On day 2 of my vacation, the computer got a virus. It has been out of commission for days. No facebook, no blogs, no Sims 3. Most of the laundry is finished, I've vacuumed every floor in my house (twice), and my sink is empty of dishes. Unfortunately, that's about all that got accomplished, because I too also got the sickies. Then Jimi got sick. And I've been fighting the post-Christmas winter blahs.
Ugh.
We'll chat soon, okay?
Showing posts with label Intarwebz. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Intarwebz. Show all posts
Monday, January 2, 2012
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
"I got nipples on my titties big as the end of my thumb."
That's now officially my new favorite lyric. Ever.
Have you ever heard of Lucille Bogan? Me neither, until this morning. Ah, the power of Facebook. She was one of the first Blues singers to be recorded - that song above was recorded in 1935. I've always pictured the past, eras well before my time, to be genteel and soft around the edges and full of polite words and only vague flowery references to sex. I was way wrong:
What a dirty girl! And isn't the clap easily cured by antibiotics? Is that a new development since the 30s? (Probably, and I could totally google it, but I don't care that much.)
In surfing YouTube for more dirty old songs to share, I found one by the Toppers recorded in 1954 called Baby Let Me Bang Your Box, but there's a reference to a piano, so it's cheating. Lucille was raw and hard - she called a cock a cock. Twenty years later, I guess radio-play was more the goal than telling it how it was.
One of the comments left on Lucille's videos said "I've just found the answer to 'If you could meet anyone, dead or alive...'." It'd be a hell of a conversation, for sure.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Behold the Power of the INTARWEBZ
I woke up with Metallica in my head. Thanks to the power of the interwebs, it was easily available for my listening pleasure with the stroke of a few keys. What an amazing time we live in! I remember being small and thinking how cool it would be if I could conjure from the air my favorite television programs or songs - my version involved a million katrillion TV and radio stations, though - for example, if I wanted to watch "Golden Girls", I'd go to channel 96548, where they show All Golden Girls, All The Time. The internet is so much better than my idea - not so many channels to surf through and you can even pull up specific episodes, not just watch the whole series on a loop.
I can't imagine having this power as a child; I can't imagine the ways my world would've changed if we'd had this stuff when I was growing up. I can't imagine what sort of deviant I would've become had I discovered online pornography at 11, instead of just my friend's mom's boyfriend's stash of Playboys in the top of the bathroom closet. Oh, the plagiarized pages I surely would've turned in as my own creative works! And the forums and chat rooms - the meanness and snarkiness I would've dealt out, the rumors I would've started, the gossip I would've spread...and then it all would've turned on me and maybe I would've ended up being one of those kids you read about who commit suicide because of horrible bullying. This awesome tool certainly must create some new challenges for parents and educators.
I got on the internet for the first time ever the night I graduated from high school; it was late May, 1998, and I was 18 years old. My cousin Stacy had come to my graduation, and I was so glad to see her! I decided to skip the graduation parties in favor of spending the night at her house - we didn't see each other all that often and it sounded like more fun than getting drunk and having to sneak into the house by curfew.
Stacy had a computer.
In her bedroom.
And it was connected to the internet.
Now, today, in July 2011, the fact of having a computer connected to the internet is sort of assumed - my phone has more computing power than Stacy's old desktop did - but in 1998, it was sort of a big deal, and I was mad jealous that Stacy had something so awesome. (Stacy always had all the hot shit - the Michael Jackson doll and the Joey from the New Kids On The Block doll are the top two examples that stick out in my memory right now.) Stacy is a generous soul, though, and after we'd eaten pizza she logged on and showed me how to navigate around AOL.
Holy crap, it was magical. The whirring and dinging and hissing of the modem as it dialed up and connected in - I didn't even know it was taking forever! The opening and closing door sounds of the chat rooms as people came and left, the blip of sound when a new message appeared. And there was a whole new language - A/S/L? F, 18, Louisville, KY was enough information to determine if it was worth your time to bother chatting with the person on the other end of the connection.
