I can't not. I have to.
The day after the rabbit PowerPoint, we got a kitten PowerPoint. Here it is.
Yes, they teach PowerPoint in school. Fifth grade, people, this is fifth grade.
And, really? I never dropped a kitten on its head. When we were interviewing our current cats, at the local SPCA almost three years ago, one of them scrambled onto my shoulder and did a swan dive onto the floor.
Maybe I should just buy another plastic horse and hope for the best.
Last time, it was cat-sized pink doll hats. This time, it's a pop-up blue top hat, bigger than the poor cat. Stay tuned, I'm sure there are more hats in this cat's future.
Actually it's one cat in two different hats, which is what happens when you're the docile cat and your eight year old owner has commandeered the camera.
As soon as humanly possible after my sister sent me a link to a Tumblr of cat scans, I scanned the cat.
You're welcome.
Sputter, sputter
A postcard came in the mail – addressed to the seven year old – offering "pre-planning" at a nearby cemetery. Yeah, like she’s going to buy a "clean, dry, above ground crypt" anytime soon. The card included a proactive disclaimer: If this information reaches you at a time of sickness or loss, please accept our apology. All well and good, but where’s the apology for making the seven year old’s mother apoplectic about the state of direct mail lists and the attendant waste of natural resources?
Bubble, bubble
Also in the mail, the same seven year old got a thank you note, for a birthday present, from a friend. It was a homemade fill-in-the-blank card, dear _________, thank you for the _________. At the bottom, though, the friend had written in big letters: FREEZE THE TOURIST. I scratched my head, my husband scratched his head, we were both completely baffled. The girl child read it a couple of times, and then lit up: FREEZATORUS! It is, of course, their rendition of the freezing charm from Harry Potter, which the girl and her friends are all presently obsessed with.
Dollar, dollar
A couple of weeks ago, in a fit of trying to raise money to buy a new American Girl doll, the seven year old asked "Mama, if I read all seven Harry Potter books this summer, will you give me a dollar a book?" I'm not really in favor of paying kids to read books, but a dollar a book for all seven rather long and complicated Harry Potter books? Yes, indeed. She's midway through book two. She was supposed to be getting cash for cleaning the cats' litter boxes too, but has been somewhat less diligent about that. Funny that. I'd rather read a book than scoop poop too.
Kitten, kitten
I promise: I am not a cat blogger. I will not be a cat blogger. I am not a crazy cat lady with 407 feral felines running amok in my house.
But, we did acquire a pair of kittens over the weekend.
The girl has been pining after kittens for like half of her young life, probably since she realized that she wasn't ever getting a sibling, thank you very much. We dragged our feet for awhile, and then we went on vacation, and then it wasn't kitten season, and finally we ran out of excuses and really, it's time the girl had some pets. It somehow managed to take repeated visits to the SPCA, because kittens are in great demand and for weeks there were either no kittens, or just one kitten, or they weren't "ready" yet.
Last Friday, they told us that there would definitely be kittens available on Saturday, but that we should be there when they open at 10:00.
Because I was being shepherded out the door by a seven year old vibrating with anticipation, we arrived the SPCA at 8:30 and had the great pleasure of eating our bagels in the parking lot serenaded by barking, yapping, jumping, howling, woofing dogs. For 90 minutes. I might be a little deaf now.
But all's well! We came home with two spayed, micro-chipped, black & white female kittens from the same litter. They were about 8 weeks old, so we've decreed April Fool's Day as their birthday.
And yes, their names are Clover and Rainbow.
