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Dan Rather Gives Bill Clinton, I Mean Bill Clinton's Book, Five Stars �
June 16, 2004
Today's Top Ten
Well, Clinton's Secretary of Labor Robert "This isn't necessarily a baguette" Reich just posed nude for a calendar. I hear that other liberals will be joining in this so-called "Erotic Initiative" to titilate swing voters.
Top Ten Other Forays of Democrats Into Tasteful Erotica
10. Janet Reno's combination erotic newsletter-slash-trap-shooter's bible
9. An audio book of all the dirty parts from Tropic of Cancer, as seductively read by Susan Estrich
8. The Illustrated Guide to Erotic Body-Painting, by the editors of Penthouse Magazine (with an introduction by Paul Krugman)
7. Foggy Bottoms: The Sensual Anal Erotica of Madeleine Albright
6. Joycelyn Elders makes a surprise cameo on Sesame Street and joins Elmo and Snuffaluffagus to sing pro-masturbation song, Ain't Nothing Borin' About a Little Exlporin'
5. Chris Lehane applies for a job as Erotic Advice Columnist for Salon magazine; fails to get the job due to his difficulty in defining and explaining the term "vaginal sex"
4. Michael Moore and The Playboy Advisor team up to present a "sexy" video exploring "all facets" of male sexuality, tentatively titled Dude, Where's My Prostate?
3. Four words: Live! Nude! Paul Begala!
2. Old Dennis Kucinich campaign schtick: I'd like a to meet a vibrant, attractive woman whom I can court, marry, and then grow old with
New Dennis Kucinich campaign schtick: I'll settle for someone with at least twenty teeth and 8-12 toes
...and the Number One Upcoming Foray of Democrats into Erotica...
1. My Life: The Autobiography of Bill Clinton
Correction! Rubber Glove pointed out that I spelled "prostate" wrong.
Whoops!