleep even earlier... haha... power lah...

WHHOOO!!! another tiring day for me... cause it's SHOPPING DAY!!! damn... i've been spending a hell lot... i need self control... someone please tie my limbs up, lock me up in a room and throw away the keys!! please stop me from shopping!! i can't believe i used to be a super thrifty in the past... now, i'm nothing but a shopping monster!!! AAHHH!!! anyway, spent over $100 for a tee and 2 berms... haha... lucky for me, there is no inflation of price on clothes... haha... if not i'll be jailed for killing the ministersbegging along Orchard Road to fuel my evil habits... damn...


I've managed to make someone a happier person today... and that happy someone happens to be my mama!!! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY IN ADVANCE!!! well, while shopping, i got her a perfume... i initiated the idea cause looking at everyone around me, they have something for their mama... and my mama? she had not gotten anything from us for almost 10 years now... haha... well, after kindergarten, nothing nice came from any of the 3 useless kids my mum had... my mama only got stuff when i was in kindergarten because i was forced to make stuff for mother's day in school... well, my brother liked the smell, my sister liked the smell, my dad liked the smell and i'm pretty fine with it... anyway, thanks Jasmin and Tricia for the help... you girls don't win anything... i actually want to give the perfume to my mama in front of all my aunties this saturday at the general mother's day celebration at my grandmama's place... i want to make them all jealous... haha... but i guess when they smell my mama, she will go show off a little and make them jealous... haha...


Gym before shopping was great... really got a good stretch for my shoulders and back... well, it's not getting any bigger... haiz... lets just hope it aches tomorrow... at least show me a sign of result...


Man.. i really need to rest early tonight... i've been feeling so tired lately... even the people around me are complaining about me repeating the "Wah.. i'm so tired" line... haiz... i must stop my own misery... haha... well, hope i can keep my own promise... haha...

Damn.. i think i'm sick... not just sick in the mind, but in the heart, body and soul too... haha... i ought to be dead right now... haha... i've been escaping death like nobody business... haha... i've been on the verge of falling sick pretty often nowadays... but i've also been doing everything to suppress this sickness from surfacing... damn... and for some strange reason, i fell really ill in class today... i was merely watching my Epic Movie innocently at one corner, and i suddenly fall sick... damn... i felt feverish and my nose turned into a mucus tap... it's mad i tell you... haha... at least i got this problem fixed... took some pills and took a little nap before waking up to watch Chuck and Larry... haha...


No tuition for me today... went all over to Kim's place.. and i fell asleep... haha... in the end no tuition for Joan... after all, her exams are over... so i spent my time sleeping there... haha...

Damn.. the base of the inside of my bottle is breaking apart... it's damn scary... there are this little yellow piece of plastic lookalike entering my mouth... shit man... i wonder how much of those have i swallowed already... haha... i guess i'll need a new bottle real soon if not i'm going to continue swallowing all this shit till i die or get genetically mutated into some good-for-nothing beggar outside Bishan MRT... damn... i need to go make some changes to my life... haha...


Waiting for UT now... how exciting... no reference to study from... no guidelines to follow... haha... well, the first is alway terrible... it's called the "testing" of the test... haha... well, wish me a hell lot of luck... cause i'll be needing it to do very well... haha...


Haiz... for a moment, i feel like giving up on my commitments for awhile... there is so little time for rest and i'm falling sick... haiz... i wonder when will i have time for myself again...

Do you ever have the feeling of jump down the train track when the train is coming? or climbing out of the window of a 13 floor building? damn... i must be crazy to have such thoughts... and i think i'm really crazy... it's not the suicidal thoughts that i have when such feeling comes... everytime when such things happens, there is a sudden surge of pleasure in my mind and i feel free... but despite the great feeling, i always control myself... this had been with me for quite a long time already... everytime the train past right in front of me and the wind blows me back, i experience such pleasure... and when i look down from my grandma's house, i experience such pleasure too... haha... strangely enough, it happens when i'm happy or sad... no exact mood when i have such feeling... haha... well, don't worry about me... i will not let anything happen to myself... i have a long and successful life ahead... no point worrying about me... haha...


Damn... PP scope was rejected... adviser say too vague... and she recommended me to do something media related... but too bad for me, i can't find anything for advertising companies... so i decided to comtinue with my photography company... did a quick change and sent it back to her... hopefully it can pass this time...


Hunger strikes... i'm growing.. fat!!! haha... guess it's time for another puberty... WHHOOO!!!

Ha.. i feel so much lighter now... my life is taking another turn for the better!! haha... with all the load off my shoulders, i think i can fly when frogs come after me... haha... damn... sent my PP scope draft to my adviser this morning... no reply till now... well, that's not my problem now... haha... today is the last day of work for the week... and i just got my small-sum-of-money pay which will eventually make me rich in the future... haha... well, now i'm more relax... i have more breathing space... and i'm happy... time to share my happiness... haha...


