Two milestones

Just over a week ago, we were at church on a Sunday morning. Church had just ended. "Kids," I said, "We're going to a baptism."

"Can I get baptized?" Chickie asked.

Before I move on with the story, I'll explain what our family believes about baptism. We see baptism as a step that someone takes after they've decided to give their life to Jesus. (That's a decision Chickie made a long time ago.) By being immersed fully in the water, and then lifted back out of the water, the person being baptized is symbolizing Jesus' death and resurrection. It is also a symbol of that Christian's "new life" in Christ. Baptism is a way to tell others, "I am a Christian."

We want our kids to make faith decisions themselves, without ever feeling coerced. And we want to make sure that they really understand when they take a big step like baptism. I was so glad that Chickie had asked on her own, but I wanted to make sure she was ready! So I talked to her, and discussed talked to the leader of the elementary-aged kids at church. She understood the significance of what she was doing, and was certain it was something she wanted to do.

So about an hour later, we were at the river with others from our church (many of whom were also being baptized), and Chickie got dunked!

A little later in the afternoon, she said, "Daddy, can I get my ears pierced?" Daddy and I agreed she could, so we took her to the mall, where she chose Hello Kitty earrings. She was nervous but didn't cry!

I am loving life with my kids these days. I've fallen into the habit of not posting on my blog--something I thought I'd avoid! But recently I've been thinking about how many of these big milestones--and how many every day happenings--I'm not recording. I post them on Facebook, but that's not the most easily-accessible record for posterity! So I'm not making any promises, but I hope I sit down to write a little more often. It's such a sweet time of life, and I never want to forget it.

A week full of changes

Last week was crazy.

Monday I got bad news about a friend who is making some really poor choices. I can't go into more detail than that, but I'm still trying to figure out how to respond.

As I was still mulling over that, I got a call on Tuesday evening from my mom.

"I'm going to tell you something that's going to be hard to hear," she prepared me. "Your dad has prostate cancer."

Ugh. My dad, who is almost 61 and has run multiple half marathons in the last few years, has cancer. The same cancer that took the life of my grandfather (my dad's dad) and my father-in-law (who passed away before I met The Engineer.)

My parents had just gotten the news Tuesday, and they weren't sure yet how bad the cancer was. I felt a deep trust in God when I heard the news, and both of my parents were displaying peace and faith. But I was still stressed and emotional. It was still hard to wait until Thursday afternoon/evening, when my dad would see the urologist and get more news.

Thankfully, the news Thursday was very good! The urologist is 99.9% sure the cancer has not spread. They found it early! My dad has been very consistent with his checkups and bloodwork, paying special attention to his PSA (Prostate-Specific Antigen) levels. There's a lot of controversy right now about how useful a PSA level is. My dad's was very low, and the doctors did not think he had cancer. But the number was rising, and with my dad's family history, that was enough for the specialist to suggest a biopsy, just in case. Thank God my dad said yes!

So he will have surgery in November to remove his prostate. The doctor expects it to take care of the cancer completely, and my dad has a very good chance of not having any serious side effects. If you pray, we'd love you to join us in praying for my dad (Sam) and my mom (Cathy) during this time!

Let this serve as a reminder to you and those you love--whether you're male or female, get your regular checkups! And ladies, get your men to go in. Make the appointment for them if necessary! Women tend to get checkups more regularly than men, and this needs to change! A couple of years ago, The Engineer started having annual physicals, including bloodwork to check his PSA. When Zoodle gets older, we'll impress on him the importance of regular checkups too.

"It's cancer"--two terrible words. But "We found it early"--those are four words that make the news much easier to take.

So, that's brought us through Thursday of last week. The week wasn't over yet!

When The Engineer and I moved to where we live now, we had already connected with a church. They needed a worship leader, and that's The Engineer's area of passion and gifting. (He plays guitar and sings.) We have been part of that church family for the last 12 years.

And I really do mean that word, family! They were a wonderful support to us during rough times (like The Engineer's brain surgery), and good times (like the birth of our two children and the recent birth of Munchkin, the baby I carried for Ann.)

The church changed through the years, as most churches do. The first pastor moved when Chickie was a year old, and last year the second pastor moved. Through the years people came and went--in fact, The Engineer and I have been at that church longer than anyone else! But with all the changes, it remained our home, our community.

After our last pastor left, things just never really recovered. We called a new pastor but it didn't work out for him to move out here permanently. Many people felt it was time to find new church homes, and our numbers dwindled. Finally, we made a decision last weekend, that it's time to disband this community of believers.

