I have a lot on my mind of late. Joel and I are looking toward the future and trying to plan with wisdom and with soul.  I keep working on scenarios, financials, and timelines  that might afford us optimal happiness.  It's driving me a bit crazy.

The other night, I walked to my yoga class.  I left intentionally early.  I stopped to smell the darkest purple lilacs, a luxury in their differentiation from my lavender-colored bush at home.  I noticed the sounds of the neighborhood and stumbled upon a girl dressed in sparkly pink mary-janes, pushing a stroller and talking to her cargo playmate, a younger child also dressed up.  I giggled at her nonchalance.  It made me walk lighter.

I entered the glorious old building.  I smelled the age in its bones.  I caressed the thirsty wood on the staircase.  I was dwarfed in the enormity of the windows.

I arrived to class earlier than expected. I took my deliberate time setting up the mat, blocks, blanket.  I found the place I wanted to do my practice.  I tried really hard to meditate on the moment.  I kept getting distracted by the flashing leaves outside the window.  Mission accomplished.

I kept Thomas Moore's quote in my head.  

"The soul is nurtured by want as much as by plenty."
found in Care of The Soul
Chapter 9, "The Economics of Soul: Work, Money, Failure, and Creativity"

I realized how guilty I feel about how much I want from life.
Conversely, I realized how entitled I feel toward those goals.

I carried both in my paradox pouch and let myself feel the nurturing embrace of desire;
the sheer goodness of wanting.

I found a yoga class that meets in one of my favorite buildings in Seattle...and it's roughly a 1-mile walk from my home.  After I left last night's class, I remembered all the reasons I love yoga...the openness it brings both physically and spiritually, the focus on the present moment, and the simply wonderful re-education that the body was made to move and is capable of way more than I allow it.

A good lesson in self-care.
Again.

You might remember this building from the first time I discovered it.

i realize it is noon, but i have the beginnings of a horrible head cold, and i made myself sleep until 11:30. granted, it was not hard, so there was not a lot of self-discipline involved...but at least being sick is an excuse for 9.5hrs of sleep right?

Because of these hours and aforementioned premonition of illness, I am stiffer than a board. I decided to greet the morning with Mr. Rodney Yee in his a.m. yoga videos. You may laugh at my bed head. But only once. Begin.

Okay, now stop laughing.

I have so much house work to do today. Tomorrow, the saint and i head out to the land of ungodly sun (southern california) and will try to keep our sensitive seattle eyes from burning off (note to self: buy sunglasses). We will be visiting friends and family and enjoying some much needed stress-free vacationing. I am hoping for a few trips to In-N-Out myself - though the saint could care less for it. (To cheeseburger or not to cheeseburger is a point of debate in our discussion-rich marriage. He hates cheeseburgers - it's really unnatural. ;) )

So I must comb my hair, make my bed, do laundry, scrub the bathroom and kitchen, dust, vacuum...etc. I will be rewarded with booze tonight (after I see the Star Trek movie - how I love my husband) with friends, so I really must get to it.