When I started blogging over three years ago, I had no idea what I was in for.
I had no idea about the friends that I’m meet, the partnerships I’d form, the amazing opportunities that I would have. Â Through attending conferences and events and visiting my Google reader, Â I’d met so many truly talented and wonderful people that I literally cannot imagine my life without them. Â And I’ve been so lucky to have people come and read what I write and be supportive and laugh with me (and occasionally at me). Â It’s really hard to give it all up.
And yet, I need to be honest with you and with myself.
Because I see the end in sight, and I always thought that when that happened I would just say it, instead of leaving people wondering.
I’ll start at the beginning and end at the end.
A few weeks ago I got an email from the people at Splish Splash, a water park. And they asked if I’d like to take my family to a water park for the day. And I had one of those moments when I pretended that I’d never met myself before and that I was the kind of person who likes doing fun things with her family, so I said Sure!
And we’re going tomorrow. Â Sunday. Â July 31st. Â You’ll need this information for my tombstone.
Splish Splash people sent the tickets and I immediately proceeded to Not Think About It. Â My daughter, however, proceeded to read every inch of their site and screech things like “Oh EM GEE! Â There’s a Tunnel of Terror! You drop from 40 feet in 12 seconds and it’s in the DARK!” Â and “A FIFTY foot drop! Into a 10 foot deep pool!” and “Drop 10 stories in THREE SECONDS!”
I looked at the park map and almost had a nervous breakdown:
The Lazy River looks promising
I’ve been having chest pains all week.
At first I thought that it was as a result of the heat and humidity and that as an older person, I should be taking in easy in this weather, but the chest pains persist even when I’m in a climate controlled environment.
I am having serious anxiety about this water park adventure.
And I’m assuming that it’ll be the end of me. Â So I wanted to say good bye to you properly.
One year ago ...
- Hello From Mama and Papa! - 2012
{ 47 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: charismatickid
July 30, 2011 at 12:25 pm
Yeah but who’s gonna take your place as the coolest NYC blogger around? I don’t have any blogs to smile at anymore!!!
Twitter: wendiaarons
July 30, 2011 at 12:30 pm
One poop in the pool & they shut it down. Just spitballin’ here.
Twitter: deckthoughts
July 30, 2011 at 1:58 pm
Word.
Three and they’ll shut it down for the rest of the season. Then you’re off the hook til next summer!
I had the same a few times before being dragged round theme parks, and riding log flumes…shudder!….you’ll have to survive and come back and tell us about it 🙂
Twitter: kidsvomitmice
July 30, 2011 at 12:34 pm
The mom’s job is to sit on a bench and watch everyone’s stuff while they risk their lives for no good reason. Boring, but safe…
I was gonna say that, too. Very important, being the stuff watcher. Don’t forget your book!
Oh my, good luck!!! Everything about water parks scare me. I suppose at some point I’ll be forced to suffer the same fate, as well, though.
Twitter: lainiegal
July 30, 2011 at 12:57 pm
At first I thought you were shutting down your blog and I was like “but I just got here! Don’t shut it down!” And then I was thinking “she won’t listen to me, she doesn’t even know me.”
And now? Now I want to have diarrhea on your behalf. I’m not so good with dropping in the dark. Call me crazy.
Take a book and sit in the shade.
sometimes the car runs out of gas and if you cry really hard they might think you’re sad about that.
Twitter: meredithlopez
July 30, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Good lord woman, you really had me going there for a second! (I blame pregnancy brain.)
Good luck at the water park. If I wasn’t part of the long list of people who aren’t allowed to do stuff like that I’d totally offer to go on all the scary stuff for you. But I can’t. So hide a beer in a brown paper bag and suck it up for me.
Godspeed.
Just THINK of the blog fodder this will inspire. I, for one, CAN. NOT. WAIT.
Wendy is good people.
Oh Em Gee you couldn’t pay me to enter a facility that has a cartoon map that resembles a junior high biology book illustration of the inside of the Human body
Wendi’s quick on her feet, that one.
I’m with the others. Bring a good book, find a shady spot, and pretend you’re alone somewhere. If you had to pay for a ticket, it would be a different story. This way, you’re not really “wasting” your money.
Aaah – you crack me up.
I’ll be waiting for you in the afterlife. That’s where I’m writing from now. Look for the whiskey bottle in the light. That’s me holding it out for you as a beacon of hope. Death was way easier than the Human Tornado Penny Funnel.
This entry started with me being terrified and ended with me being exhausted. Just looking at the map is enough. Maybe the diner has margaritas? or at least beer?
Twitter: FairlyOddMother
July 30, 2011 at 8:05 pm
And what they don’t tell you is the wedgie you get after one of those drops is one you need tongs to remove.
Tomorrow morning, tell your kids you are pregnant. Let them freak out and get excited (or whatever) and when you are at the park, you can show them the signs that say, “no pregnant riders”. After you leave, you can tell them you were kidding. I’m sure there will be laughs by all.
Twitter: AnnaNonamus
July 30, 2011 at 10:09 pm
I love amusement parks, but when it comes to water parks, drop me in the lazy river, and disappear, kids. I hate how crowded everything is, though. It’s more like bumper cars in the lazy river.
