non-attachment: technology

I think that using a computer should be viewed like renting a place and living out of a suitcase; anytime, you might just have to pack up and leave.

Over the past 3 years, I’ve encountered several major system breakdowns, where I had to rescue my data (whatever I could get) and then move to a completely new operating system. There, I would plant down and try to get comfortable all over again. New formats, new interfaces, new glitches and annoying features — but it’s home. At least until the next crisis. The move is always a big production.

Maybe my difficulty with migrating each time is the fact that I treat my computer like it’s a real, permanent home for the mind, and various aspects of life. I really settle into the technology, using it as a storehouse for ideas (virtual Post-its and Word documents), a window into my own experiences (eg. Picasa albums), a key source of entertainment (songs and online reading) and heart-to-heart communication.

But do I want to keep using (only) computers this way? No. It’s too dependent, fickle. Kind of like depending on ecologically unsustainable conveniences (imported plastic goods, gasoline for driving, pesticides for fruits & vegetables):

mindlessly, you run on them —

until they run out on you.
And when they do, you’ve been so wholly dependent that you have no alternatives, no way to keep functioning. Such a good wake-up call for me to put computers in their own place -- to still use them for creating and sharing work documents, for accessing email/remote communication...

But:

If I have ideas, doodle them out on napkins and notebooks; bounce them off other people in conversation. If I have experiences, document them if I can, but most of all, breathe in each smell, sight, emotion, impression, and burn them into my mind, cherishing quality images over hefty photo albums. If I want entertainment, go and spend time with people, sing a song, write a random story, make a smoothie or gift for someone.

They say that for most of his life, Gandhi lived out of a suitcase. The underlying mentality (though perhaps not the feasibility) of this is non-attachment, that is, appreciating but not being too rooted in an environment that constantly shifts.

With non-attachment, anything -- good things, bad things, happy things, difficult things -- can be encountered as important, yet transient visitors.

my favorite tea

I've been drinking a lot of this wonderful herbal tea called "Queen Bee Balance," by Allegro. It is a soothing confetti of raspberry leaf, rose petals, alfafa, spearmint, and dandelion root. It smells of vanilla and flowers, but has a mild, round taste.

Yesterday, one of the tea bags got torn and spilled its contents into the water. I was fascinated by the beautiful colors and had the inspiration for this project today.

What is your favorite tea? I would love to add to my collection!

clarity

Your mind is like the water.

When it is agitated

it becomes difficult to see,

but when you let it settle,

the answer becomes clear.

- Kungfu Panda



My mind was feeling stuck today -

so I wished it to be like water...

handwriting is a memory

{ print }
My elementary school teachers were very, very concerned with proper handwriting. They constantly used their red pens to point out if our letters weren't high enough, or round enough.

We used Clairefontaine notebooks, one for each class. Glossy, colored covers and smooth, thick pages... ruled with strong red lines and four faded blue ones in between so I could obsessively plan out how high each letter should go, and make sure it was all level. (Loved this, of course.)

Recently I tried to recreate this handwriting. Or more so, remember the feeling of making round, deliberate letters in those ruled notebooks.

Handwriting is a happy memory.

just

Download for your desktop here!


( 1600 x 1200, also suitable for 1024 x 768 )


I am using this as my background right now --

whenever I swish my windows to the side, I see it... and I take a breath...

saying yes

Do you make choices to avoid bad things, or to move towards good ones?

In social psychology terms, are you more sensitive to punishment, or reward? Depending on which tends to influence your decisions, you may be relying one of the following motivational systems...

Behavioral Inhibition System (BIS)	Behavioral Activation System (BAS)
"Avoidance" -- NO	"Approach" -- YES
Responsive to threats	Responsive to opportunities
Motivated to avoid punishment	Motivated to gain reward

BACKGROUND

These systems (first proposed by Gray, 1981) are governed by distinct brain processes. Each of us actually has both systems, which get engaged at different times -- e.g., as a kid, you might stick to one side of the playground (behavior) to avoid a fight (punishment) -- BIS; or, you might sit down next to someone at the lunch table (behavior) to make a new friend (reward) -- BAS.

Each person is different in terms of how often the BIS vs. BAS systems get activated. For example, can you pick out the people in your life who tread carefully at every step, watching for potholes? And, do you know people who always jump at every opportunity without much thought to the consequences? There are also people in between, who bounce between both.

There is no "superior" system -- BAS sounds like a fun, exciting way to go, but high-BAS individuals, if not careful, may take risks that are harmful to themselves and others (and are more likely to develop addictions!). At the same time, high-BIS individuals may seem fearful and neurotic at times, but this can also allow them to be dependable, achieve goals, and... stay alive.