I ended up in a chat room in Utah. Someone made some snotty comment about Mormons and polygamy and, feeling like I had some authority on the subject (seeing as how my best friend was the Bishop's son and all), I jumped right in, defending the innocent Mormons and telling the attacker to check his facts. Almost instantly, a private chat box popped up - "Are you LDS?" "What's LDS?" "I guess that's my answer - Latter Day Saints (Mormon)" "Ohhh..."
He was in his late 20s, married with children, and very LDS. We chatted until the sun came up. It was surreal and informative and fascinating. Here I was, in my cousin's bedroom in Louisville, Kentucky, and I was having a discussion about religion with a man on the other side of the country, living a life so different from mine - it was the neatest thing I'd ever seen. (Did Google exist back then? If it did, I didn't know about it - perhaps our conversation would've gotten more interesting had I known then what I know now.)
I was hooked - the internet was definitely for me and I needed to have it at my disposal as often as possible. A few weeks later, Daddy came home with a big hulking state-of-the-art desktop, complete with AOL free trial start-up disk, and I was on cloud 9. I met my ex-husband the same way I met that Mormon stranger from Utah, via AOL Chat. When I was married and living away from my friends and family, the internet allowed me to connect with people back home and try to keep up on local events. When I divorced and moved back to Kentucky, I had a ready-made group of friends waiting for me - all "strangers" I'd met on the internet via a local social networking site, all awesome and fun and unique and brilliant and real and not serial killers. (Except that one guy, but we're not talking about him today.)
Today, I get my news from the internet. My reading material that doesn't come from the local used book store comes from the internet. I'm subscribed to, and read nearly all of, over 200 blogs - and most of them are written by complete and total strangers; strangers who make me laugh and cry and feel warm and fuzzy all over. I keep up with my friends not through phone calls or letters or visits, but through their Facebook pages. If I get an urge to hear a song or watch a particular show or movie, my desire is only a keystroke away. Any ailments that befall our household can be cured with any number of home remedies shared by experienced moms and health professionals from around the world - or they'll let me know if we need to seek immediate medical assistance. Any recipe can be found, any mindless entertainment is there to be enjoyed, any historical fact can be confirmed or denied. It's an amazing thing.
How did the internet become a part of your world? How do you keep your kids from watching porn online? Or cheating on their homework? Do you use the internet for everything, or are you still a fan of newspapers, magazines, and television?
I can't imagine having this power as a child; I can't imagine the ways my world would've changed if we'd had this stuff when I was growing up. I can't imagine what sort of deviant I would've become had I discovered online pornography at 11, instead of just my friend's mom's boyfriend's stash of Playboys in the top of the bathroom closet. Oh, the plagiarized pages I surely would've turned in as my own creative works! And the forums and chat rooms - the meanness and snarkiness I would've dealt out, the rumors I would've started, the gossip I would've spread...and then it all would've turned on me and maybe I would've ended up being one of those kids you read about who commit suicide because of horrible bullying. This awesome tool certainly must create some new challenges for parents and educators.
I got on the internet for the first time ever the night I graduated from high school; it was late May, 1998, and I was 18 years old. My cousin Stacy had come to my graduation, and I was so glad to see her! I decided to skip the graduation parties in favor of spending the night at her house - we didn't see each other all that often and it sounded like more fun than getting drunk and having to sneak into the house by curfew.
Stacy had a computer.
In her bedroom.
And it was connected to the internet.
Now, today, in July 2011, the fact of having a computer connected to the internet is sort of assumed - my phone has more computing power than Stacy's old desktop did - but in 1998, it was sort of a big deal, and I was mad jealous that Stacy had something so awesome. (Stacy always had all the hot shit - the Michael Jackson doll and the Joey from the New Kids On The Block doll are the top two examples that stick out in my memory right now.) Stacy is a generous soul, though, and after we'd eaten pizza she logged on and showed me how to navigate around AOL.
Holy crap, it was magical. The whirring and dinging and hissing of the modem as it dialed up and connected in - I didn't even know it was taking forever! The opening and closing door sounds of the chat rooms as people came and left, the blip of sound when a new message appeared. And there was a whole new language - A/S/L? F, 18, Louisville, KY was enough information to determine if it was worth your time to bother chatting with the person on the other end of the connection.
