Why My Son Said He Didn’t Believe in Evolution — and Why That Troubled Me

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by Rob T:

“Some people believe in evolution, that we came from apes. But I think they’re wrong because it’s not in the scriptures.”

Those words came from the mouth of my 5-year-old son recently. They took me by surprise, not because of his opinion, but because he was thinking of this issue and forming a personal stance. Was I underestimating his intelligence and awareness of such profound matters? That’s likely.

Impressed as I was that he could articulate this thought, I also was troubled by what he said.

Shouldn’t I have rejoiced, as an LDS parent, that my child took a firm stand with what I believe to be the word of God?

School Violence

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by Eliana:

We are a family of pacifists by any stretch of definition; my husband, 6’4” and 300 pounds, has never hit anyone in his life. I got in a fight in fourth or fifth grade when another girl called me an egghead. Otherwise, nothing. Our laid back, quiet family is such that our first son, Cole, spent his early years confused by kids who were aggressive on the playground. It was so outside his experience that he’d come back, flabbergasted, asking why a person would push him.

Cole’s in third grade at a school focused on science and engineering. It’s a public school but a specialized one. He loves it and I love that they are all a bunch of nerds running around together, oblivious to the fact that not everyone talks about computer coding while playing soccer.

A few days ago I got an email from Cole’s teacher. There had been an incident. The kids were standing in line to go to lunch when Girl behind my son started punching him in the back. In his version, “I told on her,” he cried, life went on. At the end of the day, Girl came over to apologize; Cole was sitting down, she stood above him, said sorry, then gently slapped his face.

Immediate thoughts as I read this email with several hours left in the school day: should I go get him and rescue him? Can this Girl be disappeared? Then, almost as quickly, have I done something to make my son a target?

An Infographic: Should I Homeschool?

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by Eliana:

Eliana Osborn was raised on cold weather and wild animals in Anchorage, Alaska, setting the stage for her adult life in the Sunniest Place on Earth in Arizona. She grew up in the church and didn't know there were places where conformity was preached. She has degrees. She writes. She teaches. She has some kids. She even has a husband. She's trying to do her best. Twitter: Eliana0Eliana. Website: elianaosborn.com.

MMM Library: Let's Talk About …

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by Shawn Tucker:

The other night at Institute we had a very interesting discussion. My students asked the age-old chastity question about what physical intimacy is appropriate before marriage. They happened to ask the simultaneous question of what is appropriate inside of marriage. I find the second question to be easier to address than the first one, but in answering the second a new thought occurred to me about the first.

I told the students that it is my opinion that the church does not have very many specific or hard-and-fast rules about what intimacy is appropriate in marriage. It seems to me that for obvious reasons that intimacy should not involve other people either directly or indirectly. It also seems obvious that the expression of intimacy should never be demeaning, manipulative, or coercive. Beyond that, it seems to me that every married couple must communicate openly about sexual expression, about what each person wants or needs or finds satisfying. I also told my students that these discussions are probably ongoing throughout a marriage.

Cynicism the Destroyer

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by Shawn Tucker:

In one of my first semesters at BYU after my mission, I took an American Literature course, and one of our first readings was Jonathan Edwards' Personal Narrative. Oh, and I hated it. I remember getting very upset at the Calvinist Edwards and at his faulty ideas about God, salvation, predestination, and agency. I'm sure I probably went on quite a rant about it in class and to anyone who'd listen. My passionate dislike for Edwards' writing may have been connected with my idea that he was at least a stumbler in the darkness of the Apostasy if not one who, as the Lord told Joseph, drew near to God with his lips but whose heart was in reality far away.

