Schooling is about to start soon... sometimes i feel that what i'm doing now is not something that i really want to do... but to be honest, i don't really have any idea of what i want to do... i just enjoy everything i do... haiz... now my only worry is YCKSB... i really want to see them smile when they are awarded the gold award... that is my only dream now... some things are just not meant to be repeated... now i don't really know how it would feel like to win a gold award... althought SSW had once won a gold award in the NBC, i still don't feel happy or proud about it... i think i've really lost the feeling of success... whenever i think of the SYF and try to imagine myself getting the gold award, i always end up relating the situation with the bitter taste of failure... haiz... looks like this memory is one that i will never forget for a long time... its been 2 years and i can still feel the torturous pain in myself... i believe i've not been fully recovered from the event...

Anyway, just as additional infomation... i've broken my record of mapling... yesterday i played for 11 hours... with a long break in between... i don't really know how i did that... but it happened... i think its kind of freaky that i had done such a thing... damn... i must go back to typing music soon... so i'll play twice a week and not everyday...

I'm beginning to learn what is the defination of a friend... there are 2 people in my life which i can really call them a true friend... one is a primary school friend... i'm still in contact with him via msn till today... through some lie i've told him i can tell he is really my friend... the other is a guy i met in YCKSB... this guy is a really nice guy... i can tell... he is someone which is totally different from me... but we get along well... i don't really know how to express my feelings but these are the people that i can rely on when times are bad...

One more thing to blog about... there is this korean boy in band class... one of my cousin's friend... i call him 'korean boy' because i did not bother to learn his name... anyway, this guy is really interesting... he had stayed in singapore for so long but he know very little survival skills in the public... i went to eat luch with my cousin and the korean kid today... they had their meal and had no money on them... i bought my food from a noodle store... then i decided that i'll be wasting their time if i had asked them along so i decided to give them a treat to a drink each... i gave the korean boy some cash and asked him to get drinks for everyone... to my surprise, he when to the noodle store to order the drinks... damn funny lor... this korean kid is very innocent he believes everything people says... and now he is trying to be like me... and that is something bad... cause i believe everyone is special and there is no point being someone when there is only one of you...so korean kid, please be yourself...

And to all my primary/secondary school frineds and family, i'm still single... stop asking me why...

You might wanna check this link... you might find someone familiar...

http://www.gibson.com/allaccessv2/erblogs/Singapore/

Don't think i only know how to maple only... i've done something new and i quite like it... i arranged a piano score into a clarinet quartet... Hungrian Dance No. 5 in F# minor... the best part is that it only took me 6hrs to do up the whole piece... including transposing it... the worst part is the bass clef... don't know how people read one... i must keep on counting... anyway... i tried it out in yck and everyone enjoyed it... the 1st and 2nd clarinet were happily tongueing away at a tempo near 170... haha... all covered in sweat at the end of the day... lucky i playing 4th then... at least now the clarinet section has something more to play for ensemble... i'll be trying to make it into a wind ensemble... but need to get professional help... if not its gonna sound like crap... i'll do the turkish march for now... yishan likes the piece so i'll give it a shot...

Have anyone dreamt of trying out a new instrument? if i had a chance, i'll play the bassoon... i love the sound... damn unique... very beautiful tone... good night world...

Haha... i'm so happy... my bro had just been enlisted into the army today... i went to Pulau Teknog to see him off... army's life seems like a holiday... the food is great... the rooms are nice and the mattress is comfortable... life is getting better... there is even air-con in their recreation room... but the toilets still have no doors... that is damn gay... but i'll be there in 3 years time... so no point complaining...

Joining the army looks really interesting... i can't wait to join the SAF... the activities looks damn fun... anyway, just in case you are courious, here are some gifts i got from the visit...


This is where tax payers money go to... that includes your parents...


Here is the food that everyone ate...


My bro introducing his school and company...


And here is everyone who failed their NAFAA test... that includes my bro...

Anyway just a friendly reminder to all the guys who is attending NS... DON'T DROP YOUR SOAP WHILE SHOWERING... this is because your friends might bang your ass when you bend down to pick your soap... haha...

Haiz... had a long day today... woke up early to play badminton... 10 to 1... killer sport... especially when the last time i played badminton seriously was early last year... my arm is aching... and my butt had just begin to ache...

Finally get to eat the famous mince pork noodles behind my secondary school... damn nice... the next thing i plan to eat next is pineapple tarts... too bad CNY is over... i'll still find a way to get them... i'll hunt for it...

Time is fading quick... there is so much to do and so little time... couple of weeks more before my brain has to function again... haiz... can't wait to meet new people and do new things...

After waiting a fucking 22hrs for the computer, nothing works on the com... i feel like slamming the com or something violent... after the long wait, maple can't work... the auto patch is not working... the manual patch takes more than 5hrs to download... this is the kind of life i'm geting now... i'm damn fucked up... i hate this world... when i'm at my peak, everyone needs help from me... when i need help, everyone just vanish... this is what i've been facing in my secondary school life... i hope this will not repeat...

Enough of valgarities... i went to join RP's band practise yesterday... the people there are really nice... i really like the people... but there is one factor that had made me feel turned off... not gonna comment on that... now i'm on a fine line between join the band or not... i want to try something new in poly... a new CCA... some sport i guess... i'm considering rugby... i really need to vent the anger that i've had been holding onto for the past 17 years... it just need to come out somehow... or i'll die one day...

I'm living a very dull life now... a relative of mine might be leaving this world soon... i really hope not... i feel bad while reflecting on my childhood days... the way i treated him... i damn sorry...

Rare occasion for me to blog... had stopped mapling early today to download some music... beautiful pieces... james barnes symphonies rocks... i love them... anyway, i've been mapling alot these few days... leveled damn fast... leveled 26 times in 4 days... i think i'm a maple freak... try my very best to get out of this unnessary addiction... schooling will start soon... my brains gonna have to work again...

Well, life goes on... whatever set backs there are... just laugh it off... the usual me... my friends told me that i have changed... they say i am more matured... something must be really wrong... i wish i was back schooling with my friends... i had little exposure to the society that i see myself changing... i'm becoming nicer(except towards Marcus[some moronic junior]) ... and that is not the way i want it to be... i wish i am my old self again... so much had happened yet i was busy mapling...

I feel so weak on the inside... i don't know why... my life is imbalance... i feel like crying but just can't find a reason to cry... i feel that my life is experiencing a constant deceleration... coming to a stop soon... damn... its a feeling so complex that i can't put it to words... whatever that comes, i'll just have to accept it... i think my life will be better as a loner...