It sounds like sad news, but I'm actually really excited. The gradual decline in numbers over the last year or so was very hard and very sad. But we were stretched in so many ways during that time, and God used it to bless us and grow us. And you know, it's okay for something good to come to an end when it's time for that to happen! It means we are free to find another church where we can grow and serve, to find a new community that, I am confident, will become our family!

And so many of those we've connected with over the last 12 years are still part of our family. The best example is Ann and her husband and kids. Ann and I have been very close for some time now, but when I had the extraordinary privilege of carrying her baby, it knitted our families together in a deep, beautiful way. And there are others, people I know I can call on to share my joy and my pain. We'll keep those relationships, whether or not we share a church with those individuals.

So this ending is really a very cool opportunity to discover a new beginning, and I am excited!

This week there isn't too much going on. Zoodle has a cough. We're studying spiders in homeschool. It's Wednesday morning at 8:30 and we're all still in our PJs. It's been a fairly normal week, and I like it that way!

But life moves forward, and big changes come, whether we like them or not. I'm just glad I can trust a big God to be with me on normal days and days that are full of turmoil. Every day, He is there.

What's up?

This time of year is a little crazy. I've been thinking how I need to blog about the crocheting I'm doing (lots of orders in the winter!), and Chickie's sixth birthday (three days ago!) and The Engineer's and my 12th anniversary (two days ago!) Lots of excitement. At some point I should sit down and gush about my kindergartener and how well she's doing with reading. I should do an interview with Zoodle, who has this awesomely cute voice and face--he definitely needs to be on video more often than he is.

All in time...or maybe not. Life just keeps swirling whether I blog or not!

And in that swirling life, there's the challenging stuff too. The stuff I haven't been blogging about. Well, okay, to be honest, I haven't been blogging about much at all. But I wonder if not blogging about the challenging stuff is stifling my blogging instinct altogether. So, here goes....

The Pregnancy

This journey as a gestational carrier...it's kinda crazy. It's emotional. And not in the ways I expected.

I expected that it might be confusing, bonding with someone else's baby. And so far, that just hasn't been very challenging. We'll see how things go over the next 5 1/2 months...and after the birth, when my hormones may toss me around for awhile!

But so far, I'm really trying to enjoy this pregnancy for what it is. I'm not bonding as a mother with this child, but I'm enjoying carrying him or her. I love my pregnant body. It's got curves it doesn't usually have, and I feel beautiful! I'm feeling little "taps" when the baby moves, and it's such a miraculous thing to know that a small human is growing daily inside me. My whole mindset is different than it was with my kids--as it should be. But I'm enjoying being this child's temporary guardian, and want to continue to enjoy that.

What I didn't anticipate--what I don't think any of us did--was that this journey would be so challenging for Ann. Onlookers (women, anyway) tend to think about how they'd handle being a carrier for someone else. Most people don't think about how it would feel to watch someone else carrying their child.

Ann really wants to carry her own children! When her daughter was carried by someone else, that situation had some really intense, unique stressors, and Ann was dealing with all that. This time, without those stressors, Ann is "free" to really feel. To really grieve the loss of her ability to carry babies. And it has been, at times, very, very painful.

It's also been at times very, very joyful! With the pain and the joy, it's been, as Ann has called it, a roller coaster! And since we are striving to join as partners and truly share this pregnancy, it has been a roller coaster for both of us.

I'll be honest--it's not just Ann! I've been hormonal, and emotional, and sometimes I've pulled away. Our friendship has been challenged with stuff that most friends never have to deal with. We haven't always handled it well along the way, but I think we're handling it well overall. We are communicating--a LOT--about what our needs are in this unique relationship. Ann is learning to share more with me. I'm learning to choose my attitudes instead of being controlled by hormones. We both dream of having a lifelong friendship, and we expect to come out of this particular 9 months with a much deeper bond because of what we're working through.

I see the fight that Ann is fighting, and I rejoice in her victories! She is learning so much about herself, and this time of difficult healing is leaving her stronger, as a woman and a mother and a child of God.

It's just been hard at times. Hard and awesome and emotionally difficult and emotionally thrilling and bitter and sweet. And so totally worth it. Ann and I both dream of that moment when this child comes out of my body and into her arms...that moment when this child's mother holds him or her for the first time. I dream of looking back at the journey and saying, "It was harder than we expected. But it was so much more beautiful than we expected, too."

Ann has given me permission to share links to two posts she recently wrote about her struggles and victories. The first, Resentments, is very "raw" but definitely conveys the depth of her struggles. The second post, In Good Times And In Bad Times, shows how she is finding joy through this process, and not letting the difficult parts overcome her.