As I had a habit from mission life of praying about just about everything, one day I found myself ranting to the Lord about Edwards. And when I did I felt God quietly yet sternly rebuke me. As I listened I felt the Lord make it clear that I had been unfair to Edwards, that I had approached his writing with a very negative predisposition, and that I had magnified all of the worst I could find and discounted or dismissed anything good in his Personal Narrative. Being thus rebuked caused me to re-read Edwards. The second reading, as you can imagine, brought to light a wonderful text written by a man using all of his powers to understand his relationship with God. I still treasure Edwards' writings, but what I treasure even more is what this experience taught me about cynicism.

What I mean by cynicism here is an unfair examination of anything, unfair because of an overarching, negative predisposition and a willingness to magnify the worst and disregard anything that might be good. When I cynically approached Edwards' account, it was as if I set out a series of landmines. Each mine is triggered by a belief or a view, and when Edwards' text went against my beliefs or views, the mine would explode. With my views or beliefs duly laid out, and with Edwards unaware of those views, it was inevitable that he would roll over them.

MMM Library: Calvin & Hobbes, Reflections

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by Seattle Jon:

The mornings have been colder lately, so I wasn't surprised when Seattle received its first heavy snow forecast of the season this past weekend (by Utah standards, nothing significant fell). I remember the first snowfall of last year. Not much had stuck, but the kids came home from church ready to have "snowball fights." When I wished them luck in gathering enough snow for even one snowball, Will said, "Well, maybe we'll just throw snowflakes at each other."

Snow and kids often turns my thoughts to Calvin & Hobbes (Calvin often created horrendous scenes with his snowmen). I grew up reading the comic strip in the Sunday paper and started buying the collection books when I noticed them turning up at our local Deseret Industries a few years ago. Today, most of the 18 published collections can be found in our cars, in our bathrooms, on our bookshelves or under our beds. Calvin & Hobbes is read so much, in fact, that the kids have developed several endearing C&H rituals.

On long car trips, the kids will turn down their favorite pages so they'll know where to start when they switch books with each other.

That One Time CES Didn't Hire Us Because I was "Different"

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by Kristine A:

Once upon a time I was a newlywed; a newlywed with a husband trying to be a Seminary teacher back in the Ricks College days that had an East Idaho Pre-Seminary (OPT) training program. So I took Religion 370, Intro to Teaching, in Fall 2001 along with my husband. I forget all the details back in the day, but we progressed through the program to where he was teaching seminary part-time at Madison, Sugar City, and Mud Lake High Schools. We were in our final semester where you are up for hire and it's pretty intense and down to the wire. I remember this last semester there are a few things they do to screen applicants:

1. Lots of in class evaluations by OPT area supervisor.
2. Spouse survey.
3. Meeting with CES hierarchy, if you pass middle management interview. I think there may have been a GA interview at the end right before hire.

We had a few things going against us:

1. The OPT area supervisor didn't like my husband. My husband didn't like him. They both thought that the other had a too high opinion of themselves and constantly tried to take each other down a notch. In retrospect it was entertaining.
2. I don't like being manipulated and I have a strong personality.

A Dream Deferred

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by Eliana:

You know that poem by Langston Hughes? Even if you don't do poetry, you've at least heard of the drama A Raisin in the Sun. I've always loved it, despite it being very foreign to my existence.

The options, according to the poem: a dream can dry up (like a grape becoming a raisin) or it can explode. I may be losing some of the linguistic beauty, but that's the Cliff Notes version.

I had a dream this year, the year my youngest child started kindergarten. My dream was to write a book. It has been simmering and floating around for a long time but I knew it would need more focus than I could manage with a small person around.

The Joy and Sadness of a Productive Summer

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by Shawn Tucker:

This past summer was particularly productive. I teach at a small, liberal arts University in North Carolina. Summer is the only time that I can do research, since teaching and other responsibilities take up most of my time during the rest of the year. And this summer was particularly productive. But there is something sad about why this summer was productive. Let me explain.

