for good attitudes

We stopped at the Mogollon Rim on our way home from the cabin to take some Christmas card pictures. I don't think anyone really wanted to do it, but they did it anyway, and without any grumbling, even. They had such great attitudes and made each other laugh the whole time. I am thankful for these happy people.

for togetherness

We went to Mike's parents' cabin in the mountains for Thanksgiving. It was just his parents and us, which gave us lots of time together without distractions, and I realized that we are happiest when we are together. I am thankful for this little family Heavenly Father has blessed me with, and I am thankful for the time we get to spend together.

for words of wisdom

Everyday my mom sends a scripture or quote to her posterity via email. I love seeing them pop up in my inbox. Usually it is something that I need to hear that day. I loved this quote from Elder Nelson that she sent this morning. I feel a heavy weight on my shoulders in my responsibilities at church right now, so it was nice to be reminded that if I follow Jesus Christ, I will be able to accomplish the impossible. I am thankful that my mom started sending these daily emails a couple of years ago. I feel like they help bind my family together, even though we are scattered across the country.

for kids who like each other

I heard laughter coming from the living room as I was in the kitchen working on dinner. After a long day of fasting, my kids were waiting to go to Nana's house to eat. They could have been grumpy with one another but they weren't. They were having fun together. I am thankful for kids who genuinely like each other. I love that Mabel will come home from a stake dance and stay up late telling Oliver all about it, and that Elliot wants to sleep in Stella's room any night that's not a school night. They will have each other much longer than they will have me and Mike, and so I am grateful for their friendship.

a new school year and a new theme

School starts today! I sent everyone off this morning and now the house is quiet. I wasn't quite ready for summer to end, so I feel a little bit glum here all alone. My kids get along well together and I think they are so fun to be around, so I'll miss having them home. Our house was an especially happy one this summer.

Stella and Oliver are off to 4th and 7th grades. They attend the same school, a sort of magnet school in our district with a more rigorous curriculum. Mabel is a sophomore in high school, in the International Baccalaureate program. Her schedule looks so hard this year, but she is a bright girl and I know she'll do all right! And then sweet Elliot is in 2nd grade at our neighborhood elementary.

I like to pick a theme each school year. It gives us something to think about as we start a new year. With Mabel's intense load, and Oliver starting junior high, and Stella at a new, more difficult school, I was afraid we would get loaded down with work. I want to make sure that we always put God first, so I chose a scripture from Matthew that says, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

My hope is that our family will put prayer, scripture study, service, and family time ahead of school and homework and anything else. I have seen that in my own life, when I have put a greater priority on my spiritual wellbeing, everything else falls into place.

Here's to a new year!

happy weekend

It's our first week of summer vacation. Hooray! We have big plans to clean out backpacks, get doughnuts, and load up on books at the library. And then go swimming. Because summer in Arizona equals swimming.

Also, it's 7:45 am and Elliot has already told me that there's nothing to do. Ha! Guess what, Elliot? Summer is about being bored, so get used to it. :)

Mike got the kids involved in planning our summer trip. They had lots of fun looking at all of the options together and then voting for Family Home Evening. Still not sure what we'll end up doing, but I am looking forward to it all the same!

Here's a quick neat video about my surfboard shaper brother, Matt.

And here's a little longer video made from one of my favorite General Conference talks about hearing the music of the gospel.

Have a great weekend!

the main thing

I must not have learned this lesson yet, because I keep coming across things that remind me to focus on what is most important in my life and to not worry so much about the rest. I seem to go through waves of feeling like I can handle my load and feeling like it's going to swallow me up. Lately, I have been feeling overwhelmed and swallowed. In the quiet hours of my Sunday morning yesterday, I sought comfort and inspiration from the keynote address at last week's Women's Conference at BYU. The keynote speech, by Sister Sharon Eubank, was wonderful. But it was in the brief message by President Kevin J. Worthen, President of BYU, given before Sister Eubank spoke that I found what I needed to hear.