I ended up in a chat room in Utah. Someone made some snotty comment about Mormons and polygamy and, feeling like I had some authority on the subject (seeing as how my best friend was the Bishop's son and all), I jumped right in, defending the innocent Mormons and telling the attacker to check his facts. Almost instantly, a private chat box popped up - "Are you LDS?" "What's LDS?" "I guess that's my answer - Latter Day Saints (Mormon)" "Ohhh..."
He was in his late 20s, married with children, and very LDS. We chatted until the sun came up. It was surreal and informative and fascinating. Here I was, in my cousin's bedroom in Louisville, Kentucky, and I was having a discussion about religion with a man on the other side of the country, living a life so different from mine - it was the neatest thing I'd ever seen. (Did Google exist back then? If it did, I didn't know about it - perhaps our conversation would've gotten more interesting had I known then what I know now.)
I was hooked - the internet was definitely for me and I needed to have it at my disposal as often as possible. A few weeks later, Daddy came home with a big hulking state-of-the-art desktop, complete with AOL free trial start-up disk, and I was on cloud 9. I met my ex-husband the same way I met that Mormon stranger from Utah, via AOL Chat. When I was married and living away from my friends and family, the internet allowed me to connect with people back home and try to keep up on local events. When I divorced and moved back to Kentucky, I had a ready-made group of friends waiting for me - all "strangers" I'd met on the internet via a local social networking site, all awesome and fun and unique and brilliant and real and not serial killers. (Except that one guy, but we're not talking about him today.)
Today, I get my news from the internet. My reading material that doesn't come from the local used book store comes from the internet. I'm subscribed to, and read nearly all of, over 200 blogs - and most of them are written by complete and total strangers; strangers who make me laugh and cry and feel warm and fuzzy all over. I keep up with my friends not through phone calls or letters or visits, but through their Facebook pages. If I get an urge to hear a song or watch a particular show or movie, my desire is only a keystroke away. Any ailments that befall our household can be cured with any number of home remedies shared by experienced moms and health professionals from around the world - or they'll let me know if we need to seek immediate medical assistance. Any recipe can be found, any mindless entertainment is there to be enjoyed, any historical fact can be confirmed or denied. It's an amazing thing.
How did the internet become a part of your world? How do you keep your kids from watching porn online? Or cheating on their homework? Do you use the internet for everything, or are you still a fan of newspapers, magazines, and television?
Friday, January 28, 2011
More Chick-fil-A, More Boycotting (and now a protest, too!)
I skipped writing yesterday. Some days, even I run out of things to say. I'm back now, though.
I started a protest event against Chick-fil-A on Facebook today. National Gay Up Chick-fil-A Day was born when Kim sent me this link, which basically reasserts the fact that the bigotry I talked about here was not as isolated as I was lead to believe when I posted this. I posted this on my Facebook page:
I want to gay up Chick-fil-A so hard. I need more friends who like to dress in drag - I want to get 50 of my closest cross-dressing friends together and love-bomb the Jesus Chicken Stores. I want to get my favorite gay couples together to have a big fat party in the middle of the Chick-fil-A dining rooms. And I want us to all order only water, because I'll never give those bigots another dime of my money.
"They're a business run based on Christian values, what do you expect?" A more Christ-like example, perhaps? Christ loved everyone. He turned to the lepers and the poor to help them; he didn't turn away from them or try to marginalize them. You want to be a true Christian to your fellow man? Invite the gay couple across the street over for dinner; yes, even when your kids are home. Invite them into your home and get to know them as human beings, not as lesbians or faggots. Realize that they have the same worries and fears about money and crime and what the future will be like for their children. Realize that their homosexuality is something God ingrained in them, and that no amount or prayer or therapy or shame is going to change that fact. Love them because Christ loved them, and because they too are your brothers and sisters. Love them because they are just like you; they are you. Want for them the things you want for your children and your friends and your family. That's what Jesus would do, and I'm pretty sure his part in the Bible came after that old book that banned homosexuality, shellfish, and women speaking in public.
