Best-ever Shrimp and Grits

I've heard that no two people make shrimp and grits exactly alike. Heck, I don't even make it the same way twice in a row, mostly because I don't tend to follow recipes. Funny, huh, since I write recipes? But those are mainly for the folks who don't prefer to wing it, as I do. At any rate, most of the time I throw stuff together with what ingredients I have on hand. In this particular case, I really only had the basics: shrimp, and grits. I also had some andouille sausage--albeit a mild but still flavorful rope of Johnsonville brand--and a batch of homemade Emeril's "Essence," aka Cajun seasoning. Alas, I didn't have any fresh bell pepper or celery, two-thirds of the holy trinity of Creole and Cajun cooking, but I did have an onion. A decent start, but not quite enough.

I scrounged in the cupboard, hoping I had a jar of roasted red peppers. What I found was one jar of sundried tomatoes and another of Trader Joe's Sweet Picante Peppers with Creamy Cheesy Filling. Hoping these wouldn't be too sweet, I cracked open the jar and popped one into my mouth. MMmmmm! Not as sweet as Peppadews, a bit softer in texture. These would work! I squeezed out the cheesy filling to use in the grits, and chopped up some smoked gouda--who doesn't like cheesy grits? There were some leftover mushrooms in the fridge as well. Why not? 

I wasn't really surprised that the finished dish was tasty. While the elements were thrown together somewhat haphazardly, none of them were particularly weird. There were lots of good textures: smooth grits, perfectly cooked shrimp, soft mushrooms and onions, the slight chew of sundried tomatoes. Since most of the ingredients were pre-seasoned, I really only needed a pinch of salt to draw out the moisture while cooking the onion and mushrooms. It all worked amazingly well, enough for Mr Minx to declare the dish "restaurant quality." 

Shrimp & Grits

This was so good, I'm recording the recipe so I could maybe make it again some day. Not that I'll ever have this same perfect storm of ingredients on hand. But maybe?

For the shrimp:

1 lb large shrimp, peeled and deveined

2 teaspoons Cajun seasoning

extra virgin olive oil 

1/2 large onion, sliced

4 ounces white mushrooms, sliced

pinch salt

1/2 13.5-ounce pack Johnsonville Andouille sausage, sliced about 1/3" thick

6-7 Trader Joes Sweet Picante Peppers with Creamy Cheesy Filling

3-4 sundried tomatoes in oil, roughly chopped

For the grits:

2 1/4 cup water

1/2 cup regular or old fashioned (not quick) grits

2-ish ounces chopped smoked gouda

the cheese from the picante peppers

garlic powder

Chopped parsley for garnish 

To make the shrimp:

Toss the shrimp in a bowl with the Cajun seasoning and a healthy drizzle of the olive oil. Cover and refrigerate until ready to cook.

Put the onion and mushrooms in a saute pan with a pinch of salt and a drizzle of olive oil. Cook over medium heat until the veg have given up their liquid and have softened and browned a bit. Scrape into a bowl and set aside. 

Add a touch more oil to the pan and brown the sausage pieces.

While the sausage is cooking, squeeze the cheese from the peppers. Chop the peppers roughly. Add the peppers and the sundried tomatoes to the onion and mushrooms. Add the browned sausage to the bowl. Deglaze the saute pan with a bit of water--half a cup or so--and add that water to the bowl, too.

Cook the shrimp in the same pan over medium-high heat, turning once, until all shrimp are opaque on both sides. A tip: don't walk away while you're cooking shrimp. They cook FAST. You just need 3-4 minutes. After that, they're on the fast track to rubber-town. Once the shrimp are opaque, pour in the veg and water, turn the heat up to high, and bring to a boil. Cook until everything is hot, just a couple minutes. Taste the liquid for seasoning and add more salt and Cajun seasoning if you think it needs it.