This summer I only have two of my four children at home. My oldest is serving as a missionary in Nevada, and my second child was off at BYU. I was home with my 15-year-old and my 11-year-old sons. We did some fun things together this summer including going to the pool, playing basketball, and seeing family. But only having half of my children at home, and having my remaining children a bit older, I found that I could get more of my academic work done. In fact this summer I completed the second half of a book manuscript. I was very happy to get that project done, but I learned something interesting in the process. Never before in my life could I have been as productive. It is not that I am smarter than before, it is just that I have fewer children at home. And when I got the book manuscript completed not only did I feel grateful to have it done, but I also felt grateful that I had never done so much previously. Every other summer I had spent more time with my children. I do not regret that at all, and as a matter fact I would prefer to be unproductive if it meant spending more time with my kids. If I would have completed a similar project in years past, it would have taken too much time from being with my children. To use this metaphor: I would have got to the top of my ladder only to realize that it had been leaning against the wrong wall.

And that is one of the nice lessons I have learned from being 45 years old and having older children. I do not regret that for most of my career I have been a father first and an employee second. I have done a good job at my job, but I have never let that job become my primary focus. So it is bittersweet now that I can spend more time and be more productive at my job precisely because my real job, my most satisfying job, requires somewhat less of my time.


Shawn Tucker grew up with amazing parents and five younger, wonderful siblings. He served as a missionary in Chile during the Plebiscite and the first post-dictatorship election. After his mission, he attended BYU, where he married ... you guessed it ... his wife. They both graduated, with Shawn earning a BA in Humanities. Fearing that his BA in Humanities, which is essentially a degree in Jeopardy, would not be sufficient, Shawn completed graduate work in the same ... stuff ... at Florida State University. He currently teaches at Elon University in North Carolina. He and ... you guessed it ... his wife have four great children. Twitter: @MoTabEnquirer. Website: motabenquirer.blogspot.com.
Image credit: clarkrc (used with permission).

President Clark, Stewardships, and Variety

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by Shawn Tucker:

There is some buzz about something President Clark of BYU-Idaho posted recently. You can read about that buzz here and here. My intention is not to refute anything in particular but simply to add one more point-of-view.

It is helpful for me to work under the assumptions that President Clark is a wise, thoughtful person who genuinely loves those he serves. I assume that he takes his particular stewardship very seriously. I also assume that he sees sides and has experiences with that stewardship that I could never know. Given these assumptions, it seems reasonable for me to also assume that his best judgment and his sincere affection are behind what he wrote.

What helps me think about what President Clark does in his stewardship is how others have responded to what I do in mine. I teach Institute in North Carolina, and on more than one occasion members who do not attend my class have expressed concerns about what we do. I pray every day for my Institute students by name, and I try to use all of my faculties to connect them with blessings God has for them via our time together. I find tremendous joy and satisfaction in this work. But I sometimes do things that do not fit what outsiders might expect of Institute.

While I think all of us should be very, very critical, bravely and humbly asking the most pressing and difficult questions about how we are doing what God has asked us to do, I wonder about how much we should question what others do in their stewardships. How much can I reasonably expect the Lord might tell me about how someone else is meeting the needs of those that she or he serves? What really is my role making such judgments? I will add that, on the surface, the letter President Clark wrote does not seem to line up with what I expect I might write, but perhaps Zion is better off for that. Perhaps variety and difference add to a richness that should neither be judged off-handedly nor dismissed by those who do not have that specific stewardship.


Shawn Tucker grew up with amazing parents and five younger, wonderful siblings. He served as a missionary in Chile during the Plebiscite and the first post-dictatorship election. After his mission, he attended BYU, where he married ... you guessed it ... his wife. They both graduated, with Shawn earning a BA in Humanities. Fearing that his BA in Humanities, which is essentially a degree in Jeopardy, would not be sufficient, Shawn completed graduate work in the same ... stuff ... at Florida State University. He currently teaches at Elon University in North Carolina. He and ... you guessed it ... his wife have four great children. Twitter: @MoTabEnquirer. Website: motabenquirer.blogspot.com.
Image credit: Ken Lund (used with permission) (image has been cropped).

