I know this is quite long--but this is a chapter from my Grandfather's book and I have been wanting to post it forever!
There are treasures of truth and profound insight in here. I have read this many times and never get tired of the amazing stories and reminders. Whether for your own life or you become inspired to share with someone you love--the truths are profound.
Forgiveness is a freeing enabling agent. Shackles are crumbled, bondage broken, and where darkness once consumed, the light of peace delivers.
Dissolving Resentments and Achieving Forgiveness
(To Him That Believeth: Claiming Heaven’s
Blessings. By: Frederick & June Babbel)
Accumulated
resentments are warping or destroying the lives of millions of people in this
land and in other countries around the world. Resentments are insidious by
nature. They generally create greater havoc with the one who harbors them than
with the person or persons against whom such resentment is focused.
As
long as we cling to resentments, we short-circuit the glorious regenerating
power of forgiveness in our own lives and delay its benign influence in the
lives of those against whom resentment is focused.
The Key to
Well-Being
In
considering this vital subject, let us remember that love is the fulfilling of
all the law and the prophets. (Matthew 22:40.) To overcome resentments requires
Christlike love. Out of love grow gratitude, thanksgiving, kindness,
tenderness, humility, meekness, joy, and, above all else, forgiveness. These
are all godly virtues through which we can be lifted up. We can have increased
light until there is not darkness in us. “… and that body which is filled with
light comprehendeth all things.” (D&C 88:67.) What a glorious promise!
On
the other hand, doubt, worry, anxiety, fear, hate, bickering, strife,
disputation, contention, fault-finding, and resentments come from the evil one.
They are on his side of the Line! They have no association with faith. They
have no relevance with trust. They are the antithesis of love. Recall how the
Apostle Paul emphasized this fact to Timothy: “For God hath not given us the
spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy
1:7.)
We
cannot serve God and mammon! We cannot nurture seeds of distrust, seeds of
suspicion, seeds of jealousy, and others, all of which stem from doubt. If we
do, we deny ourselves the power of God athat can operate in and through us. We
cannot serve two masters.
Have
you ever wondered why you did not receive a blessing you desired?
Ye
endeavored to believe that ye should receive the blessing which was offered
unto you; but behold … there were fears in your hearts, and … this is the
reason that ye did not receive. (D&C 67:3.)
We
must rid our minds, our thoughts, our feelings and our actions of all negative
qualities. By entertaining or cultivating such negativity in our lives, we are
opening the door to the adversary and relinquishing our diving strength and
power to be used by him for his avowed purpose—our misery and ultimate
destruction. (2 Nephi 2:27.)
The Power of Forgiveness
One
day at the Church offices, I was walking down the hall when President Levi
Edgar Young motioned for me to come into his office. As I entered he invited me
to be seated and said, “Brother Babbel, if you have a few minutes I would like
to share with you a lovely experience I have just had.”
As I
sat down he said, “Did you happen to notice that elderly gentleman whom I just
helped into the elevator?” I replied affirmatively.
Then
President Young related to me the following experience. That man, who appeared
to be in his eighties, had approached him earlier that afternoon, and President
Young had detected from the man’s broken English that he was of Germanic
origin.
“Are
you President Young?” he queried. “Levi Edgar Young?” came his next question. President
Young responded affirmatively to both inquiries. “
“Were
you ever a missionary for your Church?” President Young informed him that he
had been engaged in several missions.
“Were
you ever a missionary in Germany?”
“Yes,
I served a mission in Germany,“ came the reply. “In fact, that was my first
mission. I was about nineteen years old.”
“Did
you ever labor in a city of Leipzig?”
“yes,
that was my first field of labor.”
Then
this elderly man continued: “Do you remember a time when you were tracting on
the third floor of an apartment building? As you attempted to give a man on of
your tracts and a brief message, he became very angry. He struck you, threw you
down the stairs, and continued to maul you until you reached the street, where
he left you lying in the gutter bruised and bleeding. Do you remember that?”
President
Young said that he had to ponder this question for some time before he could
remember it.
With
tears coursing down his aged cheeks, this man dropped to his knees and pleaded:
“President Young. I am that man. I have waited over fifty years for this day
that I might come here and ask your forgiveness for what I did to you at that
time. I did accept your message later and became a member of the Church. Since
then I have tried to do what is right. I have come here now to ask your
forgiveness.”
After
gaining control of his own feelings, President young responded, “Of course,
dear Brother. I forgave you. Don’t you remember that I turned and forgave you
while I was lying in the gutter?”
Then
President Young continued: “Brother Babbel, because I honestly forgave that man
as sincerely as Jesus Forgave those who maligned him while he hung on the
cross, the memory of that even had been taken from me completely. Until this
good Brother brought it to my attention, it had never crossed my mind.”
