Why am i so different? why do i hav so much chemical activities in my stomach... irregular meals? maybe... but i am trying my best... onli problem is tt i dont hav the cash... i spent 2 much on ticket money... i had not contacted my promary sch friends 4 quite sometime already... now suddenly ask them 2 buy ticket, i feel abit funny... then plus sch, i dont hav the time 2 meet up with them... now i hav 2 pay 4 them 1st n mail them the tickets...

Why is there the feeling for revenge inside of me... i noe some matters is almost a worldwide anger... over some SHITTING problems... another 1 is abt the same thing...

Why is there rage in me? sometimes i get so angry 4 nothing... my angry feelings tt i had bottled up 4 years juz rush up into my head... making me feel angry 4 nothing...

Then somtimes i feel very violent 4 nothing... juz feel like beating some1 up... donno why... but all i can do is control myself... at tt hour, i juz get provoked very easily... really donno why... this is really not me...

Now oso donno why i hav a strong urge 2 study n pay attention in class... i joke less n sometimes even ignored YJ's jokes for studies... wad is happening 2 me? am i changing? if i am, then it is all happening 2 fast... i cant cope with the speed of change... this is really not me...

Sometimes i even feel isolated from the world... juz tt i dont hav the same feelings i used 2 share with my friends... it is all turning weaker... the bond between us... i tink it is juz me... i am beginning 2 tink alot lately... dont worry, no sucide thoughts... i juz feel troubled... inside n outside... haiz...

donno y i got this bad habit... somethimes i speak in a very crude manner... 2day i had english oral... something things... haha... i was shocked when i realised tt the picture was taken from my primary sch... the shirt, the sch motto, the sch logo n the sch hall in the foreground... haha... it was stupid... cant believe PCPS is so known 2 public... anyway, back to story... during the conversation with the teacher, my crude language habit was forcing its way into me... i tried 2 hold back...

Mr Lee: "Why do u tink ppl r afraid of snakes?"

(wad i said)
Sam: "I believe tt ppl r afraid of snakes bcoz they r a unique group of repitiles. Snakes do not hav any legs n they glide, making them different from other repitiles. N in the media industry, snakes tt r shown on tv r commonly shown when it is attacking. I believe tt after ppl had been widely exposed 2 such scenes, ppl might tink tt snakes r vey aggressive animals."


(wad i ALMOST said)
Sam: "I believe tt ppl r afraid of snakes bcoz they r a unique group of repitlies. Snakes do not hav any legs n they glide, make them different from other repitiles. N in the media industry n other wad-so-ever nonsense, snakes tt r shown on tv r commonly shown when it is attacking. I believe tt after ppl had been widely exposed 2 such scenes, ppl might tink tt snakes r very aggressive animals."

Mr Lee: "Very good observation."

Haha... lucky i controlled myself... almost spit it out... i already said "other wa..." then i stopped... damn lucky... n the best tink abt the oral was tt when i was preparing 4 the oral test, the hot literature trainee teacher was giving another class oral exam behind me... WAH!!! the sight of makes me high... everytime i read 1 paragraph i turned back n take a look at her... WOOH! damn i knew tt i had passed the oral test b4 i had taken it!!!

Haha... i almost died again... i was jaywalking was corssing the 2 reach the estate my hse was in... it was pretty dark back then... mayb not tt dark, but it was dark enough 4 a taxi 2 be hidden... anyway, i jaywalk across this road everyday... for 5 years already... so far hav not been knocked down yet... onli ALMOST got hit b4... but who cares anyway, as long as i am still walking, i will jaywalk tt road everyday till the day i really get knocked n become crippled or something... Ok... back 2 story, i waited 4 the road 2 clear which was impossible... drivers juz like 2 speed along tt road, i donno why the hell the is no accident yet... anyway, the road will always be busy with speeding cars... i can never wait 4 the cars 2 stop coming or i'll never reach home... i waited 4 a long distance interval between 2 cars i i will juz take a breeze walk across the road... the sky was pretty dark n all the cars had their headlights turned on... well at least i noe they r coming n i wont make them criminals... n then came a damn taxi... hidden in the darkness... i donno why, but maybe it is juz me tt the taxi cant be seen... anyway, the next car with its headlights on was pretty far away so i decided 2 corss... little did i noe tt the was i taxi coming... when the taxi came nearer to me, the damn lousy driver turned on the headlights... WOW! MAGIC SHOW! A TAXI APPEARED IN FRONT OF ME! i dashed over 2 the opposite bus stop... haha... almost died... tt is juz an ALMOST... i cant die so easily... i hav a long life ahead of me... call me a god if u hav 2...