Can You Talk Good English?

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by Eliana:

I made friends with a woman at church several years ago, the one you do, based on compatible children. We were miserably pregnant at the same time too, so our bond was sealed for life. She happens to be smart and funny and sardonic which helped too. Oh, and she's Japanese which is slightly less rare than finding a blue lobster in our community. 

Through my friend I met a few other Japanese women, and when she moved away I got to know one lady in particular quite well. Eventually, through my Yakuza-like insider connections to the hub of the Japanese diaspora on the US-Mexico border, I met Rina.

Rina is my conversation partner. We meet each week for an hour to talk. (I suspect my husband might be paying her to try to use up my word allotment each day.) Rina wants to practice her English and noticed, through various social encounters, that I speak clearly. I have so few talents that I appreciate such a compliment and immediately liked her.

Back to School Tips for High School/College Students

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by Shawn Tucker:

We hate to see them go and we love to see them go. Just sayin’. Here are some tips that might help them.

Practical Tip: Zotero. Zotero is a free bibliography management software. A what? What it does is easily insert citations for papers. So let’s say that your high school or college student has to write a paper with citations. This program makes it very, very easy. With the push of a button it also generates the Works Cited or Bibliography. And, if the student has done it in the wrong format, say MLA instead of APA, with the click of another button Zotero can change all of the citations and bibliography to another style. It is very easy to use, and it makes writing papers less tedious. Finally, Zotero is essential for longer papers and things like dissertations.

Interview with Educator Mike Rose

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by Eliana:

A hundred or so years ago, I knew I wanted to be a teacher. My school experience had been all about boredom and I knew I wanted to do better. I was assigned Lives on the Boundary in a teacher prep class in college and it blew me away. My upper middle-class k-12 world was expanded; good thing, since my first teaching job was at an alternative high school in a border community.

In 2013 I read Mr. Rose’s newest book which again perfectly aligned to my teaching career. Back to School is about community college, vocational school—second chances all around. I reached out and had the privilege of interviewing Mike Rose for a column at The Chronicle of Higher Education. He was interesting and gracious and didn’t at all make me feel like a weird education research groupie, even though I am.

Why School? is a classic Mike Rose text that has just been reissued and expanded. While reading it, my highlighter was busy and I kept wanting to talk to someone about the ideas inside—ideas about what is really happening in public education, about equality, about testing: all the big issues that deserve more than a sound bite. So I emailed Mr. Rose, hat in hand, and he agreed to chat with MMM readers about education from the parent perspective.

Eliana: You say that "there is a powerful and concerted attempt assisted by mass media to portray public education as a catastrophic failure." I hear this time and time again, even as most of us are happy with the actual classroom experience our children are having. Is public education a failure? Who benefits from a belief that it is?

Mike Rose: Here’s a fascinating statistic from public opinion surveys. While many people believe that public schools in general are failing, a high percentage of those same people rate their local school as good to very good. This is not an uncommon pattern. It could reveal an unfounded preference for schools one sees as one’s own, or it could reveal a judgment based on more accurate local knowledge.

It is absolutely true that some of our schools are failing their students. These are typically schools that are in poor communities, are under resourced, and have a history of turnover in administrators and teachers. But many schools are doing a good job, and some are exemplary.

“Face it, the public schools have failed,” a bureau chief for a national news magazine tells me, offhandedly. A talk-radio host in L.A. actually said: “The kids in the Los Angeles Unified School District are garbage.”

MMM Library: How to Hijack a Meeting

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by Dustin:

This post was originally published on December 20, 2011.

Mormons do meetings. Lots of them. Three meetings during Church with break-out meetings during the meetings, meetings before and after the block, meetings during the week ... meetings to coordinate those meetings. There is no end to our gathering and this will likely never change. We are a people who congregates and does so often. This culture of meetings means that we have a higher chance of being well-coordinated. It also means that opportunities are plentiful for meeting-sabotage.