Take me to a lake or pool over a water park any day. Next weekend, I’m going tubing down a river- you just float on a tube for several hours, sitting there peeing yourself, and drinking copious amounts of alcohol. No kids for me, but fuck, it’ll be with 50-100 super close family members. But, that’s where the copius amounts of alcohol come into play. I have a cooler that floats along beside me in it’s own tube.
it looks like tons of fun! have a great time! and i sincerely hope it doesn’t rain, look like it might rain, or that a forecast is mistakenly thought to show rain, making you have to postpone your super-fun trip.
Twitter: Mamabirddiaries
July 30, 2011 at 11:47 pm
That map is scary. I got that offer. I said no. Without even seeing the map. I knew there was no way I could handle the anxiety. Have fun!!
I actually had a f*cking heart attack, reading the title of this blog post, and then reading your first sentence, and paragraph. I mean, it’s after midnight, I’m WORKING for God’s sake, since I’m leaving for BlogHer in a few days and have a million things to take care of before I go, and I seriously felt my heart go *heart attack* and my head go “NOOOOOOOOO….” because I thought you were quitting blogging, and if you were, I was going to not go to BlogHer out of a severe case of depression. Damn it. Now I still have to go.
Good Luck at that insane water park. FYI, Ottawa has the world’s largest water park. Well, right outside Ottawa. I can’t even go. I almost died on a slie at Atlantis once. YOU, however, will be FINE. I promise. (I? Am slowly dying from mommy guilt at leaving my boys for THREE NIGHTS.) As my mother would say.. “What kind of mother leaves her kids for three nights????” SOB. Sorry, I’m over-tired and over-stressed. xoxo
God be with you my friend.
Also, can I have your readership when you go? A simple redirect from your URL to mine will do.
Thank you.
Twitter: mommyshorts
July 31, 2011 at 2:41 am
I seriously thought you were announcing the end of your blog and I was all — WHAT?? But you didn’t even say anything at dinner!
Thank god it was only Death By Waterpark.
Farewell, new friend.
Twitter: asideofrice
July 31, 2011 at 9:04 am
I can’t wait for the online Ladrinka review of the water park. Since you may be dead, can we count on Young Landrinka, your daughter or perhaps even Papa to blog about it? Especially if *someone* takes Wendi’s suggestion.
Twitter: asideofrice
July 31, 2011 at 9:05 am
Ugh. *Young Ladrinka Now I feel like poop in the pool.
Twitter: annsrants
July 31, 2011 at 9:10 am
Intern. NOW.
So funny! And SO glad you’re not closing down your blog like you (evil woman) led me to believe at first!
You got me! I was prepared for the big goodbye, but here you’re going to the waterpark, which yes, I agree, may result in tragedy, but more of the “Geez, my boob keeps popping out of my suit when I go down the water slide!”
Damn you woman – I actually believed you were ending your blog for a minute and boy was I pissed! Thank GOD you’re only drowing. Or will it be head trauma?
Water parks are gross. As soon as you see someone with an open wound you should be able to convince your family to leave. It will probably only take 6 minutes.
Godspeed.
Twitter: shafeename
July 31, 2011 at 1:33 pm
i have to admit ! reading the first few lines of the post kinda scared me !! i was like “is she gonna stop blogging??” but common ! trust me you will have more fun than the kids 😀
Oh, I am so glad you are only dying and not ending your blog, you scared the pool poop out of me. You know I will be praying for you.
Twitter: NorthWestMommy
July 31, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Jerry Seinfeld said: There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. I happen to agree, wholeheartedly. It was nice knowing you, see you in heaven, right behind you with two county fairs in one month…
OMFGawd! I thought you were quitting blogging. You realize that if that day ever comes there’ll be a black hole in the blogosphere right? Right??
Where’s my damn comment?
Twitter: Peajaye
July 31, 2011 at 8:02 pm
On the map I saw that “Lazy River” was written in yellow letters – which I believe is code for Pee. But I doubt the peeing is restricted to only that one attraction.
Twitter: gdrpempress
August 1, 2011 at 2:19 am
That wasn’t nice at all.
You made me gasp and cry NO! and wake up everyone in the house.
Because it could happen: bloggers stop blogging.
I’m happy now, that it’s not the good bye I feared it was, but still: I’ll be alright. Just still, the wound…too fresh.
I’ll be back to comment on the Lazy River tomorrow.
xo
Remember that time you tried to get everyone to read James Joyce?
Yeah,,,,,,, It’s worse than that,,,,
Get a sick note.
Hmm, not back yet, hope you didn’t drown.
I thought you were quitting your blog, Marinka! I was very upset. Glad to hear you’re just afraid of your life at the water park…
Oh no….Marinka’s still absent………not a good sign……
perhaps she’s just in the hospital overnite.
Twitter: leftcoastguy
August 1, 2011 at 2:23 pm
I love your sense of humor…may I come die with you at the water-park? Thats what you should have done, had an all out blogger flash mob at the park…sigh…missed opportunity!
Hi! Got your blog addy from either Simple Dude or CityGirlBlogs. I have just started my own blog and am making the rounds. Truth be told though, there is so much who-the-hell-are-we existential…crap on my blog I would just rather read yours! As a token of my blogger affection I have “bestowed” upon you the glory of a link to your site on my “Good Reads” page. Carry on!
LC Guy
http://leftcoastguy.com
Jesus, you freaked me out. I was wondering how I was going to get that coffee spit-take-while-reading thing to happen 3 mornings a week. And I’ll have you know I’m taking precious time out of my European vacation to chastise you for this.