To make the grits:

Bring the water to a boil. Whisk in the grits, then turn the heat down to low. Cover the pot and cook until the grits have absorbed the water and become tender, stirring occasionally, 15-20 minutes. Add the cheeses and the garlic powder and stir until the cheese is completely melted.

Dollop the grits onto plates, spoon shrimp mixture on top. Garnish with chopped parsley.

Serves 3-4, depending on appetite.

* Any products in this post that are mentioned by name may have been provided to Minxeats by the manufacturer. However, all opinions belong to Minxeats. Amazon links earn me $! Please buy!

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Blackened Cauliflower Steaks

People do all kinds of weird shit with cauliflower these days, like make "rice" out of it and pizza crusts. Folks are so damn afraid of carbs, it makes me laugh. And maybe fake rice and fake pizza crusts made with cruciferous veg are tasty, but I think cauliflower is pretty yummy in its natural state. One thing I've seen and liked the idea of is cauliflower "steaks." Of course they're not really steaks, nor are they meant to simulate meat. They're just cut from stem to top in large flat slices, making a wide, uneven plank-like piece of vegetable matter. "Steak" sounds more appetizing than "plank," doesn't it? I thought maybe I'd make some "steaks" and put blackening seasoning on them.

I had recently received a package from The Spice Lab, a woman-owned company that was showing their wares at the recent Winter Fancy Food Show. I wasn't able to attend, so they were nice enough to pack up a couple of different seasonings and send them my way. I got a huge shaker bottle of their blackening seasoning and some of their steak seasoning, too. After tasting both, I thought the blackening one would work better on the cauliflower.

The technique of "blackening" foods, particularly fish, was popularized by famed Louisiana chef Paul Prudhomme in the 80s. While it's no longer trendy, one does see blackened things on restaurant menus even today. Since I associate that flavor profile with Cajun/Creole food, I thought I'd toss a few more of their cooking staples into the meal, namely trinity (celery, bell pepper, and onion) and remoulade. I also ended up putting an egg on top because the cauliflower I had was pretty small, and it didn't seem like enough food. Plus, who doesn't like a runny egg on their dinner?

Blackened Cauliflower Steaks with Cauliflower Hash, Remoulade, and a Fried Egg

For the cauliflower:
1 large cauliflower with a fat stem
Olive oil
The Spice Lab Blackening Seasoning

For the hash:
1/2 red bell pepper, diced
2 sticks celery, diced
1 small onion, diced
Olive oil
Salt and pepper

For the remoulade:
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon horseradish
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon to 1 tablespoon Tabasco
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 teaspoons capers, roughly chopped
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon Creole seasoning
Salt

To serve:
Butter
Eggs

To make the cauliflower: Preheat the oven to 400°F.

Remove the green leaves from the cauliflower and trim the stem flat. Turn the cauli so the stem is facing upward. Carefully slice down through the center of the stem all the way to the opposite end of the head to make two halves. You should be able to slice each half again in the same way to form at least two fairly similar steaks. If the stem is particularly fat, you  might be able to squeeze another one out of each half, although they won't be as large overall.

Place the steaks on a foil-lined baking sheet. Brush both sides with olive oil. Sprinkle a heavy coating of the blackening seasoning on the top side. Roast for 20-25 minutes, until the point of a knife inserted into the stem goes in with relatively little effort. Don't over roast, however - you don't want mushy cauliflower.

To make the hash: Chop any remaining cauliflower into small pieces. Saute the bell pepper, celery, and onion in a bit of olive oil until tender. Add the chopped cauliflower. Cook until the cauliflower is tender. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

To make the remoulade: Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Taste for seasoning and add salt, if needed.

To serve: Fry eggs in butter to your liking (we like over-easy). Place some of the hash in a bowl, top with a cauliflower steak and a fried egg. Serve remoulade on the side.

Serves 2-4.

* Any products in this post that are mentioned by name may have been provided to Minxeats by the manufacturer. However, all opinions belong to Minxeats. Amazon links earn me $! Please buy!