Meeting-sabotage occurs when individuals knowingly or unknowingly take the power in a meeting, often without warning. Meetings are prime territory for power struggles, although in our oftentimes meek Mormon culture, the power usually goes and never returns.

As a career teacher, below are several tricks of the trade that often get deployed in my classes. I haven't yet found effective means for rescuing meetings or classes after these weapons have been discharged, but I enjoy witnessing their skillful use. Whether you are a teacher or student, recognizing these implements and learning how to effectively manage and/or utilize them can yield immense power in the classroom or cultural hall. Use them wisely:

#1 The "Just Real Quick"

This phrase immediately excuses a comment of any length, regardless if it's actually quick or not. Use it to introduce a topic, derail a conversation, or free-flow a monologue. For optimum power combine this move with "I was just going to say" or "I was thinking." For example:

Tami Teacher: "So let's move on to the Beatitudes."
Paul: "Oh, just real quick before we move on ...
Tami: "Oh, uh, yes Paul? Something to add?"
Paul: "I was just going to say that I think there are several reasons why camels wouldn't fit through the eye of a needle, logistically speaking. First ..."

Ideas for Periods of Academic Transition

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by Seattle Jon:

Our children re-entered the public school system (7th, 6th, 3rd and 2nd grades) this year after five years of being part-time homeschooled. I'll be honest, there were tears shed when the decision was made (mostly from the kids). I think they truly enjoyed the way they were schooled and realized how much they would miss their interactions with friends and teachers at the resource center they attended. But we sensed some anticipation as well, as if new adventures were around the corner.

As parents, our two biggest transitional concerns - especially for our seventh-grade daughter, were social and academic. We thought long and hard about what we could do to help the transition go more smoothly. Here are a few ideas we implemented.

(1) Homework Table - Our three elementary-aged boys have minimal homework, so they are required to start their homework at our kitchen table as soon as they get home. My wife tries to make the table as inviting as possible, with snacks and supplies waiting for them. Unless there is a conflict on the calendar, none of our boys leave the table until their homework is done.

(2) Game Nights - This idea is patterned after my own experiences as a teenager. My dad was around and usually involved with the young men's program, either as a bishop or a leader, so it seemed like there were always kids hanging out at our house. We suggested to our two oldest the idea of a semi-regular game night with their friends and they ran with it. We asked them to call each friend - no texts or emails until after the invitation was extended - and helped them plan fun games and food. One idea put forth by our 13 year-old and implemented during Game Night II was a "phone bin" for all the mobile phones. Forced socializing is still socializing, right? The house can get a little crazy cozy with 12 teenagers playing Reverse Charades, Pit, Spoons and Scum, but the social lessons are worth the craziness coziness.

Not So Blind Ambition

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by Eliana (bio)

This summer, my family and I traveled across the country and visited friends who moved away several years ago. It was comfortable in that way you hope for, when time and miles fall away and you remember why you became friends in the first place.

Among the four adults, three of us have master's degrees and one person is finishing her graduate degree. The conversation turned toward education one night. The thing is, I really want to get my Ph.D. I'm not doing it though. Money, of course, is a factor, but not the biggest one. When I'm honest with myself, I want to further my education for all the wrong reasons. I hate admitting it—I generally don't say it aloud because it makes me sound petty and vain.

See, I'm good at my job teaching English. I've wanted to be a teacher since I was about four years old. My entire patriarchal blessing talks about my career. I'm very lucky to be able to teach part-time while raising my young children. All of that is well and good. If I wanted to get a doctorate to advance my career, I think that would be a valid purpose (although the world of humanities professors is not as glamorous as one may imagine).