I honestly, deep in my soul, feel that their donations to organizations whose mission statements center around denying equal rights to people based on their sexual orientation is exactly the same as if they were donating to the Ku Klux Klan in an effort to limit the rights of Non-White Americans. I can't understand why every American isn't standing up and shouting "Separation of Church and State, Bitches!" If marriage was governed by religious organizations, I could see the objections to same-sex marriage being sustained, but last I checked, you've got to go through the State to get a marriage license, and discrimination against American citizens on the basis of religious objections seems contrary to the First Amendment.
Of course, like everything else I do, this event was put together hastily and without any forethought or organization or plan, and of course, as is always the case, people are picking it apart. Of course, this makes me feel like that's some sort of statement against me personally, against my views, my opinions, my beliefs, my general standing as a person. Because it's all about me, right? Even this, which really isn't about me in any way, shape, or form, I can turn around to be about me. Sarcasm and haughty laughter stings, but when you get down to the nitty gritty of what I'm feeling when I read that crap, it's just flat-out disappointment that so many people can just stand by and watch as the rights of their fellow Americans are denied or revoked. It makes me sad.
I started a protest event against Chick-fil-A on Facebook today. National Gay Up Chick-fil-A Day was born when Kim sent me this link, which basically reasserts the fact that the bigotry I talked about here was not as isolated as I was lead to believe when I posted this. I posted this on my Facebook page:
I want to gay up Chick-fil-A so hard. I need more friends who like to dress in drag - I want to get 50 of my closest cross-dressing friends together and love-bomb the Jesus Chicken Stores. I want to get my favorite gay couples together to have a big fat party in the middle of the Chick-fil-A dining rooms. And I want us to all order only water, because I'll never give those bigots another dime of my money.
"They're a business run based on Christian values, what do you expect?" A more Christ-like example, perhaps? Christ loved everyone. He turned to the lepers and the poor to help them; he didn't turn away from them or try to marginalize them. You want to be a true Christian to your fellow man? Invite the gay couple across the street over for dinner; yes, even when your kids are home. Invite them into your home and get to know them as human beings, not as lesbians or faggots. Realize that they have the same worries and fears about money and crime and what the future will be like for their children. Realize that their homosexuality is something God ingrained in them, and that no amount or prayer or therapy or shame is going to change that fact. Love them because Christ loved them, and because they too are your brothers and sisters. Love them because they are just like you; they are you. Want for them the things you want for your children and your friends and your family. That's what Jesus would do, and I'm pretty sure his part in the Bible came after that old book that banned homosexuality, shellfish, and women speaking in public.
I honestly, deep in my soul, feel that their donations to organizations whose mission statements center around denying equal rights to people based on their sexual orientation is exactly the same as if they were donating to the Ku Klux Klan in an effort to limit the rights of Non-White Americans. I can't understand why every American isn't standing up and shouting "Separation of Church and State, Bitches!" If marriage was governed by religious organizations, I could see the objections to same-sex marriage being sustained, but last I checked, you've got to go through the State to get a marriage license, and discrimination against American citizens on the basis of religious objections seems contrary to the First Amendment.
Of course, like everything else I do, this event was put together hastily and without any forethought or organization or plan, and of course, as is always the case, people are picking it apart. Of course, this makes me feel like that's some sort of statement against me personally, against my views, my opinions, my beliefs, my general standing as a person. Because it's all about me, right? Even this, which really isn't about me in any way, shape, or form, I can turn around to be about me. Sarcasm and haughty laughter stings, but when you get down to the nitty gritty of what I'm feeling when I read that crap, it's just flat-out disappointment that so many people can just stand by and watch as the rights of their fellow Americans are denied or revoked. It makes me sad.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Yes, Grammar is important.
Anne Rice posted a link to this story on her facebook page a little bit ago:
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2010/10/school-board-member-who-posted-anti-gay-comments-on-facebook-will-resign/1
It's about an Arkansas School Board member who is resigning in the wake of an uproar caused by the following comments he made on his personal facebook page:
What a cockbag.
I can see why there was an uproar demanding his resignation. Even if his words weren't hateful and mean and wrong - I'd sure be pissed if I'd elected a man to sit on the local schoolboard and later learned he communicates using nonwords such as "thereselves".
REALLY PEOPLE.