B4 my dying story, mr ng, my conductor listened 2 the sections playing ensembles... damn funny... my section was the 1st in the line... i grew nervous in front of the small group of ppl n my knee started shaking real bad... damn funny... the my body suddenly lose it cold resistance... i suddenly feel so cold... my fingers became jelly n my knee was shaking... damn fun... lucky i wore long pants... if not every1 would hav seen my knee shaking...

N b4 tt, i was having A. Maths lesson... not very interesting, later when the lesson ended, i asked siti if had she started doing the english compo... she bursted into a laughter 4 wad hell reason i donno... later she told me tt we onli need 2 do the scaffold n not the compo... damn, i was damn angry... the day b4 she told me tt the teacher asked us 2 go home n do the compo... i spent 2hrs writing tt 4 page compo... n had onli reached the climax... i was expecting the compo 2 be at least 6 to 8 pages in total... i had spent all my time doing the compo n now it is not required... even YJ said my compo was very well written when he hd onli read the 1st paragraph which was 1 page long... damn tt stupid old bitch... i am damn anrgy abt tt... i dont care... i will finish up the story n hand it in 2 the teacher when she wan us 2 do the compo... n i will take my revenge on her... how? i donno yet, but i will tink... i'll do wadever it takes... i'll make sure she cry again... this time u dont blame me...

AHhhhhhhhhhhh... Damn hurt... inside n outside... pain is all over me...

Firstly, My heart was broken by my injuried darling(read 23rd MAR post)... now i tink my darling is not happy... it cut my tongue while i was licking the reed... then everytime i lick the reed, the edge of the reed will fit perfectly into the cut... causing the 2 go deeper into the tongue... wad did i do 2 deserve this fate... i am very loyal 2 my 4 wives, including my baby clarinet... wad did i do exactly... or does my darling noe tt i hav been flirting outside n dont wan me 2 flirt anymore? hey... when did tt bad habit come back... i dont remember... i had not even dared 2 flirt... after the much trouble flirting had caused me... i hav learnt my lesson along time ago... this is 1 mistake i dont dare 2 repeat... putting myself into difficult spots r not my kind of game... quitting is the onli way out... mayb i will do it again... but not 4 now... when i donno, but will surface tt corrupted habit when i tink i am ready... but this time, failure is not an option... haha...

Damn... i am damn sad now... 2day during band practise, mr ng was talking abt something tt i cant remember wad it is... i was busy practising my fingerings 2 a set of running notes in Fifth Symphony... i kept on repeating those notes at an extreme speed... i hav worked tt set of notes for 4 days juz 2 get it rite... now i was enjoying the fruit of my labour... later i heard a sound of metal clashing... i thought it was normal as normally when i run on notes, i can hear the padding sound... very cute sound... anyway, i stopped 4 awhile 2 look abt in catch up with wad mr ng was saying... then tt was when i realised tt there is some black shit on my little finger... i ignored the shit n carried on practising the notes... while happily play the notes, i realised tt 1 of my keys r missing n i dont hav the running note feeling without it... i then went on 2 inspect my darling... i later realised tt 1 of the links of the key had came off... i felt ok then... i looked abt the floor looking 4 the little piece of plastic... anyway, i found a little piece of plastic on the floor n i picked it up... i compared it with wad my other key had... n realised tt the little plastic is the link of my key... damn... i told mr ng abt the damage when he was done talking n he asked me is tt key was important 4 the piece i am playing then... i told him tt i will b using the key quite often but i also tell him tt i will try my best 2 use the alternate fingering 4 tt note... so i played on with the piece, while trying 2 use the other fingering...i was quite impossible as i had memorised the fingerings 2 a long set of running notes n could not do otherwise... so i ignored the missing key n carried on using it... it was difficult as i am always playing the wrong note n i get very confuse when the wrong note is played...