The Engineer's Family

In my post about Christmas, I hinted at the difficulties that awaited us when we visited The Engineer's mom and stepdad. At this point, I still can't go into details. I'll just say...aging isn't always easy. Sometimes it's very painful, not just for the person getting older, but for the entire family. Decisions are being made, decisions that aren't easy or fun. And The Engineer is in charge of a whole lot of it.

He's awesome--I'm so proud of him. I see his desire to take the best care of his mother that he can take. I see his desire to make the best decisions that he can make. I see his pain, as he knows that sometimes there aren't any "good" choices, only a "best" choice. In less than a month, some changes will hopefully have been implemented. Honestly, none of us are looking forward to what's coming. We are praying for God's divine intervention in this situation, and as vague as this is, I'd appreciate your prayers too, if you're the praying type.

The pregnancy has to be way up on my priority list right now, and I'm so glad The Engineer is handling all the stuff with his family. He's busy with work and church, and his plate doesn't really have room for one more (big) thing, but he's handling it with a grace that makes me love him more. I just want to choose to trust that God's grace is even bigger than The Engineer's, and that He'll walk with us all through this.

So...that's what's up. And now that it's off my chest...I'm looking forward to writing some fun, "happy mommy" posts. Soon!

A unique way to countdown to Christmas

I'll be honest--We are a Christian family, but boy do I have a hard time keeping my focus on Christ during Christmas. Yesterday in the car, Zoodle was asking me where Santa lives. I'm not anti-Santa, but it would be kinda cool if he was as interested in Jesus' birth as he is in Santa's house!

One of my blogging friends, Lara, posted a link on Facebook today that looked intriguing. It was for an e-book called Truth is in Tinsel by Amanda White. After checking it out, I purchased my own copy for $4.99.

The book is broken up into 24 days, and we'll start it today. Each day includes a short Scripture reading, points to discuss, and a simple craft. Each craft is an ornament for the tree. (Today's craft looks really fun--a candle made with tissue paper and construction paper.) There's even a "picture and word clue" for the kids to listen to during each daily Bible reading, and when they hear it, we'll take a strip of paper with that word on it (included in the book) and add it to a paper chain.

It's a PDF download, so you don't need a Kindle or other e-book reader to read the book. (And while it's in color, I just now printed it on my black-and-white printer and I'm pretty sure that'll work fine.) It's $4.99, and I think it'll be a really good way for me to help my kids think about the birth of Jesus, and what He means in our lives. They get plenty of Santa information from other sources. This year I'd like them to learn more about Jesus at home!

Click here to check out Truth in the Tinsel. You can even download one day for free.

Disclosure: I was not compensated in any way for this blog post, and I purchased my own copy of the e-book.

Focus

I've got big stuff on my mind right now and I've been wanting to find joy in the exact circumstance I'm in, every day.

As I was walking home the other day after dropping off Chickie at school, I was worrying about this big stuff that's on my mind. I was fighting in myself to trust God instead of indulging in worries.

Then I started really paying attention to Zoodle, who was riding in the stroller. He was playing a silly game on my phone in which he says something into the phone, and a cat repeats what he said in an altered voice. He was giggling in delight as he made funny noises and heard them repeated. So I took the phone and started saying my own little messages.

We both laughed, and I realized--finding joy doesn't just apply to the big stuff in my life, the stuff that consumes my attention. Lots of times that big stuff doesn't really need that much attention.

Finding joy also means looking away from that big stuff, and enjoying the small stuff. (Funny thing is, the small stuff tends to put the big stuff in perspective.)

Next time my mind is warring between worry and joy as I look at all of life's unknowns, I hope I can turn my attention to a giggling kid or a great song or a sweet moment with my husband--all the simple things God gives me to experience joyfully...every day.

Focusing on what I know

Several weeks ago we took Zoodle to the emergency room. Throughout the day, he'd been having occasional, sharp abdominal pain. We were naturally concerned, and a nurse on the phone confirmed that we needed to get him checked out.

The diagnosis? Constipation.

I groaned and laughed when I realized we'd taken him to the ER for constipation. But it was a nervous laugh, because I knew the hospital bill wouldn't be pretty. (And I knew that based on our particular health insurance plan and deductible, we would be responsible for the bill.)

Last night before bed (bad timing!), I logged on to our health insurance website to see how much we'd owe.

And...I freaked out. It was a lot higher than I expected. We've also had major car repair and maintenance bills recently. Carefully-saved cash savings can be spent so quickly, and that tends to undermine my sense of security.

It wasn't a pretty sight, last night. Tears, panicked worries about other anticipated expenses months in the future. Guilt that we haven't been as careful with discretionary expenses as we should be. I was a mess.

I sat down in a private place (which happened to be on top of the closed toilet in my bathroom!) and started to think and pray. As I mentioned recently, my faith in God has really been renewed lately. I knew I needed to look at this from a perspective that put God in the center of the situation instead of continuing to fight for air, drowning in the quicksand of "what ifs."