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The Crackpot

In the early 2000s, the basic cable channels were peppered with commercials for the Crackpot restaurant. The announcer would rattle off the eccentric list of crab cake offerings like the Hawaiian crab cake, the Caribbean Jerk crab cake, the Cruise Missile crab cake, and their Pounder Plus. The latter was announced with a slightly suggestive lilt in the voice, implying that size really did matter. The Minx and I would joke about these commercials and we swore that we had to check this place out. Then the commercials disappeared and so did our curiosity. Over 10 years later, a coupon appeared in the mail for the Crackpot, so we decided we should finally make due on our pledge.

The Crackpot is a pretty old school establishment and they make no bones about it, even declaring themselves a "retro" restaurant on their web site. Being rather retro myself, I'm all for it provided the food is good. Before diving into some of their signature crab cakes, we ordered some appetizers. I went with the fried calamari since I think it's a good gauge of a restaurant's ability to handle seafood.

To my relief, the calamari were properly cooked. No rubber bands here. The light coating tasted of Old Bay, and in place of the usual chunky marinara, I was given a thin, slightly sweet tomato sauce that would make for a pretty good pizza sauce.

The Minx ordered the oysters imperial. Talk about old school! The sauce had that lightly sweet richness that we remembered from childhood, and the vivid yellow color, too. There was a decent amount of crab involved, and the oysters were succulent and meaty.

For the crab cakes, we didn't want to go too crazy. After all, a Mexican cake with salsa, onions, and green peppers probably will not taste much like crab against all that spice and sauce. Instead, I opted for the blackened crab cake with Creole seasonings. The cake itself was quite good. Not authentic Maryland crab or jumbo lump, but meaty all the same with very little filler. The Creole seasonings were barely noticeable on the first few bites, but the spice slowly caught up with me as I continued to eat it.

Minx's Caribbean Jerk crab cake looked more blackened on the outside than my blackened cake, and the spices were more prevalent right from the first bite. Not sure that this combination is entirely correct for a crab cake. Ingredients like allspice, nutmeg, and thyme don't really connect in my mind with seafood, but the cake itself was pleasant to eat. Hers seemed to have a bit more stuff other than crab in it, too, but she felt it more "saucy," than "bready," which is a good thing.

The specialty crab cakes were fun to try, but next time we'll likely stick to their "old-fashioned all lump" crab cake (old fashioned and all lump don't quite go together in our minds, but whatever) or some of their other seafood entrees. The Crackpot is the kind of place that reminds me of my youth. Satisfying seafood dishes, families huddled over piles of steamed crabs, and an Orioles game on the television, This is the kind of retro I can appreciate.



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Okra Etouffee

Who doesn't like okra? So delicious! I know, right?

Wait. You say you don't like okra? What? And neither do you, or you, or you?

Poor okra doesn't seem to have many friends. But I love it, and so does Mr Minx. Yeah yeah, I can hear you whining now, "it's slimy! ewwww!" Shut up. It's not slimy at all if you cook it correctly. And it tastes great, a little like green beans, I think.

So we had this huge bag of okra from the CSA, and it was going to go bad if we didn't use it up pronto. I decided we should make an okra etouffee, so consulted teh Innernets for a recipe. Just about every one I found involved dumping okra in a casserole, covering it with tomatoes, and then baking it. No, no, no...I wanted an etouffee recipe, like crawfish etouffee or shrimp etouffee. Stuff smothered in a roux-based sauce. Not just stuff smothered with other stuff. So I threw one together based on an old crawfish etouffee recipe I've used in the past. Roux + trinity + stock and seasonings. Add okra, simmer for a while et voila! Okra Etouffee.