now i feel pretty lost without the key... i hav 2 wait until sunday b4 my darling is healed... i feel damn sad... i feel like crying... i really need tt C# key... i miss it... i cant run without u... i can hold notes in a symphony... all i can do now is contribute 2 the section's intonation everytime the note is required... i really feel damn bad... i dont wanna use the other fingering... 2 weeks away from concert... i dont wanna practise everything all over again bcoz of 1 key... damn, i wanna cry soon... plz get well soon darling... i need u...

Haha... u might tink i am stupid after read this but honestly speaking, i am really stupid...

2day i had 2 do CIP(Crapping In Public)... it was real stupid... we were given a long talk n i was half asleep... my eyes could hardly open... my stomach was calling me angrily as i had skipped lunch 2 practise my ensemble... after the long talk, we were sent 2 Toa Payoh(donno how 2 spell)... damn... my childhood home... that was where i once studied... anyway, i was supposed 2 bring YJ 2 the Entertainment centre 2 look at sch gals... but i had a problem... i could not remember where it was... i walked blindly until we got lost... i then spilled the beans saying tt i could not remember where it was... anyway, we loitered alot without asking 4 donations... i suddenly grew very tired... my stomach did not allow me 2 continue without feeding it... at the same time, YJ had skipped his lunch 4 donno wad hell reason... so we decided 2 stop but at a Mac 2 feed our hungry stomach... we sat there eating 4 quite some time... later, i felt a little guilty 4 bring back an empty donation box... so i poured out all my coins... 2 my surprise, i had onli 25cents without tinking, i juz throw the coins in... HAHA... i hav done a good deed... i am nice... but the box still sound damn empty... got echo when u shake it... damn fun... anyway, i asked YJ 2 put his coins in also... he took all his 70cents worth of coins u toss it in... haha... now it sounded more occupied... haha... damn stupid... later we decided 2 take a walk... while holding the box in 1 hand, we ignored all potential donors... we juz walk aimlessly until we decided 2 do something abt the almost empty box... we took turns 2 ask passer-bys... but onli aunties... these r potential donors... with continueous failure, we keep on walking abt n till we find potential donors... anyway i managed 2 get a lady who dressed auntie 2 donate... she donated $1.20... we thanked her n decided 2 take a break till who knows when... anyway later i received a msg from a gay friend saying tt we must head back coz it is abt 2 rain... i meet up with my group again n headed back 4 sch... total YJ n i collected $2.15... haha... at least we got the heart not 2 return an empty donation box...

Anyway, juz 2 let u reader noe, the is a big black dog at my sch which walks on 2 legs... it wears a security uniform... n it likes 2 find trouble with the sh students... i am a regular victim... anyway, i hate it(the dog)...

Haha... the clarinets r performing 2 ensembles for this coming concert on the 8th of April... haha... i wan the stage 4 the clarinets... i wanna show the public tt the clarinets r the best... we playing 'Dance of the Balamb Fish' n another piece which title i am not sure of... 'Dance of the Balamb Fish' will be played by the section's Ps n APs... haha... we played well 4 the lunch time concert during the band camp n now we r noticed... haha... now we will hav the stage all 2 ourselves... 1st time 4 me... donno abt the rest... but who cares... the other piece which title i am not sure of will be played by the graduating ppl in the section... tt means Eileen, Vanessa, Michelle n I will be performing... haha... we planning 2 fill the whole hall with our sound... we will hypnotise the audience with our music...