Lately there is a principle I've been telling myself, and it's really helped me to have less anxiety. Focus on what you do know, not on what you don't know.

I don't know what will happen when I call to discuss some hospital charges that don't make sense to me, or what other expenses will come up in the future, or exactly how much money we can save by making wiser choices, or exactly how much income will come into our household in the next six months. These are the things I worried about last night, even though they are things I don't--and can't--know.

What I do know is this:

• God has provided for me every single day of my life, and He will continue.
• According to Proverbs 3:5-6, if I trust in God instead of my own understanding, and if I submit to Him, He'll make my path straight. That means He'll show me the next step. And the next. And the next. What a relief!
• I know all the comforting promises and truths of Matthew 6:25-34. When I seek God first, He will provide for me! Worry is pointless!
  
• Jesus said that I should ask God for my daily bread. Sure, I can make wise plans about tomorrow, and next month, and retirement, but as long as I have my daily bread, I have what I need. I have my daily bread already, and much more.
• Maybe at times we should have been more careful with how we've spent our money. But even if we've made mistakes, they are "as far [from us] as the east is from the west." God doesn't require me to be perfect in order for Him to provide for me.
  

As I sat there, my perspective shifted. The Holy Spirit in me did his job as my Comforter and Teacher. I was still emotional, but I became excited to see how God will provide for our family.

Honestly, I'm still having to fight against the desire to worry and to "figure it all out." But when that happens, I can choose to shift my focus. It can be tough, changing old thought patterns. But I know that this current situation will help me to more deeply learn a skill that brings so much peace:

Focus on what you do know, not on what you don't know.

Fear

Soon after Jerry, our houseguest/possible future pastor, got here, we were having a conversation about faith. I started a sentence with, "What I'm really afraid of is...."

After hearing my fear, Jerry replied, "You know that's not from God. So when that comes to your mind, just don't focus on it. Leave it behind."

That simple answer--just don't focus on it--was just what I needed. I tend to try to "talk myself out of" my anxieties, and in doing so, they can become even worse. When I'm trying to talk myself out of it, I'm just focusing on it more.

It's so easy for me to manufacture fear and anxiety--and I'm talking about the stuff I really don't need to deal with, not real stuff that truly needs to be figured out. Things like, "What if...?" and "Does so-and-so dislike me for some unknown reason?" When those thoughts come up, I'm trying to learn to just mentally walk away.

Leave it behind.

Is this a Christian blog?

If you follow me on Twitter, you know that we've had a houseguest recently. Our pastors recently moved, and our church has invited a really great couple, Jerry and Wilma, to be our new pastors. We don't know yet if that's going to work out, but Jerry is here for three weeks, preaching on Sundays and getting to know church members.

I was nervous about welcoming him into our home since I didn't know him well before he came. However, as the visit got closer, I became more and more comfortable with the idea of him being here, with excitement crowding out my dwindling nerves. When The Engineer first asked if I'd be willing to invite him to stay with us, I was hesitant. But I felt like God was urging me, "Do it; it'll be a good thing." So we did.

And having Jerry here has been a very good thing. I'm a stay-at-home mom, so I spend a lot of time with houseguests! Jerry offers so much encouragement and wisdom. We don't see eye-to-eye on every issue, but his heart is full of love and faith. It's been wonderful to get to soak up all of that as we have great conversations about faith and politics and church and all sorts of other things. Right now he's visiting an out-of-town friend for a few days, but I expect more of the same good stuff when he returns.

When I started this blog, I decided I didn't want it to be a "Christian blog," even though I'm a Christian who blogs. I reasoned that I didn't want to limit my audience in that way.

But the other motivation was that I care so much about what other people think of me, and when it comes to something as polarizing as spiritual beliefs, I often stay quiet, because I don't want others to look down on me. I don't want the awkwardness or rejection that can come with disagreement. It scares me.

But in the last couple of weeks (starting before Jerry came, but definitely accelerated by his visit), I've felt my connection with God being revitalized. I'd lost most of the passion in my spiritual life, and I was okay with that. I'm not okay with it now. I'm seeking God deeply again, and I want to keep that up. I'd forgotten the peace and joy I have when I'm really connected with my Father.

With all that happening, I've been considering what I blog about. If my walk of faith is important to me, I want to give myself the freedom to be honest about it. I want to write about what's on my heart, whether that's a recipe, or a parenting story, or something I'm experiencing with God.