Okra Etouffee

3 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup flour
1 cup diced onion
1 bell pepper, diced
3 ribs celery, diced
3 cloves garlic, crushed
1 tablespoon Cajun seasoning (we like Emeril's Essence)
2 cups chicken stock
1 bay leaf
1 lb okra, sliced
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
Steamed white rice for serving
Chopped scallions for garnish

Melt butter in a large pot. Add the flour and open the windows. Stir flour and butter together over medium-high heat until the mixture is medium-dark brown, a bit darker than peanut butter. It will smoke, but as long as you are stirring constantly and watching it like a hawk, it should not burn. Once the roux reaches a nice brown shade, dump in the onion, bell pepper, and celery. Inhale deeply, for the scent of trinity cooking in roux is one of the best cooking scents there is. Stir the vegetables and roux until veg are completely coated. Turn the heat down to medium, add a big pinch of salt, and cover the pot. Allow the vegetables to soften, stirring occasionally, about 10 minutes.

Add the garlic, Cajun seasoning, chicken stock, and bay leaf and bring to a boil. Stir in the okra. Cook over medium heat for 25-30 minutes, until okra is tender. Taste for seasoning and add salt and pepper, more Cajun seasoning, a bit of hot sauce, whatever floats your boat.

Serve over white rice and garnish with chopped scallions.



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Swiss Chard Gumbo

For some time, the Minx has been pushing for us to eat more fruits and vegetables. While I'm not averse to eating vegetables and sometimes prefer a vegetarian meal over something meat-centric, I'm often challenged by the task of making vegetable dishes tasty and satisfying. I have a relatively small number of tricks up my sleeve, one being to make Indian-inspired dishes, but getting the seasonings just right is daunting. Another trick is to make gumbo since I've learned how to make a dark roux quickly and I can nail the Cajun/Creole flavor profile more easily.

Recently, the Minx signed us up for a CSA (community supported agriculture) that delivers a box of fresh fruits and vegetables to our door when we place an order. Among the items we received was Swiss chard, so the Minx tasked me with using the Swiss chard in our dinner. Since we also happened to have onion, celery, and a bell pepper, gumbo seemed to be the best option. It would also give me a chance to use some of the chicken andouille sausage that had been languishing in the freezer for weeks. Normally I would make rice to go with gumbo, but we happened to have some small potatoes around, so I thought that might be an interesting twist. I also threw in some okra that I had picked from the garden, but it's not absolutely necessary for the recipe. The silky Swiss chard is the star here.

Swiss Chard Gumbo

1 medium onion chopped
1/2 cup celery chopped
1 red or yellow bell pepper chopped
3 andouille sausages
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup flour
2 cups chicken stock
4 cloves garlic smashed
1/2 pound baby fingerling potatoes
1 bunch Swiss chard chopped
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1/4 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp smoked paprika
salt to taste

Chop your onion, celery, and bell pepper and set aside. Also slice your three andouille sausages and set aside. Preheat a large pot until it starts to smoke and put in your butter and flour. Stir constantly until the butter and flour are combined and begin to brown. This is your roux. Keep stirring until the roux turns the color of dark chocolate. There will be quite a bit of smoke, so don't panic. That's just the way roux cooks. Once the roux reaches the right color, throw in your trinity (onion, celery, and bell pepper) along with the sliced sausage. Toss a little bit of salt in to release the juices from the vegetables. Reduce the heat and mix everything together. Put a lid on the pot and allow the onion to sweat.

At this point, smash the garlic with a garlic press and dump it into the 2 cups of chicken stock. Once the onions have become translucent and the roux has become liquidy, pour the stock and garlic into the pot. Raise the heat and stir. Once the mixture reaches a boil, toss in the fingerling potatoes. Depending on the size, you can leave them whole or, if they are too big, cut them into finger-sized chunks. Turn the heat to medium and let simmer.

Remove the leaves of the Swiss chard from the stems. Dice the stems and add them to the pot. Give them about 10 minutes to cook. Meanwhile, roughly chop the Swiss chard leaves. After the stems have cooked for 10 minutes, add the leaves and the seasonings. Adjust the seasoning to your own taste. Once the leaves have cooked for about five minutes, the gumbo is ready to be served.  

