Dwelling crankily....

"The Pope's expected apology to victims of sexual abuse by priests has been sabotaged by a senior Australian bishop, who criticized people for "dwelling crankily on old wounds".


The bishop organizing World Youth Day, Anthony Fisher, made the remarks in response to questions about two Melbourne women who were repeatedly raped by priest Kevin O'Donnell when they were pupils at Sacred Heart Primary School in Oakleigh from 1988 to 1993."

It all sounds suspiciously like the Pope's visit to America. Oh, I'm sure the bishop will do damage control now, and say he didn't mean it, not like that at least. Not in the context in which he said it. A reporter asked the bishop what he thought of the show the previous week regarding the Kevin O'Donnell story. But the bishop replied he hadn't seen the show.........

"Happily, I think most of Australia was enjoying, delighting in, the beauty and goodness of these young people … rather than dwelling crankily, as a few people are doing, on old wounds"

Who exactly are these cranky people to which he is referring?

Two sisters who were repeatedly raped by the abusive priest Father Kevin O'Donnell in Melbourne while they were in primary school.....over the course of 5 years.

This is Emma. She turned to drugs to "make her forget and dull the pain", she eventually committed suicide in January of this year after ten years of therapy. Her sister Katherine turned to alcohol and now needs 24-hour care after being hit by a car.

"We are still grieving over our daughters, and many other victims are struggling every day. To think this issue is over when the abuse stops is ridiculous. There are people self-harming, committing suicide, drinking, using drugs, because of sexual assaults committed by Catholic priests.

There are no old wounds for victims. It is always current."

The Fosters are planning to make a statement upon the Pope's arrival in Australia. Mr. Foster says:

"I expect the Pope and Cardinal Pell to respond to that statement.

I should not have to try to see them.

They should be coming to us to beg our forgiveness."

And so who is Cardinal Pell? Well, he is the scumbag who was handling the sex abuse claims on behalf of the Catholic Church. He told one victim "Well it's your word against his!" And yet now.......today, he says it was an innocent error on his part after his letters and phone calls were revealed on TV. He's even gone so far as to cover-up abuse that HE WAS AWARE OF and has now threatened another sexual abuse survivor in order to keep him quiet.

The Catholic Church is not capable of cleaning up it's act, as long as they are doing it from within. It's sort of like asking Sosen to clean up it's own act. Perhaps the Bishop, the Cardinal and the Pope could join Sosen and lend them their support. After all, they both think survivors of sexual assault are "professional victims" and after all..........Linda Pehrson, the CEO of Sosen would proudly educate the Church, why she'd be happy to. She could just say her usual,

"There is life after sexual abuse DEAL WITH IT"

Ulterior Motives

Reposted from July 19, 2007

Perverts have a new plan, yeah. They have a petition they want people to sign. But before we take a look at what's on it, let's see what a pervert is:






Here we have Unico


<=====


He tells us clearly what he thinks about little girls, doesn't he?







And here we have Abraxas

===>


He strongly supports this petition.


An Urgent Call to Support the Well-Being of Children and the Rights of Us All

1. Abolish all provisions of state and Federal sex offender registries that publicly shame offenders. There should be no internet or other public posting of the identity, photograph, address, workplace or personal information of any offender.......
   In cases of genuinely violent sex crimes, especially against young children, and with a specific finding of a likelihood to re-offend, registration may be required, but information will be shared only among police officials.........
   Strong penalties should be levied against police or others privy to the registration information who violate the privacy of the offenders



2. Abolish all life-time civil commitment for sex offenders who have completed prison sentences and/or parole and probation
   In cases of violent offenses and specific findings of a likelihood to re-offend, carefully constructed court hearings, with medical advice and full due process, should determine if the person may be further incarcerated, and then only for a short time and with regular review



3. Stop public vilification and demonization of sex offenders. Oppose the use in the media or by public officials of obviously pejorative language with regard to offenders. Use of the term "pedophile" should be extremely limited and accurate. Children should be defined as persons under the age of puberty.