But I also want to be clear about something: It's not my job to convince others to believe the way I do. I don't want to manipulate anyone. I don't want to bang anyone over the head with my beliefs. I don't want to judge anyone. An important part of my faith is believing that God is strong enough and loving enough to draw people close to him. That's not my responsibility.

I just want to let God lead me in every part of my life, and I want to be open about that. I want to stop telling myself that talking (or writing) about Him is too scary.

So is this a Christian blog? I'd prefer to say that it's a Beth blog. It's about the things that interest me--family and cooking and crocheting and running (or, these days, walking.) And my faith affects all of those things, so yes--it's about faith too. It's not about sermonizing. It's just about me being real...and me welcoming you here, wanting you to be real too.

Whether our realities are similar or different, I'm glad you're here. Even if you can never be a guest at my house, I'm always happy to welcome you as a guest here, at my blog. (And I don't even have to tidy up the house for you!)

All they want for Christmas is...a pig!

My friend Megan and her daughter Rylee had their acting debut recently in this video from Gospel for Asia, the Christian missions organization Megan and her husband Joel work for. This video shows a great way to give to the most needy at Christmas time!



I love the Gospel for Asia Christmas gift catalog (which you can browse by clicking here). It gives ways for people to share Christ's love in a practical manner, and the gifts you can buy truly fit all budgets, starting at just $1. From Bibles, to goats, to camels, to goats, to chickens, to church buildings, each gift has the potential of truly changing lives!

Gospel for Asia is a great organization. Every penny you give to the mission field (including what you give through the Christmas gift catalog) goes to help people living in Asia. None of it is used for administrative expenses here in the U.S.; those expenses are paid by other donors.

Last Christmas we gave money for a rickshaw. I love knowing that a man in Asia now owns a rickshaw, instead of having to rent one every day. Renting a rickshaw for a day can take as much as half of the driver's daily income!

This is one of my favorite organizations, and if you feel moved by what they do, I'd love for you to check out their Christmas gift catalog, and see what your family might want to give. If you have kids, they can help you choose!

Weakness and joy

I had a rough run yesterday. I went ten miles total, but for the last two-plus miles, I was walking because my darn IT band was bothering me enough that I needed to stop running on it. For quite a bit of that final two miles, I was on the phone with my husband, telling him my frustrations.

I've been going to this fantastic rehab clinic for the last week, where a doctor has been doing therapy on me, and I've been taught what I can do at home to work on my issues.

All that is working great on some other (more minor) issues I was having. And my IT band did well on my shorter runs this week. So (even though my doctor told me it would be fixed in two to three weeks) I had such high hopes yesterday. Hopes that left me disappointed and weepy.

I'm not sure what's going to happen from here. I still have four weeks to get this worked out before the half marathon I have scheduled, but I really don't know if that's going to happen or not. I don't like being in limbo.

But as I stood outside Starbucks after my run, drinking my guilt-free Frappuccino and waiting for my husband and kids to come pick me up, I realized some things.

• I believe God is personal. I know him. And no matter what disappoints me in life, He's with me. So If I can focus on Him, resting in his hands, I don't have to place my hope in things that I can't really depend on, like being a perfectly healthy runner. I'm still frustrated with my body, but I'm thankful that it's helping me shift my focus back to the One who I can depend on.
  
• I ran about eight miles yesterday (with lots of stops to try to deal with my issues, but still...eight miles.) I let the two miles I couldn't run determine my mood, instead of being thankful for the eight miles I could run. Whether or not I can run 13.1 miles in four weeks, I want to enjoy and be grateful for every single mile that my body lets me run. And the nice thing about gratitude is...it reminds me again to focus on the One I'm grateful to.

I'm writing this on Saturday afternoon, and I'm still tired and disappointed and know I could cry at the drop of a hat. But I also have joy because today reminded me what's important to me. I can focus on a strong God...instead of a weak body.

Funk

I've been in and out of a funk ever since I found out that some of my cousins were in a Haitian jail. It's been well over two weeks now. Last week I wasn't sure how much of my stress was due to this situation, but when we heard on Wednesday that they would probably be released, my energy suddenly soared and I had a smile on my face! I knew then that their predicament was really affecting my emotions.

That was a week ago, and they are still in jail as I write this on Tuesday. We hope to get more information Wednesday. Things are just so different in Haiti than they are here. Not knowing what to expect is frustrating. If this is hard for me--someone who is not particularly close to my cousins--I know the stress on their immediate families must be intense. Thankfully God's peace and love seem to be flowing through Paul's and Drew's wives.

Trust is key. Stealing quiet times away to connect with God--that's key too. Those things are harder than they sound, but when I manage them, I have much more peace.

