Beware of Aardvarks

So I had this dream this morning. And it went a little like this.

Brian and I had a dog (we don't) that we had to get up to let him/her outside on a weekend morning at about 8. He went to do that, and I wandered into the living room (though it was not a house I recognize), and standing in front of me was an AARDVARK. I kid you not.

It had some menacing and snaggled teeth. I said something forcefully to it, which caused it to back away a little. Then Brian entered the room, calmly scooped the aardvark under his arm, opened the back door, and threw it into the yard.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN????

hln

What I'm Missing to Write To You

My MuNu ancestor Victor, sent me this. I was not aware! Were I so inclined I could forego my salad (in progress) and head 5 miles down the road to witness this incident myself!

St. Louis — With their nude bodies covered in "blood" to depict the plight of animals skinned alive for their fur, PETA members will hold a "die-in" and lie silently in a pile outside a local J.Crew store on Tuesday. Other participants will hold giant posters that read, "J.Crew’s Fur Has a Face." PETA has learned that the clothing retailer is selling items made with the skins of foxes, rabbits, coyotes, and minks this fall after previously and repeatedly pledging to PETA that it would not sell fur

Hmm, rabbits. You can eat those. No problems with rabbit fur. The news release goes on to say "Millions of foxes, raccoons, rabbits, and other animals are also raised for fur every year in China, where not a single law protects animals. PETA has obtained undercover video footage that shows fur farmers in China swinging raccoon dogs and foxes by their hind legs and smashing their heads into the ground—breaking the animals’ necks or backs but leaving them panting, blinking, and conscious as they are skinned alive. "

PETA must be unaware of the cruelties perpetuated upon some humans in China; obviously if that were not so, it would point out such things as well. Because people are animals, too.

hln

Never Set the Cat on Fire

Oh my, I'm cracking up. I'm in here working, and MP3s are running in the background. Brian has this tape called Quarks and Quests that I ripped and put into the iTunes collection. Quality's not bad because I have good equipment.

At any rate, there's this song called "Never Set the Cat on Fire" and it's just...hilarious in that geeky way. The tune is this little happy peppy thing, which adds to the absurd fun of the lyrics.

Here you go (a Google search finds the vocalist is Frank Hayes).

Never set the cat on fire; you only will annoy it.
The heat will make the beast perspire; she surely won't enjoy it.
Likewise, do not ignite the dog, the snake, the gerbil, or the frog.
No, never set the cat on fire.
And mind manners...as circumstances may require
And never set the cat on fire.

Don't open up the cabin hatch; the air is sure to leave it.
And air is very hard to catch; you never will retrieve it.
And though you think your life's a bore, don't open the reactor door.
Don't open up the cabin hatch.
And mind your manners...as circumstances may require
And never set the cat on fire.

Don't change the navigator's data; someone's sure to see ya.
You know the captain's view of that - a very bad idea.
He doesn't want his ship to race, forever lost in endless space.
Don't change the navigator's data.
And mind your manners...as circumstances may require

Don't start an interstellar war; it has no helpful uses.
If people ask you "what's it for?" you'll only make excuses.
If thirty trillion folks get hurt, you'll go to bed with no dessert.
Don't start an interstellar war.
And mind your manners...as circumstances may require.
And never set the cat on fire.

Yes mind your manners...as circumstances may require.
And never set the cat on fire.

hln

Nails and Lipstick Explained

A couple of days ago, I posed the "what do you think of lipstick, what do you think of nails?" question. Your responses are as I expected.

This all came about because a woman on the plane had her cell phone out the SECOND we landed, and when she found out that her appointment was cancelled, she immediately booked a manicure.

Now, I've never had a manicure in my LIFE. I do tend to keep my nails trimmed, shaped, and clean. And when I play around with polish (I like to), I do it for me, and I realize that only women are going to be looking at it, typically. Can't really wear lipstick - cakes too quickly for me. Sometimes I'll put it on and then completely wipe it off. Leaves a bit of color but no residue. A male friend shared with me once that lipstick grosses him out. I suspected he was not the only one. You all confirm that.

Thank you for affirming that I understand the male mind. ;)

hln

Adventure at the Hilton

Perhaps you've seen this story. Or perhaps you've seen this picture (Brian's site).

Brian and I spent the weekend in New York. As you might have guessed, we experienced a bit more excitement than planned yesterday when our hotel caught fire.

A fire in an electrical shaft at the Hilton New York hotel yesterday afternoon forced the evacuation of the 45-story Midtown building, sent 33 people to the hospital with smoke inhalation and shut down traffic on Avenue of Americas between West 51st and 54th Streets for more than three hours, the Fire Department said. No one was seriously injured.

The fire started about 4 p.m. as welders were performing maintenance, according to firefighters on the scene. It was limited to a shaft running the length of the building.

The smoke spread rapidly through the 2,017-room hotel through the ventilation system.

Hotel guests from the 8th to the 33rd floors said that the hallways were thick with smoke.

We were on the 29th floor taking a break from a visit to Central Park and a bit of shopping. We heard a noise in the hallway that sounded like kids playing. Then we heard a sound that MIGHT have been a distant fire alarm. Brian then remarked, "are the stairs right next to us?" And then the first fire engine pulled up. And, you guessed it, right at that time, we smelled smoke. Out the door we went.

29 floors down is a piece of cake if you don't have people in front of you. But some of the these people were a bit freaked out, and the Hilton employee directing traffic, as it were, had a nice firm voice that reminded the folks to keep moving (mush, mush). Brian and I added our encouragement. It had the smell of an electrical fire, and some floors were worse than others. Had to cover the nose and mouth on a few. We counted 9 or so fire engines outside the building when we emerged, and traffic was shut down for quite some time.

So we wandered around New York for a while until we were hungry, and we stopped at a restaurant and had a good meal and shared a bottle of wine. When we returned, the hotel was letting guests back in, but the elevators were severely backed up. Brian and I looked at each other, and I said, "stairs?" And he said, "stairs."

And so there were stairs, 29 flights. Which is way too fun on half a bottle of good wine and a very full belly. Thank goodness for physical fitness. When we arrived back at the hotel room, it was not fully ventilated - smell was still pretty acrid. The phones were dead, and we decided to pack up and find alternate lodging. Yes, you guessed it, 29 flights down with full luggage, which is much more of an exercise in resistance training - I have some sore shoulders today (as does Brian, I believe) - I had fully worked upper body the day before.

We ended up at the Times Square Hilton - a bit of gentle but firm "we're not staying here" did the trick on that one. Previous to this little adventure we'd had a nice trip, but I'm afraid this experience is a bit hard to trump as far as blog stories go.

hln