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2010/10/school-board-member-who-posted-anti-gay-comments-on-facebook-will-resign/1
It's about an Arkansas School Board member who is resigning in the wake of an uproar caused by the following comments he made on his personal facebook page:
Seriously they want me to wear purple because five queers killed themselves. The only way im wearin it for them is if they all commit suicide. I cant believe the people of this world have gotten this stupid. We are honoring the face that they sinned and killed thereselves because of their sin. REALLY PEOPLE.
What a cockbag.
I can see why there was an uproar demanding his resignation. Even if his words weren't hateful and mean and wrong - I'd sure be pissed if I'd elected a man to sit on the local schoolboard and later learned he communicates using nonwords such as "thereselves".
REALLY PEOPLE.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Can we just be fair with each other?
I went looking for a link to Elder Packer's Conference speech from this past weekend. I'll find one in a minute. I got distracted by this: http://www.lds-mormon.com/hardy.shtml. An excerpt: (their links, not mine)
Your doctrine of "choice" and "curability" is also at the core of why the Church and its members in reality view my son and those like him as latter-day lepers. If homosexuality (1) is not inborn, (2) has an element of choice, and (3) can be cured - then it must be able to be taught or suggested. Others must also be susceptible to being enticed or recruited. Our children are capable of being infected by these people and not becoming mothers and fathers. It is, therefore, a frontal assault on the family. The "hate the sin but love the sinner" platitude cannot disguise the fact that in reality the members of the Church are taught to loathe and fear our son and those like him. This qualified and synthetic "love" is nothing more than the few alms hurriedly and begrudgingly parted with to salve the Christian conscience, while never once entertaining the idea of actually descending into the leper pit. We would never expose our children to this for it might infect them. If sexual orientation is a matter of choice, when exactly did you choose to be heterosexual? When and how often did you reaffirm your choice to stay that way? Why aren't my other children, who idolize their brother, even the slightest bit interested in adopting a homosexual "lifestyle" or in homosexual experimentation? Why would anyone choose to be an abomination and an outcast? It defies reason.
Exactly.
Here's the article I was looking for:
http://latterdaymainstreet.com/2010/10/03/will-this-hateful-rhetoric-continue-once-boyd-k-packer-has-passed-on/
It includes the transcript of Packer's speech. Nasty hateful old fool.
What happened to "treat others as you wish to be treated"? "Love thy neighbor"? "Do unto others..."? When did we stop loving each other in the name of a loving God?
It just makes me sad.
Your doctrine of "choice" and "curability" is also at the core of why the Church and its members in reality view my son and those like him as latter-day lepers. If homosexuality (1) is not inborn, (2) has an element of choice, and (3) can be cured - then it must be able to be taught or suggested. Others must also be susceptible to being enticed or recruited. Our children are capable of being infected by these people and not becoming mothers and fathers. It is, therefore, a frontal assault on the family. The "hate the sin but love the sinner" platitude cannot disguise the fact that in reality the members of the Church are taught to loathe and fear our son and those like him. This qualified and synthetic "love" is nothing more than the few alms hurriedly and begrudgingly parted with to salve the Christian conscience, while never once entertaining the idea of actually descending into the leper pit. We would never expose our children to this for it might infect them. If sexual orientation is a matter of choice, when exactly did you choose to be heterosexual? When and how often did you reaffirm your choice to stay that way? Why aren't my other children, who idolize their brother, even the slightest bit interested in adopting a homosexual "lifestyle" or in homosexual experimentation? Why would anyone choose to be an abomination and an outcast? It defies reason.
Exactly.
Here's the article I was looking for:
http://latterdaymainstreet.com/2010/10/03/will-this-hateful-rhetoric-continue-once-boyd-k-packer-has-passed-on/
It includes the transcript of Packer's speech. Nasty hateful old fool.
What happened to "treat others as you wish to be treated"? "Love thy neighbor"? "Do unto others..."? When did we stop loving each other in the name of a loving God?
It just makes me sad.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
You people took all the good ones!
I need a new URL for my blog. Something easy and creative and funny and, mostly, that will lead new eyes to my site, because no one seems to be reading this crap. Which I guess is okay, but the voyeur in me says "Why doesn't anyone care what I'm doing?"