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Red Beans & Rice

Back in the early 90s, my friend Marshall and I decided to throw a grand Mardi Gras party. We actually expected our guests to wear black tie, because we were pretentious like that, plus we lived in Guilford (with our parents), where most people already own formalwear. But neither of us had any money, so we decided to be frugal with the eats. Red beans and rice is cheap poor people food, but it tastes great, and if we spent the bulk of our pennies on alcohol, who would notice that they were eating stewed beans and ham hocks?

So the two of us spent one early February afternoon cooking up a huge vat of red beans, enough to feed 20 people or more. We carefully packed the beans into Tupperware containers and put them in the fridge for the big day. All we'd need to do for the party is dump it all back in the pot and reheat it, plus make rice. Easy peasy.

But when the day of the party arrived, so did major ice storms. We had sleet for a day or two prior to the party, and on the day of, the neighborhood was glistening with ice. Everything sparkled. Truthfully, it was very pretty. Pretty annoying. Marshall's sidewalks and front steps were glazed with an inch or so of the stuff, and as soon as the buckets of hot water we poured on to melt the ice hit the ground, it froze, too. We didn't have any salt on hand, and didn't want to venture out into the mess to get some. Neither did we want our guests to risk their necks in high heels and evening slippers to attend our fete.

Sadly, we cancelled the party. Not postponed, cancelled. Some of our less-pretentious friends were annoyed that they had to return party clothes to the store, unworn. I had purchased a black, strapless, floor-length gown and was looking forward to showing off my newly-svelt bod. I had purchased it on a deep, deep discount (I think it cost me $36 bucks) so I kept it.

In addition to the the bottles of alcohol we had purchased for the occasion, we also had several gallons of red beans that weren't going to be eaten. Not by party guests, at least.

For months afterward, whenever I got a call to join Marshall and his family for dinner, I knew I'd be facing a feast of red beans and rice. Fortunately, the family had a chest freezer in the basement, and the beans went to live down there until we managed to finish them off. Eventually, it got to the point that I never wanted to see red beans and rice again. In fact, I didn't eat them for 19 years, until I decided to make them for dinner one Sunday evening.

Some recipes involve tomatoes, andouille sausage, and all sorts of extraneous ingredients, but I think it's best to keep it simple: just trinity, beans, and ham hocks.

Red Beans & Rice

2 onions, diced
1 red bell pepper, diced
2 stalks celery, diced
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 pound dried red kidney beans
3 smoked ham hocks
3 bay leaves
Salt
Freshly ground black pepper
Hot sauce
Steamed white rice
Chopped green onions

Place the onion, bell pepper, and celery in a large stock pot with the olive oil. Cook vegetables over medium heat, stirring frequently, until they are softened. At that point, add the beans, ham hocks, bay leaves, and enough water to cover beans by an inch or so. Bring mixture to a boil, then cover the pot and reduce the heat to low. Simmer the beans for 2-2.5 hours, stirring occasionally, adding additional water if necessary to keep beans covered.

When beans begin to fall apart and the cooking liquid has become creamy, the beans are done.

Remove ham hocks and bay leaves. Cut the meat from the bones and chop it into small pieces. Add meat back to pot.

Season beans with salt, pepper, and hot sauce to taste. Serve with white rice and garnish with green onions.

Makes about 2 quarts.



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Mr. Minx's Gumbo Soup

Sometimes I get a hankerin' for a certain type of cuisine, but I just don't have the ingredients in my pantry that are intrinsic to that particular style of cooking. This happened to me not too long ago when I really got a craving for something in the Cajun/Creole department. I knew I had frozen okra, and we always have flour and butter on hand for a roux, so gumbo was a possibility. However, it was such a cold day, I decided a gumbo soup might be more comforting.