Since this is on my mind so much, I figured I might as well blog about it. My ideas for blogging are compromised when I am so distracted! When these guys come home, we will be so relieved. Their spouses, siblings, kids, and parents will be joyful. And way down on the list of benefits...maybe my blog mojo will be back in full force too!

The Internet survived without me!

In Christianity (and plenty of other religions), fasting has been a spiritual discipline for millenia. The idea is to not eat for a particular period of time (a meal, a day, three days, 40 days[!], etc.) and to focus on prayer.

I spent so many years pregnant and/or nursing, and during that time I really needed to eat regularly. My body was working with an extra-fast metabolism, and my kiddos were depending on that nutrition. So occasionally I'd do some sort of "media fast," where I'd stay away from TV, radio, and/or Internet for the better portion of a day. I found that for me, this seems to have more meaning than a traditional food fast. My brain slows down enough to pray--and relax--when I'm not constantly listening, watching, or typing.

I knew that yesterday some family members were going to be fasting and praying for the missionaries in Haiti, and I decided to take time away from the Internet. This isn't about strict rules; I didn't stay away 100% of the time. But I didn't read any news stories. (Checking Google News every other second for Haiti stories has been my recent obsession, and it really doesn't bring me much peace.) I checked email once, responding to very few. I kept Twitter and Facebook closed. I didn't check any blogs, only taking a few seconds to set up a writing prompt at my other blog.

It reminded me to pray. And beyond that, it just afforded me with more peace. It was hard not checking email, Twitter, news, etc. throughout the day, but it was also nice. I even got our taxes done (which required quite a bit of Internet time, but not of the fun variety.)

And you know what? The Internet survived without me. Maybe I should give it that opportunity more often.

(By the way, we are hopeful that the missionaries may be released Monday, but nothing is certain. If you do pray, please continue this weekend.)

Monday Micro: My cousins, arrested in Haiti

I'm posting my Monday post a bit early because it is urgent.

You may have heard of the Americans who were arrested in Haiti on Saturday, accused of child trafficking. Three of them are my cousins (my late aunt's son, son-in-law, and grandson.)

These are men of integrity. I'd trust them with my children. I trust that their sole intention was to bring practical and spiritual help and love to needy children.

My dad has written an excellent blog post explaining the situation more fully; it is here.

I'm not sure exactly what caused such a tremendous misunderstanding. I don't know whose fault it is. But, wherever the confusion lie, I can tell you one thing. This is not a group of people trying to smuggle children.

If you pray, please pray that they are released. They are scheduled to see a judge Monday.

We believe that God has them safe in his hands. We look forward to them being safe with their families again.

Merry Christmas...or Happy Holidays? (My opinion may surprise you.)

Every Christmas I get emails bemoaning the sad state of affairs we're in. Stores have banners proclaiming not "Merry Christmas!" but "Happy Holidays!" Schools have a "winter break," not "Christmas break." And occasionally a decorated evergreen is called a "holiday tree."

Now, I'll admit the "holiday tree" thing is almost as ridiculous as calling a menorah a "holiday candlestick." But I'm also going public with this belief:

I'm okay with "Happy Holidays" and "Season's Greetings." You don't have to tell me "Merry Christmas" for me to enjoy shopping at your store or greeting you in the street.

I'm a devout Christian. I believe that the Bible is true, that Jesus really was born to a virgin, and that these things are worth celebrating and sharing.

But, really, is a huge "MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!" above the Barbie and Lego pictures in a Target ad going to convince someone to believe in Christianity? And as a Christian, does "HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!" really threaten the beliefs of my heart and mind? If it does, I think I've got a problem.

I think a lot of this is tied to a sense of dismay held by many Christians--dismay that America is "no longer a Christian nation." Well...we aren't. And we weren't ever meant to be. Sure, a lot of Founding Fathers were Christians. Plenty of others weren't. They very specifically did not create the USA as a theocracy.

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof...." That's straight from the First Amendment. In order to be truly free to practice whatever religion we want (or not to practice at all), we've got to be in a country whose government doesn't recognize any particular religion as more true than any other.

If that means public schools want to call it "winter break" instead of "Christmas vacation," I'm fine with that. Just as I don't need Target ads to validate my belief in Christ, I'm not going to depend on public schools to give my children religious education. It's a break from school, and it's in the winter. Winter break. Works for me.

And that whole "free exercise" thing means that Target, Sears, & Wal-Mart can celebrate Christmas if they want (or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, or none of the above, or all of the above.) I'll wholeheartedly defend their right to make those decisions. I'd expect to be defended in my right to act according to my beliefs, too.

This December my family is celebrating the Christian version of Christmas, including sending out a Scripture-quoting card. And when I say "Merry Christmas," you can respond with "Happy Holidays," "Season's Greetings," "Happy Hanukkah," "Happy Kwanzaa," or "Yippeekiyay, it's Winter Solstice and the days are going to get longer again!"