He said, "I know life well enough to know that for all of you sooner or later and for most of us multiple times, there are struggles in life. We live in some very challenging times. There is turmoil, lack of civility, our values are under attack and then you add to that the complexities of our own individual lives. And we can feel that we are at war because in one sense, we are at war. In such times I am reminded of advice that was received by Major General Robert Scales . . . in Vietnam . . . his platoon sergeant said, 'Men, in combat, the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. Otherwise you die.' We can get ourselves caught up in lots of different causes and worries and concerns and in those situations, when everything seems to be swirling around us, what we need to keep in mind is the main thing. What is that main thing? Alma 7:7 records it this way: 'For Behold, I say unto you there be many things to come; and behold, there is one thing which is of more importance than they all--for behold, the time is not far distant that the Redeemer liveth and cometh among his people.'

"That is the main thing. The gospel of Jesus Christ--the good news that as a result of Christ, we can have hope no matter what the situation, we can have help even when we think we are helpless. There is no problem He cannot help us solve as a result of His great sacrifice for us. . . In those moments when life seems to be completely complex and out of control and we have no hope at all, if we will think about Jesus, we will be blessed."

So this week I am going to try to keep the main thing the main thing. I am going to try to let the less important things slide away out of my vision, and keep my eyes fixed on Jesus Christ. I will repeat to myself the words "faith and family" when I am feeling overwhelmed. Because my faith and my family are what keep me anchored. When they are my focus, the rest doesn't feel quite so overwhelming or important.


photo from Mabel's incredible Millennial Choir and Orchestra concert last weekend

for parents

Sometimes the responsibility of parenting these children feels really heavy and I wonder if I am teaching them everything they need to know. Well, on Friday night, Mike and I attended a special meeting just for parents, held here in the Phoenix Metropolitan area. Elder Ballard and Elder Rasband were in attendance, as well as other general authorities from our church. It was a casual, candid setting and I really enjoyed learning from these men. I promised to share my notes here. I hope you find them as helpful as I did.

On overcoming spiritual apathy: Elder Ballard suggested making prayer, scripture study, family home evening, and family councils a priority. Never allow our love for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ to be secondary to other things. Don't give ourselves or our children time to become apathetic. Be anxiously engaged in the gospel together.

On social media: Elder Rasband said that we need to strategize. We need to be prayerful and come up with a plan to protect our children from the negative effects of social media. We need to create an environment where our children can come to us with questions. As we answer their questions, we should try to use the Savior's words. We need to set boundaries together on internet/social media use as a family council.

Elder Robbins talked about how unfortunately our children sometimes seek their self worth in the internet. They compare themselves to the perfection they see portrayed there and can feel diminished. He says youth are looking for their identity on the internet, so point them toward family history work. This will help them find their true identity. The more time they spend on the internet, the lower their self worth will be. As parents, we need to help them to not be idle, and to retire early and arise early. Revelation comes best in the early morning hours. Also, Heavenly Father often publicly praised His Son. How often do we do that? We need to catch our children doing good and praise them for it. If we observe them, we can give them a true reflection of who they really are. Make a conscious effort to notice the good. We are their best mirror and can help them recognize their worth. Also, use For the Strength of Youth to plan family home evening lessons.

On pornography: Elder Costa made four good points. 1- Assume they have been exposed to it already. 2- Hold frequent father interviews. Guided by the spirit, ask questions to determine if it is a pattern or just a single incident. 3- Turn on our devices only once our intention is clear. Once you have accomplished your purpose, turn them off again. Don't idly scroll. 4- Have hope. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, anything can be overcome, including pornography.

On preparing for missions: Elder Ballard had some great advice. He said preparation should start early. Make sure our children know our expectations. Know your child's friends. Help them get a job and earn some money so that they know how to work. Help them be responsible for their own things. Teach them to pick up after themselves. Help them to read the Book of Mormon on their own and gain a testimony of it. Sit with your children and have them bear their testimony of Jesus Christ to you. If they can't, or aren't sure of His role in their life, help them to learn about Him. Read Preach My Gospel together. Teach them the value of one soul. Help them to understand what Christ did in Gethsemane for each of us.

I don't remember who said this, but we need to respect our child's agency. We teach them the doctrine, but we have to leave them at the crossroads of decision, trusting that the Holy Ghost will guide them and that they will listen.

california, last week

A quick California recap, instagram style.

Leslie flew into my town and then drove with me to California to see my other sister, Julianne, who was visiting with her kids (including brand new darling Helena). The three of us span the distance of the United States and it's not very often that we are all together.

There is just something about the ocean breeze and the sound of the waves pounding the sand. I don't get to the beach nearly often enough, and it felt so good. Especially because I was there with my sisters and my mom!

