musings of a melancholic: children

Showing posts with label children. Show all posts

Thought I would take a moment and show you the dramatic difference between using my new flash by itself and using it with the Gary Fong Lightsphere.

My living room is obviously filled with more beautiful light in the left photo, though I have some work to do on the focus and exposure.

Joel came home and found me taking a nap. He started playing with the camera and despite me looking seriously tired, the skin tone on the left photo is much more flattering (and completely unedited). I really think this diffuser makes people look much better than the harsh flash.

Jenn and Olive and Brian came over for dinner. I snapped these to see how it might affect photos of children, and although you can't see Olive's face in the left, you can see the color and skin tone is much more true (especially flattering to Jenn's ridiculously lovely skin).

Last one, I promise. Again, the warmth of skin tone in the left picture is dramatic compared to the right.

I love my new toy.

And just for the hell of it, I will now show off my niece and her cuteness

(and my awesome diffuser)

This last weekend, I was able to get away for a few days and take in the much-needed company of my college best friend and her wee babes. Joel and I are nursing an empty nest as my sister has moved out, and we are both really missing she and Clara. There is an overwhelming amount of processing and release that has been left in the wake of this very quiet house, and we are honoring it with all its pain and pleasure. However, travel is a wonderful distraction and mind-clearer. It is these things I was pursuing....and while rest and relationship were nurtured, Emerson's thoughts on travel still ring true:

"At home I dream that at Naples, at Rome, I can be intoxicated with beauty, and lose my sadness. I pack my trunk, embrace my friends, embark on the sea, and at last wake up in Naples,a nd there beside me is the stern fact, the sad self, unrelenting, identical, that I fled from...My giant goes with me wherever I go."

In the end, the trip was wonderful, but to the hope of losing oneself , I doubt I shall ever aspire.

Now if we're talking about sun - oh yes. My feet basked in warm cement and spring-like breezes.

And if we are talking about beautiful children and trips to In-N-Out, then YES!

And if we are talking about a lot of play, laughter, and fun -

YEPS.

And we are definitely mentioning the good drinks and food.

Fuel for the body and soul.

Or if we are talking about sibling love, plenty of that.

To the beauty of true friends

(and their inspiring offspring),

I say

AMEN.

I have so much to catch you all up on here at Chateau Bookling (soon to be named Bookling Manor, but more on that later).

The purpose of my most recent Redding trip was to finally be a part of my best friend Jackie's delivery of child number three. I haven't been able to be there for the other two children (missed the last one by a DAY), so I took advantage of my flexible situation and went down for the two weeks right around her due date. We were hoping that fate would be on our side so I could be a part of it.

I was due to leave on Tuesday and Levi David decided to make his appearance on Monday at 8:39am after 13 hours of labor. It was such an amazing process to behold from start to finish and made me marvel at the love and trust Jackie had placed in me to allow me to be a fly on the wall for such a vulnerable process. Though I am comfortable showing just about any emotion, pain is absolutely NOT one of them.

When Levi finally started to crown, I absolutely couldn't believe it. I had never seen a birth (not even a video), and it was just nothing like I expected. I thought I would be traumatized and never want to go through the process, but either Jackie made it look easy, or I realized that there simply couldn't be anything more natural. And then, oh the gobs and gobs of joy and release of the happiest floodgate of tears came upon me...and I cannot imagine how that would be intensified if I were seeing my child for the first time.

It's magical; divinity sure pulled a rabbit out of a hat with this one. And boy, after Levi came, it was the hardest thing in the world to get back on that plane. I have always had a serious case of baby fever (NOT parent fever, sadly), and this only made it soooo.much.worse. He's my new favorite 5 day old.

There was talk about me extending my plane ticket, but alas, the saint and I had made a huge decision right before I left for the trip, and I needed to get back to execute the plans. We have decided to move to the country. It's a rather long story, but Joel will be working from home next month and we do not have enough room in our little city-cave to accommodate the both of us here. Not only that, but in order to maintain my stay-at-homeness, we needed a cheaper place. These are the practical reasons.

The soulful reasons, and the vastly more important to me are these: We are slow-pokey souls. We want a simpler life, a quieter life, a more intentional life. In order to do this, we need to unbury ourselves from the debt of our early 20s. We need to be in the forest. We need space to spread our wings and test our courage in flight. We need to be closer to his parents.

I cannot tell you what a hard decision this was for me. Joel loves the city, but he really REALLY needs to be around his trees and hobby space. I love the city, and that's all I need (that I know of, never having lived in the country). I watch Seattle unfold my words; she is my muse. BUT, she isn't going anywhere...I just have to come to her. Plus, all of our friends are here and though I know we will all make the drive, there will be so much less of the spontaneous, no traffic, quick drinks together.

The move happens this next weekend - so this week is me packing and taking trips out there. We've already spent more time in the car this week than we probably have all year. So there you have it, we will be upgrading Chateau Bookling into Bookling Manor.

AND THE LAST BIT:

Right around my birthday, I posted a 12-month challenge blog. The first month's challenge was to stick to my budget. Well, all I'm going to say about that is that I tried really, really, really hard. And though I wasn't entirely successful, it was remarkable how just even paying acute attention to it made me spend less. August came and went and I never got to report or tell you what September's challenge was. Well, I decided that September's challenge was moving to the country.

Dears, I hope that you put goals in place as a guideline for yourselves and not a binding contract. I am learning to give myself a WHOLE lot of room in this way...even to boast to the world that "I AM RUNNING FOR 5 HOURS A DAY" and then not doing it if it turns out that it wasn't a goal I could keep, or didn't want to keep...or whatever. Needless to say, I am not the kind of person that will ever become a body-builder or have drive to accomplish something with unwavering focus, but I tell you, I AM the kind of person that can extend myself the amount of graciousness that I can extend to those I love - and that is a rare gift.

So, I took September off and decided to focus on my life instead. Funny how whether or not you make it a goal to grow and change...life does it for you.

Happy Weekend,
crm

Levi David Corn

For the last two weeks, I've enjoyed the pleasure and pain of living with children.
I've watched them, I've kissed them, I've corrected them, I've read to them,
I've played with them...
but mostly...

I've envied them.
Their innocence, their authenticity, their imagination.
Their nakedness.
Their kiddie pool.

The mountain upon which they live.

Their security, their joy.

Their stay-home mother.

Their energy.

In addition to these two wee souls,
I've also mingled with the wind; swayed with the trees; sighed at the sunset.

And more envy visited me.

I wanted their simplicity.
The special way no one sees them
unless they look with intention and patience.

I wanted their pure beauty.
I wanted to know what it feels like to trust your roots.
To never question your existence.
Or your death.
To have everything decided for you.