If I wanted to get more training to be a better person, to feel like I am fulfilling the measure of my creation to expand my mind, or to make the world a better place, I'd be all over it. Those are things that would come, especially as I'd love to be involved in education policy locally and nationally. But in my heart I know that such lofty ideals aren't my motivation either.

See, I'm a terrible person. I want to get a doctorate because I want to be Dr. Eliana. I want to be thought of us smart, with a paper to back it up. I can't believe I'm telling you all this. I'm cringing even as I type. It is entirely selfish, vain and ambitious for all the wrong reasons. Which is why I'm not doing it.

Is Mormonism an Affinity Scam?

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by Shawn Tucker (bio)

An affinity scam is a fraud where the victims are taken in because they share something in common. This affinity or commonality makes them more trusting, less critical of claims, and then more willing to give fraudsters both the benefit of the doubt and a possible "in house" solution to the problem. Once fraudsters gain trust, then the scam spreads very quickly through the group. The recent Madoff fraud is a recent and spectacular example of an affinity scam. Oh, and according to a report in the Economist, Utah is the affinity fraud capital of the United States.

It is easy to see how Mormons might be taken in by fraudsters. We are welcoming to newcomers and inherently trusting of those in the flock. And we are slow, very slow apparently, to see wolves in sheep's clothing. This has raised a very troubling question for me: is Mormonism an affinity scam? Are Mormons, for the most part, lulled into believing the church's claims for the same reasons that so many Mormon are taken in by fraudsters?

There seem to be good reasons to conclude that yes, Mormonism is an affinity scam. Children are carefully trained to understand and then repeat key doctrinal principles. They are very powerfully rewarded for adherence, and just as powerfully de-incentivized to deviate. Young people are encouraged to socialize and marry within the community. There is also a strong cultural norm toward marrying earlier than non-Mormons. Those young married couples seem to have children sooner and find their place strongly cemented into Mormon church congregations. As an Institution, the church does not seem particularly forthright about the unpleasant or at least human elements of its history, including its racism, sexism, and mistreatment of gays. Polygamy also seems to be frequently glossed over. A reading of Rough Stone Rolling gives one the sense that South Park's version of how Joseph translated the Book of Mormon is much closer to historical fact than what one might believe from church illustrations of that process. All of this lends credence to the idea that not only are Mormons easy victims of financial scams, but they may also be easily hoodwinked by other forms of intellectual, emotional, or spiritual duplicity.

I think the worst thing that Mormons can do is to just pretend that the above three paragraphs do not exist. Remember, affinity scams are effective because people of a group are too trusting and less critical. The best way, it seems to me, to avoid an affinity scam is to act as if one is not part of the group and try to develop an outsider's critical eye. Two things might be helpful in develop an outsider's critical eye: always having the faith to ask the hardest questions and missionary work.

An Increasingly Wicked World?

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by Seattle Jon (bio)

World news of late has been filled with natural disasters, war and economic instability. Church leaders are often quick with the reason why - we're living in "an increasingly wicked world."

I don't know about you, but I'm not a big fan of my kids thinking the world they live in is becoming increasingly wicked. Why? I don't find it particularly helpful to have them fearful of their future. The people over at Business Insider must feel the same, as they recently put together 31 charts to help restore our faith in humanity. Many of the charts combat what we often hear in the pews about an increasingly wicked world (see them all here). How do you feel when you're told you're living in an increasingly wicked world?

"Now, I do not wish to be an alarmist. I do not wish to be a prophet of doom. I am optimistic. I do not believe the time is here when an all-consuming calamity will overtake us." - Gordon B. Hinckley, General Conference, October 2001

Holding Your Ground (with Pie)

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by Shawn Tucker (bio)

In my work as an Institute teacher, I feel like I get to watch brave young people on the frontlines. They come to class with many serious concerns. An example of this is when they are genuinely troubled by all of the red and pink equal signs on Facebook, causing them to wonder if they should be in favor of them, be threatened by them, or pretend they are not there. (If you are not aware, the sign is two pink lines that form on equal sign on a red background, and it is sign of support for gay marriage.) I have the privilege of talking with them about their concerns and exploring how their faith can help them address those concerns.

