Shadow Warriors: Assault On Devil's Island (1997)

Shadow Warriors: Assault On Devil's Island (1997)- * * *

Directed by: Jon Cassar

Starring: Hulk Hogan, Shannon Tweed, Carl Weathers, Billy Drago, Martin Kove, Trevor Goddard, and Billy Blanks 

While it may be a bit confusing as to which of the two Shadow Warriors telefilms came first, we're reasonably confident that this is the first appearance of the team consisting of Mike McBride (Hulk), Roy Brown (Weathers), Hunter Wiley (Tweed), and Andy Powers (Kove). The follow-up, Shadow Warriors: Assault on Death Mountain (1999), came two years after this one.

In this initial installment of the two-movie series, our heroes are tasked with bringing down the evil drug lord Carlos Gallindo (Drago), and his goons Fraker (Goddard) and Creagan (Blanks). While they're doing that, they have to rescue the kidnapped American Gymnastics team, who is imprisoned in a cage in a room that's slowly filling with water. Will the Shadow Warriors - a team of friendly mercenaries tasked with missions like this one - save the day once again? Or is it the first time? You're gonna have to tune in if you want to find out...

Shadow Warriors: Assault on Devil's Island is very, very similar to the other movie in the series. If you've seen that one, and you happened to enjoy it, you will find more of the same here. For those unfamiliar with these TV films, they are quite lightweight despite the fact that there are fights, guard tower falls, blow-ups and shootings. Somewhere along the way there's a very silly exploding helicopter.

If it was just Carl Weathers and Shannon Tweed in an R-rated film going around and taking out the trash, it would have made all the difference in the world - and, sad but true, it would've been a massive improvement. Sad because the presence of Hulk Hogan as the main character kind of gets in the way. Yes, his hair, facial expressions, high-waisted pants, and line deliveries are absolutely ridiculous, and that does provide some enjoyment. But he should have been more of a background character, like Martin Kove or even Billy Blanks are here.

The fight between Blanks and Hogan is as daffy as everything else on display. Also we should mention that the film opens with Hulk doing some form of yoga on the beach and he's into tarot cards and mysticism. Just like in real life. Blanks went from Balance of Power (1996), where he punched steam, to here, where he punches meat. As we said in our review of the other Shadow Warriors film, thank goodness for Shannon Tweed. The fact that she's here helps a lot. Almost saves things, in fact.

Billy Drago plays - you guessed it - the baddie in his customary manner. His classic head-tilt and slimy manner are here once again. Trevor Goddard is a strong presence as his muscle. Billy Blanks should have had more to do overall.

Because a gymnastics team is kidnapped, it may remind you of Blast (1997). Because of certain plot points involving Billy Drago, it may remind you of Delta Force 2 (1990). Combine that with the fact that this is a telefilm meant to air after episodes of wrestling on TNT, and there you have it.

Concluding with our heroes walking towards the camera in slow motion and looking quite serious, are we to conclude that we should take all this goofiness seriously? That may be one of the great mysteries of life, along with which Shadow Warriors entry is which. Action fans seeking something dark, gritty, and adult are advised to look elsewhere, but if you've got a taste for the silly, and you've got nothing better to watch, there's always the duo of Shadow Warriors films.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Shadow Warriors: Assault On Death Mountain (1999)

Shadow Warriors: Assault On Death Mountain (1999)- * *1\2

Directed by: Jon Cassar

Starring: Hulk Hogan, Carl Weathers, Shannon Tweed, and Martin Kove

Mike McBride (Hulk), Roy Brown (Weathers), Hunter Wiley (Tweed), and possibly some other guy are the SHADOW WARRIORS. They’re a team of mercenaries, but they’re good mercenaries who rescue kidnapped children and fight terrorists. But that’s only, in true A-Team fashion, “if you can find them”. Tasked with fighting some baddies with chemical weapons and ballistic missiles, our Shadow Warrior team snaps into action. They even enlist the help of their buddy Andy Powers (Kove), sort of an auxiliary Shadow Warrior. The only problem is McBride was injected with some sort of poison and is slowly dying. Can he get an antidote in time? Will they stop the launch of the missile? Will they save the children? WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN?!?!



Shadow Warriors: Assault On Death Mountain is a made-for-TV (TNT to be exact) outing, and you can really feel it. It feels like a pilot for a show that was never picked up, and it would have been (and should have been) a syndicated series that would air after Xena or Hercules or Relic Hunter on channel 9 on Saturday afternoon. That’s not to say there isn’t action – there are plenty of shootouts, fights, chases, blow-ups and the like. But it feels sanitized, and the whole outing is very paint-by-numbers.