4. De-criminalize all consensual sexual activities among teenagers. Stop all required sex offender registration for minors



5. Abolish all laws that provide the death penalty or life in prison without parole for sex offenders.



6. Support broad sex education for children, and empower them to make their own decisions and stand up for their rights



7. Provide accurate information and support valid research about sex offender characteristics and recidivism rates



8. Help sex offenders re-enter society by abolishing measures which make it difficult for them to find a place to live and a decent job. Encourage support groups for sex offenders, including help with finding housing, employment and effective treatment, before their release and afterward

Yes, Abraxas likes it.......sorta

" Though this reform does not go far enough--none has yet for me--it is a great beginning toward common sense and justice.

THIS IS A MUST READ!"



I wonder what Jessica Lundsford would think of all that?




Or Dylan Groen?

Or all the people walking this earth today who are carrying the scars left by men who think of them as throw-away objects.

Yes, I wonder what they think of this petition.

But I think we may have an answer from the pen of one of GirlChat's finest. The infamous Turtle explains what they all show us everyday........the scorn they feel for CSA survivors.



"why do i read posts by angry "christian" women that go on and on about how sick and evil it is and how their lives were ruined?

are you that weak minded? do you have to find someone else to blame for your own personal failures?

it was one event,it shouldnt ruin your life. kids in other countries live through much worse. stop whining,and put the blame where it belongs:on your own shoulders. sex is a beautiful thing and only becomes perverted when you decide that it is perverted"


95% of all child molestations are committed by pedophiles. Pedophiles mock society, they mock children, they mock parents and they mock sex abuse victims. They have nothing to offer this world but misery and heartache. They are all filthy pedophiles. And if they try to pull the number on you...."they just LOVE children, oh no they aren't the child molesters..........they are the true child lovers" well you can rest assured that they are LYING. It's one of the things they do best.

Recovered memories of childhood abuse -From Thrivers

Article By:Jane Rowan

Why are memories of abuse so often hidden? This is a really hard question for people in recovery from abuse, for therapists, and for researchers. In my case, I didn't recognize one of my early childhood memories as a memory of abuse until I was in my fifties. Then physical memories started to come back to me, memories that led me to know my father had sexually abused me. How could such a big betrayal remain hidden in the back corners of a psyche for years and years? Can we really believe memories that have been hidden so long?

It's very common for survivors of childhood sexual abuse to suppress the memories. (Studies say from 30% to 60% of survivors experience loss of memories of abuse.) When the memories come back up, they are often in fragmentary form-a touch, a feeling of nausea, a smell, a fraction of a scene. This fragmentation has a physiological cause. The stress hormones released during frightening events suppress the hippocampus, a part of the brain vital for integrating memories. And of course, we don't get social reinforcement for recalling such things-in fact, we are forbidden to speak of them and to make them real through sharing.

The book that helped me the most with the question of recovered memories was Betrayal Trauma, by Jennifer Freyd. Freyd explains that forgetting is functional for the child because it enables her to remain in contact with the family that is essential for her survival. The closer the relationship with the abuser, the more important it is to forget the abuse in order to keep that relationship working, problematic though it is. Freyd found clear scientific data showing that kids whose abuse was reported to authorities often forgot it for years. The closer the relationship to the abuser (father vs. cousin, for example), the more likely the forgetting.

Isn't that stunning? Yet it makes total sense. I had to keep eating cornflakes every morning opposite my father and relying on him for food, learning-and yes, love. I could not allow myself to remember the abuse in the night.

Over time, I've come to believe the memories brought to me by my inner child more and more firmly. They are not as clear as "Kodak moments," but they are true.

For more information on this and many topics... Read More Here

The painful truth

OPRAH (Full Show) With Judy Cornetts Story
From AZUVioletLeaves & AZUBRD "Thrivers"



This video is a about a Mother’s pain and her son’s struggle to become whole and a thriver!
One thing is clear as you view this video she is a Mother on a mission. Judy also explains how her son has lived a life of pain and self harm because of what that monster did to this child.. Some as we know can never live a normal life, and his Mom has tried to help her son! The treatment this man needs now though costs tons of money. Now I ask you where is the money for these victims who need it so desperately? This child who became a man never wanted his life to become so hard and painful. But clearly it is! Boys who have been molested says many experts, will have a more difficult time thriving after being molested than women.

