Glass Finger

Image: NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, 2015 Hohonu Moana

Have you heard of the glass delusion?

A Sponge is Never Alone

Image: NOAA Office of Ocean Exploration and Research, 2015 Hohonu Moana

After that weird forest of sponges, I thought it would be nice to see the other side of the story.

That's right, soul-crushing loneliness! Like if you looked into the abyss and it didn't just look back, it grabbed you by the ankle, pulled you into itself and said, "Make yourself at home. If you can."

Don't Smell the Roses

Remember how hard-working, deep sea sponges look like satellite dishes and mouths-on-sticks?

It's important to note that that's just part of the story. Another part of the story involves the flowers... OF DEATH.

Forest of the Weird

Well, if you call it a Forest of the Weird you know my interest will be piqued. I love a weird forest. Whether it's a mushroom forest, a flesh-eating forest or a forest where all the trees wake up at night to dance in the moonlight, I'm all about weird forests.

So how about a nice underwater sponge forest? Yes, please!

The Blues VI

Image: Bernard DUPONT
Corythaeola cristata

It's Blue Monday! Mathematically proven to be the most depressing day of the year by qualified PR professionals who believe the best way to defeat it is with a holiday package bought from their clients. But there's no defeating it. It looms. It impends. It soon comes to a dark night of the soul near YOU! And there are no holidays from one's own soul.

Orange Fan Sponge

Image: Richard Ling
Echinoclathria leporina

It's the most absurdly dramatic sponge in the world!

Elephant Ear Sponge

Image: Richard Ling
Ianthella basta

If it's bad to make a pig's ear of a thing, how much worse an elephant's?

Cream Honeycomb Sponge

Image: John Turnbull
Holopsamma laminaefavosa

It's a shame the Cream Honeycomb Sponge doesn't have any honey in it.

Ludicrously Ornate Sponge

It's a Venus Flower Basket!

Boring Sponge

Image: Sean Nash

It's a BORING SPONGE!!!

Are you stifling a yawn? Because you wouldn't if the boring sponge was digging and delving into your flesh.

Picasso Sponge 1

Image: NOAA

A crab, presumably a King Crab because of the six walking legs, hangs out on a Yellow Picasso Sponge.

This particular specimen depicts a young woman staring wistfully through a window as a cup of hot tea cools, untouched, by her side.

.....

Next

Four New Carnivorous Sponges

Just when you thought it was safe to step into the bathroom, researchers introduce four new species of carnivorous sponge to the "Known to Science" list.

Golf Ball Sponge - A Trypophobe's Nightmare

Image: California Academy of Sciences

Holes! Holes in a thing! Some people really hate to see holes in a thing. It makes them feel uncomfortable and itchy and a little sick. For some people, holes in a thing is positively unholy. Oddly enough.

Pink Puffball Sponge

Image: Min Sheng Khoo
Oceanapia sagittaria

I had no idea something like this existed. It's an underground sponge!

Goiter Sponge

Image: NOAA
Heterochone calyx

What? Don't tell me they're still using gramophones in the deep sea?

Harp Sponge

Image: MBARI
Chondrocladia lyra

Isn't it lovely? Among all the gnashing teeth and wobbling flab of the deep sea is a beautiful harp! A beautiful, meat-eating harp.

Melted Marshmallow Sponge

Image: neptunecanada via Flickr

Isn't it strange?

You go to the cold, dark depths of the sea
and it turns out you just missed a camp fire.

Breadcrumb Sponge

Image: WoRMS for SMEBD
Halichondria panicea

So popular they named it more than 50 times!

A Carnivorous Sponge

Image: NOAA Okeanos Explorer Program, INDEX-SATAL 2010

Oh! The pretty, pretty flowers of the deep, deep sea
Alive in the depths incongruously
I wonder what scents would you have for me?
Do your colours blaze bright with vibrancy?

Alas! Alas! It's not to be!
This brute eats meat like the Ping Pong Tree!
It digests shrimp with heartless glee
There's no honey in the deep, deep sea

White Mushroom Sponge

Image: NOAA/MBARI

Sponges of the genus Caulophacus look just like little, white mushrooms.