Then
he shared with me this sterling counsel: “This is one of the great lessons we
have to learn in life. The Lord has said, “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I
will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.’ (D&C 64:10.)
It is pleasing to him if we forgive the moment that such an incident occurs.
“When
this is done,” he concluded, “the load is lifted from you and the healing
influence can go from you to make the matter right. On the other hand, if that
person who was guilty of the offense does not seek forgiveness, he will carry
the burden that will weigh him down and become more distressing with each passing
year. What compassion I feel for this elderly brother who has lived with his
tormented conscience for over fifty years!”
The Curse of
Resentments
Later
when I was living in the Portland, Oregon, area, an urgent call came from a
valued friend who had been bedfast for nearly a year. Now his condition was
critical.
When
I reached his home, I found him resting on his front room couch. His wife was
in the adjoining dining room, ironing his burial clothes.
He
told me that his family doctor had informed him earlier that afternoon that his
life was nearing its end and that it was now only a matter of a day or two, or
perhaps a week at the most, until he would expire. Then he remarked: “The
strange thing about this whole matter is that the doctors still do not know
what is wrong with me. They just know that I am dying. Tonight I just felt that
I wanted to visit with you before I prepare to meet my Maker.”
While
continuing our conversation, I received a divine insight as to what his real
problem was. “Brother,” I responded, “I believe I know what is wrong.”
He
seemed started, but genuinely interested, as he urged, “Please tell me.”
“You’ve
had a number of very serious hurts and disappointments in your life,” I said,
“that have filled you with bitter resentment. Many of these have never been
resolved.”
He
seemed incredulous and somewhat apprehensive as he inquired, “What do you know
about them?”
“Not
a thing,” I replied, “unless you tell me about them. I only perceive that you
have been deeply hurt many times. Yet you have never forgiven those who were
responsible for these offenses.”
“Well,
I must admit,” he countered, “that I have had some pretty bitter experiences.
But since I accepted the gospel, I believe that I could forgive those who were
responsible if they asked for my forgiveness.”
“But
that is not how the principle of forgiveness works,” I said. “When any serious
grievance takes place, the Lord requires us to forgive the guilty party the
moment the infraction occurs, if possible.”
I related
to my friend the experience that President Levi Edgar Young had shared with me
earlier. I could tell that he was beginning to get the message. I inquired
whether or not he had ever visited the rattlesnake farm near Salem, Oregon,
where they extract venom and process small cans of rattlesnake meat for
venturesome gourmets. He said that he had heard of the farm but had not been
there.
“Recently
I heard of an experience that was conducted there,” I said. “One of the
caretakers took one of his large rattlesnakes and put a forked stick behind its
head so it could not coil to strike. Then he began to tantalize it with small
chicks and other food. The snake kept trying to coil unsuccessfully, and venom
dripped quite freely form its fangs. Within minutes the snake stiffened and
died.
“The
caretaker then commented that a rattlesnake can stand just about anything
except its own venom. When it cannot discharge the venom as fast as it is
produced, it dies of its own accumulated poison.”
Then
I suggested to my friend that his own condition somewhat paralleled that of the
snake: “When you have any resentment, hurt, bitterness, or hatred in your
heart, regardless of the cause, if you do not get rid of it at once through the
spirit of forgiveness, the hatred will continue to fester and grow and
increase, since that is the basic Law of the Harvest. Unless contained, these
negative feelings will finally consume and destroy the person who harbors them.
This is what has been troubling you and what, even now, has brought you to the
point of death.”
My
friend began to sob unashamedly. In the process he removed his nightshirt and
showed me his bare back. I had never seen a back like this, not even in the
concentration camps in Europe. Across his back were large criss-crossed scars
that were scabbed over with ugly flesh. Some of them were so deep a person
could almost lay his arm in them.
Then
he related to me how his father used to come home occasionally in a mean,
drunken stupor. His temper would flare up and he would take a heavy whip from
the wall and flog whatever was within
reach. This whip, a “cat o’ nine tails,” was leather with several strands. At
the end of each strand was fastened a large brass ball with metal spikes that
could tear the hide off an animal.
On
one occasion my friend was the victim. Just fourteen years old at the time, he
was whipped into unconsciousness. How long he lay on the floor he did not know,
but as he regained consciousness, he found himself lying in a pool of his own
blood, with his back fairly torn to shreds. He managed somehow to crawl from
his house, and he vowed he would never return.
At
this point I interrupted, “You’ve kept that promise, haven’t you?”
“Yes,”
he replied.
“You’ve
never forgiven your father for that flogging, have you?” I next inquired.
