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Fitlhy Lie: Evil Glenn vs. Writer's Block

Every blogger dreads it. And nearly every one of us will be forced to face it some day. Writer's Block. In fact, we bloggers have our own term for a type of it. BEAL. Blogger Ennui Apathy & Lethargy. (I'm not sure if she coined the term, but Susie of Practical Penumbra seems to be the one who put it into common usage.)

BEAL is such a problem that it can even affect the giants of the Blogshpere. Frank J. of IMAO has been forced to battle it. Harvey of Bad Example has been held in it's clutches. John Hawkins of Right Wing News must suffer it from time to time. (I know I struggle with it on a daily basis. Not that I deserve to be in the same paragraph as these others. Well... maybe Harvey.)

But while BEAL can be deadly, it is Writer's Block which can be more frustrating. BEAL best summes up the feeling when you just don't have the desire to blog. Writer's Block is when you want to write (or blog) but can't think of anything to say, or how to say it.

And while I doubt that Evil Glenn has too many bouts of BEAL, surely he must have Writer's Block occasionally. There must be days that even though he wants to write, he just doesn't know what to write. So the question is:

What does Evil Glenn do when he has Writer's Block?

Those "Indeed"s, "Heh"s and "Hmm..."s don't just write themselves. Or do they?

My recent investigative research has uncovered an unusual thing. Just like Harvey has his Idea-Lemur Bosco, Evil Glenn has his three Idea-MiniHeifers; Indeed, Hmm..., and Heh. But what's really weird, is how Evil Glenn uses them. In contrast to Bosco, who pounds on Harvey's head until he posts, Evil Glenn plays a form of Cow bingo using his three Idea-MiniHeifers.

What he does, is spread out a few newspapers (local and national), some printouts of internet stories, and the printed transcripts of a few of the major news networks on the floor. Then, he turns the Idea-MiniHeifers loose. The tiny bovines wander around on the scattered papers, and each eventually, "picks" a story by competing its digestive cycle on a news item.

Here's a picture of the Idea-MiniHeifers in action.

(Click for bigger image.)

The best part of this system, is that the cows also provide Evil Glenn's commentary for him when he doesn't know what to type. If Glenn can't think of anything to say about the article, he merely links to it, possibly cut-and-pastes an excerpt, and notes which of the cows chose it.

That's why so many of his posts are done just that way. And you thought that Evil Glenn was just indicating his opinion in a concise way. In actuality, he doesn't know what to say, and is just indicating which cow's chip chose the story!

I guess it just goes to show, that a lot of the commentary and opinion on the internet is just a bunch of [OPERATION TIMED OUT]

Posted by GEBIV at May 27, 2005 08:34 PM