No apologies Pedophiles!

This is a video from us *Thrivers*.
We are not sorry pedophiles and child molesters. We are not sorry to those perverts we tell the truth about.

Thrivers: Survivors with attitude from Absolute Zero United. Yeah we made it and now you had better watch out! We will never stop telling the truth about you.

Don’t Call Me A “Professional Victim"

Til you have walked in my shoes. I am a Thriver, like so many other’s. We have muddled thru the pain to get to that other side in hope of some peace. I don’t wake up in the morning with a dose of meds, I thrive each day with a clear head!

Don’t call me a liar, my words are the truth, who would make this up? Who would want a lifetime of pain and fear? I didn’t “ask” for this! I didn’t “ask” for nightmares, body memories and in my late 20's have weeks of suffering while trying to “get over” a memory! AND I did this without meds, while trying to keep it together for my then small babies. That’s a thriver!

NOT A “Professional Victim”

Like so many survivors I was robbed of my childhood. We have had our souls die, robbed of my innocence, robbed of my right to just be a child. Robbed of really feeling loved, not used and then discarded. ”LOVE” is not being sexually abused by someone who is just getting their rocks off!

I, like Violet suffered sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse and verbal abuse at the hands of my dear ole Dad, which is pretty much the case for most of us, and while growing up I always wished I had been born in another family!

So when I’m called a pedo basher, a terrorist, a liar, just remember it’s people like you who made me! Now I will fight to stop you. It’s my right!

The "Professional Victim" speaks...

For months now I have read different forums that accuse me of being a professional victim.
I guess that means that I am "professionally" a victim? A victim who is a professional?
Perhaps a Professor who is a victim?

However you want to word it .. it comes out to sound that I am being slighted as a respectable person because I claim to have been abused as a child.

Odd that only pedophiles and sex offenders will say that about me. Odd that only a perverted sick mind would dismiss my claims and automatically call me a liar.

I guess hmmmm... would a "true sexual abuse survivor" stand up to people that wish to do the same to more children?
I suppose they wish that I was too poor and struggling to have a internet connection.
Or maybe if I were too selfish to care.

How ever I became involved in this fight against pedophile destroyers cannot be true.. now can it?

Isn't that the carrot calling the apple orange?

The fact is that I am a professional victim. But not by choice.

I have all the experience of not only sexual abuse, but physical abuse, mental abuse and verbal abuse.
My experience alone is more than 4 years of college!
With a degree in abandonment and I could write my Thesis on *The Up's and down's of an unwanted child*
My profession: "Victimology". I could open a clinic, and treat other abuse survivors to become *professional victims* meaning survivors with an attitude ... thus= Thrivers.

Yes Thrivers.. like me and Brd, and a whole lot of other people out there.

One big problem I have is that I feel worthless.
I could have all these degrees and certificates.. but I'd still
feel worthless.

Children who were abused often feel worthless and its a feeling that doesn't fix itself. If I feel this way.. there must be a million other's out there
that share these same feelings. The formally abused are a forgotten bunch...BUT not anymore! We won't forget about you, like most of society has.

The US Federal Government has disability payments of around $600.00 a month. Could be a little higher but it is under $700.00 a month last I knew. In order to get these payments one must be sick mentally or physically and meet other requirements. The federal government thinks disabled people are worthless obviously when they give more to other countries and tax breaks to billionaires yet these most innocent people suffer month to month, living in poverty, some in filth and in low income properties, surrounded by drugs, alcohol and violence.

Think about that for a minute. Some are survivors of childhood abuse and they are incapable of taking care of themselves because of another human being's sexual lust..or violence this person suffers forever. And he is considered lucky because so many survivors never get any help of any kind! And therefore end up never breaking the cycle and on and on it goes!

We can help each other through this by demanding that our government take care of it's own people and become a sounding voice against child predators and child molesting pedophiles and monsters.