I may not agree with your beliefs, and you may not care for mine...but I think most of us can concur that religious freedom is a beautiful thing, any season of the year.

A goat for Christmas? Or maybe a chicken?

I'm excited about something we're planning to be involved in, as a family, this year. I'll preface this by telling you I'm going to be writing about a Christian missions organization. I know that my readers have various religious beliefs, and I like to give a heads up if one of my posts is going to be specifically about faith.

A friend of mine from high school, Megan, and her husband Joel work for an organization called Gospel for Asia. GFA's goal is to share Jesus' love with people in Asia, by providing support for native missionaries, and by giving practical help to many Asian families.

I really appreciate that money donated for the work in Asia all goes to Asia. People like Megan and Joel, who work on the administrative side here in the U.S., raise all their financial support themselves.

They have a Christmas program that I think is so exciting! The GFA Christmas Catalog gives people the opportunity to purchase gifts that will help Asian families or missionaries in practical ways. Here are some examples:

Gifts to help impoverished Asian families:

• A pair of rabbits: $11. Rabbits reproduce...well, like rabbits, so one pair can provide lots of food and income for a family.
• Water buffalo: $460. From transportation, to plowing, to providing milk, a water buffalo can truly change an Asian family's lives.
• BioSand water filter: $30. A village can have cleaner water and greater health, with this simple filter.
• Jesus Well, $1000. A Jesus Well provides clean water, and an opportunity for missionaries to share about Jesus, the Living Water.
• House: $5000. Many Asians have lost homes to natural disasters, and a simple, new home can be provided for $5000.
  

Gifts to help missionaries:

• Tambourine: $5. A simple tambourine can be used by a missionary to play worship music.
• Bicycle: $110. Many missionaries spend a lot of their time walking from village to village, and a bicycle allows them to travel much more quickly.
• Church building: $11,000. In the U.S., $11,000 doesn't even cover the chairs at many churches! In India, it's enough money to build an entire church.

I'm not yet sure what we'll be giving, but I'm excited thinking about all the possibilities! There is a lot more at the website if you'd like to check it out here. And here is a short video (under three minutes) about a family who gave, and a family who received.



For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me....

I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.
-Jesus, Matthew 25:35,40 (NIV)

Is Halloween evil?

I was listening to our biggest local talk radio station yesterday morning. One of the hosts is very conservative, politically and religiously, and he said something negative about Halloween.

"I bet," one of the other hosts said, "you think Halloween is of the devil."

"Well, not only is it of the devil," the conservative host replied, "but you're also teaching kids to ask strangers to give them something for nothing. It's perfect training for future Democrats."

His "logic" got a laugh, and later he was teased about saying Halloween is "a conspiracy between the devil and Democrats."

I groaned at the radio host's views, but it did get me to thinking--

Is Halloween evil?

I grew up in a very conservative Christian family--my dad is a Baptist pastor. We had great fun with Halloween, and my other Christian friends celebrated the holiday too. Then when I was seven years old or so, my parents were given some information about Halloween's past and current pagan/occult/Satanic influences.

So, in the mid-1980s, when most Christians still had no problems with Halloween, we stopped celebrating. We still handed out candy, but didn't dress up or Trick-or-Treat. "Fall Festivals" and "Harvest Festivals" weren't popular yet, so we didn't go to any "Halloween alternative" celebrations. My mom did buy us candy--she didn't want us to feel too deprived! And I'll admit, candy has always gone a long way toward making me happy.

I wholeheartedly shared my parents' convictions about not celebrating a "Satanic holy day" but also missed the fun parts of Halloween. When we transferred out of a Christian school and into a public school, I was embarrassed that I couldn't participate in singing Halloween songs or coloring Halloween pictures. I felt it was worth it...but it was hard.

Now a great many American Evangelical Christians do not celebrate Halloween because of the scary and/or evil influences. This is a pretty popular view, and many kids from anti-Halloween families are now in good company, at least in certain parts of the country.

I'm still a Christian, but...now I'm okay with Halloween. (Interestingly, my parents don't think it's a terrible holiday anymore either.) I've read opinions on both side of this in-house Christian debate. I tend to agree with those who make these points:

• A few people who use a day for evil don't have to turn the day evil for everyone else.
• Various holidays have pagan histories (including a certain now-Christian holiday at the end of December); the history of the day matters less than what we do with it now.
• Even the "scary" parts of Halloween can be an opportunity for kids to confront fears, and to laugh at them. In our house we describe the bats, ghosts, and mummies as "silly scary."
• October 31 and November 1 have been celebrated as Christian holidays in the past. In the future we may research this more and incorporate "All Saint's Day" into our family celebration.