Dont miss this chance 2 enjoy such great works of musics... plz msg me or leave a tag n i will update u on the details...

Yesterday, i suddenly got this bad feeling... i was very tired n hungry 4 no reason... i woke up at 8am n started my day with a plate of maggie noodles n 4 pieces of roti prata... wow... tt felt good, but was not enough... after the feast, i suddenly felt very tired n decided 2 take a morning nap bcoz the shos on tv was damn boring... i slept at abt 11am n onli found myself awake at 1pm... my family was leaving 4 my grandma's place... i packed my holiday homework n left the house... when we reached my grandma's place, i felt a familiar feeling in my stomach... i am hungry... without second thoughts, i ate a heavy lunch... making sure every inch of my stomach was filled... after eating, i went 2 watch some cooking show on tv... then again, i almost fell asleep... but my aunties arrived at my gradma's house... i noe tt it is not nice 2 sleep in front of guests therefore i tried 2 keep myself awake... it was hard, but i did it... with the help of my cousin... tt guy is very lazy n fat... he weighed 70kg at Primary 4... now he is Primary 6... taking PSLE this year... n till now, he still donno the importance of studying... he can juz go 2 the room n sleep when his tuition teacher came all the way from Jurong 2 teach tt little fat ass... damn lah... tt teacher is real good... i got an A for Chinese in PSLE under her guidiance... tt teacher is really good... he juz dont tresure her... this fat ass might be her 1st non A scorer 4 PSLE... he is gonna break her teaching record... wad a failure... i took advantage of this weak point n shoot him till he could not take it n he ran away... bloody coward... face the fact... u r smart but lazy... wad is the point... a leopard never change its spots... anyway, back 2 where i stopped... i later celerbrated tt fat ass' birthday n ate his chocolate cake... damn sweet... but good... the later in the day, i went 2 my maternal grandma's house... it is a long ride 2 Chua Chu Kang... so i slept... when we reached, i took out all my homework... but then i realised tt i need graph paper 4 all the homework... tt is bad... i dont hav any... without a second thought, tiredness overwhelmed my n i fell asleep again... onli waking up at 7pm 4 my dinner... then my stomach called again... my grandma cooked bee hoon... i took 2 very large serving... each with a height of abt 6 to 7cm growing out of the paper plate... damn good... filled my stomach 2 the brim... later, i headed back home, packed my bags n went 2 sleep again...

Haha... juz got back from hai ping's house... drank voka n red wine there... now still feeling high... ears n face red... cant walk straight n my whole body is tilting towards the left all the time... chest red n hands weak... feeling abit funny... quite intersting... never got this feeling b4... now typing also keep on pressing wrong keys... haha... can type long... many mistakes n gotta tink real hard 2 noe spelling 2 words... gonna try 2 keep my status low now... cannot let any1 noe... haha... tml still got lessons...

Haha... yesterday i received good news... my conductor said tt my section played well 4 the lunch time performance... i did not expect tt 2 happen... i was quite depress yesterday as i felt as though i had let my section down(read 14 march 2006 blog)... damn lah... i felt like crying a little coz i had a lot of guilt in me... apon hearing the news, i was on cloud nine... haha... even mr davis(foreign conductor) commented on it... he said tt when we were playin, there is a bird cuckoo-ing sound... haha... i really didnt expect so much 2 happen... i was still telling song lin over msn abt my mistake which spoiled the beautiful music played by my section... haha... honestly speaking, i tearing a little back then... i really feel very bad... anyway who cares abt the past... i juz gotta do wad song lin asked me 2 do... work harder 4 the future... my conductor wants us 2 play tt piece 4 the coming concert which is happening on the 8th of April... i u wan more details, juz leave a msg on the tag board n i will update u...