We can fight for truth by exposing the lies pedophiles would have society believe.

We can heal each other.

We cannot let the child victims be silenced nor forgotten anymore!

My successes in life come from hard work, many sacrifices and much suffering.
No, I am not poor or living in poverty, not on government money, nor food benefits. Its not about money, fame or reputation for me.
Its not even about if you agree.
Its about what I know and what I have seen.
Its about what BRD knows and what she has seen.

We are witnesses of the most horrible kind because not only do we have the knowledge of how pedophiles and child molesters are~ but we also have an added bonus:
Attitude!

Letters to My Abusers

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you
- Maya Angelou



Letters to My Abusers is a website that offers hope to child sexual abuse survivors. As a means to empower yourself, as a means to ease the untold story inside you...this website offers something unique and powerful. It is an ongoing project in which survivors can participate as part of the healing process. I do hope that you all will visit whether or not you are a survivor. I promise, you will not come away unaffected.

One letter reprinted here with permission: Stephanie Gagos

NORMAN

Norman was an x-ray technician at a major New York hospital. My mother seemed to like him and we often went to see him at his job in between her many doctor’s appointments. The following occurred on the first and what I believe to be the last time he visited us.

Dear Norman,

I remember your white lab coat and how you worked at a hospital in the city. You were kind and pleasant, even humorous. I remember how you tried to talk to me and how I shied away from you. Then one day, there you stood at the doorway to our apartment dressed in a plaid shirt and jeans, your eyes grinning beneath your bifocals. As usual my mother was still getting ready when you arrived. I was to be your host and so I showed you to your seat and asked if you wanted a drink of water. You didn’t and instead you rambled on speaking words I can never remember. I think you made me laugh because I could feel myself moving closer to you. My mother called out to you, promising to be ready soon.

She was absent just long enough for you to molest me.

As I sat on the marble coffee table in front of your hand rested on my knee. You continued to talk to me even as your hand made its way up my skirt and into my panties. As soon as you started to touch me, I could no longer hear what you were saying to me. One by one my senses shut down, leaving only this strange sensation between my legs. I could feel myself go numb, removing my self from my body, attempting to pretend that IT wasn’t happening.

You heard my mother and stopped. Jolted by fear, I quickly went to the carpet and sat in front of the television. I pretended nothing happened but inside my heart was pounding and in between my legs the sensation of your fingers was still there. I felt as if I was the one committing the crime. There were no thoughts in those moments between the first and the second time, just the voice of my mother, calling out once again that she would be out soon.

I could hear you get up, your pants swishing, a determination in your step to once again molest me. You came to the other side of the marble table and sat on it, motioning me to stand in front of you. There as stood before you, you proceeded to touch me again between my legs. You placed my hand on your crotch and that is where my memory fades. As with most of my memories what happens afterward is a blank. What did I feel directly afterward, days and weeks later? What did I say to myself? How did I survive? Perhaps it was in the stoic numbness that I found my comfort.

For years I imagined that you and the others happened upon an opportunity to molest me, but the more I learned about men like you, the more I realized how planned our encounter was. It wasn’t until my thirties that I came to the realization that you and the others chose me long before you entered our home, long before you dared to place in between my little legs. As you asked my mother for a date, it was me you were after. I was the plan, already marked as less than human, an object chosen by you, for your satisfaction, wthout even a thought or care about what it would do to me, the girl, the human being.

And when my small body responded to you, I’m sure your twisted mind took this to mean that I wanted it. This is part of how you pretend to be sane and live an otherwise normal existence while you creep your filthy hands up little girl’s skirts. You imagine this unique connection. You imagine that this little girl likes you and wants you. That she is your girl, your special girl, there just for you and only you.

I’m here to tell you, that little girls want you as much as they want needles in their eyes, as much as they want to be set on fire or drink rat poison and die. Men like you delude themselves into believing that we are loving and wanting you back, when all that we are doing is escaping your touch; by going far, far away to a place where you cannot touch us, where your insanity cannot reach.