Then I looked in the fridge and realized that I didn't have the ingredients necessary for the trinity: onion, bell pepper, and celery. I had an onion, but no celery whatsoever and the only bell pepper I had was a jar of pickled sweet red peppers. This, however, would not deter me.

After some thought, I decided to use the pickled red peppers and add some ground celery seed to impart the celery flavor. Then I added chicken stock and seasoned the mixture with spices I felt would create that familiar Cajun flavor. It was still missing something, though. It had spicy heat, but a certain depth and sweetness was needed. I remembered how people added chocolate to chili, so I grabbed a jar of Nutella and dropped a blob of the chocolate and hazelnut spread into the soup. The added nuttiness and rich, chocolate sweetness balanced the spicy flavor nicely. The rest was just a matter of adding some frozen vegetables and protein.

The result was a satisfying soup that closely imitates the flavor elements of gumbo while having its own unique qualities. For example, the pickled sweet red peppers add a certain brightness and acidity. The Minx even said it tasted better than most gumbos she's eaten. Give it a try!

Mr. Minx's Gumbo Soup

1 medium onion, chopped
2 slices of pickled bell pepper, chopped (about a quarter of a pepper)
1 tsp. celery seed, ground to a powder in a mortar and pestle or coffee grinder
¼ cup flour
¼ cup butter
2 cups chicken stock
4 cups water
½ tsp. cayenne pepper
1 tsp. paprika
½ tsp thyme
2 tsp. Nutella spread
Salt to taste
2 gloves garlic, chopped
1 cup corn
1 cup okra
1 cup string beans
1 pound raw shrimp, shelled and deveined

Start a roux by adding the flour and cold butter into a dutch oven over high heat. As the butter melts, the flour will begin to toast. Stir the melting butter into the flour so that, by the time the butter is thoroughly melted, the mixture should take on a caramel color. Continue stirring until the roux turns a milk chocolate color.

Turn the heat down a bit to medium-high and add the onion, red bell pepper, and celery seed to the roux and stir together. Sprinkle some salt in at this point to sweat the onions. Once the onions are softened, put in the garlic, chicken stock, and water. Mix to combine and bring the liquid to a boil.

Add the okra, corn, and string beans along with the cayenne pepper, paprika, thyme, and Nutella spread. Stir everything together and bring it to a boil. Then turn the flame to low and let the soup simmer, covered, for about 1 ½ hours.

After the soup has simmered for 1 ½ hours, taste and adjust the seasoning as necessary. At this stage, if you want to give the soup a restaurant look, you can puree everything together with a stick blender. Otherwise, you can leave it chunky and rustic as shown in the picture.

Add your raw shrimp and leave to cook for a few more minutes (until the shrimp turn pink). If you don't have shrimp, you can substitute almost any precooked protein like leftover chicken or pork.

Serve with hot steamed rice. Makes 4 entree servings or 6-8 appetizer servings.

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theminx's thoughts: I was pretty amazed when Mr Minx told me he used Nutella in the soup. I couldn't taste it at all, and thought that he had to be kidding. But no, he was serious, and I have to give him credit for being daring. It worked. And the celery seed and pickled pepper combo was a dead ringer for fresh celery and bell pepper. Whoda thunk it?

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Spicy Cajun-style Potato Salad

Potato salad seems so simple, right? Just potatoes, mayo, and celery, maybe some pickle relish. When I was a kid, occasionally potato salad meant that yellow-tinted stuff that dad brought home from the deli on Saturdays, along with Polish ham, Muenster cheese, and bologna for lunch during the week. While I like potato salad just fine, the deli stuff scared me. For one thing, the potatoes were usually undercooked and crunchy, and for another - why was it yellow? I much preferred home-made potato salad, especially if my Grandma was doing the cooking. Her salad was simplicity itself: new potatoes cooked until tender in salted water, sour cream, and lots of chopped scallions. I was usually happy to consider it a meal in itself.

