Worst Date Ever

My worst date ever was someone I met off an internet dating site, about 2 years ago. This was just after breaking up with Mark.

In his profile, his age stated 38, which to me at the time, was just ideal. I still wanted an older man, but I capped it at 10 years older max. His photo looked ok, not that clear, nothing fantastic... but from his profile, he sounded interesting. Loved travel, good food, was an artist, and had no baggage (meaning no ex wife and kids).

So we arranged for dinner at Robertson Quay, at Esmirada's. I arrived on time. He was on his way on his vespa, 10 minutes late. He also looked older than the pic he put in his profile.

The first Bad date NO NO... was that he turned up in CROCS. And I'm not talking about the CROCS which at least look like proper shoes (with laces)... but he turned up in baby crocs.. you know, the kind cut for toddlers.

If that wasn't bad enough, he wore one side black and the other side white. And the first thing I pointed out when we met was, "why don't your shoes match?"

His answer was something along the lines of being an artist, he wasn't mainstream and was different.

HELLO UNCLE, THAT'S SO UNCOOL.

I could not help looking at his damn shoes throughout the date, and I remember being extra disgusted to realise that they were not even original Crocs, but the rubber copies thy sell at the markets for $4 or something.

Ok, so let the shoe issue rest. As we met, within the first 12 seconds, I already felt that he wasn't my type after all and I was never going to take this further. So in a bid to save each other's time and effort, I said I wasn't hungry, and would prefer to just sit down for a drink instead of dinner.

He agreed. We ordered our drinks. He talked all about himself... about the photography he does (of textures or something) and his upcomming exhibition... etc etc.... he didn't ask me one question about myself. So I'm pretty sure he doesn't know that I am a blogger or anything about me for that matter.

And you know what else? Half way through, he said - "Guess my age?"

I said, "38." because that's what he put on his profile!

And he smiled smugly, and said," No, I'm 51." He was sooooo happy I said 38 because he actually thought I said 38 because he looked 38! Wtf man.

I clarified that he put 38 on his profile???! And he said yes, because he feels 38. Wow... what a great excuse to cover a lie. Delusion.

I drank my drink fairly quickly. The waiter asked if I wanted another, and I said no thanks. Mr Cool Crocs however... really milked that one drink. We were there 1 hour. I was hungry. I was waiting for him to finish his damn drink so we could end the date.

But surprise surprise... the kinds staff in Esmirada's was having a slow night, so they popped out to refill our drinks for free. NOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

All in all, that night took 2.5 hours. In retrospect... I should have just ordered the lamb!

P/s - after the 2 drinks, he offered to take me back to his place (on his Vespa?!!??) and cook dinner for me. Talk about not being able to read body language eh.

I know you will say it's my fault. I should have just made it clearer, or just walked off as soon as I saw him. But I'm not rude like that.... and I really thought the date would be 30 mins tops, if we just sat for a drink. Lesson learnt!

I have more internet dating stories to share with you. Will tell you about more wierdos when I feel like it. It was good fun while it lasted, and I actually met some guys with whom I am still friends with.