This year our church is having a Fall Festival. We'll dress up our kids and go...and then we'll probably trick-or-treat in our neighborhood afterward. I think the Fall Festival is a great way to reach out to our community, and to give non-celebrating families a non-scary, fun place to spend the evening. But I also think trick-or-treating is fun, and I'm looking forward to the opportunity to spend just a bit of time with our neighbors.

We have friends who do not celebrate Halloween. And you know what? That's okay. I believe one of the responsibilities we have as parents is to pass along the values and beliefs that are important to us. So whether they do or don't participate in _________ (fill in the blank with Halloween, Christmas, Passover, Valentine's Day, etc.), I support the parents around me. It's not my goal to convince others to come to the "pro-Halloween" side.

But if any of my Republican friends start arguing that Halloween is a Democratic holiday, I just might have to give them a talkin'-to.

Lukewarm coffee

Yesterday I once again picked up a cup of lukewarm coffee (well, actually, Choffy in this case--more on that in a future post), and I realized something.

I hardly ever drink a full cup of coffee, or Choffy, or tea, at home, while it's hot. I forget about it. Later I put it in the microwave to heat it up. I forget it's in the microwave. After an hour or so, I heat it up again. I sip it while I make dinner, and then I once again forget about it.

And I realized this says something about my ability to sit down and truly relax.

Last night I set the alarm on my cell phone. I got up this morning, made Choffy, and sat, without a computer. I spent time with God, because my spirit needed be fed. At the end of my time, I realized I could relax better in the seldom-used dining room, and I moved there.

Tomorrow I'll set my alarm for 15 minutes earlier, since Zoodle and Chickie woke up soon after I did. But despite several interruptions, the time was sweet.

And this was the result:

Zoodle's dedication

With my parents in town this weekend, I wanted to dedicate Zoodle to God at church. Here is the e-mail exchange I had with Kenny, our pastor:

Kenny--My parents will be in town next Sunday the 14th. Can we do Zoodle's dedication that day?

Thanks!
Beth

Yes, that would be great!!! If you want me to do anything specific let me know.

Kenny

Hmm, anything specific. I was thinking we could start doing some sort of cool war paint like Native Americans do for their ceremonies? What do you think?

Beth

I was thinking more along the lines of the Vulcan mind meld. :) I don't really even know what that means. :/

Kenny

Despite our creative ideas, we settled on the normal dedication ceremony.

For the important occasion, Zoodle dressed up in his best shirt, tie, and pocket square.



The brief dedication was great. Pastor Kenny talked about what it means to raise a child in God's ways, and he prayed for us to have wisdom as Zoodle's parents. (We need that wisdom!)

(Left to right: My dad, my mom, Chickie, me, Zoodle, The Engineer, & Pastor Kenny)

Dedicating Zoodle was a memorable, important occasion. (But I still think war paint and a Vulcan mind meld would have been fun!)

Saturday thanks and prayer

Thank you so much to each of you who commented on yesterday's post. The comments were so encouraging--as I expected they'd be! Thank you for coming through for me, again! I responded to all the comments, in my own comment.

I loved one thing that Sandra wrote, and wanted to share it. In case you don't "know" Sandra, she has a really fantastic blog calle Add Humor and Faith...Mix Well. It is funny and inspirational, and as I've said before, I'd like to just sit down and have a cup of tea with her. Or maybe coffee; I'm more on a coffee kick these days. With some half and half, but no sugar. Mmm....

Where was I?

Oh, yeah. Here's what Sandra said. I'm hoping by typing it out, it'll stick in my head so that I'll remember it for the next couple of decades.

The prayer I said many times during the child-rearing years was this: "Please diminish the things I do wrong, and enhance the things I do right, because I haven't a clue which is which!"

Now, that's my kind of prayer.

Thank you again for being such an encouraging group of blog readers. Enjoy your weekend!

Eggcellent photos

We joined several of our neighbors for a little Easter egg hunt and barbecue yesterday. It was great--more fun than doing it by ourselves, and definitely more entertaining than fighting crowds at a public egg hunt!

Chickie was excited about her basket of eggs.

And Zoodle...well, Zoodle was just getting up from his nap when the egg hunt happened. (And we wouldn't have wanted him trampeled by lots of excited little feet anyway!) So here is a staged photo of Zoodle "finding eggs."

Today, I celebrate life.

The life I share with The Engineer.

The lives of my kiddos--Chickie (appropriate Easter name, isn't it?) and Zoodle.

And my spiritual life in Christ, my resurrected Savior and living Friend.

May you have an Easter that is full of joy and full of life!