Wednesday, October 7, 2009
sandwich....
once again... i was being forced to be sandwich by J.
I don't know what to do and I can't get anyone to help me since, I myself can't help myself.
I love this job... I love doing what I like. But he was like 'forcing' me. I have to make decision fast.
Am I really fated to be a slave of his? can I really break through from this fate and destiny?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
its been awhile
It has been almost 3 weeks from the day Shengyao had passed away.
Everyone of us are trying to lead back to our normal life. But whenever I thought of him, somehow.. it still pains me in my heart. I still couldn't believe it deep in my heart. I refused to read on those newspaper articles that was published last week about the incident. I want to forget it, but it still float in my mind.
Today, is our FYP team meeting in vivian's house. Sheryl was late for meeting and it was raining heavily outside. She told me she is riding her friend's car to come. But it worries me even more. Raining, didn't pick up call, in a car. Negative thoughts came to me. I became paranoid out of sudden, I just keep on trying to reach her out. Until finally, She replied her sms to Vinson. I had finally make a peace in my mind.
Maybe I am over paranoid over losing friends. I hope this won't come anymore....
Shengyao, he is always a boy gaves me advice and hope, even he is gone, he never fail to give me one too. Always treasure people around you and lead your life well.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Sending off a good friend
wearing a black top, bringing myself to go to the place where I am not suppose to attend, mandai crematorium.
The environment is intense, grieve, sadness, all kind of words that you can describe in that place. All of us are waiting for him to arrive, for us to send him to his final journey.
The moment he raised, all his friends and family members, relatives, burst out crying, hoping this is not true, it is just a nightmare that everyone has. But... a hope is still a hope, we can't change the fact.
Before his sending off, we took a tour to look at him for the last time, seeing his pale face with those stitches on his face, cause my heart pain. And telling myself, this shouldn't be the case, this is not he suppose to end up in. Even until now, I or we, still can't believe this happening.
Even after their death, the public still scolding them for their stupidity. But why! who are they to judge their cause of death? are they GOD?! NO! No one can judge!
Friday, August 7, 2009
a sudden phone call....
Nadia:" Damien, are you free now?"
Damien:"mm..ya? what is it?"
Nadia:"I got something to tell you..."
Damien:"mm?"
Nadia:"Shengyao... pass away already, along with his girlfriend while taking the monorail to malaysia this morning."
Why do such a joke has to come to us, I would rather it is just a prank news. Why such a boy filled with passion and future has to die..
I remembered those days, we had our fun time together playing dota after school. His curiosity brings us together like brothers.
Recently, seeing him in train sitting with her girlfriend holding their hands together listening to one mp3 with their eyes closing, it is such a peaceful picture that had created, even I feel happy for them.
And now... they are killed by train... this is such unpleasant moment! WHY FATE HAD TO END THEIR LIFE!! WHY WHY WHY!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
YAH! FYP OVER!
YYYAAHHH! FYP OVERRR!!!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Master of None.
It's been awhile...
Suddenly feel like writing....
All the while in my life in RP, I thought I am someone will be able to create a name for myself by going into game industry and works on my dream as a game designer. But when I look at all my friends whom are around my age, they already get what they want in life, be it family, career, they had already fulfill part of they achievement in life. But what about me? what am I still doing in a polytechnic, even if I compared myself to younger people, I know nuts about designing. There are so many people who re stronger than I am. I felt 'defeated' in some sense.
Now... I suspected myself getting some unknown illness, but seems like no one is believing it. I have to hide everything under my sleeve. Another reason is, I have to keep it away from my mom and prevent her from worrying about me. I am suppose to take care of her in future, not giving her anymore burden. I wish to have a longer life to protect her till the end. And I hope it is something not so serious and ease my worries.
I am just a master of none, as compared to people around my age. They have talent, charisma, popularity. I am just a zero, no recognition, no encouragement. I started to lose hope in alot of thing. But I hope to do things which won't make me to go regret when I am going to die.
Although I am master of none, but I will try to do my best to fulfil my dream and move on with life.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
work on whiteboard
Well... don't know what is this..
looks like a frog, a dinosaur or even a monster.