I have two brothers still in Southern California. Lincoln is a dentist. Elliot and Lincoln's son, David, are best buddies. And Stella and cousin Sadie pick up right where they left off every single time. Cousin friends are the best kinds of friends.

My other Southern California brother is Matt, of Album Surf. We visited his shop in San Clemente and loaded up on Album stickers (which now cover everything in my house) and Album shirts and baby Helena smiles, too.

We spent a really nice morning with my grandparents, who live in Orange. I grew up just a minute away from them and their house still feels like home.

And of course, Ruby's! My cute sister-in-law, Mimi, snapped this photo of our crew. Fun times. Yummy veggie burgers.

Can't wait to go back.

recommitted

I've heard this quote from Marion G. Romney lots of times, but our stake president reminded me of it yesterday during our ward conference and I wanted to share it here: "I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity --the pure love of Christ-- will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness."

There are so many really wonderful promises in that little paragraph. We try to read the Book of Mormon together as a family during dinner, but hearing this quote again yesterday made me want to make sure we don't miss a night. I want the blessings that Elder Romney promised for my family, and I know that we can have them if we are faithful and diligent in our reading.

Something else that I loved that Elder Romney said in his talk: "If we would avoid adopting the evils of the world, we must pursue a course which will daily feed our minds with and call them back to the things of the Spirit. I know of no better way to do this than by daily reading the Book of Mormon."

I have read the Book of Mormon lots of times in my life, but I have really grown to love it the past few years (not coincidentally because I've made studying it, not just reading it, a higher priority in my life). I find answers to my questions on how to parent my children, how to love my neighbor, and how to follow Jesus Christ in its pages. I find strength to stay true to my religion, and most of all, I find peace.

I'd love to share a copy of it with you, if you'd like. Email me at barefootstephanie@gmail.com and I'll pop one in the mail to you!

fhe

Tonight's Family Home Evening was sort of a bust. That happens sometimes. We went all over town looking for ornaments for our tree. Every year, the kids pick out a new ornament, and then when they are grown and have a tree of their own, they will have a box full of memories to add to their decorations. It's one of my favorite traditions. We'll have to try again this weekend. When we got home, we watched the video I posted yesterday for the #LighttheWorld campaign. I think the 25 days of service are just what our family needs this Christmas season. I bore my testimony to my children about the importance of serving like Jesus Christ did. And then we had family prayer and sent the little kids to bed.

I am thankful for Family Home Evening, even when it's not as successful as I would like it to be. I love that one night a week is specifically set aside for our family to be together. It is the best place to teach the gospel to my children, and a good time to have fun as a family. I love this family of mine and putting away housework and homework and everything else for a little while to be with them fills my heart with gratitude.

siblings

This morning, Stella and Elliot were complaining that they were bored so I sent them downstairs and told them them to play a game. Next thing I knew, extreme giggling was coming from the basement family room. I am so grateful that my children are friends with each other. I've never been good at setting up playdates for them, and I am thankful that they have learned to play so well with each other instead. I especially love it when Oliver joins in.

We had a really relaxing day at home filled with leftovers and pajamas and naps. I hope you did, too!

family

In lieu of a conference report today, I thought I'd share two great quotes about families. This one above is from Elder Maxwell and reminds me of the importance of my role at home. The work I do here is simple and mostly mundane, but it is the most important work of my life.

And if I wasn't already a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I think I'd join just for the visiting teaching program. Every woman in our church is assigned a partner and a few other women to visit and teach. Every month, we are encouraged to visit these sisters in their homes and share a message with them. But it's so much more than that. Friendship and love grows, service is given, and hearts are touched. This month's visiting teaching message included the following quote from Julie B. Beck, the former Relief Society (women's organization) president:

"The creation of the earth provided a place where families could live. God created a man and a woman who were the two essential halves of a family. It was part of Heavenly Father's plan that Adam and Eve be sealed and form an eternal family. The fall made it possible for them to have sons and daughters. Christ's Atonement allows for the family to be sealed together eternally. It allows for families to have eternal growth and perfection. The plan of happiness, also called the plan of salvation, was created for families. This was Christ's doctrine. Without the family, there is no plan; there is no reason for mortal life."

