“God knows where that tongue has been…We don’t know!
That tongue is so infamous!”—Katy Perry on how Miley Cyrus tried to “move her
head and go deeper” after a “friendly girly kiss,” quoted in “Miley Cyrus Fires Back at Katy Perry’s Tongue Comments,” “Daily Dish” blog, Seattle
Post-Intelligencer, March 6, 2014
As Kramer said—famously—on Seinfeld, “Ooohhhh…Catfight!!!!”
This is what has become of the Daughters of Madonna.
A decade after the Material Girl locked lips with Britney Spears and Christina
Aguilera at MTV’s VMA ceremony, there’s some pushback about how transgressive the
pop tarts who have followed in her wake can get.
Oh, the shock isn’t that the public has reacted
adversely—notoriety is a career booster, don’t you know? But did anyone really
expect other stars to react negatively? Who'd ever think we'd go from kiss bliss to kiss diss?
I think that most people’s reactions to Katy Perry’s
comment on her former interliplucator was, “You bet!” But when you start a war,
as Ms. Perry must have known she was doing, you’d better be prepared for to play defense as much as offense, and Miley Cyrus’ consequent tweet was as inevitable as it was
devastating: “Girl if ur worried abt where tongues have been good thing ur ex
boo is ur EX BOO cause we ALL know where THAT been.”
Leave aside the spelling and grammatical issues
inherent in the tweet. (It’s best to take that up with Miley’s dad, whom one
can rightly ask why, with all his money, he never managed to get his little
girl an education in the rudiments of English.) But Ms. Cyrus, for all her
deficiencies in this department, shows that she has learned to observe, not merely to twerk.
Although, come to think of it, almost anyone with the
least knowledge of pop culture would know that John Mayer, Ms. Perry’s “EX-BOO,”
is one who would make anyone who would take up with him wonder “where that
tongue has been.” I mean, there have been multiple photo galleries on the Web
devoted to the women he’s been with! Let’s see: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Vanessa
Carlton, Minka Kelly, Jennifer Aniston, and Taylor Swift. Oh, yes, and Jessica
Simpson, whose prowess in amour the guitarist likened—infamously, and unkindly—to
“sexual napalm” and “crack cocaine.”
With Mayer, it's never a case of "Who You Love," but who don't you love.