Good News No. 2:
My muscles r growing real fast... haha... now when i 'kake' my muscles, my left arm is abt the same size as my right arm's... now it looks more even... unlike the past... where i looked like some1 with an uneven arm growth... haha... but the difference still can be easily seen when my arms r relaxed... my left arm is definitely smaller when my arms r relaxed... n after yesterdays' armwrestling intensive with a bunch of guys, my muscles r aching really badly... haha... the pain is good but now my muscles r like jelly... soft soft 1... damn sissy... haha... now doing push-up intensive 2 harden it... i dont wanna b a sissy boy like xing xian, wei hao or wai keat(class gays)... i am not white... neither am i tan... i believe tt i am juz rite... juz rite 4 wad? i donno... mayb everything? haha... juz kidding... i am not tt perfect... anyway, now my arms r aching lesser... but again, i am still hungry... fats out there r waiting 2 become my muscles... i am like a fat conversion machine... all fats tt comes into me experience solidification... all harden... haha... cant believe i gained 8kg in less than 2 months... n i am not flabby anywhere... haha... juz a little perseverance, motivation n support from friends... n jobs' done...

Haha(evil laugh)!!! Band Camp is over n i dont hav 2 torture my stomach anymore... eating during the band camp is very shitty... it is as though i am in the prison... eating lousy food which can onli keep me alive for 30mins... the food's quality n quantity sux... wad the hell... i hav a very clean record(except for the chem lab shower thing)... y do i share the same fate as those useless idoitic beggers who r happily living of tax-payers... damn... anyway, i gotta face reality... there is another hundred ppl who r eating the same food as i am n they r not complaining... mayb they do but i juz dont hear them... anyway i survived through tt difficult time n i am gonna face it again in the future(army)...

My nightmare had came 2 reality... damn lah... i dreamt tt my section was playing the ensemble piece(Dance of the Balamb Fish) i got them in front of the band... n guess wad, i dreamt tt the section broke down in front of every1 due 2 lack of practise... i rush 2 sch early in the morning n worked out the hardest parts of the piece n made sure i could play every part of tt clarinet choir... damn, i spent the whole mrning working on it... we worked on it a little during sectionals...
n tt was not enough... i was playing 1st clarinet, which has all the melody n the onli 1 having melody... damn lah... i lost count of the rest bars i had n entered with uncertainty... damn lah i entered then vanessa entered... i thought i was worng so i stopped 2 listen... at the same time, vanessa was having the same thoughts as me... wad a coincidence... we stopped together... n due 2 the lack of practise, i did not noe where 2 enter... n the whole melody part juz died juz like tt... i feel really bad... if i did not insist on playing something so foreign 2 them, this would not hav happened... i hav let my section down... sorry gals...

I am now eating a bread sized of an A4 paper... it has cheese n pieces of lousy meat on it...

Haha... band camp is sucking my energy dry... but i enjoy it... anyway the third day of band camp had juz passed... tml is gonna b the late day of intensive practise... it is such a torture when it comes 2 lunch time... 2day we ate sagettie(wadever the spelling is)...it was not very pleasing... it tasted so bland n on quantity wise, it is not enough... even YJ n JX agreed... after the meal, i headed 4 the band room... apon entering the room, i started feeling hungry again... haha... i felt like shit as i had 2 live on water 4 the rest of the day... n things got worst when i suddenly feel like eating FRUIT CAKE in the middle of practise... hard 2 resist the temptation... i could hardly focus on the piece tt i was playing n i keep on playing wrong notes... damn... the smell of fruit cake filled my nose for every gulp of air i swallow 2 work my instrument... i suddenly thought of the crunchy fruits in the cake tt my mouth watered when i was playing on my instrument... my mouth was quickly filled with saliva n i had a hard time playing my intrument... gotta keep on swallowing if not my darling will pee all over the floor... damn it was hard... but i managed 2 live through those few hours... haha... I SURVIVED WITHOUT FOOD!!!!!