This is it. This is everything. This life at home is the reason I am here. I really believe that! So when I am feeling bogged down, or discouraged, or unappreciated, I am going to come back and reread these quotes. And then I'll get up and get back to work.

For more about the purpose of families, look here.

Pretty graphic from Allison Kimball.


Have a safe Halloween!

cabin life

Mike's parents have a cabin in the mountains, about two and a half hours away. Since Mike and the kids are off on fall break this week, we spent a few days there unwinding in the cool, non-internet connected air.

Cabin life means pulling out our warmest clothes and realizing that we don't have any warm clothes.

It means long walks in the evenings.

And two out of four kids who willingly pose for photos.

Cabin life means at least one night around the fire pit roasting marshmallows.

And it means lots of lazy afternoons, reading books or playing games.

My favorite thing about going to the cabin is seeing my kids happy together. They genuinely get along with each other, and I love the bonds of friendship they form when it's just our little family without any distractions. If I was an emoji, I'd have all the heart eyes.

And now I think we are ready to get back at it. Maybe? Well, after this weekend, for sure. School (and all the housework), here we come. In a few days. :)

here we go!

Oliver left first, bright and early this morning. Because he is now in 6th grade, he will have an extra hour of instruction in the afternoon, so it will be a longer day than he is used to. Other than that, he is at the same school with the same friends as he has been for the past two years. He attends a public school in our district with a more rigorous academic curriculum than our regular neighborhood school. He is doing well there and I am grateful for that option.

There were a little more jitters in our second group. Mabel is off to high school! She will be a third generation Warrior, as she gets to attend the same high school that Mike and his mom both attended, where she will be doing the International Baccalaureate program. She is nervous, but I know she'll do great. She is bright and kind and so capable. She is excited to be out of uniforms, but of course that led to a little outfit stress this morning. Ha!

Elliot will be in all day first grade, much to his chagrin. I know he'll love it once he's there (he is especially excited to eat lunch in the cafeteria), but he thinks that all day is going to feel really long. It probably will. I sense an extra early bedtime tonight.

And Stella is ready in her cat pants to take on third grade!

Hooray!

a quick trip to California

Mike and the boys and I headed west last week, and we didn't stop until we reached the coast. I have two brothers and my grandparents still in southern California, where I grew up, and it was high time we had a visit. Since all of the girls were in Utah for granddaughter's week, the boys had the run of things.

Cousin Henry, visiting from Massachusettes, showed us his muscles. Cousin David showed these out-of-towners how to dig.

That's my oldest brother, Elliott, in the background. (He lives in Massachusetts.) I don't think Oliver came up for air once he had that boogie board in his hands. He also tried surfing (thanks to my patient brother, Matt) and it makes me wonder what he would be like if he was able to do these things more often. I don't think I've ever seen him smile so big.

One night, we all got together at my brother, Matt's house and celebrated my beautiful grandmother's 86th birthday with my sister-in-law's fresh peach cake.

And then the next night, we went to my grandma's cozy house, one of my favorite places to be.

My brother, Elliott, and his wife, Ginger, and their youngest, Henry, were there with us. Album Surf shirts are sort of the family uniform.

My grandpa was there too, of course. There were lots of old photos to look at and stories to tell and yummy food to eat and good company to enjoy.

It was a quick trip, but I got to see the ocean, laugh with all three of my brothers at the same time, hug my grandparents, drive by the house I grew up in, and eat a veggie burger at Ruby's! A success all around, I'd say.

powerful nurturing

In Sacrament meeting yesterday, one of the speakers quoted from Julie B. Beck's 2005 article, Powerful Nurturing. I loved the quote so much that I went home from church and looked up the whole thing. Because school starts soon, and because I need a little reminder about why family dinners are so important, I'd like to share the article here for my weekly conference report.

Basically, the gist of the article is that women and mothers are "primarily responsible for the nurture of their children." (From the Proclamation on the Family) And to nurture means to "feed, foster, care for, or rear." So, as the woman and mother in my home, it is my job to feed my family. But it turns out that feeding my family can be about so much more than the food!

Sister Beck says, "As a young mother I did not fully understand my power as a nurturer. Though we were a busy family, I considered everyone's presence at dinnertime nonnegotiable. It was our most consistent gathering time, and everyone planned to eat together before going on to other activities. I learned of the influence of my nurturing when our youngest daughter wrote in a college paper: 'Dinner in our home was not just an eating ritual, but a special time for the family to communicate and to share our thoughts and stories of the day. ... We often sat together for over an hour as we savored the conversation as much as the food.'

