Showing posts with label utter foolishness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label utter foolishness. Show all posts

Monday, April 26, 2010

Guest Post: Commercial Music

In my 16 years of life, a great deal of things (including but not limited to: my family, my friends, strangers, celebrities, and everyday life in general) have managed to make me extremely angry. But the latest offender to make it on to my 'Things to Get Revenge Against' list is Tide. Yes, that's right. A friggin' laundry detergent has managed to further my progression into an angry black woman (the official countdown to September 8, 2014 has commenced).

You may be wondering what could cause me to be so angry at the Tide company. Did they test some new products on third world orphans and give them some terrible case of hives? Did their CEO say something racist? Well, that's entirely possible. I don't watch the news so all that could've happened and I wouldn't even know (if it did happen my, conscience can be clear because I don't even use Tide). No, what has me so enraged is their latest commercial; so, really, I guess I'm mad at their PR company.

In case you haven't seen it, the commercial is about their latest detergent, which is specially formulated to run in cold water and, therefore, use less energy. The inner child and music lover in me could really care less about the good-natured environmental benefits. They're more concerned with the song running in the background: 'Rebirth of Slick (Cool Like Dat)' by Digable Planets. The first time I saw/heard that commercial, I swear I died a little inside and every time since. It wasn't until ten minutes ago when I was sitting in a Chinese food restaurant when the doggone thing came on the TV again that I finally decided enough was enough.





WHAT WAS THAT CRAP?

Of course, I've already had my own vocal rant with my personal argument backboard (my mother) and she, of course, responded with, "Well, the song is 16 years old."

I, of course, responded with, "So?"

In blowing my poor mother's response clearly out of proportion, I came to the conclusion that, in a few weeks, when I turn 16, people are allowed to use me in commercials no matter how stupid it makes me look (love ya, ma). I'm waiting for the day somebody figures out a way to use Prince's 'Purple Rain' on a commercial so I can respond with, "Mom, it is 25 years old."


I'm not necessarily opposed to using songs in commercials. In some cases, like Bacardi's latest using Matt and Kim's 'Daylight', it's alright (let's ignore the fact that I'm underage and I’ve seen all the multiple edited versions of the commercial because I keep watching late night TV). I like the song, the commercial is artfully done, unlike the Tide commercial the song is edited well so it doesn't sound as choppy, and, most importantly, THE SONG IS NEW (relatively).





Using new songs in commercials allows the television viewing audience to hear songs that they may not have heard if their local radio station offers little-to-no variety (hint, hint, St. Louis). Using older songs, however, only makes people like me who actively listen to music suffer for a month and a half while the thing is circulation. Need I remind you of 'This Will Be' and eHarmony (and the fact that you can’t hear that song without cringing)? I thought not.

I'd just like to point out that the minute I finished this, the music video just came on my TV. God must really love irony (and making me angry).


--Jordan is a sixteen year old high school junior (and my kid), interested in TV and her headphones. Her life goals include making it through Titanic without falling asleep and finally getting a decent score in skee-ball. She has a full time job as a sarcastic commentator for everyday life and a part time job of trying to make it through said life.

Repost from August 2009

Thursday, April 15, 2010

My Cousin Got Married & Other Foolishness



Weddings are joyous occasions, at least that's what we're led to believe.  So what happens when I'm forced to sit through a budget/style/common sense lacking wedding? I live tweeted my cousin's wedding last year and my co-worker thought I should share it with you.  Below are my tweets from that tragic event.




Sitting @ my cousin's wedding. Noticing there R more on his side than brides. Is that a sign? We're glad 2 gv him away!  

Cousin Greg is jammin on the sax! All is not lost  

@jazzzyone popular nothing! We can't blv some1 wants his trifling tail   

Check out cousin diane with the fresh perm AND weave. Still ghetto though  

My favorite cousins r here. I lv 2 see black men who've bn raised well 

 I think it's a farce and I can't blv fam has traveled here for this lol   

I'm here 2 witness the foolishness and fuggery w my own eyes. And they're already behind schedule  

Okay wedding officially late. Aunt says they hv 2 wait on the clock to be on the upswing??  

I'm not understanding the parading of the mother of the bride back and forth in the front of the church.   

And why aren't the groomsmen already out here? F and F! 

Lawd geezus and baby geezus! My mother is singing a solo. Take me now!  

The groom looks like he's abt 2 cry  

Reverend looks like he's abt to fall asleep. I wonder what they're serving at the reception  

Why did my aunt gv a crying baby the evil eye? Lol  

Omg! Some nonsinging boy is jacking up luther and now the baby is really crying  

Groom and bride crying tears of joy. I'm crying cuz the singer sucks! 

No they don't hv reserved seats at the reception. I'm sitting where ever I feel lk it  

Don't gv me a ghetto wedding and try to change it up for the reception  

At a table with folks I don't know. They didn't get the memo? Nobody puts baby in the corner!  

Caterer my tail! I see church members throwing on aprons and firing up the sternos. Didn't I tell y'all?  

Aunt Jean is now directing table traffic  

Why is the plasticware wrapped in a paper napkin and tied with a box? It's paper and plastic no matter how u dress it up.  


My lovely plasticware!   

This chick's hair looks like something the cat's been sucking on. I want 2 gv her some Jane Carter's solution & a chi flat iron for real.  

I wish the old man that got a salad 4 his wife brought me 1. They're not serving yet, he's just gangsta  

This lil boy and his brother r sitting across  me trying 2 see who cn mk the strangest noises the loudest & their mom is iggin them FML 

I gv them the look and they stfu. Learned that from aunt jean  

:::banging my plasticware on the table::: feed me now! Feed me now! 

Aunt Jean fussin again    


(no, this was not taken at the wedding, but this is her typical fussing stance)


Sure, Rock the Boat is appropriate entrance music for the bride and groom  




Who set up the head table without enough chairs for the bridal party?? EPIC FAIL  

Now the bride and photographer r trying to move chairs around. Oy vey  

Yep. A pepsi too if u hv one RT @jazzzyone: @Reads4Pleasure lol! want some of my popcorn?  

Singing along...baby ur nt always there when I call bt ur always there on time. The DJ is just playing a hidden beach cd. I cd hv done that 

My mother just sd I shd hv planned the wedding 4 them 4 free. NOT! 

I wd settle for hot fries and a pepsi right now. Friggin buffet line and table numbers! Ughh  

Baked chicken? Pound cake? No wedding cake? *wall slide* 

Hell naw! The dj is playing hey ma by camron. I. Am. Weak. 

No dessert or salad left (sigh)  

@Narleski is it possible that I don't care? Lol. I'm just saying what they're thinking   

I've given them all the time I can. Must. Go. Home. *drops mic* 

They caught me at the door (sigh). Serve the muscatel already so I can go!  

These negroaches put a bottle of Andres on each table with some cups and walked away.  
    
::rocking back and forth:: Jesus be a fence all around me everydayyy. 

I feel like I'm at the V F & W  

Why is this fool giving a toast no one can understand? 

Give me free!!!  

I'm blowing this joint. Lemme pretend to go to the restroom and just walk out.