N i learned something new from the band camp... I AM GROWING!!!!!! the band T is getting smaller n tighter... n the sleeve of the shirt is pressing against my biceps... haha... i am growing stronger... my muscles r getting bigger... haha... now challanging YJ n JX arm-wrestling during lunch breaks... not bad... i can sustain 4 quite a long time n almost win a couple of times... haha...
then i did chin-ups in sch till my hands r getting blisters... No Pain, No Gain... n i managed 2 carry a tuba with juz one hand... haha... n i got a free injury on my finger... the tuba case's handle hooked onto my finger n ripped of its skin while i was putting it down in the bus... haha damn pain... but then again... No Pain, No Gain... u might think i am saddistic, but i like it... the pain feels good... everytime after i exercise, the pain in my arms feel good... at least i noe wad i am doing is taking effect...

Haha... 2day damn shit... firstly, my bro messaged me all the way from america... cant help but reply... then the teacher saw me using the phone... she wanted the conficate it, but lucky she give chance... thx TEO HH...

Then i had this class bonding soccer match... my team lose 2-4... haha... anyway it was a nice game...

Later in the afternoon, i spent my time sleeping in the band store... i was physically tired but mentally active... anyway i juz sleep...

In the early evening, i had a student-led-conference... my mum was so late tt she onli arrive when the speech was over... anyway nvm... haha... i did quite well 4 this test... onli fail 2 subjects, A. Maths n Humans... i knew i am gonna fail those 2 subjects so who cares... then my mum started her nagging again... asking me 2 put in more effort... then tell me 2 spend less time with the com when i onli give myself 1hr a day with it... of course i fought 4 my rights... then i continued 2 smile at her n keep on noding my head as though i heard everything... cant believe i missed A1 for Physics by 1 mark!!! anyway who is gonna care...

Good Night...

HAHA... 2day lots of thing happened... there r both good n bad things tt happened in this short 24hrs... let me share them with u in order of happenings...

FIRSTLY, 2 start this interesting day, i bought food juz b4 i went 4 assembly... the chicken meat was steaming hot n i could bearly eat it... every SMALL bite i take, i must push me tears back into its tear glands... the heat burns my mouth every second it remains in my mouth... but every bite i take, i feel like taking another... i juz went ahead 4 assembly despite not finishing my food... i was happily eating my chicken in the parade square tt 'tears of joy' was raining down my cheek... haha... i onli manage 2 finish 1 piece of chicken b4 assambly ended... i still hav 2 more waiting 2 be eaten... i then stuffed the hot meat into the side pocket of my bag n hope it would cool down b4 i reach my classroom... haha... it failed... while i sat in the classroom with an innocent face, my teacher left the class... with the scent of fried chicken meat filling the air, i could not resist myself anymore... i started feasting on the damn chicken meat... later YJ saw me eating n i shared it with him...

Next... i had chemistry practical 2day... it was fun but i could not identify the gases... damn stupid... i testes were not effective... i onli recognised the chlorine... by its smell... swimming pool smell... haha... n i broke my 1st test tube while heating the tube... haha... stupid rite... later, we were supposed 2 pack up the stuff n prepare 4 the next lesson... in the process, some tube could not be cleaned properly as the chemical had stained the inner walls of the test tube... we were then asked 2 put this test tubes into a tub n the lab assistant will clean it up 4 us... not the way 2 grab my bag... i was blocked by a friend... i used my elbow n gave him a gentle push n said crudely, "Get outta my way..." with tt light push, my friend lost his balance n grabbed the tub
n pulled it down with him...the test tubes in the tub came raining down onto the floor, scattering apon contact... the sound of smashing glass filled the lab quickly n the whole class' attention was on the both of us... lolx... damn funny... now i noe where my school fees r going 2...lolx...