Sometimes when I make potato salad at home, I make it Grandma-style, but it's never quite the same. More often than not, I like to mix it up. Not long ago, after bringing home a muffuletta sandwich from my favorite Cajun restaurant, I decided it needed a side of potato salad. Cajun-style potato salad, with not only celery but also bell pepper and onion (the "Trinity"), Andouille sausage, and lots of grainy Creole mustard. And to make it yellow (because sometimes it just seems right), I used some lovely Idaho® Yukon Gold potatoes.

Cajun-style Potato Salad

3 lbs Idaho® Yukon Gold Potatoes, cut into 1" dice
1 1/2 cups diced chicken or turkey Andouille sausage
olive oil
2/3 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup Creole mustard
1 tablespoon Cajun seasoning (I like Emeril's Essence)
couple shakes of your favorite hot sauce (optional)
a few tablespoons heavy cream
1/2 cup finely chopped celery
1/2 cup finely chopped red bell pepper
1 bunch scallions, finely chopped
salt and pepper
chopped flat-leaf parsley (optional)

Cook potatoes in boiling, salted water until tender, about 8-10 minutes. Drain well and allow to cool to room temperature.

Heat a small sauté pan and add a teaspoon or so of olive oil. Cook sausage, stirring frequently until it begins to brown on the edges. Remove from heat and allow to cool.

In a small bowl, stir together mayonnaise, Creole mustard, Cajun seasoning, and optional hot sauce until well blended. If the sauce seems a little thick, add a few tablespoons of cream and stir well.

When potatoes are cool, place them in a large bowl and add cooked andouille sausage and all of the vegetables. Fold in mayonnaise mixture. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Before serving, refrigerate salad for an hour or two to allow flavors to marry. Makes about 2 quarts of potato salad.

This post was sponsored by the Idaho® Potato Commission. Minxeats has been compensated for recipe creation and posting.

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Jambalaya, My Ass

I saw this and just had to share it with you. You all know how Rocco DiSpirito makes me crazy, right? Once a "genius" chef, he now spends his time writing diet cookbooks and pretending to post on Facebook. (Rocco, honestly, hire an assistant with some grammar skills.) Recently, his assistant he shared that in honor of Mardi Gras, he's developed a low-cal, low-carb (and no doubt, low-flavor) version of the New Orleans favorite, jambalaya. Really? There's a reason the holiday is called "Fat Tuesday," you know; it's the time to indulge before the season of Lent begins.

I don't see the point of eating diet food the other 364 days of the year, much less on Mardi Gras.

Anyhoo...true jambalaya is a dish in which everything--including raw rice--is cooked in the same pot. Think paella and you're not too far off. It starts off with a sauté of the trinity - bell peppers, onions, and celery - in a bit of oil, after which time seasonings, rice, stock, and meat are added. If one uses little oil and lean meats, jambalaya doesn't have to be a gut-buster of a dish. If there's a concern about fat and calories, even on Mardi Gras, then one should eat it in moderation. Or add a larger proportion of vegetables than usual. But Rocco, well, he has to change everything about the dish. So much so that it's really quite a crime to call his dish "jambalaya" at all, since it bears no resemblance to the original.

First of all, he doesn't use rice. Instead, he uses something called "Miracle Rice," which is an orzo-like version of the Japanese yam-based noodle product called shirataki. Shirataki doesn't have the same mouthfeel as flour-based pasta, and I'm pretty damn sure the same is true of the fake rice. DiSpirito also uses adobo powder and chipotle chile powder as seasonings, rather than a classic Creole spice blend, like Emeril's Essence. So right off the bat, both the flavor and texture of the dish will be wrong.

Additionally, Rocco is horribly confused about the combination of vegetables that constitutes the "holy trinity" of Creole and Cajun cuisine. According to the following statement, he seems to think beans are part of the equation.

The rest of this dish is built around the basic trinity of Cajun cooking — bell peppers, onion and beans. 