I now speak for the little girl I once was and that little girl never wanted you to put your dirty hands on her. She could never want you sexually or otherwise. All you did was create a physiological reaction, no wondrous feat. Nothing a real man would need to be considered a man. What you did to me goes beyond the fact that you molested me in those moments in my living room when I was ten years old. What you did forever changed who I became, who I trusted, who I gave my love to and how I walked in the world. Among the many parts of me you altered, you changed how I would feel about myself as a sexual being; making my attempts at normal sexual interaction futile and corroded by your violations of me. For years I would feel guilt about being turned on, about wanting to be close to someone sexually.

You did that.

You don’t deserve that kind of power.

Today, I choose to change how I look at myself. I choose to reclaim the power I've given you for so many years. I release the heavy darkness that comes over me when I think of you. I release the shame and guilt for having responded to you physically. I release the sadness over not being protected and not being able to protect myself. I release my anger and hatred of you, knowing that it will take time to let it all go. I release the distrust I have in all men because of the evil you showed me on that day.

As of today I embrace the sexual woman that I am and have every right to be. I embrace my divine right to my sexuality and love for my body.

I choose to take back my power and relinquish yours.

From now I on I decide who I become, who I trust, who I choose to love. I decide how I walk through this world.

As for you, you are like a dead man walking, a wasted life that could have been a light to others. There is the shame.

Stephanie

I don't know what ever happened to Norman. Like most of the men in my mother’s life, he did not stay beyond the first or second date. As I look back I can see how robotic I was and how routine it seemed for him. He seemed fearless and unashamed; I, guilty and afraid. Even upon becoming an adult, there is this emotional confusion despite being intellectually clear about who is at fault. I used to wonder why I didn't react? How could I like what he was doing to me? I felt unsure for years about how to read people. How does one know who to trust when bad men smile so gently, arouse so softly?

For years I would wonder where was the seduction, where was my resistance? How could I have been so friendly and trusting having been molested before? How could I ever trust myself? These questions would haunt me and I blamed myself for getting too close, for being “too friendly”. I blamed the little girl I was instead of putting the blame where it belonged. In retrospect I can see how deep my conditioning was to respond in a certain way, to not question authority, to accept abuse, to take on the blame. I was schooled in passivity early on which later became an engrained trait. I learned to stay very still and quiet as my abusers produced either pain or pleasure to my body. I never wanted to get in trouble or make things worse. By the time Norman came along, the perfect conditions were in place for him to safely molest me.


The attack is simple:

I sit down on the marble table.

He talks to me, smiles even. He is pleasant and gentle, confident. No jitters.

He puts his fingers in my panties and rubs them against my small vagina.

I am frozen, aroused and confused.

I jump and run back to the television when I hear my mother.

He follows me, sits down and stands me in front of him, then proceeds to molest me again.

There is calmness about him, an air of “I've been here before”.

I stand frozen and confused as his light almost jovial tone sharply contradicts what he is doing to me under my skirt.

NOW:

While writing this letter I uncovered some of the anger and distortions that still existed within me. Some of the wording of previous drafts were modified to reclaim the power I gave him as an adult. It is just the beginning of the work that I must do, but it is a start. Just being able to say that I was letting him go was difficult in and of itself but the more I grow and discover all the love and power inside of me, the less space I have for the bitterness. I am working on forgiving him still.

Excerpted from "My Voice of Truth" by Stephanie Gagos
Copyright © 2006 Stephanie Gagos

About the Author:

Stephanie Gagos has a Bachelors in English Literature and a Masters in Elementary Education. She is a writer and former middle school teacher. Driven by a traumatic childhood in which she suffered multiple forms of abuse at the hands of her mentally ill and abusive mother as well as nine men, Stephanie hopes that her story will inspire others to reclaim their power. She is currently working on her first book, My Voice of Truth: Reconditioning the Abused Mind. Future projects include Letters to My Abusers: What I Couldn’t Say Then, an anthology of letters from survivors to their abusers, the sequel to her first book, entitled “Reconditioning the Abused Body” and screenplays for television and film.