APPLICATION

Knowing that we may be lugging these two systems around in our heads, how can we be most effective with them? Today I want to speak to those who sometimes find their BIS system turning on loud & strong, like me.

I'm the kind of person who sees a lot of opportunity and am energized by possibilities (BAS), but am also quick to spot potential threats and be influenced by them (BIS), i.e., this-may-not-work-out-so-let's-just-cut-losses-and-play-it-safe.

While I've made plenty decisions out of hope and excitement, I can also think of many times where I completely missed the boat on great opportunities to learn, grow, develop -- because I was waiting... watching... afraid.

I don't know about you, but missed opportunities hurt. Where to go from here?

(1) Know yourself: are you always listening to your BIS?
(2) Has it brought you any closer to your valued life?
(3) If not, why not give the BAS a chance?

Say yes,

and see where it takes you.

Would love to hear what you think! And check out a related post on Showing Up.

be where you are

Trust the process . Work with what you have . Be where you are

ordinary magic

People may encounter objectively difficult circumstances

-- disaster, loss, illness, transition, heartbreak, etc. --

but still survive, even thrive.


It seems so extraordinary,

but is actually part of human adaptation,

which makes it... an ordinary magic.

nostalgia

Is it strange to feel nostalgia for a place you've never called home?

{ ACT } let go of your struggle

In ACT, it sometimes help to identify "clean" versus "dirty" suffering:

(1) Clean suffering being the kind of emotional "stuff" (eg. sadness, anger, fear, etc.) that one might experience as a primary result of being a conscious, real human being in the world...

(2) Dirty suffering as the secondary struggle against the pain itself.

Maybe, just maybe, pain itself is not toxic. Maybe it's human. So let go of the struggle.

patience

Be patient,

stick to principle,

and it will all open up

like a great cauliflower.

- R.M. Alexander

{ ACT } identifying life values

Values are the lights that guide us, that give us courage to step into fears & risk.

But how can do figure out what we value? One way is to ask an Opposite Question:

If this _______ (fear/pain/risk/etc.) went away,

what would my life look like?
The answers can often be telling. "If I wasn't wrestling with fatigue all the time, I would get up and spend time with my friends, call family more often, keep my home cozy & inviting, exercise and make homemade meals." This is someone who values relationships & health.

Or, "If I weren't so afraid, I would smile more, practice often, ask for more opportunities, and actually put my name out there." This is someone who values courage & creativity!

Try it for yourself:

Think about something you've been struggling with lately. Ask what your life would look like if that struggle went away. Make a list of all the things you would be doing from day to day. Can you see any patterns about what you find important? Even if the struggle remains, how can you start living that out today?

The funny thing is, we often feel like we have to get over certain things (fear/pain/risk/etc.) before we can live out our values. But what if we don't have to wait for the struggle to disappear; what if we could choose to act towards our values now?

Just know your values,

then live them.
This post is part of a series on Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, where I share bite-sized concepts from my training and how they relate to everyday life, wellness & creativity.

dosha types for health

Over the holiday break, I started reading about Ayurvedic medicine. From a physical health standpoint, I was curious to learn more about a system of traditional medicine that has existed for thousands of years (translation: they must have some things right!).

Though I am not much a believer of chakras and such, I became interested by one simple working concept: dosha types.

In a nutshell

Dosha types refer to three different mind/body constitutions that people tend to have:

VATA (WIND/AIR)

Physically: thin frame, quick-footed, and gets cold easily.

Temperament: can be enthusiastic and creative, but also easily become worried or anxious.

PITTA (SUN/HEAT)

Physically: solid and muscular, warm-bodied, with ease of digestion.

Temperament: can be dedicated and capable, but easily become angry or jealous.

KAPHA (EARTH/RAIN)

Physically: stocky build, gains weight easily, have oilier skin/hair, and slower pace.

Temperament: often kind and grounded, but can withdraw, over-indulge, or become possessive.

Eating for your type

There are different kinds of foods recommended for each of these types, in order to "balance" the dosha. For Vata types, whose bodies are naturally colder and lighter, the best foods are warming -- i.e., soft cooked foods, warming spices, cozy teas, etc. On the other hand, for Pitta types who are already fiery in composition, cooling foods are recommended -- i.e., raw veggies, cooling spices, water-based fruits and drinks. For Kapha types, light foods with strong flavours are suggested.

Self-knowledge for health

When such balances are made (and others not described here), maximum health -- both physical & emotional -- can be achieved. But how?