Anyone who has ever watched even one episode of Emeril Live! knows that the third element is c e l e r y. Oddly, there seems to be evidence of celery in the photo provided with the recipe - check out the object in the lower right side of the bowl on the left:

Also notice that the chicken appears unappetizingly dry, more like breast meat than the thigh meat called for in the recipe. The "rice" looks more like barley. And...doesn't it appear to be garnished with basil? Basil? On the right, is a photo of real jambalaya. Mmmm...now that looks goooood! Oh, and if any version of jambalaya would happen to contain beans, then most likely they'd be red beans. Not black beans.

To sum up in one word - WTF?  You know, if he would dare make this dish on Chopped and call it jambalaya, Alex Guarnaschelli and Aaron Sanchez would have Rocco's head on a platter. Calling a dish something it's not is grounds for dismissal! Basically his dish is a mutant combination of jambalaya and red beans and rice, only nothing like either of them.

Here's the recipe. If you make it, be sure to try some real jambalaya first and then see if there's any resemblance at all. I'm betting not.

Shambalaya (taken verbatim from My Journal Courier, so you know I'm not making this shit up)
Start to finish: 30 minutes
Servings: 4

4 large boneless, skinless chicken thighs, cut into 2-inch chunks (about 15 ounces)
Salt and ground black pepper
1/2 tablespoon olive oil
3-ounces chicken and turkey andouille sausage (such as Applegate Farms), cut in to 1-inch slices
1 teaspoon adobo powder
1/4 teaspoon chipotle chili powder
1 1/2 cups chopped yellow onions
1 cup chopped red bell pepper
2 cloves garlic, minced
2/3 cup reduced-sodium chicken broth
Two 8-ounce packages Miracle Rice, rinsed
1/2 cup canned black beans, drained

Season the chicken with salt and pepper.

In a large nonstick saute pan over medium-high, heat the oil. Once the oil has started to smoke, add the chicken. Brown the chicken for 2 to 3 minutes, turning the pieces once. Remove the chicken from pan and add the sausage, browning it for about 1 minute, turning the pieces once.

Add the adobo and chili powder and cook for 30 seconds. Add the onions, then reduce heat to medium-low and caramelize them slowly until soft and browned, about 6 to 8 minutes. Add the peppers and garlic and cook until soft, about another 2 minutes.

Add the browned chicken, broth, Miracle Rice and black beans. Bring to a simmer. Simmer, uncovered, over medium to low heat for about 5 minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through and the sauce is slightly thickened. Season with salt and pepper and divide between 4 serving bowls.

Nutrition information per serving (values are rounded to the nearest whole number): 233 calories; 8 g fat (30 percent calories from fat) (2 g saturated); 103 mg cholesterol; 13 g carbohydrate; 28 g protein; 4 g fiber; 862 mg sodium.

Posted on Minxeats.com.

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler!

Today is Fat Tuesday, aka Mardi Gras, so it seems appropriate to celebrate with some Cajun/Creole dishes. Here are a couple of recipes from the Minxeats archives. Personally, I'm in the mood for some Cajun Kate's gumbo! Luckily, we have a couple of quarts in the freezer....

Blackened Shrimp with Corn Three Ways

King Cake

Seafood Etouffée

Posted on Minxeats.com.

Recipe Roundup - Mardi Gras Edition

Tomorrow is Fat Tuesday, so how about some N'awlins-style recipes?

Crabmeat Cheesecake with Pecan Crust

Muffuletta with Olive Salad

Dirty Rice

Cajun Jambalaya

Spinach Salad with Andouille Dressing and Three Nut Crusted Goat Cheese (maybe not authentic, but I've eaten it and I've made it at home and it's amazing!)

Crawfish Etouffee

Creole Bread Pudding

Commander's Palace Bread Pudding Soufflé (deeee-lish!)

Bananas Foster

King Cake