Lastly, i had a stress relieveing fight after school in the band store... i hav this horny friend, Vimal, who likes 2 attack man's weak spot everytime he is attacked... at 1st, i carried him like a newly wed couple n brought him 2 the little balcony outside the door... i lifted him high enough 2 throw him down with a light push... i knew the dangers so i put him down... apon making contact with the floor, he gave a hard blow into my friend's manhood... my combat partner, YJ, was sentrolling on the floor screaming like a new born baby... i noe his pain n wanted 2 help him take revenge... i locked Viaml's arms 2gether with juz my hands n pinned him onto the ground, waiting 4 YJ 2 recover... once my friend was up n ready, we taught Viaml a painful lesson... we grabbed him by his ankles, each 1 holding onto 1 n lifted him upside-down... so high tt his hands had lost contact with the floor... we then shoke him mid-air... he was screaming 4 help but no1 seems 2 care... later we put him down n brought him into the band store...YJ n i threw him into an empty tuba cardboard n pinned the door close... we kept him in there 4 quite sometime... YJ n i then open the door n grabbed his legs again... we started torturing him by pintching his nipples real hard... Vimal screamed like a woman who is getting rape... YJ suddenly thought of an interesting idea, we put him under a chair... leaving 1 of the chair's leg between Vimal's legs... i sat on the chair n pinned his hands... YJ then grabbed both legs n constantly pull his manhood into the chair's leg... every pull sent an ear piercing scream across the room... haha... i noe this is sadist but it was fun... at least we taught him not 2 play with other guys manhood... haha... this torture session lasted abt 45mins... in this 45mins, we had 30 seconds breaks in between... total we had abt 7 breaks, mean 8 non-stop sex torture... haha... now he is so afraid of us... this is a life of a secondary 4 man... stressful, but fun...

Donno wad the hell is wrong with me... i always feel so tired lately... i am not sick am i? cant b rite... i hav been exercising regularly... i cant go around with my eyes half closed... my eyes r already small enough... i will look as though i am blind if i dont keep my eyes open at all times... i cant walk abt lifelessly like a zombie... i am human... i am fit... haiz... donno wad 2 do... juz hope i can find time 4 more sleep... 8hrs of sleep is often fulfilled... mayb i am juz stressed... haha... gonna enjoy my sleep dreaming of everything...

I donno wad 2 do... i am losing trust in my friends... the word 'friends' does not refer 2 everybody around me... it is juz this small group of friends.. donno how 2 explain lah... very complicated 1... these ppl r not from the 'foursome' or the second family thing... neither is it the ppl from the band... juz some other ppl... i donno lah... mayb i am juz childish... angry over small matters... wadever u readers wanna think of me... i dont care...

There is something near the com... keep on moving... already got sound... damn scary... n i am still typing... while standing trying 2 keep maximum distance away from the keyboard... gotta leave the come b4 it bites me or something...

Tml NAFA... Standing Broad Jump... i am gonna win jun xiang n chen chong... dont blink... i wont lose no matter wad happen... loing is not my game... survival of the fittest... i am the fittest... i wont lose... watch out...

My bro had left for New York this very morning... now i feel as though a part of me is missing... i feel bored at home... my sis will never entertain me as she is a gal n i am a guy... we dont hav much common topics 2 talk abt... any1 who noes where i can find fun plz let me noe... i really need this fun 4 the next 4 months... i cant stay at home... i will die...

Now tt my bro is gone, i had no1 2 rely on when i need help in terms of homework n daily needs... my sis will never hav a common interest such as comics or other stuff... my bro usually buy things tt i either want or need... i aways get 2 freeload over such stuff n i can save my money... now i freeloading habits hav 2 be put 2 a stop for 4 months... i bet my sis will learn 2 live on me soon... coz she uses some stuff tt my bro usually buy too... anyway now i am the big bro at home... must get use 2 the rapid changes quickly...

bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored

Donno wad 2 do... i tink my feelings r cheating on me...

i am really confuse... should i let go again?

i am such a coward... donno how 2 explain...

am i a flirt? am i desperate? i really donno...

wad am i doing 2 myself? wad had i done 2 the ppl around me?

abt time i wake up n face reality... i will onli hav friends... nothing more... is this really my life?