What I find most compelling about this ancient system is the timeless wisdom of tailoring your diet and your lifestyle to your specific body type. Rather than being dictated by a one-size-fits-all magic program, it proposes an intuitive way to live and take care of yourself -- one that transcends medical philosophies. The point is just to

Know Yourself:

be aware of your natural tendencies

and learn to balance them with appropriate choices.

---
Do you know your dosha type? Here are some places to start: 1, 2. As a self-identified Vata type, I have always gravitated towards soups/broths, chilis, teas & warm spices to feel at my best, and now I have a new lens for understanding why!

new year mindfulness

Take each moment

& experience it like it is New...

because it is.


Have a mindful new year!

{ ACT } our values as guides

How do you move in the direction of a life you value? This is one of the main questions in Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT). In ACT, you choose to allow yourself to stay with all your feelings (even the hard ones), because running away from them has only increased your struggle and narrowed your life.

For example, Miss P who doesn't want anything to do with feeling incompetent may find she is always anxiously on the lookout for failure in her life. Not only that, but she constantly behaves in a way that helps to minimize risk and pain -- but ultimately prevents growth and spontaneity.

Although Miss P hates feeling incompetent, if she thought about it she might say "I want to look back and see that my life was not about hiding or playing it safe... but about being real and adventurous, and connected."

If her heart could be pulled -- really pulled -- by these values, maybe they would help her stay the true course in moments when she is tempted to jump ship.

If we had a better sense of what we want our lives to Be about,

we could have reason or courage to Have _________ (fear/pain/risk/etc.),

if that meant giving ourselves enough space to Act towards what we care about.
Everyone has their own set of "guiding lights" (values) -- some already shine boldly and brightly, while others need to be dusted off after years of being forgotten, covered over by other messages or priorities.

What are your values -- i.e., at the end of the day, what do you want your life to Be about?

peony

to make a home

in the present

...

to make an opportunity

from the situation at hand

the wisdom of limits

In a world that tells us to do it all and do it now, it can be hard to listen to the voice that says: "Stop. Be still, for a moment. Take care of yourself. It's OK."

Don't get me wrong, I am a huge believer in pushing the limits and giving 150% -- and sometimes we really do sell ourselves short when we could have tried harder, or gone further.

Yet I think society too often casts limits as adversaries, where the goal is to "conquer" all our limitations and not let them "restrain" us. But what this kind of language does is, essentially, to set up an epic battle of us vs. our limitations. And if we don't win, it's our fault.

What if, instead, our limits were our friends?
What if they can be instructive helpers, our guides on this road through life? I'm starting to believe that they are -- or at least can be. Instead of mindlessly spinning a million plates because they're all so beautiful and important and I'm afraid to admit I can't hold them all up, maybe I could listen to my aching muscles, my nervous energy, my frantic heart... and say enough. I can't do everything, but I can do some things, and do them well.

Limits can make us creative, build our resilience, and teach us about being human. When we heed the wisdom of our limits, maybe we do less but are free to give/be more.

This post was made for Besotted's InspirationRx prompt on slowing down and listening to things we don't normally hear. Do you listen to your limits? How do you manage that fine balance between pushing the envelope and respecting your limitations?

on wellness & meaning

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances,
but only by lack of meaning and purpose.

- Viktor Frankl

mooncakes for mid-autumn

My friend reminded me that today is the date of the 2013 Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival!

One of the tasty hallmarks of this festival are the mooncakes, which are usually filled with sweet red lotus or red bean paste, plus a salted egg yolk tucked away somewhere so that, when you cut into it (and if you're lucky), you may just get a "full moon" studded in your slice! Sweet salty yum.

I love the intricate designs that are often molded onto the surface of mooncakes, and tried to incorporate their essence into today's illustration. My handwritten script is just as poor as it was when I was 8 years old, but this time I blame Illustrator for that.

If anyone wants to try their hand at a homemade mooncake, here's one nifty & simple recipe. I personally would prefer to buy them from the store in their decorative boxes, though!

Interested in reading more about the Mid-Autumn Festival? Try this article on New York mooncake bakeries or this one on the legends behind the festival.

thank you card design

Speaking of gratitude, thank-you cards are an excellent habit -- one that I am only beginning to practice! Here's a screenshot of a recent project in which I did lettering + illustration for a November wedding. I like that the design turned out simple & playful, and am pleased that it will be used by the newlyweds to send love & thanks to all their guests...

PS. Interested in working together on a custom design? Don't hesitate to get in touch!