Gym was great... my shoulders have turned bigger than what i saw this morning... my arms looked bigger... my packs on my belly had became more visible... there is a little ache in my chest... haha... but still no size difference... for a moment, i was considering on getting professional help or cheat consumables such as protein shake or weight gainer to assist my growth... but on second thoughts, maybe not... all this stuff are not cheap... haha... well, i got to find another solution... haha...


Working was fine... Ben substitute me after 2 hours of stressful order taking... i hate the new side order system... i can't use my skills to the fullest... so disruptive... anyway, i did running and i suck at it... i've spent so much time doing order taking that my running skills are down... i can't even carry 3 plates of ribeye... others still can, but ribeye has this brown sauce which will spill any moment... damn... i think i do better with the washing... haha... but my job opportunity is stolen by a China guy... haiz... well, got to upgrade myself a little... haha...


For some strange reason, i'm enjoying death metal music... haha... man.. one day i'm going to have my nails painted black, grpw some long hair, tattoo myself all over, growl like a dog and eat strepsils as a past time... haha...

First of all, i want to start this with a happy laughter!! WHAHAHAHAHA!!! for some super good strange reason, i feel much lighter and happier today!!! haha... i'm so happy i can sing a song that will kill the crows... haha... i'll make you air-cons spoil and run away... haha...


I can't believe i'm so stupid... i mixed up the UT dates and made myself stressed... worst still, i studied for the wrong UT... haha... and i panicked because i could not find my 6Ps... haha... lucky i had Jasmin to talk my worries out and help me find a solution... thank man...


I want to settle my PP once and for all tomorrow(technically today)... just go spam my adviser and all... haha...


I'm going nuts!! i'm so happy that i'm happy!!! haha... i'm going to do some crazy stuff!! haha... what crazy stuff? i still don't know, but let time do the talking... haha... i knew i did not need the Buddha's blessing...

I'm on the verge of give up on myself... but i'm holding on... i don't want to fall just yet... i must fight on...


Work was fine... i'm really tired though... Botak Jones had a new menu... and it takes effect from today... i ended up becoming the order taker for dinner to introduce the change to the customers... the new change is so unnecessary... it brings about so much more trouble... haiz... what to do, i'm just a part timer... i have to follow...


Haiz... UT tomorrow... i can't fail... i must not fail... i can't afford to get another 'D'... the stress is on...


Haiz... i really need a rest... i won't be working at Botak Jones next week... hopefully there won't be too much changes...


My blog is getting boring... you can prepare to stop reading it soon...

Haiz.. the pressure is still pressing on... there can never be one big problem... problems come like bees... when you kill one, other's come, be it big or small... this life is getting a little too exciting for me... i'm falling more than i'm climbing... it's really tough... i must pull through... i won't let myself lose to the world and myself...


I'm badly traumatised over the 'D' grade... damn... i really can't bring myself to acceptance... it's too low for someone who stayed in class throughout... i know my presentation was bad, at least i tried my best from zero point... i really don't deserve that bad grade... i've put in so much effort into the work and this is what i get? where is the meritocracy the government promotes? reward the hardworking... i don't believe in this anymore... this is getting out of hand... a confrontation is necessary... but what will change? the 'D' is already in the system... haiz... i really hope the faci don't have a bad impression of me... haiz... life is so rough now...


Went gyming today... finally had the chance... but it was terrible... i'm no longer growing... my body keeps shrinking... even my last semester friend say i'm sagging... it's mad i tell you... i think i'm under some bad blessing... it seems that i'm shrinking every semester... i'm the biggest at semester 1... and now, haiz... i don't want to elaborate there... my body seems to have stopped growing... no matter how much i pump, the size is fixed... i was considering on getting weight gainer... but i'm ver afraid the weight goes to the wrong parts of my body... i want all the weight to go to my chest, shoulders and arms only... if my legs were to get big, i'm a deep shit man... i don't want to have big and hard legs... i'm satisfied with my current legs... haiz... FOS man...
*FOS = Full Of Shit

Dropped by Somerset to buy myself a proper wallet before heading down to Bugis to meet Jasmin and Tricia to discuss PP stuff... haiz... another stress factor... i'm planning to work on a photography company... at least it's quite related to the stuff i'm doing now and i'm pretty much interested in that... haha... got a list of potential victimstargets for my PP now... 5 in the list... now to work on the scope... haha... gotta finish it all as soon as possible... scope submission is next Wednesday... this sucks man...

Had some beer battered fish & chip... nothing amazing... just that the fish had a little beer smell when it's in you mouth... the smell was really annoying... i'm not a fan of beer... damn... had a challenging time finishing it... haha...