Maybe because your life is boring, Natalie.
Shut up!
All the good URLs are taken. And the blogs they link to? Haven't been updated since 2002, 2004, 2006. I'm wondering if I have the URL for that one that was started in 2006 - perhaps I set it up under a different email account that I've long since forgotten? Completely possible.
So I need to keep thinking on this. I could ask Jimi, and he'd probably come up with something awesome, but then it wouldn't be as awesome because I didn't come up with it by myself.
God, at least all of life's problems aren't this hard.
Maybe because your life is boring, Natalie.
Shut up!
All the good URLs are taken. And the blogs they link to? Haven't been updated since 2002, 2004, 2006. I'm wondering if I have the URL for that one that was started in 2006 - perhaps I set it up under a different email account that I've long since forgotten? Completely possible.
So I need to keep thinking on this. I could ask Jimi, and he'd probably come up with something awesome, but then it wouldn't be as awesome because I didn't come up with it by myself.
God, at least all of life's problems aren't this hard.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Yes!!!
Finally!!! An upgrade!! I bought The Sims 3 as soon as I knew it existed, and after some trouble downloading it (it should've taken an hour, it took a full day), I spent weeks learning the different cool shit you could get the Sims to do - like having 8 babies. YAY!
So tonight, I learn there's an upgrade available - World Adventures Expansion Pack. I'm downloading it now, because this company I bought it from doesn't suck. God Bless the Internet and downloads.
Guess what I'm doing for the rest of the night? I've kissed sweet Jimi and told him goodnight, that I'll see him in the morning, I have some Sims to play.
Friday, November 2, 2007
wikiHow
My new favorite website. No, I'm serious. Not only does this site take me back to my high school days, it makes me want to email it to every parent with teenagers and internet access. It's all here:
How to Convince Your Boyfriend to Tell People Your Dating Him, with brilliant observations and suggestions:
How to Keep Your Parents From Knowing You Have a Boyfriend or Girlfriend, which includes sage advice such as:
Now, most of these are silly and dumb and good for nothing more than a good laugh. There are helpful "How To" pages, as well - they're just not as much fun to write about. I must admit being slightly disappointed that there are no instructions for wiping your ass. I'm thinking of requesting that one. That's right - if there's a topic you're curious about that no one has written on yet, you can request that someone supply you with step-by-step instructions. Each category has a request section - ranging from semi-ridiculous topics like (How To) Be Like Raven Baxter from "That's So Raven" to serious inquiries such as How to Deal With a Bipolar Family Member.
Next time I need to know how to do something, I hope I remember to click this site first. Even if I don't find the info I'm looking for, I'm almost guaranteed to find a good laugh.
How to Convince Your Boyfriend to Tell People Your Dating Him, with brilliant observations and suggestions:
- ask him after a kiss because he is more likley to agree
- .but if he gets angry he is no good
- .rememer boys brains are smaller than ours
How to Keep Your Parents From Knowing You Have a Boyfriend or Girlfriend, which includes sage advice such as:
- Change your secret love's name in your cellphone. In a case where you leave your cell in the kitchen and your parents snoop, they won't know that "Tom" has called you ten times today. Change it to "Brittany" or "Sarah", and unless your parents take the phone from your ear to see if it is who you say it is, this plan is foolproof.
- Introduce him to your parents as your friend's boyfriend (then they won't suspect anything, unless you are a lousy friend).
- Introduce him as your Gay friend (this can explain away hugging incidents).
Now, most of these are silly and dumb and good for nothing more than a good laugh. There are helpful "How To" pages, as well - they're just not as much fun to write about. I must admit being slightly disappointed that there are no instructions for wiping your ass. I'm thinking of requesting that one. That's right - if there's a topic you're curious about that no one has written on yet, you can request that someone supply you with step-by-step instructions. Each category has a request section - ranging from semi-ridiculous topics like (How To) Be Like Raven Baxter from "That's So Raven" to serious inquiries such as How to Deal With a Bipolar Family Member.
Next time I need to know how to do something, I hope I remember to click this site first. Even if I don't find the info I'm looking for, I'm almost guaranteed to find a good laugh.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