That being said, there are plenty of funny moments to be had. Hulk Hogan attempting to act “troubled” is worth the price of admission alone. The Hulkster mows down middle-Eastern terrorists holding two large machine guns, and later gets the old Prerequisite Torture treatment. Carl Weathers brings his trademark charisma, and Shannon Tweed practically salvages the whole thing just by being there. Of course, you do get some classic Tweed-Fu. Martin Kove seems to be going for the David Letterman look of the day. They all walk in slow motion away from an explosion, and Hulk Hogan punches people on a hovercraft. So it’s not a total loss.

The whole thing is rife with stereotypes and stupidity, as you might expect from another pairing of director Cassar with Hulk Hogan around the same time as The Ultimate Weapon (1998). But you shouldn’t go in expecting more than that, and there is fun to be had with what’s there. 

So, if you’re willing to accept “The B-Team”, you could do a lot worse than Shadow Warriors: Assault on Death Mountain.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, The Video Vacuum! 

The Ultimate Weapon (1997)

The Ultimate Weapon (1997)-*1\2

Directed by: Jon Cassar

Starring: Hulk Hogan,  Vlastra Vrana, Carl Marotte, Daniel Pilon, and Cynthia Preston






"No Fear. No Rules. No Equal."






Oh dear lord WHY?!?!?!?! Wasn't Radical Jack (2000) punishment enough? When will the torture end?


Fresh off his role in Santa With Muscles (1996), perhaps the Hulkster yearned for more adult fare so he attempted to be in an R-rated action film. This seems like a good idea on paper but this jaunt barely rises to the level of adequate entertainment.


Hogan plays Ben "Hardball" Cutter, an "independent contractor", i.e., a mercenary. When his old commander, Top (Vrana) assigns him with a new partner, Vince "Cobra" Dean (Marotte) the two don't really get along, but they must stop the IRA gunrunners, led by the evil Dylan McBride (Pilon). Apparently they are involved in "Operation Shamrock", a classified U.N. operation. 

When Cutter blows up most of McBride's stash of weaponry, McBride then declares war on the Hulkster, I mean Cutter. Meanwhile he is trying to reconnect with his estranged daughter Mary Kate (Preston) who is now working in a sleazy strip club. Will the Cutters ever be a family again? Will McBride ever cut his ponytail? ... WHY?


Every time Hogan walks on screen, you laugh because of his hair, his mustache, and his overall demeanor, but mainly because all the clothes he wears in the film are at least two sizes too small. It's hard not to notice his ill-fitting clothing. Maybe he was still going through puberty at the time. Plus he seems confused and dumbfounded most of the movie, emphasis on the "dumb". 

He seems like he is trying to grasp something but not quite managing. He should stick to comedies and wrestling, his obvious strong points. His partner "Cobra" is not at all tough and besmirches the name of that great film and TV show. Plus he resembles Gary "Baba Booey" Dell'Abate from the Howard Stern Show. The main bad guy looks like Alan Thicke, once again besmirching one of the greatest Canadians (but I suppose that is inevitable as the film was shot in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. Preston's "aboots" give away the game as well). 

Also, when "Cobra" is fighting the baddies, he is wearing a bright yellow shirt and has a belt buckle almost as big as his head. If he is trying to be stealth, looking like a neon banana in pajamas is not gonna help.



In this low-budget, brain-numbing exercise in stupidity which is disturbingly similar to the aforementioned Radical Jack, there are too many training sequences and other unnecessary bits that make the 90 minute running time seem much longer. 

There is some pseudo-cool "quick cutting" at times, and the barfights and drive-by shootings are so idiotic and ridiculous it's unfathomable. The "Simon says" sequence truly plumbs the depths of dumb. Plus there's the prerequisite sequence where the hero is tortured, but in this case it's the Hulkster in various stages of his shirt coming off. 

The second half of the film is basically a shirtless Hogan running around (literally - 78 minutes into the film there is a painfully obvious stunt double for Hogan doing a very simple jump over a low fence). Somehow he finds the time to change his pants and find a funny vest, but his chest remains exposed, and his "cuts" come and go. None of this should come off as complaining. You should know going in that The Ultimate Weapon is not Masterpiece Theatre.



Once again, Avalanche has a "misstatement" on their box, as they did with Counter Measures (1999). The running time was a grueling 90 minutes. The box says 110. Luckily, it is not that crushing. It probably scared off potential renters 13 years ago. We don't want to spend that much time with Cutter, Cobra and Top. Luckily, we don't have to. Plus there are other "Hulk" references on the box. There are references to No Holds Barred (1989) and Suburban Commando (1991). Speaking of Commando (1985), Hulk even says in the movie "I lied", exactly mimicking Arnie's immortal line.


If it's brainless entertainment you seek, The Ultimate Weapon will fill the bill perfectly.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty & Brett