“No,
I guess not,” was his reply. “But if dad were to ask for my forgiveness, I
think I could forgive him now.”
“I’m
concerned,” I said, “that you still don’t understand the underlying principle.
You have had the divine responsibility of forgiving your father from the moment
that you regained consciousness, so that the healing power of forgiveness could
come into your own life and relieve you of this terrible burden. In doing so,
you might also have started the process of healing for your father as well. But
because you have continued to nurture this resentment, it has festered and
grown until it is literally consuming you. In addition, I feel you still have a
number of other resentments against others that likewise have never been
resolved. These are adding to your burden and hastening your untimely death.”
My
friend then recalled numerous other cases throughout Canada, Montana, and the
Pacific Northwest, none of which had been resolved.
“Where
does your father live?” I asked next.
“The
last I knew, he was living in North Dakota,” my friend responded. “I haven’t
see him or been in touch with him for over forty years.”
When
we finished talking I invited him to sit upon a chair so I could give him a
special blessing and outline for him what must be done. In the blessing he was
instructed to get out of bed the following morning, take his wife, and drive to
his father’s home in North Dakota, with the assurance that his father was still
alive. He was also to drive to the homes of all the other people against whom
he had resentments, no matter where they lived.”
In
each case he was to ask for their forgiveness for having harbored resentments
against them. “Don’t go there and try to persuade them to beg for your
forgiveness,” I admonished. “Rather, your assignment is to ask their
forgiveness for your having failed to make a reconciliation these many years.”
The blessing outlined how he was to ask for such forgiveness. In addition, I
blessed him with the necessary strength to accomplish this task successfully.
About
four or five weeks later my friend stopped his car in our driveway. As he
stepped out of his car, I greeted him with, “Brother, you’re a well man now,
aren’t you?”
“Yes,”
he responded, “I haven’t felt this good in many years.”
He
then began to relate to me his experiences. He told me about meeting his aged
father, who was now in his eighties and nearly blind. When his father came to
the door, he inquired in his usual gruff manner, “Who are you?”
My
friend informed him that he was his son. Still rather brusquely, his father
responded, “Well, what do you want now?”
My
friend answered: “Dad, I have come home to ask for your forgiveness. For years
I have held a bitter resentment against you for what you did to me when I was a
young man. I had no right to feel resentment toward you. Can you forgive me for
holding a grudge all these years?”
He
said that his father looked stunned for a moment. Then he broke down and cried,
threw his arms around his son, and sobbed, “Son, I’m the one who should have
asked for your forgiveness, but I didn’t have the courage. Can you forgive me?”
Then
my friend added: “You know, we made a complete reconciliation. The spirit of
peace and forgiveness flooded both of our lives. I had a similar experience in
every home I visited, as you directed me to do in my blessing. Today I am a
happy, healthy man. I am at peace with myself and with my Lord.”
Within
six months my friend was the third-highest sales producer for the large life
insurance company he represented. Just before Christmas he and his wife were
called to go on a special mission to New Zealand. More than thirty years later,
as far as I am aware, he is still very much alive, enjoying life and serving
his fellowmen—this man who was doomed to die in 1951!
Challenges and
Benefits
These
events have had a profound influence in my own life and in the lives of many
others. This principle of forgiveness is so vital that we should be overjoyed
to put it into daily use.
When
we really understand and practice the principle of forgiveness as the Lord
outlined it, we will be doubly blessed. First, we will be freed from the burden
of accumulated resentments that continually multiply and fester when harbored
in our hearts. Second, we will activate the principle of forgiveness in our own
lives. Unless and until we forgive others, the divine law specifies that there
is no forgiveness for us, for we must be measured by the precedent we have
established in our forgiveness of others or in our own lack of forgiveness.
Third, we will hasten the principle’s purifying influence in the lives oft
those against whom our resentment is focused.
This,
then, is the standard by which we shall be measured:
… ye
ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother has
trespassed standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the
great sin.
I,
the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to
forgive all men. (D&C 64:9-109.)
As
in most matters in life, we set the standard for our own forgiveness. Since we
all need forgiveness in abundance, we should welcome the opportunity to lavish
it upon every living soul with whom we come in contact, including our bitterest
enemies!
No
one can have a happier life unless this principle is practiced daily to open
the doors for our own forgiveness and to bring about the healing needed in
those who have been guilty of the offense in the first place. Unless and until
we do, the greater sin remains with us since we are deliberately shortchanging
both parties involved.
In a
very real sense, harboring resentments can contribute to our own untimely death
as well as the misery of those against whom such resentments are focused.
…
Happiness is the heart that forgives.
Grateful for a God that prepares a way.
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