Elder Holland's recent conference talk Lord, I Believe included this very useful quote: "In moments of fear or doubt or troubling times, hold the ground you have already won, even if that ground is limited." As we discuss how faith can help us address concerns, fears, doubts, and troubling times, we talk about holding the ground that has already been won. I find Holland's military imagery very interesting. Students do feel like this is a conflict, a pitched battle. But to talk about holding the ground they have won, I like to talk about pie.

I love pie, and I will admit that they are disappointed when I mention pie and then draw a circle on the board. They soon see that we are making a pie chart. Here's how we do it: I ask them about key parts of their beliefs or their testimony. Many mention a faith that we have a loving Heavenly Father who sent a Savior for us. They mention the power of the Holy Ghost to witness of this truth to them. I put that under the idea of The Godhead. That is so important that they give it a very big part of the pie. Some students mention a strong central belief in how God speaks to us through the scriptures, so that gets a piece. Others mention how obedience has proven to be reliable and powerful. Some students talk about the abiding faith that they have in ordinances and sacraments, or in living prophets or eternal families. We put these up and make a chart.

And then I ask them about their concerns: gay marriage, racism and sexism in the church, historical issues, and others. Where do these things figure in? They usually get a piece, but it is usually rather small. I believe that these issues are important, and should not be eliminated, but the pie chart allows them to see them in a larger context. This chart should not trivialize those concerns; it should place them in a larger context. It allows them to see their concerns in the context of the ground that they have already won. I also encourage them to think about the battles that they have fought for the faith that is so valuable to them. I point out how that faith is battle-tested. And the pie illustrates how that faith has been valuable in a way that might instill hope in them in addressing new concerns or in new battles.

Guest Post: Men's Conference?

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It doesn't matter if you're man or woman, gay or straight, dark- or light-skinned. All can equally submit guest posts to Modern Mormon Men. Write something now and submit via email.

My name is Ethan Unklesbay. I'm a Junior in Spanish Teaching at BYU. After growing up in southwest Ohio, I served a mission in Chile, Rancagua. I play the guitar, the harmonica, and enough piano to get myself into trouble (because I can't actually play any hymns). I love literature, especially in Spanish or from Spain. Being a Mormon is awesome, but sometimes I think it gets complicated, and that more so at BYU than elsewhere. Scott Hales recommended me to MMM while he and I were on a trip through Logan (to visit the temple) and Brigham City (to visit the grave of Nephi Anderson's first wife, Asenath). Read all of Ethan's guest posts here.

I was in the Wilkinson Student Center at BYU. It was May 2nd, and the campus was bustling with activity.

To my left there were women. To my right there were women. In front of me, women. Behind me was an extra ice cream cart … and more women. The men's bathrooms had been converted for the week into women's bathrooms. I hadn't seen that much pink since the last time I saw pictures of oral surgery. It was kind of crazy.

In the bookstore there were probably 5 to 10 men. Proportionally, that was about 3% I'd guess. Driving in Provo. Need I say more.

But this happens every year. This is "normal" as far as springtime on campus goes.

What if there were a Men's Conference?

I can imagine it now. No wait for the bathroom. Nobody in the bookstore. No line for brownies or ice cream. Bronco Mendenhall would be a keynote speaker. The bowling alley and pool tables downstairs would be full instead of the terrace and the bathrooms. Instead of a Hillary Weeks concert, it might be Imagine Dragons (they're Mormons, right?) or maybe The Killers (their lead singer is definitely Mormon). It would take three hours to get anything from Taco Bell … or Scoreboard, the burger place … vending machines empty and no hot wings left in the Utah Valley.

Maybe Men's Conference isn't my best idea. Let's just stick with the Priesthood Session.