"I thought I was just cooking casseroles and soup. But I had created the venue, the reason to gather. Because I prepared a meal to share with my family, something special happened. ... Mothers who are 'primarily responsible for the nurture of their children,' can be a powerful force for strengthening families when they use mealtimes to gather loved ones. They follow the example of the Savior to calm, teach, and help their families remember important things as they feed, cultivate, educate, and rear at the consecrated tables in their homes."

I'm not sure what our dinner routine will look like this new school year. Last year, we ate at 4:30 every afternoon. But I do know that sitting down together and eating as a family every night is one of the best things I can do for my children, and is worth whatever sacrifice we have to make for it to happen. As my children have grown, our dinner time experience has changed. I feel like it just keeps getting better and better, and hopefully more of the teaching that Sister Beck mentions will begin to take place.

Read the entire (really short!) article here.

summer in Sundance, part one

We spent last week at my parent's house in beautiful Sundance, Utah, where I learned that one week is not long enough in that place! I was homesick for it the minute we left. Luckily, I took a ton of pictures.

My sister, Leslie, and her family were there with us. We gathered the cousins for our traditional cousin bench photo outside the Foundry Grill. Too bad we are missing the other 13.5!

Just up the road from my parents' house is a beautiful stretch of manicured lawn. We borrowed it one perfect evening for some frisbee.

Every summer, I try to snap a photo of Stella snuggling my dad. It's never difficult to do. :)

This walk through the ferns leads to the Sundance stables (and then to lots of paths through the mountains). This night, we stopped to feed the horses some carrots.

Stella and Elliot braved a lift ride with my mom.

And a trip to Sundance in the summer is never complete without a dip in my mom's friends' pool. She lives in Provo Canyon, high up and away from the world.

And to the boys' delight, she just finished installing a real live baseball field on her property. It was so fun. But I mean, that view!

more to come . . .

happy weekend

Do you have a pet? We have a cat. Her name is Inez. As far as cats go, she is really great. She stays off most of the furniture, she goes outside to use the bathroom, and I've never seen a hairball. Aside from the occasional lizard or bird parts I find on the stairs, I'd say she's the best pet we could have. Which actually isn't saying much, because to be honest, I'm not a pet person. And so why she has chosen me, the only person in our house who ignores her, to be her favorite is a total mystery. I laid down the other day to take a nap and she crawled right up on my chest. Mike will be petting her, and she will be completely content, and then I will walk into the room and she'll leave him to come to me. I don't ever intentionally touch her because then I will start sneezing, so why, why does she love me the best?

In other news, tonight Oliver has a campout, Mabel is babysitting, and Stella is having a late night with her cousins. Phew! What are Mike and Elliot and I going to do?

I just finished reading Brooklyn and The Nightingale. I'd easily recommend both.

I just can't get behind the high-waisted denim look.

And here's a super cool little video about my talented surfboard-making brother, Matt.

Have a happy weekend!

Easter, in a few pictures and one really great quote

Mike rushed home between his meetings yesterday so that we could set the camera on the piano and use the self-timer to snap a family photo all dressed up in our Easter best. I shared this one on instagram, along with this really great quote from Elder Holland:

"One of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so."

I believe that with all my heart. We don't ever need to feel alone in this life, because Jesus Christ is always there. He has felt our pain and suffered for our sins. All He asks is that we follow Him. I am so glad we have a holiday dedicated to celebrating this extraordinary gift.

The girls and I wore our peach and blush and cream dresses, all made by me. I used the same pattern for the girls' dresses (Butterick 3350), and you can see that it lends itself to customization well. Mabel's was made for a school dance and Stella's for her baptism. I used Simplicity 2180 for my dress, which I've made a few times before for myself (seen here at my sister's wedding) and clients. This time I used a blush chiffon, and swapped out the sleeve band for some soft, gathered ruffles. I wanted something feminine and flowy. My favorite part of this pattern is the v-neck back, snapped accidentally by photographer Oliver:

We went to Mike's parents' house that night for dinner and an egg hunt. So many cousins!

It was a really great day. I hope yours was, too.